Must Be Love (6 page)

Old Fox-Gifford pokes the Labrador with the end of his stick.

‘Hal’s just being friendly,’ he says. ‘He likes you, although I can’t think why.’ Then he smiles. ‘I expect you smell of dog.’

Even Sophia looks a little embarrassed by her husband now.

‘Madge, let’s see if we can find Alexander for you.’ She gazes past me towards one of the two shabby sofas in the room, her adoring gaze like a cow’s on her newborn calf. ‘Oh, there he is with Delphi. Have you met Delphi Letherington? No, you can’t possibly have met all of Alexander’s friends yet. Delphi’s a marvellous horsewoman, so talented. She runs the equestrian centre on the way to Talysands.’

The sight of Alex on the sofa in a shirt and tie, with his legs stretched out and his arm across the back, laughing with a long-legged blonde, makes me feel slightly nauseous. I try to suppress my reaction, but Sophia smiles as if to say, I saw that.

‘They make a striking couple, don’t they?’ she says, capitalising on my insecurity. ‘Delphi’s mother was in despair on the day of the wedding – she asked me if I’d have one last go at persuading her against it, but would she listen?’ She shakes her head. ‘Silly girl. She went ahead and married that hideous man. She regretted it afterwards, of course. He was her farrier and it turned out he was shoeing more than one horse, so to speak.’

I take it from this that Delphi – who’s wearing an evening gown in lilac satin with ruffles and flounces (think 1980s Laura Ashley) – is no longer married, and that Sophia’s dreaming of a match between her and my boyfriend.

I remind myself that Alex has chosen to be with me. It isn’t easy. My previous boyfriends have had a nasty tendency to dump me for other women. However, I’m not about to let Sophia poison my trust in him. I won’t give her the satisfaction. I gaze towards Alex, who looks up in my direction, smiles a slow heart-stopping smile that I know is meant for me alone, then turns to the woman beside him and excuses himself.

‘You look stunning, Maz,’ Alex says, slipping his arm around my back and pressing his mouth to my ear as he joins me, and Sophia moves away to ‘circulate’, as she puts it. ‘Come with me.’

We stroll out of the crowded drawing room into the hallway, crossing the tiled floor to the foot of a staircase the National Trust would be proud of. I can picture generation after generation of Fox-Giffords sliding down the gleaming oak banister, whooping as they go.

Alex swings me round beneath the mistletoe and holly suspended from the ceiling, and plants a kiss on my lips and another, and another, until …

‘Daddy?’ a small voice cuts in. ‘Daddy! There you are. Seb, I’ve found him.’

Groaning, Alex draws back and slowly drops my hands, his expression a mixture of frustration and apology, before he looks up to where the staircase takes a turn up to the first landing.

With a sigh, I follow his gaze.

Two pairs of eyes stare back. A girl of five or six with straight, pale-blonde shoulder-length hair looks over the handrail, and a boy of about three, who’s a replica of Alex with dark curls and a fierce expression, peers between the balusters.

‘Daddy, is that your girlfriend?’ the girl says.

‘You know very well who she is, Lucie.’

I have met Lucie and Seb before, but only in passing, for example when their mother’s been late picking them up on a Sunday night to take them back to their home in London.

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t get round to telling you,’ Alex says, turning back to me, and the little bubbles of desire that have been fizzing up inside me start to pop one by one as he goes on, ‘Astra was supposed to pick them up this afternoon, but she’s been delayed on her way back from Verbier. She’ll be here tomorrow.’

The ache of longing becomes a pang of annoyance and regret. Bother Astra and her skiing. I’d planned to have Alex all to myself tonight. After the party, or as soon as we could respectably get away, we’d escape to the Barn across the courtyard from the Manor, where Alex lives. (I used to imagine Alex living there with his horse, drinking tea out of a bucket and sleeping on a haystack, but it’s a proper conversion, double-glazed with plumbing and electricity.) Anyway, I thought we’d fall through the door in a passionate embrace, Alex’s hands hitching up my dress to find the hem of my lace-top hold-ups, and mine on the leather of his belt. I thought we’d strew our clothes across the floor on the way to the hearth of the open fire, and there we’d –

Alex gives me a nudge before I get too carried away.

‘Oh, it doesn’t matter. These things happen,’ I say, trying to sound as if I don’t care in the slightest. Maybe it’s for the best, because I’ve just realised that in all my hurry to get away from the practice this evening, I’ve left my overnight bag behind with my toothbrush and other bits and pieces. I’ll have to get a taxi back later.’

‘Thanks, Maz.’

I look up as Alex’s children troop down the stairs.

‘Hello again,’ I say, but they gaze at me mutinously, Lucie with her sequinned gold dress lifted up and hugged tight across her chest, and Seb in a white shirt, velvet bow tie and waistcoat, with a finger up his nose.

‘Say hello, guys,’ says Alex, but they remain silent.

‘Don’t force them,’ I say gently. ‘I don’t mind.’

‘Where are your manners?’ he grumbles at them. ‘I let you stay up tonight because you promised to be on your best behaviour.’

‘Only because your girlfriend’s here,’ Lucie says scathingly. ‘Did you know, she doesn’t even know how to ride yet. Mummy says –’

‘Shh,’ Alex interrupts. ‘We don’t want to know what your mother thinks.’

I know what I’m thinking, that Lucie’s a spoiled brat.

‘I want my mummy.’ Seb’s voice turns to a scream as his sister takes a swipe at him.

‘That’s enough, both of you,’ Alex says, remarkably calmly. ‘Let’s get you something to eat. I told the parents they should have some decent food, not those awful puff-pastry things, but they won’t break with tradition. What do you fancy?’ He glances towards me and I mouth the word ‘You’, and he grins, and says, ‘You mean you’ve reverted, Maz, wanting a piece of meat,’ which makes me giggle quietly to myself.

‘Can we have toast, Daddy?’ says Lucie.

‘I expect so,’ Alex says. ‘I’ll see what I can find in Humpy’s kitchen.’

Lucie and I end up sitting on the stairs, waiting for Alex and Seb to fetch provisions from the kitchen. Actually, I sit on the third stair up while Lucie sits astride the banister.

‘How old are you?’ Lucie asks me from her superior position.

‘Thirty-one.’

She frowns. ‘That’s really old.’

‘Not as old as Alex – I mean, your dad. How old are you?’ I ask back.

‘Six.’ She flings herself forwards and hugs the newel post as if she’s petting a horse.

‘And when were you six?’

She gives me a long sigh and a withering look, much like the one her grandmother gave me earlier.

‘On my birthday,’ she replies. ‘You know, you aren’t as pretty as my mummy. She never wears black clothes.’ She frowns. ‘She says you’re a gold-digger.’

‘Oh?’

Lucie pauses as if gauging my reaction to what I’m assuming is an insult, before she goes on brightly, ‘What’s a gold-digger?’ Then, rushing on before I can give her an answer, ‘My mummy says it won’t last. That’s what Humpy says too. Over my dead body,’ she adds, mimicking her grandmother’s severe tone.

‘Does Lucie ever stop talking?’ I ask Alex when the party has drawn to a close with the gutsy midnight chimes of the grandfather clock in the hall and the singing of ‘Auld Lang Syne’, and the guests are beginning to disperse. ‘I feel as if I’ve been interrogated for hours.’

‘She doesn’t give up easily,’ Alex says. ‘Talking of which, did that dog we brought back from Talyford make it? I forgot to ask.’

‘She’s still with us.’ It’s been a week now, though. I checked up on Sally before I left, changing the bag on her drip, giving her another dose of painkiller and stroking her soft wavy fur. ‘Hang on in there, Sal,’ I murmured, but she didn’t raise her head or wag her tail. She barely had the strength to open her eyes under those long blonde lashes of hers. ‘I’m not sure she’s going to pull through. I’ve never seen a dog look so depressed.’

‘Don’t take it to heart, Maz. You can’t do any more.’ ‘I know. I can’t help it, though. Her owner’s lovely and been through a lot. It doesn’t seem fair somehow.’

‘Life isn’t fair, though, is it,’ Alex says, his voice suddenly harsh, and I wonder what he’s thinking of, a patient or his family torn apart by his ex-wife. (Astra left him for a footballer several years her junior, before hooking up with Hugo, her current man.) I can’t ask him because Mr Lacey has mislaid his coat.

‘It’s a Barbour,’ he says, which isn’t much help, I think, amused by the sheer number of waxed coats and jackets hanging on the hooks behind the stairs. Rolling his eyes at me in mock despair, Alex starts hunting through them while Fifi sidles up to me, fastening the ties on her outdoor hat.

‘I imagine you don’t have to worry about driving home, Maz,’ she says with a smirk, as if she’s anticipating a triumph in uncovering my current domestic arrangements.

‘Indeed, I don’t. Alex has ordered me a taxi.’ I lie brazenly. I check my watch. ‘It’ll be here in ten minutes.’

‘Oh? Oh, if I’d known, I’d have offered you a lift. My husband’s acting as chauffeur tonight.’

‘Never mind,’ I say cheerfully. ‘There’ll be another time. Goodnight, Fifi, and happy New Year.’

Deciding to make myself useful, I return the tray of empty plates and glasses to the kitchen – Alex and I had cheese on toast with ketchup with the children.

The kitchen is vast like the other rooms in the house – vast and primitive, with an Aga, two butler’s sinks, an old fireplace, big enough to roast one of Alex’s bovine patients whole, and an antiquated fridge and freezer that don’t match. The waitresses who were serving the drinks and nibbles have retreated here, apparently to finish up rather than clear up. One of them is Shannon, and she isn’t so quiet and shy among friends. She’s in black, of course, and standing on the kitchen table with two others, casting off her white pinny and draining a bottle of champagne at the same time. Vampire, activist and binge drinker. Emma and I have chosen well! I only hope she recovers from her hangover before she starts work at Otter House in a couple of days’ time.

On my way back along the gloomy corridor that links the hallway to the of the house, I hear voices. I hesitate, staggering back into the spiky shadow of a set of antlers mounted on the wall and draped with streamers. I look towards the light, where Delphi in the lilac dress is talking to Sophia and Old Fox-Gifford, their backs to me.

‘Alexander insisted on inviting her,’ Sophia says.

‘You know what he’s like,’ says Delphi. ‘He’s always so generous.’

‘I don’t know where he gets it from,’ Sophia says, ‘not from his father, that’s for sure.’

‘Are you taking my name in vain?’ Old Fox-Gifford cuts in.

‘We’re talking about Madge,’ says Sophia.

‘One of the mad cows from Otter House,’ says Old Fox-Gifford. ‘Her name’s Maz, which makes her sound like a woman trying to be a man to me.’

I’d like to show myself, to contradict them, but my legs are a little unsteady after consuming rather more Buck’s Fizz than I intended and on an empty stomach. I am neither mad nor a man.

‘I can see the attraction, but her family connections–’ says Old Fox-Gifford.

‘We don’t know her family,’ Sophia cuts in. ‘We haven’t met the parents.’

‘We don’t know that she has any, and if she has, they wouldn’t be our type. It’s no use looking them up in
Debrett’s
.’ Delphi titters as Old Fox-Gifford goes on, ‘She’s a Londoner, born in the shadow of Battersea power station and a stone’s throw from the dogs’ home. Alexander thinks he’s going to teach her to ride, but she’s always got some excuse. It’s too cold, too wet, too muddy.’

‘What a shame,’ says Delphi. ‘I’d ride out with him anytime.’

There’s an edge to her flirtatious tone that makes me realise she’s serious, and I make a mental note to watch out for Delphi Letherington in future.

‘Well, if it’s any comfort, Delphi, it won’t last,’ says Sophia. ‘He’ll soon see she’s completely unsuitable.’

‘I have no doubt you’ll make absolutely certain of that, Sophia,’ says Old Fox-Gifford.

‘He’s besotted by her looks, that winning smile of hers and her city ways, but once he’s taken her out and about in society a few more times, he’ll realise she has no social graces,’ Sophia insists.

‘According to Alexander she was dragged up on some council estate,’ Old Fox-Gifford says.

‘So she’s more ladette than lady. A bit of a chav, in fact.’

A chav? I doubt that even Sophia realises how hurtful that is. How dare she talk about me like that. I’m not ashamed of my roots. I bite back tears and straighten my spine. I mustn’t let them get to me. It’s the Fox-Giffords who should be ashamed – they are contemptible.

‘I’ve had such a wonderful time,’ Delphi says. ‘It’s my favourite night of the year.’

‘We’re very glad you could join us,’ says Sophia. ‘It’s lovely to see some of the old set up at the Manor. We have to stick together, those of us who are left. It was such a shame about you and Jake.’

Sophia reminds me of a lamb I saw at vet school, a stillborn creature with two heads, two faces …

Delphi holds up her hand, palm out. ‘My first resolution of the New Year is to forget we were ever married. New Year, new start, new horse. Which reminds me, I want Alex to take a look at one of the horses that’s just arrived on the yard. He’s a gelding, yet he’s trying to mount everything in sight.’

‘It’s probably a rig,’ says Old Fox-Gifford, and to my alarm, they start moving towards me. ‘Someone’s left a ball behind somewhere. It happens.’

I’m not sure what to do, run back the other way or tough it out. I choose the latter, nodding and smiling as I go, showing off my devil-may-care exterior, when inside my confidence is completely shattered. I can’t understand why Alex’s parents have taken against me. I would have thought I’d have been the perfect match, another vet who knows what it’s like to be on call, leaving meals half eaten to dash off to an emergency. If nothing else, I’m surprised they haven’t seen the potential for a takeover of Otter House, not that I’d let them of course. Emma would have a fit.