My Favorite Mistake (28 page)

I’d never experienced the “hot and bothered” feeling, but around 3 a.m., I had to get up and get out of the room. I could hear Hunter’s every breath and movement like never before. I had a brief notion of going to sleep, or trying to, in Darah and Renee’s room, but then Hunter would know that I was hot and bothered.

I didn’t look at my face in the mirror because I didn’t want to see it. Instead I sat on the rim of the tub and twirled my hair with one finger. It was a habit I’d picked up when I was a kid that I hadn’t done in a long time. When I’d been young, I’d twirled so much I’d actually pulled some of my hair out. My therapist at the time, Dr. Blood, had given me a stress ball, but that hadn’t helped. I was irreparably broken.

I’d accepted the fact that I was messed up a long time ago. It was one of the reasons I’d promised myself to not get involved with anyone. No one should have to deal with my issues, other than me. It was easy, because there wasn’t anyone that I wanted to be with anyway.

Until now.

Hunter had said that he wanted me, and I couldn’t deny it any longer. I wanted him, too. I wanted him so much I could barely stand it. I spent nearly every waking hour with him, and I lamented the hours we were apart. Not because I needed him all the time, but I missed him when he wasn’t around. There were times when I’d see something, or someone would say something and I’d think, ‘Hunter would love that,’ or ‘the only other person who would find this funny is Hunter.’ I missed having his running commentary on everything.

He’d told me I wasn’t in love with him yet. Oh, but I was close. If this wasn’t almost love, I didn’t know what was.

A knock interrupted my thoughts.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Can I have some freaking privacy?”

“Sorry. You’ve just been in there for a while; I wanted to make sure you weren’t sick or anything. I’m leaving now. Also, I’m naked, so if you open the door right now, you’re going to get the full show.”

“Pass.”

“Suit yourself.” I heard him turn and go back to our room and close the door.

I stayed in the bathroom for a few more minutes, deciding I was just as hot and bothered there as in my bed, so I might as well be comfortable.

I didn’t say anything as I got back into bed.

“You know if you’re uncomfortable with what I said, it’s okay. I did kind of spring it on you,” he said. “I can take it back if you want.”

“The problem isn’t that I’m uncomfortable with it, the problem is that I want it!” I yelled. It was official; I’d lost it. Oh well, I wasn’t known for having a long fuse. “Are you happy? Jesus. You say something like that and then expect me to just be whatever about it. That’s like teasing someone with a giant red velvet cake and then putting it in one of those glass rotating desert thingies.” I wasn’t my most eloquent at the moment.

“Does this mean I’m the cake?”

“Shut up, it was a metaphor.”

“So you want me?”

So much it hurt. 

“Yes,” I whispered.

“Right now?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.” Now he was the one who sounded nervous.

“What?”

“It’s just… a surprise.”

“I told you I would entertain the idea.”

“I know. I just didn’t think you’d be so enthusiastic so soon.”

“Hunter, I’m a virgin. Not a nun.”

He didn’t talk for a moment.

“That was the sexiest thing you’ve ever said. God, why do you do this to me?” He rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling. I could just make out his naked chest in the dark.

“Ditto.”

“I feel both honored and terrified at the same time.”

“Why terrified?” I said. Hunter Zaccadelli wasn’t afraid of anything, let alone sex.

“That’s a lot of pressure. I mean, to ask me to be the first. I just… I don’t want to fuck it up. You’re too important for that.”

“I’m sure you’ve got plenty of experience.” I would be the one messing it up.

“All that doesn’t matter. All that stuff I did before was just sex. I told you, I don’t want to have sex with you. I want to do more. You deserve so much more. More than me anyway.”

“What if I don’t want more? What if I just want you?” All my feelings and frustrations had finally spilled out of my mouth.

“I take it back. That was the sexiest thing you’ve ever said.”

“So what now?”

“Well, I know we both have class tomorrow, but I don’t really want this date to end.”

“Me neither.”

“Hooky? I’ve got somewhere I want to take you.” I’d never played hooky in college. High school, plenty of times. I figured I’d paid enough damn money for my college education that I shouldn’t waste it. But maybe just this once. 

I’d have to call out of work, but I was only scheduled for two hours, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. It would probably be the one and only time. I’d only called in sick once to any of the jobs I’d ever had and that was because I had food poisoning and had to be next to a trash can at all times.

“Okay,” I said.

“Okay.”

We both lay there for a moment.

“I can’t sleep,” he said.

“Neither can I.”

“I have something in mind that we could do.”

“I’m sure you do.”

“If you want.”

“Noted.”

“All you’d have to do is come over here. Or I could come to you.”

“Okay.”

“I’ve never discussed it this much.”

“Sex?”

“Yeah, it usually just happens.”

“See, I’ve never understood that. It can’t ‘just happen.’ You can’t go from point A to sex in a moment.”

“It depends.”

“On what?”

“Usually on how much you’ve had to drink or how hot the girl is.”

“Pig.”

“Hey, I told you all that other stuff was in the past. It would be different with you.”

“How?”

“You want a play-by-play?”

“I’m just… curious.”

“I swear, you are killing me in the slowest most torturous way possible. I think I’m going to need about twenty cold showers after this conversation.”

I was going to need more than a few.

“We should go to bed,” I said.

“We should.” He sighed. “Nope, not going to happen. If you want me, I’ll be on the couch.” With that, he grabbed his boxers, slid them on, grabbed his pillow and blanket, and was out the door before you could say condom.

Thank God.

It was easier to think about other things like French verbs and the subtle expression of misogyny in film when he wasn’t in the room. I also thought about other things. I imagined us being… together. It was a nice image, but then it morphed into another image. The image of Travis’ face when he… No. I shut the mental replay down and tried to think about something else.

The bottom line was that I couldn’t be with Hunter until I’d told him. I’d have to risk big to get a bigger reward. Did I have the guts to do it?

I probably got about three hours tops when I heard Hunter moving around in the kitchen. It was like I had an alarm set to go off if he was doing anything. The sleep I’d gotten hadn’t been quality. It seemed I couldn’t sleep with him, but I couldn’t sleep without him either.

“Hey,” I said as I shuffled to the bathroom. I didn’t really care what I looked like. If he hadn’t seen my morning look and run by now, he wasn’t going to.

“Morning, gorgeous.”

“Unghn,” I said in response.

I felt a little better after Hunter shoved a cup of coffee into my hands and I took a few sips.

“So what are we doing today?” I said.

“No way. I got to surprise you last night and I intend to do the same today.”

“Do I get a hint? Maybe one word to describe it?”

He thought for a moment, sipping from his cup.

“Princess.”

“Princess?”

“Yup. That’s all you get.” I glared at him, but he just smiled.

“Tease,” I said. He laughed. “You gonna pick out my outfit seeing as how I don’t know where we’re going?”

“You can wear what you want, just bring a sweatshirt and comfortable shoes.”

“So we’re going someplace that could potentially be cold,” I said, tapping my chin.

“Hmm,” Hunter said, joining me.

“I’m going to go get dressed and ponder that. How was the couch?”

“Uncomfortable, but I don’t think it had anything to do with the couch.”

“Maybe not.”

I finished my coffee and went to change. It was a chilly day, but the sun was out, so I picked a rust-colored shirt and jeans, grabbing my UMaine sweatshirt and throwing on some ratty sneakers.

“This work?”

“Perfect. My turn.”

I texted Tawny while he changed, telling her that I needed to talk. I really, really need to talk to Tawny. I texted Megan as well, telling her about my plans. She said she was excited and to call her with all the details.

Renee texted me just as Hunter came out of the room, asking how our night was. I knew what she was asking. I wasn’t telling. There wasn’t really anything to tell, yet.

“What’s the verdict?” He did a turn, and I remembered the break-dancing display I’d seen the first weekend I’d met him.

“Where did you learn how to dance?”

“Mase and I used to mess around when we were kids, so we just kind of taught ourselves. I could show you a few moves. You’re a natural dancer. I could show you how to do a chest pop.” He demonstrated as I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, okay.”

“What? It’s a legitimate move, which you would be excellent at.” I didn’t have too much of a chest to pop. Just enough to know that I couldn’t walk around without a bra comfortably.

“You ready?”

“Yes, Miss Caldwell. Your chariot awaits you.”

“You mean your beat up car?” He ignored me and offered his arm. “Do I get a tiara? Please say I get a tiara.”

“I’ll work something out,” he said as he locked our door. 

“The tiara is like, the most important part of princessery. Oh, I need to call work.”

“Already taken care of.”

“What?”

“I called Tom and said you were in the bathroom puking your guts out.”

“But what if someone on campus sees us?”

“Relax. You’re not the first student who’s ever played hooky. I’m sure he knew I was making it up.”

“But I need that job, Hunter —”

He cut me off with a finger to my lips. “Princesses don’t stress. They take charge and let other people worry about the details.”

“Fine. But if I get fired, I’m blaming you.”

“If you get fired, I’ll quit.”

“Deal.”

“Deal.”

I let Hunter help me into the car, because princesses couldn’t get into cars without assistance or some such crap.

“It’s so the paparazzi won’t get a shot of your undies.”

“I’m not wearing a skirt.”

“You can never be too careful,” he said seriously.

I made him stop and get me a blueberry muffin and some iced tea. I figured I should really milk this princess thing while it lasted.

“It’s not as good as Hope’s,” I said about the iced tea.

“That’s something they know about in the south. I miss it sometimes.”

“What do you miss?”

“It feels… I don’t know, cozier, for lack of a better term. Not that Maine isn’t like that. It’s just different.”

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been down south.”

“Well, I’ll just have to take you. I don’t want your first experience to be with someone else.” 

“You’re talking about traveling, right?”

“Right.”

We turned south on I-95, which meant we were headed for the coast. 

“We’re not leaving the state, are we?”

“Nope. Just going a little ways up the coast.”

“So we’re going to the coast. Interesting…” 

I pondered as we drove. 

“What, no road trip princess mix?”

“I didn’t plan that far ahead. Pick a CD.” He tossed me a zipped folder that weighed about five pounds. “I still like having them just in case my mp3 dies for some reason. Like having records.”

I shuffled through them and there were quite a few bands I hadn’t heard of that I made mental notes to check out. I grabbed the first thing that made me smile. The Head and the Heart. 

He smiled too when he heard the first song. I skipped to
Honey, Come Home
.

“So you liked that?”

“It should have been totally cheesy, but it wasn’t.” I placed my hand on top of his as it rested on the shifter.

“I was going for non-cheesy. I eliminated a lot of other songs before I picked that one.”

“It was perfect.”

“Well, I was going to go with
Love Story
, but I figured that would be cheesy.”

“If you’d gone with that, I probably would have had my way with you on the couch while Megan was in the shower.”

“Damn. What a wasted opportunity.” We both laughed as Hunter hit the gas and passed a gigantic motor home.

“Where are we going?” I whined.

“God, that’s a sound I never want to hear again.”

“Tell me where we’re going and you won’t.”

“Nice try, Miss.”

“I think, as the princess, I have a right to this information. Otherwise, this is a kidnapping.”

“I’m sorry, Miss Caldwell. I’m under strict orders not to disclose that information.”

“Asshat.”

“Yes, Miss Caldwell. Whatever you say.”

I gave his shoulder a light punch in response.

He turned off I-95 onto 202 and then onto 1A. Hmm…

“The Coastal Route?” He nodded in response. “There are only so many places you could take me. If we were going to Portland, you would have just stayed on 95. So we must be going to one of the places along the way.” I got out my phone and looked up the names of the towns along the route.

“We just passed Winterport, so it isn’t that. Belfast? Lincolnville? Camden?”

“I’m not going to tell you.”

“I think I’m getting warmer.”

“Can’t you just let me surprise you without being curious?” His eyes pleaded in a really sweet way.

“Fine.” I put my phone back in my purse and sat back in my seat.

“It’s killing you, isn’t it?” he said after about two minutes.

“No.”

“Liar.”

“Kidnapper.”

It was kind of fun driving through the various towns, wondering which one he was going to stop at. We went through Belfast and then Lincolnville, going right past the beach. I’d thought of that as a possibility, but it wasn’t.