My Favorite Distraction (Distraction #1) (15 page)

“Is that why you kept your membership?”

He just looked at me and raised his eyebrow, not willing to answer the question.

“When I was younger there was this girl.  I was in a terrible
place and she gave me advice.  It was simple and I followed it. She told me to pretend.” His piercing stare was trying to tell me something, willing me to read his thoughts.  “I was young and thought that my life and the people around me were invincible.  The truth is, you have no control over the end of your life. The control happens during, so I...” his eyes intent on mine. I couldn’t help but think this had to do with the girl Bettina mentioned, in the elevator.  He continued, “pretended to have total control over life, not focusing on the end part. It worked until about a few years ago and I was a pretty solid asshole by then.  The pretending was easy and controlling others came naturally, but the constant need to pretend, this is who I was, started slipping.”  I busied myself at the table moving his beer to the center of the cocktail napkin, wiping the drops of water with another napkin.  All the pretending talk, and the way he looked at me like he knew who I really was, had my body shaking and my heart beating fast.  He grabbed my hand, calming my movements, causing me to look up and stare blindly into his eyes.

“The advice to pretend, that’s great advice.  The girl, whoever she was, sounds like she understood your pain.” I
was prompting him to open up and talk about the girl, but he was silent. He just peered at me through his fingers, so I dropped it.  Bettina had mentioned that the girl had died. It didn’t take long to piece the puzzle together and figure it out; this was the source of his anger.

“Why did you stop
? I mean, if you loved all of it, if you were a sex god?”

He looked at me as if it were obvious.
“I saw you before you bought me the coffee. I asked if I could sit with you.”

I shrugged
, not remembering.

“You didn’t even see me, didn’t say anything to me. It was like I didn’t exist. You packed up your stuff and left. I watched you after that
. I would get there early and watch. You would come in, wave at the owner, and take the same booth, but before you would get comfortable, you would clear the table, getting rid of the napkins and menus so it was only you and the table. I would sometimes open the door for you, and you would thank me, but never look at me. I became better because I wanted you to see me.”

I looked at him in amazement.

“The first day you smiled at me, I saw light. My older sister had me in treatment before I could finish talking about you.”

“Wow
, I am impressed.” I smiled. “You didn’t talk to me for three months, and you felt this way about me.” I smiled, feeling powerful from everything he was sharing, but getting a feeling he was leaving an important part out.

“Honestly, I woke up every day just to go to the coffeehouse.” He leaned over and kissed m
y soft lips slowly and tenderly. I loved that kiss.

“I came back to the club the night I told you
, before you bought me the coffee. It was hard for me to be here. I called her to make amends, and agreed to meet her here.  She was humiliated that night. Your friend’s boyfriend, ‘Red,’ fucked her in front of everyone and when he finished he called her trash. I thought he was an asshole for what he did to her. I cared for her and feared for her safety, and I took her home. She had Bo still, even though I took him everywhere with me. I would pick him up in the mornings and drop him off at night after work. I didn’t want her to be alone. When I got there, she was trying really hard to make me angry. She walked over to Bo and began kicking him. Bo was already scared of her, and she was kicking him. I lost it and called the police. It was still my place she lived in, so they came and took her away. Like I said, her brother was pissed at me, but he’s a good guy. I just looked at him and saw what I didn’t want from my life anymore. I apologized to him, and to her, that night, and I am not sure how, but she nabbed my wallet, which did make me mad, furious even. I was so angry that day in the coffee shop, and I turned around and saw you slip out the door. I thought I had scared you, but the owner said you bought me a coffee.” I could see tears in his eyes, but he choked them back and kissed my head. “Thank you for that.”

“You know what I think?”

He shook his head
, looking curious.

“I think you need an active hobby to replace all of this.”

He smiled a wicked smile.

“I am serious
. I think I know the perfect thing. Do you trust me? It’s nothing that you will get hurt at, I promise, but if you were ten years younger, I might have suggested the UFC with your aggressive tendencies and your passion for ‘disciplining.’”

He pulled me
close and laughed in my ear. I closed my eyes at the sound, and he hugged me tight.

“I will try anything with you.” His voice
was soft, like his               heart was talking.

“You can be really sweet
, you know that?”

He laughed again and started to ease out of the booth.

“Are we leaving?” I was surprised.

“Yep
, I am ready to leave.” He looked around at all the skimpily dressed people, and I hit his arm. He just smiled a beautiful smile.

“So, no table sex?”

He just laughed again.

“
Is it OK later, when we are having sex, that I picture you doing all that marking you talked about?”

His smile
didn’t falter, as he leaned in to whisper, “As long as you’re with me and it is me you are thinking about, you can imagine anything you want.” He kissed me, and I giggled.

We left the club hand in hand. I noticed strange looks from mainly the women, and I thought briefly of how many of those women Jason had been intimate with. He must have sensed something because he suddenly pulled me close and began kissing me. He tasted so good. I couldn’t get enough of him, couldn’t get close enough to him. I lifted my leg and wrapped it around his waist, the heel of my shoe poking him in the lower back. He groaned in my mouth. I felt his kiss become more demanding, and I didn’t want it to stop ever. I wanted more than anything to be connected like this forever. After a long while, he pulled away and licked his lips. He reached up and ran his thumb over my bottom lip. It gave me chills.

“You are so fucking perfect.”

I looked straight in his eyes and saw love. I tried not to look away, but I started to shake. I lowered my leg to the ground, and he gently took my hand. I followed him to the elevator. People still watched us, but I looked only at my feet.

We got in the elevator
, and Jason pulled me close and held me tight. We didn’t talk. I just enjoyed the feel of his warm body and the smell of his cologne. He smelled so good I wanted to eat him. I licked my lips and ran my tongue over my teeth at the thought.

We left the elevator in silence
. He was still holding my hand and leading the way. I started to speak, thinking about the girl who took me hours earlier.

“She is very pretty.” It was a statement
, one he didn’t respond to. We reached the Jeep, and he opened my door. I continued to talk even though I could tell he didn’t want to at all. “What is going to happen with her?”

He put his hands on my hips to lift me in
to the car, and his eyes looked into mine. I could see he was calculating how much to say.

“I can’t tell if you are worried or curious about her.”

I shrugged, and he put me in the Jeep. “Both, I think. She is convinced you still love her.” I knew I was delirious when it came to pity for others and if I was completely honest with myself I was overly compassionate for a girl who drugged and kidnapped me, but I couldn’t help it. I felt bad for others. I held so much empathy for other because I could never feel any for myself. I was numb, and never
the
victim, the people around me
they
were victims, and I was hypersensitive to it. A superpower or a curse…you decide.

Jason
walked around the front of the car and got in. He backed out and started driving before he started talking.

“
When I got the phone call telling me where you were and who brought you, I called Alex. Alex was a member of the club for years before he became a judge. Now he is much more private. I asked him to meet me there. I’m done being nice to Bettina, and I knew Alex would scare the crap out of her. We documented everything that happened. Her friend told us how she drugged you and then abducted you. Bettina admitted her plan was to get my attention. After it was all written down, they signed it, and Alex kept it. If she touches a hair on your head again, she will spend time in jail for sure. Her brother and I were good friends, and he agreed to get her help. She is banned from the club until she gets it. Right now she is staying with him. I think he is looking into treatment facilities.”

I was watching him calmly tell me this story as if it were someone else’s ex-girlfriend
whom he never cared about. I heard the cold and callous way he spoke when talking about her. It made me sad for him. I could see he had been hurt so much by her he was hardened toward her. To remove the bitter air in the car, I tried to change the subject.

“So Alex is a judge?”

He glanced over, a smile softening his hard face, and raised his eyebrow. “Yes, the youngest judge in California. His parents were judges, and that’s all he ever wanted to be. Alex is a good friend, one that I can always count on. Do you wish you would have handled things a little differently at the bar now?” His smile was mischievous, like he knew the answer already.

“No, actually
, I think I would have only said worse things. Like…I want to speak to my attorney before talking with you.” I smiled. He just shook his head and laughed.

“It’s not like he was reading you the
Miranda
rights. He was flirting with you.”

To me at the time
, it was equivalent, but whatever.

“What about the bartender and the big Vin Diesel
–looking guy? Are they friends too?”

“Those are the guys I miss the most
. The bartender is a police detective, and Trevin, the bouncer, is a linebacker for college football. Yeah, they’re who I trust the most at the club.

“I looked for you at the sports bar and was worried when I couldn’t find you.” He ran his fingers through his hair and stared out the front of the car as he drove. “I am sorry I was a complete asshole earlier
. I am not quite sure how to handle you.”

There was a long pause
. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t think he was done.

“I thought you left on your own
and you were gone. When I got the phone call, I was already in my Jeep headed to your apartment. I thought you were playing games with me, and I am so sick of games. I wanted to make sure you got home OK and told myself it was over. When I saw you sitting at the club, I realized something. Just looking at you calmed me. I was so furious I would have fought everyone in that bar, but just seeing you there, I relaxed immediately.” He was quiet, trying to gather his thoughts. “I am not sure I can ever walk away from you.” He swallowed and continued talking. “I am more scared of being without you than anything else. When I walked around the bar at the club and you saw me for the first time, that look in your eye…I crave that look from you.”

He never turned to look at me
. I could tell this was exposing something about himself. He didn’t want me to see his eyes.

“I like how you make me feel
, and I like how I feel when I see you. It’s like I am floating. I mean it when I say you are my favorite person.” I gazed out the side window after I said it, exposing myself a little. “There are things you don’t know about me, things I don’t want to talk about. I know I can’t stay here forever, as much as I want to. I eventually have to go home. I don’t want to hurt you when I do.” I was a Covington, with that family name came responsibilities.  Already, I was gone longer than I had ever been gone. So I knew my days of hiding were numbered. It was a matter of time before they would find me and force me to return or I would go back willingly. Either way, I was a spoiled little rich girl, and Jason had no place in my world. I knew from experience that people without money hated people with money or worse, it was the sole reason they liked them. I peered at him through my lashes, and he pulled the Jeep over to the side of the road. He turned to me. I began to shiver, but didn’t turn away from his eyes.

“I just ask that you never leave me without saying good
-bye.” He brought my hand to his lips and kissed me. His gaze was intense, the most intense I had seen. “
Please
, don’t leave without saying good-bye, promise.”

I
nodded my head yes and felt a tear run down my cheek.

“There was so much darkness before you.
I can’t go back to that.” He shook his head, clearing his thoughts. “So until you leave, you are my angel.”

I th
ought I heard him say, “my light,” but his voice was so quiet. He leaned over and wiped away my tears. I felt my body respond to his touch, and I smiled at him, a goofy smile. He turned back in his seat and drove home. Nothing else was said.

* * * *

When we got back to Jason’s house, the clock next to his bed said two thirty. He went into the bathroom, and I heard water start running. I slowly padded into the bathroom as he was pouring bubbles in the bathtub. I hadn’t had a bath in months and missed it. I began taking off my shoes and was reaching for the zipper of my dress when I felt his hands on my back.

“Let me
.” He was whispering in my ear and kissing my neck. I dropped my hands and closed my eyes as I felt the dress slide down my body and fall at my feet. My bra was next, and my panties topped the pile of clothes on the floor. He remained behind me, massaging my boobs for a long while. My head fell back on his chest, and I felt my body swaying into his every touch. He stopped for a second to turn off the water, and I opened my eyes.

“What
part did you miss most tonight while you were at the club, the sex in front of people, the bondage, or the variety of women?” I was surprised I had asked this and immediately wished I could take it back. I felt so sexually charged around him. The urge to make him happy was all I wanted from life at that moment. I wanted him to want me, in all the ways he wanted Bettina.

“Actually
, with you there with me, I didn’t miss any of it.”

He smiled
and I recognized that smile. I had given it many times. He was pretending again and the fake grin told me everything. I felt my face fall, all self-esteem leaving my body. He saw me began to cover myself with my hands, and then he stood in front of me. I felt my mind and body detach from him because his words were no longer sincere and honest.

He said some sweet things to me, trying nervously to say the right thing.
And I heard blah, blah, blah.

I
t grew quiet as he began to undress. I didn’t move my arms. He took off his shirt, and I watched it fall to the ground. I wanted to touch him so bad, but I didn’t. He was gorgeous trouble, and he was irresistible. I reminded myself that he was my ‘right now.’  I was going to be the taker, he could try to convince me I was special, but I knew I was like all the others. The thought was oddly relaxing, and I was OK with that.

He started to unbutton his pants and
his eyes found mine. “Stay still. I need to please you this time.”

I was confused by this statement until he lowered his pants and his penis sprung free
. The urge to drop to my knees was so powerful. He took a condom out of his pants pocket as he laid his slacks neatly on the counter.

“
It’s like a magic show” I said, motioning to the condom. “What else do you have in there?”

He just raised his eyebrows and smiled. H
is hand grabbed my wrist and he pulled me close to him pushing my back against the counter.

“You put it on
.”

H
e handed me the condom, and I took it mainly out of curiosity. I ripped it open before even looking at the package and took it out. He grabbed my hand and guided me over his hard cock. There was an electrical charge between us, and it intensified with the look of longing he was giving me. He picked me up and set me on the counter, spread my legs, and bent down in front of me.

“I love the way you look
.” He dragged his fingers over my sex. “You are so pure and clean.”

H
e kneeled before me and I heard him take in a deep breath through his nose.  He spread the lips of my pussy with his fingers and his tongue shot out. It was a vision, his mouth on my most intimate parts.  He worked, slowly touching every part thoroughly with his mouth. He put two fingers inside me and moved them in and out with rhythm. I moaned and arched my back at the intrusion; even though I saw it coming I was still surprised by how overpowering that single thrust felt. He stood up and positioned my legs around his waist. His penis was nudging my entrance, and I lost my breath for a minute. He carried me over to the wall and leaned me against it. Then, without warning, he plunged into me. I felt the blast of pain from my inside spreading out and I was alive. He stilled for a moment and whispered in my ear. I was gripping him tightly on his shoulder.  The cry that left my lips was so loud I couldn’t hear him, but just the sound of his whispering made parts of me hotter and wetter.

“Seriously, Kat
arina, you are so tight.” His breathing was heavy and his voice rough. It was so sexy. “Our bodies fit perfectly together. You feel so good…ahh.”

He began a slow pace
. I could tell he was being gentle, giving me tender kisses along my jaw and down my neck. I started to scratch his back, my nails biting into his skin, and I heard a growl escape his lips before he lost control. He started rolling his hips into me at a faster rate, his breathing heavy. My back was pinned to the wall, taking the pressure of his rhythmic blows.  It was the best ride I had ever been on.  My mind and body were consumed by his. He was studying me closely, so I stuck my tongue out and ran it over my lips. I saw beads of sweat dripping off his body. Then he slid his hand between us and used his finger to trace little circles over my swollen clit, and I came, squeezing my eyes shut, gripping my arms and legs tighter around him. His mouth found mine and he kissed me, a wet and salty kiss, and I felt possessed by him. I ran my fingers through his hair enjoying the feel of his short silky hair. I snaked my tongue out and licked his lips before he opened and kissed me with the same passion of his body. It was heady and urgent. His heavy breathing had him pulling his head away, and I watched his eyes close slightly before his cock jerked inside me and his whole body stilled. He stayed there like that for minutes, his face buried in my neck. Then he shifted his body to lift me off him slowly and set me on the ground next to him. He took off the condom and threw it in the trash.