My Immortal (4 page)

The torches are scaring the crap out of him;
I can tell by his body language and demeanor, yet he still tries to
protect me.

The authorities point at us, arguing over
something in that unknown language. Shadow tilts his ear towards
them, leading me to believe that he understands something that they
are saying.

They all stop talking and smile maliciously
at me, and Shadow growls deep and loud.

One of them juts the torch towards Shadow,
taunting him and Shadow jerks back a little.

Evil bastards will pay,
I promise
myself and them.

His beautiful, black wings are released,
which I find odd. I never see angels or demons with their wings out
unless they are flying, especially not in a dirty cell.

I will think about that later.

The authorities turn and the last one out
places his torch on the wall before leaving. After shutting the
cell door, they start laughing and their voices disappear down the
tunnel.

Luckily, they left that torch because now
there is a dim light in the cell and I can see Shadow…or what's
left of him.

I notice his spine sticks out harshly between
his wings as he is knelt in front of me and I can count each rib
without having to guess where it's at.

He stands up and walks over to the darkest
corner, farthest away from the torch and his wings droop, dragging
in the dirt.

This shocks me to my core.
No one
lets
their wings drag.

I contemplate this for a second but not for
long, because I know him well enough to know that he is afraid of
fire.

They left that torch in here to scare him. To
taunt him. To remind him that he is a prisoner. They probably have
been torturing him with fire too.

That's not okay with me.

I'm tempted to go put it out but then I will
be in utter darkness again.

I hate the dark.

It must be said that I am selfish, because I
should put his wants above mine.

Guilt nags my conscious and I decide that I
will put it out in just a second, after I look at him and see his
condition up close.

Am I really seeing this or are the shadows
playing a trick on my eyes? It looks like he has lash marks all
across his body that are angry, red welts. Some of them even look
bloody and infected.

I scoot closer, subtly, like I would approach
a scared animal.

He keeps a close eye on me, never looking
away and I can see his anxiety grow the closer I come.

He sits on his butt, knees up and apart with
his arms resting loosely on his knees.

He looks so different; it's hard to believe
it's really him. If it weren't for his voice and his protectiveness
of me I would think I had the wrong boy.

I would describe him as emaciated. I can see
most of his bones and his skin is tight and thin, just a
covering.

His hair is longer now, it's probably about
four or five inches long and stringy, maybe even wet from sweat? It
hangs down into his face and is in disarray on the top of his head.
If he were healthy it might look good on him, in the sexy bed head
sort of way.

His tattoos are covered in dirt and grunge
but I can still see the tribal design on his right bicep down to
his wrist and the flame with a circle around it and it's squiggles
branching off from the back of his neck to meet the tribal on his
bicep.

Some of his piercings look to have been
ripped out and re-pierced because there are scabs around each
piercing and I can clearly see that the punctures are angry, red,
and new.

His eyebrow piercing and nipple rings are the
worst.

The ones in his lower lip and the ones in his
ears appear to be better off, but I still want to kiss them all
better and hug him tightly.

The firelight reflects off of the two silver
balls in his lower lip and I try to look away but my eyes are
greedy to drink him in.

I have dreamed about those beautiful, soft
lips for so long now, they are just so enticing to finally see up
close again.

His red eyes continue to watch me take him
all in. Does he remember me yet? Does he think I'm pretty still?
Does he hate me?

"What are you thinking?" I ask.

He just stares at me, not giving anything
away.

His red eyes glance down at my bloody knees
and I see his nostrils flare. He squeezes his eyes shut.

"Have they been starving you?"

Stupid question to ask when I look at him.
It's so obvious that I grimace.

"Don't answer that…I don't know why I even
asked…" I mumble.

"Can't eat," is all he gives me.

I give him a baffled look. "Why can't you
eat?"

If I were as starved as he is, I would be
able to eat an elephant.

"Won't stay down…"

Oh. He can't keep his food down. If you can't
eat you can't live…this thought scares the hell out of me because I
can see that he's dying.

"We have to find a way to get you to keep it
down, Shadow. I can't lose you again."

He frowns at me as if he's confused and
appalled at the same time.

I finally close the rest of the distance
between us. He jumps and bangs his head into the wall when I sit
down directly in front of him.

What has happened to him to make him so
afraid of everything?

"What have they done to you?" I whisper,
reaching my hand out to touch his face. He squirms away from my
hand and burrows into the corner even farther. I decide not to
touch him. I thought he would have missed my affection but it's
like he can't bare the thought of being touched by me.

I try so hard not to take it as rejection but
hurt radiates through me.

He notices. "I just…don't like to be
touched." I see his throat work to swallow nervously.

"I won't touch you then, unless you want me
to. You have my word." I whisper.

I think he believes me because he seems to
relax a little.

"So what have they done to you?" Do I even
want to know?

He snorts. "What haven't they done to me?"
His tone is weak, and pitiful.

"I'm so sorry that it took so long to find
you, Shadow. We loo-"

"I don't go by that name anymore," he
interrupts. "I haven't in a long time."

I'm taken aback.

"Well what name do you go by now?'

"Freak, mostly. Sometimes Half-ling."

"Shadow, I'm not--"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

It startles me but I calm down quickly and
swallow.

I try again.

"I'm not going to call you,
Freak,
" I
say aghast, "so you best pick something else or Shadow it is."

He purses his lips like a stubborn child and
rolls his eyes.

"Why are you even here?" he all but
spits.

It hurts that he doesn't want me here after
all of the promises we made and everything we went through to be
together.

"Did you just forget everything so easily?!"
I yell brokenly. "What about our promises? Huh? Our plan to escape
and live together happily, away from this miserable place! Do you
even care? Did you even miss me at all?"

I am crying now and for once I don't care. He
seems to be a little uncomfortable though.

His eyes flick all around us, avoiding me at
all costs. Apparently, it's the torch or a crying female…he has to
pick his foe.

"Answer me!" I screech.

I am mad and I can't help my emotions. Six
months worth of them are flowing out now; the damn has burst
open.

His red eyes land on me again, intent and
determined and a little daring.

"I did at first…"

"Then what?" I hiss, "you just forgot about
me and didn't care anymore? You didn't love me as much as I loved
you or you would have missed me so bad you couldn't stand it! You'd
be happy to see me now, not mad!"

"I didn't forget about you, I just gave up. I
accepted my fate…and yours."

I shake my head, not believing what I am
hearing. "What about our promises?"

"Well I think they pretty much went all to
hell when you bonded to Gabe, don't you?" he hisses.

He's mad now. The fire is back in those
feisty red eyes.

At least now I know that he
does
care.
He cares enough to be jealous. That's what this is really
about.

I sigh. "Shadow, I didn't have a choice…"

"That's not my name anymore, damnit!"

"Shadow, Shadow, Shadow, Shadow…" I
chant.

He covers his ears.

"I'll say it until you remember it!"

"THERE IS ALWAYS A CHOICE!!!" he yells
angrily, interrupting my immature taunting. His voice level was so
loud that it boomed deep in his chest and feels like it is still
echoing off of the walls and my thumping heart.

I bite my lip and grind my teeth, trying so
hard not to say anything to hurt him even though I really want to.
I know him well enough to hurt him and hit him where it counts.

But I'm trying not to stoop that low right
now. I try to keep in mind that he is hurt. Jealous. It's the worst
kind of pain to think a lover betrayed you.

I calm my voice down, and try to show my
sorrow and regret through my tone. "I was forced. Gabe was going to
tell them and choose another mate. It was the deadline that night,
and he was mad. He was tired of waiting."

I swallow.

"I would have been cast out as a play thing
for the Hell Horde if I would have denied him."

He balls his fists up and some muscles bulge
in his biceps and I can't imagine how they are as large as they are
in this emaciated body of his.

"Did you enjoy it?" he grits out through his
teeth.

Like I would say yes anyways, but is he
insane? Why even ask that?

"You won't believe me if I say no. How am I
even supposed to answer that?"

He snorts. "Like I care. I just hope it was
worth it to you."

I blow air through my lips, puffing my cheeks
out. I am so frustrated.

"I don't even know why but I am going to
answer you. No, I didn't enjoy it, if you must know. I just lied
there until Gabe found his pleasure and I was near tears with guilt
and pain."

He glances away. I know he wants to believe
me, but knowing him he isn't going to let himself. He's a masochist
of late. He will torture himself if no one else will.

"That's too bad," he snorts.

Ah yeah, there it is. The cynicism. He dares
to let himself hope.

"Don't sit there and lie to yourself! I am
not lying to you! I wanted
you
. I hate all this. I don't
care if I do or don't ever have sex again!" I raise my voice again.
How does he make me so hot and cold at the same time?

"Yeah me either. I've had enough sex to last
me a lifetime. In fact I beg them to leave me alone lately."

My body goes rigid and my blood turns
cold.

I can't find anything to say, because I'm
just not sure how to ask. I don't want to know. But the emotions
swamp me: jealousy, rage, madness.

I could kill right now.

My body shakes with pent up anger.

"With?" is all I can get out. Emphasis on the
'th' and it sounds demented and deep, nothing like my voice.

He scoffs. He freaking scoffs at me! "With
whomever they throw in here to rape me, that's who! Kind, gender,
size, age, nothing matters to them!"

"Why do they do that?! Why do you do
it?!"

He runs a hand through his messy hair. "They
are trying to bond me to someone, anyone, so that I can keep the
blood down. They think I'll be able to drink from my mate and keep
it down…and I do it because they drug us both and I really can't
control myself."

I stand on unsteady legs, putting my hand to
my forehead and stumble over to the cell door slowly. I grab hold
of the cold metal bars and try to bend them and shake them.

Suddenly, all of my rage, anger, frustration,
and heartbreak become so overwhelming that I can't contain it. I
can't hold it back any longer and it just bursts out of me.

"I AM GOING TO KILL THEM ALL!" I scream,
enraged.

I turn, back to the cold metal and slide down
onto my butt.

He laughs and I see his fangs for the first
time since I've been in here. They makes my pulse jump
erratically.

Yes, even at a time like this.

Why do I love them so much?

Memories run through my mind of him biting my
neck and my body warms up instantly. I feel the blood rush to my
face and glance away hoping he won't notice.

When I glance sideways at him, I notice that
he has stiffened and his eyes are heavy lidded.

I try to distract us both. "Why do they care-
if--if you live or die?" I whisper breathily.

He swallows and his eyes meet mine again.
"They said something about me being a progeny or something. They
dosed me with things that no one else has been able to live through
and I gave them the results they've dreamed of. They plan on me
being some kind of secret weapon again the Hell Horde," he scoffs.
"After this I would
join
the Hell Horde just to kill them
for fun." He smiles and it makes that whole admission creepy. He
has a happy gleam in his eyes talking about killing them. It's so
unlike the Shadow that I remember.

"I loved you," I whisper. "I loved you so
much."

He seems shocked and confused as to where
that came from but he doesn't say anything. He doesn't tell me that
he loved me too.

"Oh really? I didn't know that if you loved
someone you could screw someone else so easily."

And we are back to this again.

I throw my hands up in defeat.

I look up and squeeze my eyes shut for
courage and then walk back toward him. "I guess I'm just a stupid
slut to you?!"

His eyes follow me and I see his throat work
to swallow again.

"What the hell did I even come after you for?
I risked my life for you!" I cry.

"I don't know why, that's what I keep asking
you," he says.