Authors: Sonia Sotomayor
Tags: #Biography & Autobiography, #Personal Memoirs, #Lawyers & Judges, #Women
Before thanking the people who helped me with this book, I must thank the inordinately large number of friends and family, mentors and colleagues, who have made significant contributions to my life, without whom there might be no reason for a book. Even acquaintances and strangers have made lasting impressions. Just as I was unable to include in these pages many of my experiences and people who have played a part in my life, I cannot acknowledge all of you here by name. To those who have shared important parts of my life, know you are deeply valued even if you or those experiences are not mentioned.
There are many who helped me in the writing of this book by sharing memories or gathering information. If I do not acknowledge you here, it is because your importance in my life and my gratitude to you has already been made clear to the reader. Others who are vitally important to me today are not mentioned because you entered my life after I first became a judge, where this book ends.
I do want to give special thanks to a number of friends not included in the book who have been directly instrumental in the process of its creation and publication.
Given the demands of my day job, this book would not have been possible without the collaboration of Zara Houshmand. Zara, a most talented writer herself, listened to my endless stories and those of my families and friends, and helped choose those that in retelling would paint the most authentic picture of my life experiences. Zara, you are
an incredible person with a special ability to help others understand and express themselves better; I am deeply indebted to your assistance. One of the most profound treasures of this process has been the gift of your friendship, which will last a lifetime.
I am truly grateful for the contributions of my editor at Alfred A. Knopf, George Andreou, in helping make my stories come alive. George’s deft editorial touch added much, but he also expertly guided me through the publishing process. I am enormously grateful as well to Sonny Mehta, the publisher of Knopf, who has treated me with much kindness and attention. Everyone at Knopf with whom I have met and worked, and everyone at Random House, Inc., Knopf’s parent, has extended assistance with professional skill and grace. I am appreciative of all of your efforts.
Research related to Puerto Rico, help in reviewing the manuscript, and translation of this book from English to Spanish were particularly important. I am especially indebted to three people for their tireless efforts in this part of the book’s development. I can never catalogue all of the work they have volunteered in helping me with this book or the many gifts of love they have given me through the years. I can only say thank you to Xavier Romeu-Matta, a brilliant lawyer who was my law clerk during my first year as a federal district court judge; his wife, the accomplished writer Lyn Di Iorio, professor of English (and unofficial language and literature in Spanish expert) at the City College of New York and CUNY Graduate Center; and Emérida Rivera, who has traveled repeatedly throughout Puerto Rico to help in my research and proven by example that saintly hearts and souls still exist in the world. The Hunter College Center for Puerto Rican Studies also provided invaluable background materials. Thanks are due also to Ligia Pesquera and Ángel Rivera, whose kind hospitality supported our research in Puerto Rico; to Sylvia Gutiérrez, who assisted with travels; and to Lourdes Pérez, who provided background on Puerto Rican poetry.
I am grateful to Amanda Tong, Colin Wright, and Kate Beddall for their help in transcribing and translating interviews, and for the reflections they offered.
Another gift in the process of producing this book has been working
with and befriending my book agent, Peter Bernstein, and his wife, Amy Bernstein, of the Bernstein Literary Agency. You both have shepherded this book with consummate professional skill, sage advice, and caring. I thank John S. Siffert of Lankler Siffert & Wohl LLP, and his wife, Goldie Alfasi, for introducing me to Peter and Amy and for being such supportive friends during this process. I also thank John for introducing me to Richard Hofstetter and Mark A. Merriman of Frankfurt Kurnit Klein & Selz, PC, and for their legal and professional advice. John, I am especially grateful for the wise legal counsel you gave me in drafting the book proposal, overseeing the contract negotiations, and reviewing this book. I have three brothers: my birth brother, you, and Robert A. Katzmann. All three of you have supported me through my recent life experiences in ways that cannot be acknowledged here but are inscribed in my heart.
Some friends who are not named in the text shared memories that appear in the book or reviewed the manuscript to offer advice. Each of you is special to me and I acknowledge you here in chronological order of your appearance in my life: Peter Kougasian, with whom I shared experiences at Princeton University, Yale Law School, and the New York County District Attorney’s Office; Paula DiPerna, a journalist and author whose book
Juries on Trial: Faces of American Justice
provides an account of the child pornography trial; Cynthia Fischer, the second female partner at Pavia & Harcourt, and David Glasser, an associate then at the firm; Nicole Gordon, founding Executive Director of the New York City Campaign Finance Board; Mari Carmen Aponte, now United States ambassador to El Salvador and then member of the Puerto Rican Legal Defense and Education Fund (now Latino Justice); Robert Sack, a former colleague on the United States Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit Court; and Jennifer Callahan, documentary film producer and writer.
Lee Llambelis and Ellis Cose, you encouraged me to write this book and guided me in the initial process of thinking about having it published. I give special thanks also to Sue Anderson and Kitty Reese: you pitched in each time I needed help to get things done while I worked on the book. You are all incredible friends. Thank you.
Finally, I thank Ricki Seidman, whom I worked with during my Supreme Court confirmation process and who has become a precious friend. Ricki tirelessly reviewed multiple revisions of this book and offered thoughtful suggestions that have improved it immeasurably.
A life filled with loving and caring family and friends such as mine is truly blessed.
abuelita:
grandma
aguinaldo:
here, Christmas folk song
ají:
pepper; hot pepper
arroz con gandules:
rice and pigeon peas
Bendición, Abuelita:
Bless me, Grandma; blessing
bisabuela:
great-grandmother
brujería:
witchcraft
burla:
mockery
café con leche:
coffee with milk
chiflado:
literally, crazy, a looney, and used to translate for “stooge” in the title and show
The Three Stooges
china:
orange, as in the fruit
chuletas:
pork chops
como una maldición:
like a curse
Dame un cigarrillo:
Give me a cigarette
despedida:
farewell
Dios te salve, María, llena eres de gracia: El Señor es contigo. Bendito tú eres entre todas las mujeres y bendito es el fruto de tu vientre: Jesús. Santa María, Madre de Dios, ruega por nosotros pecadores, ahora y en la hora de nuestra muerte …
Hail Mary, full of grace: The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among all women and blessed is the fruit of your womb: Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and in the hour of our death …
(from the Roman Catholic “Hail Mary” prayer)
el jurutungo viejo:
the boondocks; the end of the world
el luto:
mourning
embusteros:
liars
“En Mi Viejo San Juan”: “In My Old San Juan.” A bolero written by Puerto Rican composer Noel Estrada in 1943. It is considered by many Puerto Ricans to be a kind of unofficial anthem. It enshrines the narrator’s desire to go back to his longed-for city by the sea, and the melancholy realization that this will never happen.
Es el precio de hacer negocios:
It’s the price of doing business
espera:
wait
espiritismo:
Spiritism
¡Estás loca!:
You’re crazy!
Feliz Navidad:
Merry Christmas
fiambreras:
lidded, stackable dinner pails made of iron or other metal; also, the food that is made elsewhere and delivered in these pails
ficha:
a playing piece; usually refers to dominoes
flamboyán:
flamboyant; also known in the anglophone Caribbean as the flame tree or the Royal Poinciana
grosella:
a small acidic yellow or red berry that grows in backyards, or wild, in Puerto Rico; sometimes known as an Otaheite gooseberry
guagua:
bus
güiro:
musical instrument made from an elongated, hollowed-out gourd with notches on one side, played by rubbing a stick with tines along the notches
jíbaro:
the straw-hatted peasant farmer or laborer who plays a significant role in Puerto Rican culture and identity; the values attributed to this almost mythical figure are being traditional, hardworking, plainspoken, and sagacious
la nata:
cream; also, the skin on milk
la tetita:
the tit; here, to denote the crunchy end of a loaf of Puerto Rican
criollo
bread
lechón asado:
roasted pig
Mercedes chiquita:
little Mercedes
merienda:
midday meal; light lunch; snack
mi’jita:
my dear; honey
Nacimiento:
Nativity scene
nena:
girl
¡No me molestes!:
Don’t bother me!
No tengas miedo:
Don’t be afraid
para:
here, stop
picadillo:
seasoned ground beef
Que Dios te bendiga, te favorezca, y te libre de todo mal y peligro:
May God bless you, favor you, and deliver you from all evil and danger
¡Qué guapo!:
He’s so handsome!
¿Quieres una china?:
Do you want an orange?
quinqué:
country-style oil lamp
recao:
an herb also known as
culantro
, or Thai parsley, which is one of the basic ingredients of the spice mixture known as
sofrito
used in so many Puerto Rican recipes
rosario:
rosary
santos:
saints; here, statues of saints
sebo de flande:
mutton tallow used as a folk remedy for bruises and cuts
sofrito:
seasoning sauce made of tomatoes, chopped peppers, onions, garlic, and
recao
or
culantro
tamarindo:
tamarind
¡Te vas a enfermar!:
You’ll get sick!
tío:
uncle
titi:
a term of endearment for
tía
, or aunt
tostones:
fried green plantain
¿Tú estás ciego?:
Are you blind?
¡Vámonos de parranda!:
Let’s go out caroling!; let’s party!
velada:
séance (although in Puerto Rico, the connotation is more often that of vigil, as for a corpse)
vendedor:
salesman
vivero:
livestock market
Yo soy Celina:
I am Celina
A PUERTO RICO (REGRESO)
To Puerto Rico (I Return)
by José Gautier Benítez
Translated by Lyn Di Iorio
Por fin, corazón, por fin,
alienta con la esperanza,
que entre nubes de carmín
del horizonte al confín,
ya la tierra a ver se alcanza.
Luce la aurora en Oriente
rompiendo pardas neblinas,
y la luz, como un torrente,
se tiende por la ancha frente
de verdísimas colinas.
Ya se va diafanizando
de la mar la espesa bruma;
el buque sigue avanzando,
y va la tierra brotando
como Venus de la espuma.
Y allá sobre el fondo oscuro
que sus montañas le dan,
bajo un cielo hermoso y puro,
cerrada en su blanco muro,
mi bellísimo San Juan.
Y aunque esa ciudad amada,
mis afecciones encierra,
con el alma entusiasmada,
yo no me acuerdo de nada
sino de ver esa tierra.
Perdonadle al desterrado
ese dulce frenesí:
vuelvo a mi mundo adorado,
y yo estoy enamorado
de la tierra en que nací.
Para poder conocerla
es preciso compararla,
de lejos en sueños verla;
y para saber quererla
es necesario dejarla.
¡Oh! no envidie tu belleza,
de otra inmensa población
el poder y la riqueza,
que allí vive la cabeza,
y aquí vive el corazón.
Y si vivir es sentir,
y si vivir es pensar,
yo puedo, patria, decir
que no he dejado vivir
al dejarte de mirar.
Que aunque es templado y suave
no vive, no, en el ambiente
el pez de las ondas nave,
ni entre las ondas el ave,
ni yo, de mi patria ausente.
¡Patria! jardín del mar,
la perla de las Antillas,
¡tengo ganas de llorar!
¡tengo ganas de besar
la arena de tus orillas!
Si entre lágrimas te canto,
patria mía, no te asombres,
porque es de amor ese llanto,
y ese amor es el más santo
de los amores del hombre.
Tuya es la vida que aliento,
es tuya mi inspiración,
es tuyo mi pensamiento,
tuyo todo sentimiento
que brote en mi corazón.
Que haya en ti vida primero,
cuanto ha de fijarse en mí,
y en todo cuanto venero,
y en todo cuanto yo quiero,
hay algo, patria, de ti.
No, nada importa la suerte
si tengo que abandonarte,
que yo sólo aspiro a verte,
a la dicha de quererte
y a la gloria de cantarte.
At last, my heart, at last,
come alive with hope,
for among crimson clouds
from the horizon end to end,
I can already see land.
Dawn rises in the East
shattering dark mists,
and a torrent of light pours
on the wide swath
of the deep green hills.
The veil of thick fog lifts
off the sea;
the ship advances,
and the land begins to rise
like Venus from the foam.
And there on the dark ground
of its mountains,
against a pure and lovely sky,
enclosed by a white wall,
my beautiful San Juan.
And as a cherished city,
it holds all my loves,
and with an enthusiastic soul,
I don’t recall
anything except seeing my homeland.
Forgive the exile
this sweet frenzy:
I return to my beloved world,
in love with the land where I was born.
To know her
you must compare her,
see her distant in your dreams;
and to love her
you need to leave her.
Ah! Do not let your beauty envy
the wealth and power
of another great nation,
because there is where the head lives,
and here is where the heart lives.
And if to live is to feel,
and if to live is to think,
homeland, I can say
that I have not known how to live
since I stopped looking at you.
Though its climate be temperate and soft,
the seafaring fish cannot live in the air,
nor in waves can a bird soar,
nor can I thrive
away from my homeland.
Homeland! Garden of the sea,
pearl of the Antilles,
I feel like crying!
I feel like kissing
the sands of your shores!
If between tears I sing to you,
my land, do not be astonished,
because love is in these tears,
and this love is the holiest
of the loves of man.
Yours is the life that I breathe,
my inspiration is yours,
yours is my thought,
yours all feeling
that blooms in my heart.
My life flows from yours,
and in everything I deem worthy,
and in everything I love,
there is something, my homeland,
that belongs to you.
No, luck doesn’t matter
if I have to leave you,
for I aspire only to see you,
to the good fortune of loving you
and the glory of singing to you.