My Butterfly (22 page)

“They said that it knocked you out, and your wrist…,” she started, her eyes falling to the cast on my arm.

“Yeah, it’s broken, but it should heal pretty fast,” I said.

I watched as she tried to force a smile.

“Listen,” I said, “I’m really sorry that you had to drive all this way. It’s stupid. I’m fine. And it’s stupid that I even have you on the list. You were just the first person I thought of. It was a while ago, out of habit, I guess,” I lied, “and you never expect to ever have to need that list…”

“Will, stop,” she said and then rested her hand on my good arm. “I’m just happy that you’re okay. You could’ve been…”

I met her gaze.

“But I wasn’t,” I said.

I rested my eyes in hers and took a deep breath, then slowly let it out. Moments passed before either one of us spoke.

“The nurse said that you were wearing this when you came in,” she eventually said, opening her palm up to me.

Inside, was the silver pin with the angel pulling up the firefighter. I took it from her hand. My eyes traced every line that made up the metal pin, trying to recall, first, the moments that led to my fall, and second, the percentage of good men and women who didn’t make it past a fall like that. And after a minute, I looked back up to find Julia’s eyes clouding with tears.

“Jules,” I said, trying to reach for her but getting pulled back by the IVs still attached to me. “I wear it all the time. I’m here because of it. I’m fine because of it.”

My eyes followed over the sad lines in her face.

“Come here,” I said then, gesturing her closer to me.

I scooted over as much as I could in the tiny bed and used my good arm to pat the small space on the mattress I had just made for her.

She seemed to hesitate at first, but then eventually, she climbed onto the bed and nuzzled into the small place between my chest and the bed’s railing. I wrapped my good arm around her shoulder and brought my hand, still cradling the pin, to rest on her opposite arm. I could tell that she was a little reluctant to rest her head on my chest, but she did it anyway, as I squeezed her still closer to me and smiled.

“I’m not keepin’ ya from any big plans tonight, am I?” I asked.

I heard her laugh once and then felt her head move back and forth.

I smiled wider and then rested my cheek on her head.

“I’d offer you something to drink, but the drink selection in here is awful, and the service isn’t much better,” I whispered into her ear.

She laughed that pretty laugh of hers again.

“That’s okay,” she said. “I’m hitting up another hospital after this, and it’s supposed to be like five stars or something AND have live entertainment.”

I raised my head up from hers.

“Live entertainment, huh?” I asked her.

“Mm hmm,” she said, nodding into my chest.

One side of my mouth started to lift into a grin.

“Baby, you’re not going anywhere else tonight because this place might be lacking in other areas, but it is definitely not lacking in the entertainment department.”

She giggled.

“I got songs—lots of songs,” I continued. “What do you want to hear?”

I heard her mumble something, but I couldn’t quite make it out.

“Hmm?” I asked, lowering my ear closer to her lips.

“‘Brown Eyed Girl,’” she said, a little clearer.

“Oh,” I said, smiling. “You mean ‘Green Eyed Girl’?”

I felt her playfully tap my chest with her hand. And I brought my cheek to rest on her head again. It felt so good for her to be next to me. I squeezed her still closer to my body and breathed in the sweet smell of her hair.

It sure wasn’t my intention to fall through a ceiling and down a story, but it sure wasn’t ending that badly either.

“‘Green Eyed Girl’ it is,” I softly said, as I smiled wide and made sure to keep my thoughts to myself.

Breakfast

I
opened my eyes to white ceiling tiles and what sounded like a loose wheel on some type of cart or something rambling past the room. I closed my eyes again and tried to recall how I had gotten there. There was a call, a fire and then...there was Julia. My eyes shot open. She was still asleep on my chest, and my arm was still around her. I tried to rest my hand on her arm, but I couldn’t feel my hand. It must have fallen asleep. My eyes darted back to her face as I watched her nuzzle her head deeper into my chest. I froze then and became conscious of my every movement out of fear that the slightest flinch would wake her. I couldn’t help but want to watch her sleep. She looked so peaceful. She always looked peaceful when she slept, and while I wasn’t quite convinced that this would be the last time I would ever get this moment—to watch her dream—I had learned something yesterday—that no moment was guaranteed.

I caught her head move again, and then I noticed her eyes flutter open. I quickly forced my eyelids over my eyes again and pretended to be asleep.

She was still for a few more seconds, but then she quickly sat up. I peeked out of one eye and saw her reaching for something on the floor. It looked as if it might be her shoes maybe. Where was she going?

“Good morning, sunshine,” I said, pretending to wake up.

I stretched my good arm toward the ceiling and started to sit up but then fell back with a groan.

“God, what happened to me?” I asked, faintly smiling.

Her face angled back toward mine.

“You’d think I had fallen through a burning building or something,” I continued.

She laughed once.

“Careful there, Spider-Man. You’re probably going to be a little sore,” she said, as she sent a smile my way and then went back to putting on her shoes.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“I am going to get us some breakfast,” she said, in a way that made it sound as if it were an announcement.

She paused for a moment, glanced back at me again and then softy smiled. It didn’t seem like a happy smile.

“And then, I’ve got to get home,” she said.

My heart sank, but I forced a smile anyway.

“This hospital bed not homey enough for you?” I asked.

Her lips started to edge up her face just a little more, as she sarcastically batted her eyelashes at me.

“You have bed head,” she said then, snickering.

I playfully narrowed my eyes but then smiled as I noticed the long second that her gaze lingered in mine.

“There’s a doughnut shop across the street,” she said, eventually dropping her eyes from mine and then grabbing her purse from a table at the foot of the bed.

I watched her make her way to the door, but before she disappeared behind the curtain, she stopped and turned toward me.

“Chocolate Long Johns with sprinkles?” she asked.

I flashed her a wide smile, which I guessed was all the confirmation she needed because she turned then and escaped past the tall curtain and out of the room.

I waited for almost a minute, staring at the door, just in case she had forgotten something and popped back in. Then, my eyes darted toward the television at the front of the room. I had to strain my neck a little in order to see my reflection in its black screen and even then, I was still just a shadowy outline. But it would have to do. I quickly ran my fingers through my hair, then suddenly, I felt a muscle in my back pull tight, and it made me flinch. I groaned and then returned to the same position on the bed in which I had been for the last twelve hours or so and raked over my hair one, last time.

After I had done the best I could with my bed head or whatever she liked to call it when my hair spiked up every which way, I spotted a glass of water on the table next to my bed. I picked it up, took a big swig and swished it around my mouth. Then, I looked around the room for anything that resembled toothpaste or a toothbrush. Nothing. My eyes eventually landed on a small bouquet of flowers on the little table. I guessed they were mine. Could I eat a flower? Would that even help? Thankfully, I spotted a bag of mint chocolate candies next to the vase and scooped it up. I popped a couple of the chocolates into my mouth and chewed them. Then, I took another big swig of water and set the glass back down.

The room was quiet and still without Jules in it. My eyes began a slow scan of the space around me. There was a window to my right, and there was a little sliver of light pouring through it. But the only view out of it and to the world was the empty side of a red, brick building. Besides that, there was a chair near the window, a small table at the foot of the bed, the television and then a trash can near the big curtain to my left, but that was it.

I let out a breath of air, as my eyes lowered to my hands again. And just then, I got an idea. I quickly rolled the candy wrappers into tiny balls. Then, I sent them, one at a time, flying toward the trash can across the room. But I missed both times, and both times, the foiled paper rolled to a final resting place on the tiles near the basket. I sighed and then looked around the room for something else to do to kill the time until Julia returned. Besides the few standard things, the tiny place was empty and mostly dark, and the air smelled kind of stale. I was happy that I hadn’t had to spend the night alone in it.

My mind got stuck on that thought, as I replayed in my head waking up next to Jules. I wasn’t sure how many more buildings I could fall through and still be all right, but if that were all it took to get Julia Lang next to me again, I also wasn’t sure I’d think twice about doing something stupid the next time.

I heard the loose wheel on that cart again outside the room. It sounded as if it slowed when it reached my door and then continued on. When I couldn’t hear the sound of the wheel any longer, my gaze fell to the white sheets that were turned every which way at my feet. Then suddenly, a shiny object near the middle of the bed caught my eye. It was the guardian angel. I cautiously reached for it, being conscious of my sore back. Then, when I was close enough to touch it, I clasped my fingers around it and brought it close to my heart. And after several seconds, I rested my head back against my pillow and stared up at the white tiles, until eventually, my eyelids fell over my eyes.

“Two chocolate Long Johns with sprinkles and some milk.”

Startled, I forced my eyes open. Then, I watched Jules make her way over to my bedside and set a paper bag and a small container of milk into my lap.

I smiled.

“Thanks, dear,” I said, grabbing at the top of the bag.

I stole a quick glance at her. She was staring at me sideways, just as I had suspected she would be. I watched her eyes do that playful, sarcastic thing, which drove me wild, and I held out for what I knew was coming next. Wait for it. Wait for it. There it was—a smile.

“I mean Jules,” I said, finally.

I went back to rummaging through the doughnuts in the bag as she took a seat on the bed next to my midsection and faced me.

“So, how long do you have to be here anyway?” she asked.

“Uh, I think they’ll let me go today,” I said, starting to grin. “I’m pretty sure they were just waiting to make sure nothing else was wrong with me.”

She slowly nodded her head.

“Good,” she said, through a soft smile.

I watched her then, as she lowered her eyes and reached her hand into her purse. Her hair was pulled together, and it sat in a pile near the top of her head. It looked kind of messy, but it had always been my favorite look on her.

She eventually found what she had been looking for in
side her purse, I guessed, because she pulled out a short stick and smeared its contents onto her lips.

“Jules,” I finally said, setting the bag of doughnuts and the milk onto the bed beside me.

She lowered the Chap Stick from her lips and met my eyes.

“Thank you,” I said.

I rested my hand on hers. Her eyes darted toward my hand, but she didn’t move.

“I lied last night,” I said.

I watched her head tilt a little to the side, as if she might be interested in what I had to say.

“I didn’t just put you as my emergency contact out of habit,” I went on. “I did it because…”

“Where is that lucky bastard?” I suddenly heard a familiar voice come from behind the curtain. “Better be decent. I brought your girl.”

My eyes rushed toward the door, and within seconds, the curtain flew open, revealing a tall, lanky guy and a petite brunette. Almost at the same time, I felt Julia’s hand quickly escape from underneath mine, and before I knew it, she was standing at the bedside, fidgeting with the hair on top of her head.

“Oh, hey, Julia,” Jeff said, stopping short and staring at her with big eyes.

Julia looked up for an instant and bashfully smiled at him.

“I didn’t know you had company,” Jeff said, meeting my stare.

I didn’t say anything. I just stared back at him with a defeated expression. And after a moment, he swallowed hard and carried on.

“Well, you dead yet, buddy?” he asked.