Read My Big Nose and Other Natural Disasters Online
Authors: Sydney Salter
"Come on, guys." Hannah waved a Little Bo Peep staff at us. "Isn't this sweet?"
"Well, I'm certainly not going to herd sheep." I pushed up my boobs. "I'm herding men," I said in a low, sexy voice.
Megan burst out laughing. Hannah blushed. We finally convinced Hannah to wear a slinky red nightie after assuring her that José wouldn't get the wrong idea even though it was Wooster colors, and besides the yearbook doesn't come out until June and we're sure your future husband won't mind, and, of course, you can hide it from your future kids.
The photographer arranged us with guns, cards, cash, and fake bottles of booze. I sat on the bar with one leg dangling over the other, a spiky shoe hanging off my front toes. Megan stood sideways to my right, glancing over her shoulder, her long hair draped around her. Hannah insisted on leaning behind the bar to my left, for modesty reasons. I don't think she had any idea what that did for her ample cleavage. The photographer put a frilly showgirl headdress on her and stepped over to the camera.
"Ready? One, two, three."
I looked straight into the camera and smiled.
Big bouquets to my agent, Ted Malawer, and to my editor, Julie Tibbott.
Warm pie and coffee to my writing group, especially Kelley and Susan.
Dozens and dozens of cupcakes to my dad, David, stepmom, Stephanie, brother, Ethan, and sister-in-law, Colleen, with extra sprinkles to my daughters, Emma and Sophie.
A tiered wedding cake to my husband, Mike. Thanks for always believing.
And finally, a charm bracelet to my mom, Rondi, who always burns the cookies but provides endless inspiration and source material.
SYDNEY SALTER held a variety of jobs before becoming a full-time writer, including a brief stint delivering pies and flowers, wrecking vans, and destroying wedding cakes in Reno, Nevada. Sydney now lives in Utah with her husband, two daughters, two cats, and two big Bernese Mountain dogs. She loves reading, writing, traveling, and, of course, baking and decorating cakes (but not driving them anywhere).