My Dark Duke (27 page)

Her words seemed to linger in the air between them, and the silence that followed was so complete that she heard his breathing stop. Oh God. What was he thinking? Her heartbeat sped up and she felt her palms prickle with perspiration.

Alethea jumped when James caught her hand and spun her around to face him. When she saw the look on his face, she gasped. He was pale, torment and fear swirling in the depths of his dark eyes. His mouth was thinly drawn and his breathing was fast and shallow. His grasp on her shoulders was painfully tight, his distress so deep he appeared not to notice he was hurting her.

‘Alethea!' he said, his voice low and filled with desperation. ‘I swear to you, on everything I hold dear, on my mother's grave, that I did not visit her. I have not touched or even desired another woman since our wedding day. Please,' he pleaded, his voice breaking, ‘please, tell me what I have to do to convince you that I am telling you the truth.'

Unable to bear his suffering a moment longer, Alethea reached up and cupped his face in her hands. ‘James, you don't have to do anything. I believe you.'

He didn't seem to hear her, his eyes wild as he tried to think of what proof he could offer her. ‘You can ask the servants,' he said, his words tumbling over each other in his haste to speak. ‘I don't know how she knew about the cut on my hand. But if you ask the servants they will tell you that I always drank alone, that more often than not they would find me in the study the next morning —'

‘James, hush. Hush, my love,' she whispered, moving closer and placing her fingers on his lips. Her heart broke at the picture he had just painted. They had both suffered so much. But it was all in the past. There would be no more misunderstandings. ‘I believe you.'

The duke stared at her uncomprehendingly. ‘I . . . don't understand,' he said slowly.

‘I believe you. I know you did not see her.' She smoothed his hair back from his temples.

‘But why? Why do you believe me?' She suddenly realised that his body was trembling against hers.

‘I trust you,' she said simply. ‘I know you would not break your marriage vows. You told me you would not.'

He shook his head, eyes filled with confusion. ‘I still don't understand.' It was obvious that he had never known what it was like to trust a woman. How could he, after what he had experienced with his first wife?

‘You will, in time.' She would make sure of it. ‘All you need to know is that I love you, and that I shall always love you.'

He swallowed, his throat working with emotion. ‘It is true then? You did not leave me?'

Alethea smiled up at him, allowing the love she felt for him to be reflected in her face. ‘I will never leave you. I am very much afraid,' she continued softly, sliding her arms about his neck, ‘you have no other alternative but to put up with me for the rest of our lives. I will not hear of any objections.'

James slowly put his arms around her, his hands warming her back through the thin batiste of her nightdress. Contentment filled her as she rested her head on his chest.
This
was where she belonged.

His rapid heartbeat started to slow from its frantic pace. ‘I have no objections,' he finally replied, his voice unsteady, ‘as long as you have no objections to putting up with me.'

‘None whatsoever.' She tilted her head back to look at him. A bittersweet ache resonated within her at the tentativeness of his gaze, as if he couldn't quite believe that she was in his arms. That she was indeed his, and his alone. Alethea stood up on tiptoe and pressed her lips softly to his. James responded in kind, his kiss gentle and reverent. His arms tightened about her, holding her close to him. After a long moment, she pulled away. ‘I have something to tell you.'

His eyes searched her face. ‘What is it?' His body was tense against hers, as if he was bracing himself for further unsavoury news.

‘You are going to be a father.'

The duke stared blankly at her. An endless moment passed. And then, ‘I beg your pardon?' He enunciated each word carefully.

She stepped back, making a little space between them, then took his hand and placed it low on her abdomen. ‘I'm carrying our child.'

His eyes fell to where his hand lay. There was a long pause as his mind tried to process what she had just told him. ‘Alethea,' he whispered hoarsely. ‘A babe? You are pregnant?' James's hand trembled and when he lifted his eyes, she saw that they were filled with tears and so much joy that she felt her throat thicken with emotion.

‘Yes. Cole tells me that the babe is due at the start of autumn.'

He looked startled. ‘In September? But that is only five months away.'

‘Yes. Apparently I am one of those women whose body continues to function as if it were not pregnant. That is why I never suspected a thing.' Concerned at the paleness of his complexion, she took his hand and tugged him in the direction of the chaise that sat near the fireplace. ‘Come, sit. You must be exhausted.'

He sat down, but when she made to sit next to him, he pulled her onto his lap, cursing under his breath when his hand touched her legs. ‘Damnation, I am a wretched husband, making you stand about in nothing but your nightdress. Martha!' he called out.

When the maid appeared, he told her to bring him a blanket and also to send up some hot chocolate and food.

‘We will not be leaving today then, Your Grace?' asked Martha.

‘No. I have been riding since yesterday evening and I am in no mood to travel. We will stay until I' – he paused, glancing at his wife –'until Her Grace decides she is ready to leave.'

Alethea felt happiness warm her at the consideration James was showing. She knew it was an effort for a man who had never in his life had to consult another before making a decision.

After the maid left, he drew the blanket more tightly around her shoulders and looked up at his duchess. ‘You are well, Alethea? The babe has not made you feel ill?'

She smiled at him. ‘I am very well. Ridiculously so, in fact. I think I surprised Cole when he examined me. I am eating too much, though. Mother actually told the footman to stop serving me after I had my third serve of lemon pudding.'

James frowned. ‘That is ridiculous. You need to sustain yourself and our child. I shall inform Mrs Tilford that I wish you to have whatever you desire, and in whatever amount you desire.'

Alethea grinned at the familiar imperiousness in his voice. ‘If you do so, you might very well find yourself married to a whale in a month's time.'

He arched his brow, the faintest smile appearing on his face. ‘Even if you looked like a whale, which I wager is an impossibility, I promise I will still want to bed you, all the time, anywhere I can.'

She felt her cheeks burn. ‘James!' she scolded, shaking her head at his language, even though she was inwardly pleased. She cocked her head to one side, studying him. Heavens, he was magnificent, even in his muddied, wind-tossed state. She wondered if their child was going to resemble him or her. This wondrous miracle that was both a part of him and a part of her. ‘Are you truly pleased, about the babe?'

He gave her a smile. ‘Pleased is not the word I would use. Unimaginable joy would be closer to the truth, although that doesn't remotely approach what I feel.'

‘Oh,' she whispered, feeling her heart swell. It was true. Happiness shone from his eyes. And yet, there was something in them that gave her pause. Something unfathomable. ‘James, what is it? Something is bothering you.'

‘It is nothing.' But a shadow crossed his face and he looked down.

‘Whatever it is, you can tell me.' Truth be told, trepidation had come upon her, and she wondered what terrible thing it could be to have affected a wonderful moment such as the announcement of her pregnancy.

He was silent for a long while and she had given up hope that he would reply, when he spoke. ‘Catherine was pregnant when she died.'

Alethea stopped breathing.

‘I don't know what rumours you have heard. They are mostly true. She acted with disregard to her reputation, to my reputation.' His voice was without inflection and his face was impassive. ‘There were many men. I was the ultimate cuckold, even leaving town so that I would not have to endure the pitying looks. I was young and she broke my heart.'

Alethea bit her lip so hard that she could taste the coppery tang of blood. But she kept silent. And she forced herself to keep still, although every fibre of her being ached to take him in her arms and tell him that he would never be hurt again.

‘After yet another argument, she fled to her father's house. I wanted nothing more to do with her, but I needed an heir. So I went after her and told her that I would give her one last chance. All she had to do was restrain herself long enough to bear me a son, and then she would be free to do as she wished. She laughed in my face and told me that she was already pregnant. That the child was mine because she had taken . . . precautions with the others.' He raised his eyes to hers and she almost cried out at the torment within them. ‘She had visited me a number of times and I had turned her away each time. Then two months previously when she had come to me, I gave in, in a moment of weakness.'

Alethea swallowed hard.

He paused for a moment before continuing, as if trying to build up the courage to speak about the next part. ‘When she told me she was with child, I didn't know what to think or do. So I ordered her to come home with me. She was to stay until the confinement was over. She refused and started screaming insults at me, accusing me of dreadful things. When I refused to be drawn into an argument, she started to throw objects at me and I went to restrain her. I was worried she was going to harm herself and the child. But she evaded me and then she was on the window ledge in an instant. I begged her to come down, I said I would do anything if she would just . . .' His voice broke.

Alethea reached down blindly to take his hand. It was deathly cold and she put both her hands around it, holding it tightly.

‘She merely gave me a triumphant look as if she had somehow won the argument. She told me I should not have ignored her and that I was going to pay the price for refusing her, for humiliating her. I have never seen such hatred. She didn't even give me a chance to reply before she jumped.' His voice was a mere whisper.

‘
James
.' She reached out to him and he leaned his head on her chest, his breaths shallow and rapid. She held him fiercely to her, wishing with all her might that she could erase that part of his life.

It was a long time before he straightened, his eyes filled with regret and lingering sorrow. ‘I am sorry. I should not have acted so rashly in telling you of my past. I have distressed you.'

‘Oh my love, you need not apologise. I just wish I could have been there to comfort you. I am the one who is sorry. I never dreamt . . .' She bit her lip, stopping herself. She had never thought James had caused his first wife's death, but the truth of her suicide shook Alethea to the very core. She wanted to hate the woman who had caused such pain to her beloved, but instead, a wave of pity washed over her, for her husband, for Catherine, for the poor little babe. ‘It was not your fault that any of that happened. She must have been so very tormented to have committed such a deed. I cannot think she would do such a thing if she had been thinking rationally. You do not blame yourself, do you?' she asked, looking anxiously at him.

His returning gaze was sombre. ‘I did, for a long time. But Cole finally brought me to my senses. He was of the same opinion as you. I should have seen how disturbed Catherine was. But I was consumed with so much hate and anger about her infidelities.' His eyes softened as he looked upon her face. ‘Darling, please do not be concerned. I promise that I have recovered from that dark period. From now on, I vow there will be no more darkness. Only happiness and light. For I have you and our child.' The look on his face was so tender that Alethea felt her chest tighten.

James put his hand on the nape of her neck and drew her to him for a kiss. It was long and slow and filled with love. As they kissed, a thought came to her and she could not help smiling against his lips.

The duke broke off their kiss and gave her a questioning look. ‘What is it?'

She gave a happy sigh. ‘Whoever would have thought that falling upon the Dark Duke would turn out to be the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me?'

He laughed softly and joy filled her heart to see the last traces of sadness leave his eyes.

‘So, thank you, my love, for rescuing me.'

He shook his head, mouth still curved in a smile. ‘Thank
you
for agreeing to be my wife.'

‘You are welcome. It is, and always will be, my pleasure to be your wife.' She smiled at him, inordinately pleased to see that he resembled his usual self again.

‘Good.' His tone was filled with satisfaction and more than a touch of arrogance. Yes, her duke was back. ‘At the risk of casting doubt on my manhood and virility, I am afraid the pleasure will have to come later. I need a bath, some breakfast and a few hours of sleep, in that order.' He gave her a brief kiss. ‘In the meantime, you, my duchess, should start thinking of an excuse why we will not be joining your family for dinner this evening.'

‘Goodness me, whatever will Mother say?' teased Alethea, climbing off her husband's lap and opening the door to call the footman. One appeared and Alethea gave him instructions to draw a bath and to bring up some food.

‘Your mother may say anything she wishes.' James stripped off his clothes with ruthless efficiency while Alethea sank back down onto the chaise, the better to revel in the delicious view which was currently unfolding before her. ‘She could discuss my rod and your womanhood for all I care.'

At that, the duchess was unable to avoid emitting a very unladylike snort of laughter. ‘Well, that would be an interesting dinner conversation indeed, as I believe the vicar and his wife are our guests this evening.'