My Best Friend and My Man (10 page)

—15—

D
EMETRIA

Attraction Principle Number 24:
Every man wants to have sex first; whether he wants a girlfriend is something he thinks about later. By not giving him what he wants up front, you become his girlfriend without him realizing it.

I put the book down and look up at the other members of the book club.

We are all spread throughout Vee’s living room, some of us comfortably plopped on her couch, others perched on dining room chairs. There’s a nice little spread of fried and seasoned salmon patties, Spanish rice, onion-laced green beans, oven-baked rolls dripping with margarine and bowls of pure honey on the side, plus fresh strawberry shortcake with whipped cream for dessert.

“Well,” I say. “Y’all agree with that principle about sex?”

“I wish I’d had known that before I gave some to my man,” says Mia.

“Hey,” Gladys speaks up. “As I see it, if he became your man then you lucked out even though you didn’t hold out.”

“That’s what’s up.” I nod.

“And that’s rare,” Tweetie says, smiling like she’s amazed, “but I definitely think that particular attraction principle is one of the most important ones women need to focus on. From what I hear, most women give it up within a week or two, and sometimes they open their legs on the first date.”

“From what you
hear
?” I ask Tweetie and frown. “You don’t know about quickly giving up the goodies from personal experience?”

“Nope, never, ever,” Tweetie says, still smiling. “I try to get to know a guy first, and we will date for a long time before I’d even considering going to bed with him.”

“Damn, that’s different,” Fonya says sarcastically. “And old-fashioned. But I don’t believe you, Tweet. All women got a freaky side even though you won’t twist your lips to admit it.”

“Fonya,” Gladys cuts in, “if Tweetie says she waits then don’t be trying to slander her. How you know what she does behind closed doors?”

“Because I was behind those closed doors. We used to be roommates, remember? And I’ve heard her wild screams before.” Tweetie looks horrified and jumps across me to place her hand over Fonya’s mouth.

“Fonya, girl,” Tweetie says with hurt cutting her voice. “I can’t believe your big fat mouth. That’s exactly why we aren’t roommates anymore.”

“Like I care,” Fonya snaps after removing Tweetie’s hand off her face. “You can’t tell the truth half the time.”

“And you can’t pay your bills a hundred percent of the time.”

I am the one smiling now. Tweetie rarely shows anger, and it feels great to see her stand up for herself.

“Hold up, Tweetie baby,” I say. “Go sit yourself back down and cool off. Y’all are getting off topic. We’re talking about
Why Men Love Bitches,
not why bitches can’t be roommates. Let’s stick to the book.”

“That’s what I was trying to do, Demetria. I was trying to answer your specific question, but I got attacked. Why can’t we all just get along?” Tweetie asks, frustrated. But then she breaks into her signature smile and holds up two fingers to make the peace sign, her way of restoring order to the meeting and letting bygones be bygones.

“Okay, anyone else have comments about this principle?” I ask. “Vee, you’re very quiet. Speak up, girlfriend. I know you got something to say. She loves this book y’all—she really needs to be moderating this meeting instead of me.”

“Well, I read the book from cover to cover. And I don’t know if it works, but that principle is something that I’d want to try,” Vee says. “Holding out just to see if the man will become my boyfriend.”

“Yeah, I heard it works—I just can’t do it,” I say, giggling. Everyone knows good and well I love to fuck too much to keep my desires locked up for long.

“Good that you’re bringing that up,” Vee says. “’Cause to be honest, Demetria, it seems like you break all the rules and still get everything you want, and I just don’t understand.”

“What you mean? I don’t break all the rules, I go by the rules.”

“Girl, be for real, since when do you follow rules?” Vee says. Her attitude is suddenly so nasty that I actually stand up.

“Let’s take this out of the room,” I instruct my friend. “Sounds like you have something on your mind.”

“Let’s do it,” Vee says, just as arrogantly. The other women become very quiet, but I yell at them, “Y’all continue discussing the book, we’ll be right back.”

Vee follows me to her bedroom. I close and lock her door, turn around and face her with my arms folded under my breasts.

“What the hell’s wrong with you, Vee? Don’t you ever try and loud talk me in front of anybody. I haven’t done anything to you and don’t appreciate you getting nasty with me for no reason.”

Vee flops on her bed and turns her back away from me. She curls her body into a tight ball, and I notice her shoulders shaking.

“Damn, girl, I’m sorry,” I say, touching her on the arm.

“It’s not you,” she wails and hisses.

“If not me, then who?”

“It’s me. I messed up, and I don’t know how to get things right again.”

“Talk to me.” I lay right next to her, grab her and hold her in my arms as if she’s my child.

“I got weak last night,” she sniffs. “I got so weak that I called Seaphes. He didn’t sound happy to hear from me, but he didn’t sound outright rude, either.”

“I told you not to be calling him too much!”

“I know, but it’s over and done with now.”

“Damn, Vee. You letting good advice go to waste. So what happened?”

“He is a different kind of brotha. He started out kinda cold but after we got to talking for a little while, he warmed up and was asking me advice. You know, asking me questions about women. So I was happy at first, thinking he wanted to know what I thought about relationships and cared about my opinions, but ultimately he…” She stops talking and sits up in bed, wiping a few tears. I want to laugh at this girl, so overly dramatic. Men are
not
worth crying over.

“Go ahead, Vee. Ultimately he what?”

“Well, I was trying to play all coy and whatnot, but I must have messed up again, because he had the nerve to ask if I really thought that he and Ursula would make a good couple.”

“Oh no, he didn’t.” I jump up from the bed, cursing up a storm and pacing the bedroom. “That is so rude it’s not even funny. I didn’t know Seaphes had that much game in him. I mean, he sounds like a hard nut to crack, that’s for sure. But baby, don’t despair. He may be hard, but no man is impossible. As far as I’m concerned, you can have him and any other man if you handle this exactly the way I tell you and stop ignoring my good advice.” Veron sniffs and sits up. “Whew, the things women do for love. I wish to God you didn’t care about this prick, but it’s much too late now.” I sigh deeply while trying to get my think on. “You gotta crank things up a whole other notch. You call
me
if you feel like calling him. You gotta
ignore
him, Vee.” She sniffs again, but nods.

Damn, did I actually used to act like this pitiful child? Thank God for transformation, strength, and a haughty attitude, because truly it’s gonna take all three for Veron to get this man where she wants him.

“Okay, I won’t mess up anymore, I swear. From now on I will listen to every single thing you tell me to do, and I will do it no matter what, Demetria. I am tired of feeling foolish and disrespected, so whatever you need me to do let’s do it.” She stands up and wipes her face. I stare at her and she retrieves a comb from her purse and begins prettying herself up like she has it going on. “Mmm hmmm, nobody is worth all this trouble. I don’t know who he thinks he is, but he isn’t the only man on earth.”

“Now ya talking.”

The next day we’re eating lunch in my office. I manage to eat one quarter of my Reuben sandwich and drink two sips of bottled water. Veron offers me some leftover strawberry shortcake, but I decline.

“On a strict diet.”

“What?” she asks. “Since when?”

“Uh, recently.”

“Must be ‘today’ recently because just yesterday you ate two portions of this stuff and tried to get a third, and I wouldn’t let you.”

“And that’s exactly why I’m dieting. I oughta know better. It’s almost summertime, and I wanna make sure I can fit in some fly bikinis. You know I’m supposed to be going on a cruise with Thad.”

“Mmm hmmm,” Vee says, sounding unconvinced. “You haven’t talked about him lately, what’s up?”

“Everything’s cool. He’s busy with his businesses, and I always keep it moving. Like the good book says…”

“The Bible?”

“No, the
Bitch
book, fool. It tells women to always act like you got better things to do.”

“And so you’ve been acting real, real busy right? And has Thad even noticed? ’Cause it seems to me he still running all across the country and hasn’t even invited you to join him.”

I roll my eyes, and luckily, she gets the hint and changes the subject. “Demetria, I passed by Seaphes’s office the other day and couldn’t help notice a picture of a little baby on his desk.”

“Girl, I’ve seen that picture. That baby doesn’t even look like him. Besides, so what if he got kids? That’s a good thing these days…least you know he’s not gay.”

“Well, that’s true,” Vee says. “I’m more worried about him liking Ursula.”

Suddenly, I see the man himself walk past my office with Ursula. I look at my watch—fifteen minutes past one. Just about the time that a lot of people stroll in after lunch break. I run up to my door and continue watching them. They’re headed for the employee lounge. They’re doing it openly. That could be good or bad. If he’s really trying to roll up on her, and he’s the discreet type, he wouldn’t want to be seen walking with her, especially since it’s now going around that office that he’s sweet on her. Or maybe dude likes her so much that he doesn’t care who knows it.

“I have an idea,” I say, returning to my desk. “What’s his cell number? Call him but make the discussion be about work. Try not to mention you and him.”

“And why would I do that? All I want to do is tell him how I feel!”

“No, girl, you need to seem all business like you have no interest in chasing him. These things get kinda tricky, but you train yourself. Do what the
Bitch
book advises.”

“Okay, dang. This is so exciting, but it’s scary, too.”

“Stop wearing your emotions on your sleeve and start acting like you’re Vivica Fox. Act the part and you’ll become the part. So call, go ’head,” I say, picking up her phone and thrusting it in her hand.

“Now?”

“Do it!”

“Okay, okay, okay.”

Veron calmly presses number one on her phone. I whisper, “Put him on speaker.” She does.

Seaphes answers, “What’s up.”

I smile and wink at Vee.

“Hi, Seaphes, what are you up to? How was lunch?” Vee says.

“Hey, how’s it going? Uh, I actually didn’t go today. I may slip out in a little bit.”

Vee pauses. “Oh, that’s too bad. I wanted to talk to you about an important work-related issue. But that’s okay, I’ll find you some other time.” I’m impressed. She really sounds like she’s about to hang up.

“Hmmm,” Seaphes says. “Would you want to come with me? I’m just going to grab some carryout real quick.”

Vee pauses again, like she’s considering. “Sure, that’s cool.”

Seaphes stops. “Well, you don’t have to, Veron. Just thought it might be nice to get outside for a minute.” He sounds kind of distant, but she quickly speaks up. “No, I’d love to come. Meet me by the front door in five?”

“I’ll be there.”

Vee hangs up.

“I’m sooo shocked. You did good, girl. Gotta think on your feet. And it’s great that he is open to seeing you. If he wants to meet you then I think he likes you.”

“Or maybe he did it because Ursula was there, and he’s trying to make her jealous,” Vee says with a frown.

“Whatever the reason, you got your invite. So ride with your man and do your thing.”

—16—

V
ERON

When I get
downstairs, Seaphes is
yapping on his cell. But as soon as he sees me, he quickly ends the call. Every time I envision Seaphes talking to Ursula or even walking down the hall beside her, I can’t help but feel sad and disturbed. It’s going to be hard trying to cloak my feelings.

“Hey, you ready?” he asks. I nod, and we go up to a Nissan Armada and get in.

His ride is very neat and has tan leather interior. Cinnamon air freshener fills my nostrils as soon as I inhale.

“I like your car,” I say.

“Yep, me, too. I’m leasing to own, so we’ll see what happens.” He seems so honest and open—most guys I’ve been with would have bragged that they bought the thing with cash. His honesty makes me want him even more. He’s talking to me and telling me about himself without me having to ask. And I also like how he carefully backs out of his parking space, unlike younger men I’ve dated who make it a point to burn rubber and drive recklessly, as if I’d be impressed with their immature hotdogging.

“So, Seaphes, I’m trying to collect all the registration forms and wanted to know if you’re going on the Walk?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m going, yep, yep. I never did fill out the form though. Will you do it for me?”

“Sure.” I blush.

“Sorry about not paying attention to your deadline. I’ve been kinda busy lately. But I’m making it a point to do this event; I have personal ties to this kind of thing,” he says, looking away. Then he turns to glance at me. “How was your weekend?”

“Oh, mine was very busy. I rarely have a moment to myself. Ripping and running, you know.”

“You got family here?”

I explain that my mom died when I was younger, and I keep in touch with my brother and father mostly during holidays or when family emergencies arise. “But,” I tell him, “my way to relax is through quiet time. I love to read all kinds of things. As a matter of fact, I’m an active member of a book club and we met at my place yesterday. We discussed that book that you’ve seen me with before.”

He has a blank look on his face but says, “Oh, yeah, right. So how was the meeting?”

I cough and clear my throat. “It would have been great if you and some friends could have been there. We were discussing men,” I explain.

“I’ll bet you were.” He grins mischievously and pulls up in the drive-through lane of a Pappas B-B-Q located off a busy intersection. “This joint is always crowded, so we may be in line for a half hour, but that’s cool with me if it’s okay with you. I can just talk to you.”

I try not to grin as I nod. It takes everything inside me not to reach for his hand, which is casually resting in his lap.

“Seaphes, I’m starting to discover that you are so easy to talk to. Why is that?”

“What?” He hunches his shoulders. “I dunno. I didn’t even realize it.”

“That’s another thing. You seem so…I can’t put my finger on it.”

“Are you observing me? Is this a test or something?”

“Oh no, not a test. I’m sorry. I go overboard sometimes analyzing stuff that shouldn’t be analyzed.” I slyly glance at Seaphes. “For example, I get a kick out of examining people’s hands and finding their life lines. May I?”

He shrugs.

I carefully lift his large hand and place it in mine, flipping it face up so I can study the brown, arched lines.

“Ahhh, yes, you have a nice life line. See that extended line that comes all the way here? You’re gonna live a long time.”

“Well, young lady, thanks for telling me. Is it because I don’t let nasty nicotine and pig intestines touch my lips?” he teases. “Or is it because I haul ass and run five miles every morning?”

“Could be all that and more,” I tease back. As much as I want to continue holding his hand, I release it. But I savor the brief warm feeling that it gives me. I manage to turn the conversation back to the Walk America event and listen to him give a funny description of how hard it is to get coworkers to even give a dollar to a worthy cause.

We finally reach the take-out speaker. And sure enough, even though we’re at a barbecue joint, he orders a baked potato with turkey meat.

“You want anything, young lady?”

“That baked potato sounds delicious, but I’m good.”

“That you are,” he tells me, smiling. He drives forward to the next window to pay.

“So,” I continue. “You’re easy to talk to, not half bad looking, yet you have an ex that chose not to continue her life with you. Are you concealing all your bad sides?”

He shrugs. “I don’t think I am. I mean, hey, everyone has skeletons and no one is totally perfect. But I just think my ex and I weren’t meant to be, and I’ve accepted that. I’ve moved on. And I am searching for the right woman who I wanna kick it with outside the bedroom, you know what I mean?”

Oh, God, do I
. His heart is finally being revealed.

“I do know what you mean, Seaphes. But you’d think that it would be easy for a decent employed black male to find a wife. Not just you, but any eligible man,” I say, trying my best to try to keep the conversation general.

“You’d think. I mean I guess I could ask any old body to hook up with me, that part is easy. But finding one that I really connect with, body, mind, soul, and spirit, that takes time, careful consideration. Marriage is a serious thing; even dating is serious as far as I’m concerned.” He’s staring into my eyes, but I make myself break his gaze and giggle.

“So I love to discuss these kinds of things with men. Can you tell me what type of woman you like?”

He looks disappointed for a minute but recovers. I have to remind myself that this is the way I have to do things. It’s so hard; I’m playing completely against my nature.

“Well, she can’t be a dummy, of course. It helps if she’s educated, with common sense, nice looking in the face and body, a woman that has her own thing going instead of totally revolving her life around me. And if we can talk about subjects from A to Z, that’s a plus. I’ve been around whores who—”

“Excuse me?”

“What? You don’t like that word? All chicks aren’t ladies.”

“And most chicks aren’t whores.”

“Believe me, these were. They were only good for one thing. They were beautiful from the neck down but could care less about me as a person. They were just throwing the ass at me, and, hey, I’m a man.”

“So you accepted that type of woman just because she threw herself at you?”

“I was a young thing then, about your age. As long as I wore condoms—which I always have since day one—I didn’t see any harm in wilding out. But it helped me to get to know all kinds of chicks and decide what works for me in the long run.”

“Hmmm,” I say. I sit up as a woman sticks her hands out the window to hand him his order.

“Thank you, ma’am. Have a great day,” he tells her, driving off.

On the way back to work, he makes small talk. But when he turns off his ignition, he turns to face me. “How’s
your
love life?”

“Excuse me?” I ask, sincerely surprised by his question.

“No excuses, I answered your questions. Now you answer mine.”

“But,” I say and squirm uncomfortably in my seat. What would the book say? “Don’t you have to get back upstairs?”

“I got another five minutes to spare. So go on and tell me.”

“Well, I don’t know how to answer.”

“Just do it. What? You getting it on with somebody? Someone at the office?”

I laugh and shake my head. “Mmmm, I don’t want to answer that.”

“So who is he? Anybody I know?”

“Are you teasing me, or are you serious?”

“I’m curious…I’m curious as to why you don’t wanna answer me when I’ve answered everything you’ve wanted to know.”

“Not everything,” I tell him.

“What else you want to know?”

“You…,” I say toying with my hands. “You, uh, got kids?”

“No, why?”

“I noticed a baby seat in the back of your car.”

“Oh, that’s for my toddler nephew, one of the most special guys in the world. We hang out on play dates whenever his schedule allows,” he says and winks. “And when I get a free moment, I ride him around with me showing him all the hot club spots of Houston.”

“I see,” I say, feeling relieved. “Okay, then.”

“Okay nothing. Can you answer my question please?”

Damn. I hate this. What am I supposed say? Do I lie to make myself look good? I don’t think Demetria would be too pleased if I told him he was really my only prospect right now and I spend most weekend nights hanging on my own. I think for a minute.

“Well, all I can tell you is I’m single, no kids, no rings on my finger, but I definitely date.”

“Good, what was so hard about that? Women make things so hard sometimes.”

“I just didn’t expect that question from you. You shock me at times. I can never predict what you’re going to say.”

“Well, get used to that—I’m unpredictable!” And he laughs like it’s a private joke.

When he unlocks the SUV, I’m pleased that he walks around to my side of the vehicle and opens the door. But I want to scream when I see Ursula slowly walking by with her eyes boldly glued on us. Seaphes nods hello at her but continues to focus on me, and Ursula frowns at us and rolls her eyes again. I wonder what he sees in that kind of woman.

“I think someone is not too happy right now,” I murmur once she’s finally gone.

“So? She had her chance.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask.

“Just like it sounds. When a woman clearly isn’t interested in me, I roll out.”

“Ahhh, okay,” I tell him, wondering what exactly happened between them but knowing I couldn’t ask. I’m starting to hate the
Bitch
book.

“Seaphes, forgive me for being presumptuous, but it’s my understanding that men enjoy a woman who’s a challenge.”

“A man always wants what he can’t have. The chase in itself is what’s exciting. But I’m a grown man, and I’m not going to wait around while someone is rude to me and is obviously not going to come around.” I notice that his eyes have left me and are now watching Ursula, who’s in her car and driving slowly past us.

She rolls down her passenger side window. “Hey, Seaphes. C’mere. I need to talk to you for a minute,” she tells him, ignoring me.

“I’m busy right now,” he says, and places his arm around my shoulder to walk me up the stairs of our building.

I remove his hand from my shoulder as soon as we get inside. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you, but please don’t use me to make Ursula jealous. That wasn’t cool,” I say. I hope my taking up for myself is the best thing to do but somehow doubt it.

Seaphes looks taken aback but also weirdly amused. “I wasn’t trying—”

“Now, Seaphes, don’t deny it. Would you have put your arm around me if she hadn’t been there?” He blushes. “I thought so. Thanks for being true to your unpredictable side,” I tell him and briskly walk away.

“Hey,” he says, but I ignore him, trying to respect myself.

I’m shaking once I get far away from him. Damn. Why does doing the right thing sometimes feel so wrong? I shouldn’t have let him know that that incident upset me. But I’m not gonna stand there while he pulls some crap like that, no matter what the damn book says.