"I have something for you," Seth said as he rolled his wrapper into a ball and stood up to toss it in the garbage. He walked back over to stand in front of Nicky, his hand digging into his pocket.
Nicky's breath caught in his throat. He set his food down and reached for the small gold chain Seth held out to him. He held it in the palm of his hands as he gazed down at it. The necklace was delicate without being too feminine. It could be worn by either a man or a woman.
"Seth," Nicky said as he looked up at the man. "Why—"
Seth's face was flushed, his hands shoved into his pockets. "I wanted to get you something. That seemed appropriate." He kicked at the ground a little with his foot, looking sheepish. "Besides, it was either that or a ring and I don't think you're ready for that yet."
"Seth—"
Seth suddenly squatted down in front of Nicky, his hands reaching out to hold his. "Look, I've always known things before other people did. I know that sounds funny but it's the only way I can explain it to you. I know myself, Nicky. I don't take long to make decisions and when I do, I stick to them."
Seth took the necklace and unclasped it, holding it out between them. Nicky swallowed hard, the look of adoration in Seth's eyes making his heart pound wildly in his chest. No one had ever looked at him like that before, as if he was their entire world. He didn't know how that made him feel, excited, elated, or scared out of his mind.
"I told you that I know how I feel about you. I don't need years to make up my mind about you. I knew how I felt our first night together. My feelings for you aren't going to change, Nicky." Seth indicated the necklace in his hand. "I know I'm asking a lot of you but I'd like you to consider wearing this necklace as my promise to you. I'll always be here for you, no matter what. I just want to be with you."
"It hasn't even been a month, Seth."
Nicky's first instinct was to accept the necklace. He wanted more than anything to be with Seth but he didn't know if he could trust what he felt. Everything was just happening way too fast.
"I know, and I want to give you the time to get used to the idea. I'm just asking you to give me a chance, to give us a chance."
"Seth, you do know I was a dancer, right? And I don't mean a ballet dancer or anything." Nicky asked. "I danced on a stage and men put money into my g-string."
"Yeah, I know and I'm hoping someday that you'll dance for me. I'd like to see that. It's got to be hot."
Nicky frowned. He didn't understand Seth at all. "I let men feel me up for money, Seth. Don't you get that? I worked in a sleazy bar where touching was not only allowed, it was encouraged. Why do you think Morales wanted to hook me out? I was very popular."
"I understand that, Nicky. Elliot explained it all to me when he turned up at my door and told me what an idiot I was being."
"Someone is trying to kill me." If selling himself for money didn't dissuade Seth from wanting him then maybe that would. "If he catches me, or you, we're both dead. I still have to go back to Boston and testify against this man."
"And I'll be right next to you, holding your hand when you go."
Nicky blinked. He hadn't expected that. Seth sounded serious. "Seth, if they don't catch this guy I might have to live the rest of my life as a woman."
Seth smiled and brushed the hair back from Nicky's face. "Then I'll ask you to be my wife instead of my husband."
Nicky's mouth dropped open. Saying he was shocked didn't quite describe how stunned he felt at the moment. He knew Seth liked him. He just didn't have any idea how much. Nicky couldn't exactly say the same.
Nicky knew he had feelings for Seth. He just didn't know if he loved the guy. He needed more time to examine his feelings and get to know Seth before he could make that decision. It wasn't that easy for him. He'd made a lot of mistakes in his life. He didn't want to make one with Seth.
"Seth, I—" Nicky swallowed again, his throat feeling thick. "I need to think about this. I can't make snap decisions like you."
Seth's eyes saddened but he nodded and stood to his feet. "I understand," he said as he started to shove the necklace back into his pocket.
Nicky's heart ached. He grabbed Seth's hand to stop him, pulling the necklace out of his hand. "I'd like to wear the necklace if you'll allow me to. I didn't say I didn't want to be with you just that I needed more time to understand what's happening between us."
Seth's smile was still tinged with a hint of sadness but there was nothing Nicky could do about it. He couldn't force his feelings for Seth anymore than he could deny that he had them. He just wasn't sure exactly what
they
were.
Nicky held the necklace out to Seth in one hand and grabbed his long hair in the other, pulling it out of the way. "Put it on me?" he asked tentatively.
He could feel Seth's hands tremble against his skin as he fastened the necklace around his neck. Nicky stroked his fingers over the delicate gold chain as he let his hair fall back into place down his back and turned to face Seth.
"How does it look?"
"Almost as beautiful as you," Seth murmured. Nicky shivered when Seth's fingers brushed against his collarbone. The man's touch was like fire against his skin, making his flesh tingle and his breathing increase.
Nicky stepped closer to Seth, pressing his body up against his. "Don't give up on me, Seth," he pleaded. "Please."
Nicky almost sighed as Seth's arms wrapped around him. He laid his forehead against Seth's chest and tried not to give into the overwhelming feelings that raced through him. He wanted this with Seth so much but he was afraid to trust in it. No one fell in love this fast, no one. Life just didn't happen that way, did it?
"Never, baby," Seth whispered against the top of his head. "You can have all the time you need as long as you don't shut me out. I need you like I need air."
Nicky chuckled and tilted his head back so he could look up into Seth's eyes. "I kind of like that."
Seth grinned. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Then do you think we could seal the deal with a kiss?"
Nicky's eyes widened and darted around the little fountain square they stood in before coming back to meet Seth's. "Here?"
"Yes, here."
Before Nicky could protest further he felt Seth's lips press against his. Nicky's toes curled, lust for the man holding him instantly shooting through his body. He clutched at Seth's shirt as he tried to get closer, nipping at Seth's lips.
Nicky suddenly wished that they were back at his apartment where they could be together without pretending he was a woman. He wanted to feel Seth's skin rub against his. He wanted to feel Seth's body press him into the mattress. He just wanted.
"Seth," Nicky moaned against Seth's lips, "can we—"
"Seth?"
Nicky's heart plummeted as he turned to find a young woman standing next to them.
"I thought that was you," the woman said. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your lady friend?"
Nicky's head whipped back to look at Seth but the man seemed to only have eyes for the woman standing next to them. Nicky started to pull away from Seth, suddenly feeling very nervous and out of place.
Seth's strong arms kept him pinned to the bigger man's side. "Susan, this is Nicky," Seth said, "my girlfriend."
Nicky could feel the blood drain from his face as he gaped at Seth. Had he just been introduced as Seth's girlfriend?
"Girlfriend?" the woman asked. "Since when do you date girls?"
"Since I met Nicky," Seth replied.
"Does Mom know?"
Seth took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Nicky could feel the tension in his body and knew something was up but he couldn't figure out what.
"No, Mom doesn't know and I'd prefer that you didn't say anything, Susan. Nicky and I just started seeing each other and I'd rather introduce her myself."
Nicky frowned at the grin that crossed Susan's face. It made him nervous.
"You really expect me to keep this from Mom?" Susan asked.
"Susan—"
Susan just laughed. "You've got to be kidding. The minute I tell Mom you're dating a girl she'll get off my back and stop telling me my biological clock is ticking away. You can be on her radar for a while, see how you like it."
"Damn it, Susan, this is none of Mom's business, or yours."
Susan rolled her eyes. "Says you, big brother."
It suddenly dawned on Nicky that they faced Seth's sister. He didn't know why he didn't pick up on that before now. She looked like a smaller, more feminine version of Seth, right down to the deep chocolate-brown eyes.
"I'm so pleased to finally meet you," Nicky said as he plastered a sweet smile on his face. "Seth told me he wanted to introduce me to his family. We've just been waiting for the right time. It's kind of hard to share things with others when it's all so new, you know?"
Susan's smile stuttered as she glanced over at Nicky. "Oh? Just how long have you been dating?"
"Not long really, just a few days. We met a couple of weeks ago when I moved into Seth's building and he offered to help with my boxes." Nicky smiled again and patted Seth's chest with his manicured and painted nails. "Seth's such a sweetheart."
"Don't lay it on too thick, babe." Seth chuckled but Nicky could still feel the tension in the arm wrapped around his waist. "Susan is my sister. She'll never believe you."
"Nonsense, I'm sure Susan knows how wonderful you are."
"You have been dating for only a few days haven't you?" Susan laughed. "So, when are you going to take your little girlfriend to meet Mom and Dad?"
CHAPTER 9
"I still think this is a really bad idea, Nicky," Seth said as he pulled his car up in front of his parents' house and turned off the engine.
"Are you ashamed of introducing me to your parents?" Nicky asked. "Is it because I'm dressed as a girl?"
"I'm not ashamed of you at all but, Nicky, you need to understand, I've always known I was gay. I've never brought a girl home. My Mother will drill you to death while planning our wedding."
"I've been interrogated before, Seth, and I think the US Marshal's Service is a little scarier than your Mother."
"You'd be wrong," Seth snorted. "My Mom is a suburban housewife. When she found out I was gay, she joined every rainbow pride parade and activist group in the area. When Susan decided to try out for cheerleading, Mom became the assistant coach just so she could help."
"Sounds like she loves you both a lot."
"She does, but Mom goes a tad bit overboard." Seth waved his hand toward the picturesque house with a perfectly manicured yard, complete with flowers lining the walkway. "I'd bet good money that right now she's inside cooking up a storm and setting out the good china so she can make a good impression on my date."
"Bring home dates often do you?" Nicky smiled but he was actually curious, and a bit jealous. He didn't like the idea of Seth being with anyone else. Nicky reached up and ran his fingers over the thin gold necklace encircling his throat as he waited for Seth to reply. Somehow, it gave him a measure of calm.
"Actually, no, I've never brought anyone home, male or female, which is why this has me so worried. Mom is going to go out of her mind, especially when I bring a girl home after so many years of being gay."
"Do you want to tell them the truth?"
"No!"
Nicky held up his hands in surrender at Seth's words. "Just asking."
"I'm sorry, Nicky." Seth shook his head. "I know I sound like an ass but I won't do anything that might endanger you. Until Morales is caught, the fewer people who know the truth the better."
"Are you sure it's not because I'm dressed as a girl?"
"I'm sure." Seth reached over and grabbed Nicky's hand, bringing it to his lips for a quick kiss. "I don't care if you’re a man, woman, or a turtle. I like you just the way you are and I would proudly introduce you to the world as mine if I could."
"Well, you can certainly introduce Nicky Ryland to anyone you want."
"And I will but it's not the same thing and you know it, Nicky. Despite the makeup and nails, the hair extensions and girly clothes, you are a man, my man, and I want to introduce you that way. But until Morales is caught, I've switched sides."
Seth watched Nicky's mouth drop open more and more with each word he spoke. He thought he detected a sparkle of moisture in Nicky's eyes before the man quickly glanced away and swallowed.
"Okay, I guess I can live with that," Nicky murmured.
Seth frowned as he climbed from the car and walked around to Nicky's side, opening his door. He didn't understand this hang up Nicky seemed to have with dressing as a girl. Maybe it was because he didn't have to? He got to dress as a man. Still, Seth cared for Nicky no matter what the man wore.
It was interesting for him to date someone that dressed as a female, since he'd never once been out with a woman. Seth had noticed the difference when they went out yesterday. No one looked at them if he held Nicky's hand or kissed him. No one shouted names at them or looked disgusted. He was just a guy out with his girl.
Seth knew his behavior had changed when he discovered no one looked at them twice. He'd held Nicky's hand more often, cradled him closer, and danced around with him as music filled courtyard. Maybe that was why Nicky seemed so reluctant to commit? Seth acted different than he would if he'd been out on a date with a man.
Seth decided that the first time they got to go out together as two men, he would ensure that his behavior wasn't any different than if Nicky was dressed as a woman. He would prove to Nicky that he accepted him, male or female.
Tonight, however…
"My lady," Seth said as he held his hand out to Nicky.
"You so suck." Nicky shot daggers at him as he took the hand Seth held out and climbed from the car.
"Maybe later tonight when we get home we can revisit that statement, love." Nicky rolled his eyes then smoothed down the silky fabric of his dress. Seth grinned. "You look beautiful."
"I look like a girl, Seth."
"Isn't that the point?"
Seth's eyebrows shot up in surprise at the little growl that came from his sweet Nicky's mouth. He wanted to laugh at the disgruntled look on Nicky's face but he was pretty sure he'd receive a knee someplace he didn't want it.
Instead, Seth used the tight grip Nicky had on his hand to pull the other man into his arms, then quickly lowered his lips to cover Nicky's before the man could protest. Seth groaned when Nicky's body melted against his. Nicky might be a man, but he had soft curves and hard spots in all the right places.
"This is no way to introduce me to your parents," Nicky hissed a moment later as he pulled away and rested his forehead against Seth's chin. "It's going to be real hard to pass as a girl with a raging hard on sticking out of my dress. Your mom is sure to notice."
Seth chuckled then kissed the top of Nicky's head. "I'll walk in front of you, if you think that would help."
"Your tight ass walking in front of me? That probably wouldn't help the situation at all." Seth could see a sparkle of amusement in Nicky's eyes when he tiled his head back. "It just might make it worse, in fact."
"I sure as shit can't walk behind you. We'd never even make inside the house."
"Well, we can't stay out here." Nicky snorted. "I can see someone looking through the front curtain as it is."
Seth whipped around just in time to see the living room curtain fall back into place. He rolled his eyes, knowing his mother stood on the other side of that curtain. Her curiosity must be driving her out of her mind.
"Sorry about that, babe."
"I'm not." Nicky chuckled. "It's actually kind of cute. I expect her to start flipping the porch light on and off any minute now."
"She would too."
"So, I guess our only choice is to walk in side by side then, huh?"
Seth grinned and grabbed Nicky's arm, wrapping it around his. "Shall we, my dear?"
"You know I'm going to pay you back for this, right?" Nicky asked as he fell into step beside Seth and walked up the cobblestone walkway to the front door.
"I'm counting on it."
CHAPTER 10