Mutiny! (7 page)
Authors: Jim Ladd
T
he crew members were spread in a
semi-circle
on the main deck, gathered round a large holoscreen that was hooked up to the ship's telescope. They were perched on barrels, or sitting cross-legged on the floor, all keenly awaiting the entertainment that was about to come. They chatted and joked and clinked their tankards of grum together. It wasn't often that you could take anything for granted on board the
Jolly Apollo
, but this time everyone was pretty sure it was going to be brilliant.
“I think I see it,” said Vulpus, spotting the tiny dot on the holoscreen.
The dot grew larger and as it increased in size it took on a form. Slowly the shape became clearer â it was Black-Hole Beard's ship,
Gravity's Revenge
. Everyone booed and hissed as it approached. Sam grinned â this was by far the best way to see the
Revenge
: from a very safe distance. Bit by bit the menacing form began to fill the screen; the hull bristling with laser cannons, the midnight-black sails
billowing in the solar winds.
“Can you zoom in any closer?” asked Comet. “I'd hate to miss anything!”
There were conspiratorial chuckles from the crew. Sam fiddled with the dial on the telescope in front of him. The image on the holoscreen went blurry briefly, then focused in on the approaching ship, showing what was happening on the main deck of the
Revenge
. The enormous first-mate, Yarr, was striding about directing Black-Hole Beard's crew, who leaped around the ship in an impressive display of almost robotic efficiency. One-Hand Luke, a particularly
fearsome-looking
crew member, was using his hydraulic hook to winch in the sails. Much as the
Apollo
's crew were looking forward to what was going to happen, they were still intimidated by how good the
Revenge
's crew were. The door to the Captain's cabin opened.
“Ah, the main attraction,” said Comet.
The crew giggled.
“And don't he look fancy!” said Pegg.
Much to the
Apollo
crew's amusement, Black-Hole Beard did indeed look very fancy.
Black-Hole Beard, scourge of the galaxies, terror of the interstellar regions, voted meanest pirate alive for the last twelve years running, was dressed in what looked like a pirate outfit designed by the girliest girl in the Universe â one with an addiction to lace.
“That's the dress uniform of a fleet admiral,” Comet explained longingly.
“It's very ⦠flouncy!” Sam giggled.
There were more ruffles on the sleeves than on anything Sam had ever seen before. The formal frock coat rippled to the floor and pooled on to the deck in a long train. Even Black-Hole Beard's wiry black beard was neatly combed and plaited, the ends tied in a bow. He looked like a Yillapian Gorilla squeezed into a dress.
“He's wearing
knickerbockers
!” shouted Legg in hysterical disbelief.
The crew exploded in laughter as Black-Hole Beard strutted around his deck in a pair
of frilly pantaloons that even he couldn't make look tough. He stopped and adjusted the pale, baby-blue tricorn hat with lace edging and smiled happily.
“Bless his frilly pants, he looks so pleased with himself,” said Comet, taking a sip of grum.
“Ain't he going to be disappointed?” laughed Pegg.
“It's just a pity we haven't got any sound,” said Sam. “I wish I could hear what he's saying.”
Gravity's Revenge
was fast approaching the asteroid where it was meant to meet the
Jolly
Apollo
. Things were getting so exciting that Jonjarama let out a squeaky little trump. On screen, confusion flashed over Black-Hole Beard's face as he caught sight of the asteroid.
“There he blows!” Pegg crowed as Black-Hole Beard's face turned redder and redder.
“Bring up the asteroid please, Sam,” said Comet.
“Aye, aye, Captain,” Sam replied.
He swivelled the telescope towards the asteroid
that they were currently speeding away from. On it cowered Goldstar. Black-Hole Beard's younger brother was marooned there wearing only his gold cape, his pants and a look of extreme embarrassment. As he stared at his big brother he mouthed the word, “Sorry”.
Sam swivelled the telescope back so that it focused on the
Revenge
. As the delighted crew watched, Black-Hole Beard snatched the
baby-blu
e admiral's hat from his head and screwed it into a tight ball. He let out a bellow of rage, which Sam could have sworn he heard even though they were twenty space-knots away.
The crew rolled round the deck, roaring with laughter. Sam laughed until he cried, and his stomach ached more than it had after he'd had second helpings of Barney's Stovacian Surprise Stew.
Finally Captain Comet wiped tears from under his eyepatches and flicked off the screen, where Black-Hole Beard was jumping up and down and hitting his brother with his ruined hat.
“Right-ho me hearties, that's enough,” said Comet, beaming at his crew. “All we're going to get now is Captain Fancy Pants prancing around in his frilly knickers, and frankly, I'm in too good a mood to see that hairy old party-pooper! Piole, would you be so kind as to find somewhere to store our treasure?”
Comet passed over Goldstar's solid gold bowling ball.
“Best give the old treasure chest a clean first,” Comet continued. “It'll be a bit dusty, no doubt.”
Sam glanced round the crew and felt a surge of happiness. “What next, Captain?” he asked.
“It's no good hanging around.” Comet patted his hat as if to check it was still there, then nodded to his first mate. “Mr Pegg and Mr Legg, please set the wheel hard to starboard and plot a new course. We've still got a planet to find. The
Jolly
Apollo
is back on its way to Planet X!”
“Aye, aye, Cap'n,” both of the first mate's heads replied.
“But first a toast,” said Comet, rising to
his feet. “To Planet X and success!”
“To Planet X and success!” the crew cheered and each took a long drink of grum.
“Captain, with your permission I'd like to make a toast, too,” said Sam. He raised his glass high in the air.
“To Captain Comet and the best crew in the entire Universe! The
Jolly Apollo
!”
“To adventures and excitement!” Barney added as they clinked their grum glasses.
“And to Black-Hole Beard's frilly pants!” Sam laughed.
“Hear, hear!” everyone shouted. “Hear, hear!”
S
amson Starbuck leaned on the rail that ran around the crow’s nest of the pirate spaceship, the
Jolly Apollo
, and looked at the endless stretch of the Universe around him. The deep black of space was scattered with colourful clouds of gas, the short, bright tail of a slow moving purple comet and countless pinpricks of light. Sam knew that each one of those lights was a star, and each of those stars could be surrounded by planets. And on one of those planets, his parents were
space-shipwrecked
and waiting to be rescued.
Sam turned his attention to the tattered piece of cloth in his hand. It was a rough map that his mum had managed to draw on a scrap of spacesuit material and send to Sam in their ship’s homing beacon. It showed the way to the planet where his parents’ spaceship had crashed while they’d been scouring the galaxies for new forms of plant life.
Sam’s only hope of rescuing his parents had been to stowaway on a space pirate ship. Luckily, they had landed on the fabled Planet X, which space-pirate myth claimed was a famous treasure
planet made of solid gold, with islands of rubies. When the pirates found out he had a map to Planet X, they were happy to let Sam join the crew.
As Sam had discovered, choosing the
Apollo
was both the best
and
worst decision he could have made. The crew were terrible at being pirates: they were always getting lost, they never found any treasure, they argued with each other and the food on board was terrible. However they were also kind-hearted, loved a good
space-shanty,
enjoyed a game of ten-pin bowling (all pirate ships had at least one bowling alley on board), and always looked out for each other – including Sam, who was now the cabin boy.
“Korraaaackkkkkk! Korraaaackkkkkk!”
A terrible sound battered the silence of Sam’s lookout post.
“Korraaaackkkkkk! Korraaaackkkkkk!”
The deafening screech rattled around the
Apollo
again. Sam groaned. The noise was coming from a Pgtargan cockerel, the noisiest type of bird in the tri-galaxy network. Captain
Comet had bought it at the last space port. He reckoned the crew needed something to get them up in the mornings, which was probably true, but the cockerel had swiftly become the least popular thing on board the ship. In fact, it was probably the least popular thing to ever have been on any Space Pirate ship, and that was saying something. Even from the top of the main mast Sam could hear the curses of his shipmates.
But it wasn’t the only noise Sam could hear – there was also the unmistakable sound of someone climbing the rigging to the crow’s nest. And by the awful smell wafting upwards it had to be Barney, the ship’s cook, with breakfast. A large tentacle curled over the edge of the rail and moments later Barney hauled himself up next to Sam. It was a bit of a tight squeeze in the crow’s nest as Barney was a huge multi-tentacled Kraken. He looked truly terrifying…
