Authors: Ashley Blake
Dammit these
butterflies are getting out of control! Why is my body betraying me like this?
I looked him boldly in
the eye. “I saw you at Tavern on Rush on Saturday night.”
He looked confused as he
furrowed his brow. “Yes, I know that, I saw you and I waved at you and you
ignored me. Why did you do that?”
“I saw you there with
Carrie, I saw you holding her hand Caleb. I’m not going to be that girl that
you can fool around with whenever you want behind your girlfriend’s back, that
will never be me.”
He looked annoyed as he
responded to me. “Emma, Carrie is just a friend. I told you earlier that day
that she is not my girlfriend, I did not lie to you.”
I put my hand on my
hip. “
Really
. Kelly seems to think otherwise, which she so
graciously
shared with me in the ladies’ room that night. She told me that you drove me
home because you felt sorry for me. She made it pretty clear that you are
off-limits, and I have no interest in jumping in between someone’s relationship.
If nothing is going on with you two then only one of you is aware of that! You
might
want to clear that up.” I slung my bag over my shoulder and
walked out the door.
I walked quickly and
Caleb didn’t follow behind me, which made me think that my message was getting
through to him. He could go find some other girl to try to manipulate.
I threw myself into my
schoolwork that entire weekend, breaking only to have drinks with Kelly and
Rena on Saturday night. We were at Paris Club just catching up on how our
semesters were going so far.
“Rena, since you’re in a
different program than Kelly, what’s your work load with grad school?”
“It’s different because
it’s art school so it’s nothing like business school or law school, but we do
have a lot of work to do. It’s more project oriented than 40 page paper
oriented, you know? It’s probably somewhat similar to portfolio school since
some of the courses can overlap in our different industries.”
“I always wondered about
that because Kelly has a lot of projects due this semester alone and I was kind
of surprised by that. So it’s interesting to hear that there isn’t much
difference in the different types of programs in graduate art school.”
“Yeah, there really
isn’t. Like, for example, I’m getting a masters in art education when I
graduate this Spring, and Caleb is getting a master’s in art history but we
both have a ton of projects to complete before we graduate. He’s actually
opening an art gallery in the Spring, but Emma, you probably already know
that. By the way, how are things going with you two?”
Kelly chimed in. “Oh,
that’s a sore subject, I don’t think they are even on speaking terms right
now.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t
mean to pry.” Rena looked really remorseful and I had to assure her that it
was okay that she asked me about him.
“No problem, I’m just
happy that I got out before I was in too deep. Caleb Morgan is not who I
thought he was, well scratch that, he’s actually
exactly
who I thought
he was, with his pretty boy looks and charisma. I’m just annoyed that I fell
for it at all, but you live and you learn.”
Rena raised her eyebrows
in surprise. “I have to say that I am really surprised because the way he
talked about you Emma, I had never heard him talk like that about anyone
before. I hope you guys can work it out because, I promise you, even though
you have just met each other, he was a changed man after meeting you.”
I had to admit that her
words did surprise me, but it was too late, I was done with his lies and games.
Kelly chimed in again.
"Oh I say never say never Emma, you never know what will happen. When you
are meant to be with someone nothing can keep you two apart, that’s what I
believe anyway.”
Kelly had always been
the hopeless romantic between the two of us; I was the more practical thinker.
But it didn’t matter. I told myself that this discussion meant nothing because
things were over with Caleb and me.
We chatted for a little
while longer and then we went home because we all had projects to work on for
school and we didn’t want to be zombies the next day. As I was lying in bed
that night, I thought about what Rena had said about Caleb and how he was a
changed man because of me. I tried to push it out of my mind but the words kept
repeating in my head. I was going to have to face Caleb next Saturday at the
senior center, and I was really nervous about that but I would deal with that when
the time came. I felt myself getting really bummed thinking about him and,
mercifully, I was able to quickly drift off to sleep.
The following week at
school I was so busy I barely had time to eat, and it was good because I didn’t
have much time to think about Caleb. But in the moments when I was still, he
crept into my thoughts. I could see his face, feel his lips on mine, feel his
hands on my skin and I would start to feel sad about what could have been. I
really wanted him and it wasn’t because he was so gorgeous, it was because I
thought he was so awesome to be around and it was so easy to talk with him. I
did my best to push him out of my mind but there were times where my heart was
stronger than my mind.
Saturday came before I
knew it and I was really nervous about seeing Caleb at the center, but I’d made
a commitment to them and I was not going to break it. I arrived at the center
at 9:00 and Jean was rushing around getting things set up for a live
performance. Leo Cox, a piano player who was a favorite of the seniors, was
coming to play for the entire time that day while we played games and had
lunch. I quickly glanced around and did not see Caleb anywhere so I was able
to relax, at least for the short amount of time that he was not there yet.
“Hi Jean, how can I
help, what would you like for me to do?”
“Oh Emma dear, I’m so
happy that you’re here, we have so much setting up to do before Leo arrives.”
“Okay just tell me what
you would like for me to do and where you would like me to put everything.”
“Can you finish setting
up the tables and chairs and check to make sure that they all have pads on the
feet?”
“No problem.”
I was setting up tables
and chairs when I heard Caleb’s voice enter the room and my body literally
froze in place. I took a deep breath and continued setting up, trying to
appear as if his presence did not affect me. You could be standing right in
front of Jean talking with her and she always spoke as if you were standing
clear across the room, so I heard her talking with Caleb.
“Caleb would you be a
dear and help Emma set up the rest of the chairs and tables and check that they
all have pads on the feet? Everyone will start arriving around 11:00 and I
don’t want to make scraping noises with the chairs and tables because some
people have sensitive ears, and I don’t want to aggravate them.”
“No problem Jean.”
I heard Caleb walking
toward me, and my palms became very sweaty as my heart began to pound in my
chest. My throat was completely parched, so as soon as I heard him approach me
from behind, I turned to go get a glass of water in the kitchen and I did not
say a word to him. I could feel his eyes on me as I walked toward the kitchen
but I did not turn around.
I took my time in the
kitchen, drinking my water, hoping that by the time I was done Caleb would be
done setting up. A few minutes later other volunteers arrived so I tried to
look busy in the kitchen, but then I heard Jean’s voice calling for me.
“Caleb, will you go see
if you can find her in the kitchen and ask her to help move this big table?”
“Sure thing Jean.”
Oh great.
There was
nowhere for me to hide so I decided to go out into the other room before Caleb
came to get me, like I was a child. I nearly ran into him just as he was
coming into the kitchen. He grabbed my arms to steady me and I looked up into
those gorgeous eyes and just wanted to melt. My mind went back to our first
encounter at the party a few weeks before, and it felt like déjà vu.
“Where’s the fire?”
I savored his touch for
a few seconds and then I remembered the whole Carrie thing and I snatched my
arms out of his grasp.
“Sorry about that, I
heard Jean ask you to come find me to help move the table, so let’s just go do
that.”
I tried to walk out but
he blocked the door.
“Emma, what was that
earlier?” His brows furrowed with confusion.
“What do you mean?” I
knew he was talking about my dash into the kitchen to get away from him.
Fire flashed across
those gorgeous eyes. “You know exactly what I mean.”
“Do we have to do this
now Caleb? We really need to get everything set up.”
“Fine, I will find you
after we’re all done here, and don’t even think about leaving without talking
to me.”
His tone was firm and I
knew it would not be a good idea if I ducked out early, so I agreed to talk
with him after we were done for the day. We went out into the other room and
finished setting everything up just in time for everyone’s arrival. I saw Jack
and Mary walk in together, chatting and laughing, and it really warmed my
heart.
“Hi Emma! Come sit at
our table, we want to tell you something.” Jack had a big grin on his face and
I smiled back at them and sat at their table.
Being around them really
cheered me up and helped me momentarily forget about my issues with Caleb. “Hi
Jack, hi Mary, wow, you both look great! How are you guys doing?”
Mary had a big smile on
her face. “We are great. Guess what we did?”
I sat up in my seat, and
widened my eyes with interest as I smiled at them. “What?”
“You tell her Jack.”
Mary couldn’t stop smiling.
“Yeah, tell me Jack,
what did you guys do?”
“Well, I decided to take
your and Caleb’s advice and, I asked Mary if she would like to go have a couple
coffee with me this week. She said yes, and we were at Starbucks for nearly 3
hours on Wednesday afternoon.” He was positively beaming and I could tell that
he really liked her.
“Oh my goodness! I am
just so happy for you two, I knew you would have a nice time if you went out
away from the center.”
“You were right and
Caleb was right.” Jack looked around and looked back at me with a puzzled look
on his face. “Where is Caleb?”
“He’s here somewhere, I
was talking with him earlier.”
“Well, when you see him
will you call him over so that Mary and I can tell him our good news?”
“Yes, absolutely Jack.”
It was time for lunch,
so all of the volunteers gathered together to make a plate for each senior and
then we passed out the food. I was just getting ready to sit down and eat with
Jack, Mary and the other seniors at our table, when I heard Caleb’s deep voice
behind me.
“Do you mind if I join
you?”
I felt a pit in my
stomach at the thought of having to sit through a meal with him, but I couldn’t
protest because Jack and Mary had been waiting to talk to Caleb, and they had
big grins on their faces.
“Caleb, there you are!
Of course you can sit with us. Mary and I have some news to share with you.”
Caleb glanced at me and
I could see that he was upset with me, and then he turned his attention toward
Jack and Mary and smiled at them. “Oh yeah? What’s going on?”
“Well, I took your and
Emma’s advice, and I asked Mary out for a cup of coffee and we were at
Starbucks for three hours this week. So thank you for the gentle nudge.”
“Hey you guys, that is
terrific! I’m happy you were able to do that, and I knew that you would have a
nice time together.”
Jack looked at Caleb,
then looked at me, and then back to Caleb with a pretty mischievous look on his
face. “So…?”
I knew what he was
trying to ask and it was so cute the way he was doing it that I had to laugh
out loud. “Yes Jack? Is there something that you would like to ask us?”
“I’m just wondering when
Caleb is going to take his own advice and ask you out for coffee.”
I could see Caleb’s face
change and he almost looked hurt, then his eyes glossed over as he got control
of his emotions. “You know, that’s a great idea Jack, I’m going to ask her
right now in front of you since you are our friends. Let’s see what Emma
says.”
I was totally put on the
spot and I knew that I could not say no in front of Jack and Mary, so I would
have to play along.
Caleb turned to look at
me, his eyes betraying him. I could see the hurt that was there as his eyes
searched mine, and I felt a twinge of guilt knowing that I had caused him to
look that way. I tried to tell myself that it was him that caused this when he
cheated on Carrie with me. Wait a minute. Where was Carrie? I asked the
question out loud, totally throwing him off and he looked a bit confused, and
then I could see him focus on my question.