My Life From Hell (12 page)

I flinched at that last bit. At one time, I’d wanted to do the same thing. In my defense, I hadn’t known Kai had loved me then, and it had been a major survival plan for keeping my heart in one still-beating piece.

Still, I didn’t want to answer him either. I knew what she had felt. It wasn’t pretty. “She loved you.” I left it at that.

Problem was, Kai was no idiot. He laughed mirthlessly. “And she was going to kill me anyway,” he said.

I flung up my hands in exasperation, and sat up, my feet slapping onto the floor. “What do you want me to say? Persephone was the universe’s biggest bitch. And I’ve got Bethany—who tormented me for my entire life, tried to steal my boyfriend, stabbed me, and left me for dead—as a contender for second place. I’m sorry about what Persephone was planning, but I can’t change it. So right now I’m telling you to put on your big boy pants because everything is falling apart and we can’t let Zeus and Hades win.”

Persephone and I had made entirely different choices. For better or for worse, I led with my heart. As opposed to letting my messed up goddess-essence-with-a-superiority-complex rule my life with knee jerk reactions. Could he say the same?

Kai didn’t actually say anything for a bit. I hoped laying it on the line had gotten through to him, and was making him rethink his attitude. Then again, gods were notoriously stubborn. And touchy.

I decided to employ the “catch more flies with honey” approach, so I softened my tone and said, “For what it’s worth, I doubt Persephone could have really done it in the end.”

He shot me a sideways glance. “Could
you
?”

“Screw you, Kai.” I pulled my pendent out from under my dress, bolted to my feet, and headed for the cypress’ trunk. I could be back in Festos’ apartment in a second.

Kai jumped up and grabbed my arm, knocking my pendent out of my fist. “Protest all you want, but you
are
her. And if she could do it, then the potential is in you.”

I broke his grip. “You’re as crazy as our fathers.” I shoved at his chest. “Your kid self is in you, if you weren’t hatched out of Hades’ ass fully grown, or however you were spawned. So the potential for every stupid thing you’ve ever done is still in you, too. Does that mean you’re going to go out and do endless stupid things? Because if you wanna start making lists, I’m betting I’m the one that needs to be worried here.”

Silence. My chest heaved and Kai would have to be blind to miss my furious glare.

His nostrils flared. His jaw was so tight I worried he might shatter it. His eyes narrowed slightly and then he disappeared.

Days away from the love ritual we had to perform and this was the state of our relationship.

Humanity was screwed.

Seven

“Great,” I said to the empty room. There was nothing to do except wait for him to come back because no way was I leaving without some kind of resolution.

I folded my hands in my lap and sat down on the sofa. My eyes snagged on Kai’s bed.

I looked away.

Looked back.

It was a really big bed. Extremely comfy looking. I eyed it, gauging precisely how comfy. Thought about testing it out, since I was stuck here anyway.

I headed over to the kitchen first, grabbed a paper towel and doused it in hot water. I’d been barefoot all this time and my feet were filthy. I cleaned them off and threw the wad of paper in the trash.

Biting my lip, I snuck toward the bed. I paused a moment at its foot, then launched myself onto it, arms outstretched. Yowza, was it relaxing. Not too hot, not too cold. Not too hard, not too soft. It was baby bear’s ultimate bed. I rolled over onto my back, enjoying the way I sank into it the perfect amount. It must have been one of those memory foam mattresses because it molded itself around me, swaying gently thanks to the massive hammock.

My, a girl could get used to this.

Shaking dangerous thoughts from my head, I sat up reluctantly and immediately felt a familiar weight knocking me back down against the mattress’ fluffy perfection.

Kai lay over me, propped up on one elbow. “I love you.” His voice was hard, his eyes burning with intensity. He pressed me into the bed.

I blinked. Stupidly. “I know.”

“The ritual is going to work.” I heard the absolute conviction in his voice and understood that his anger didn’t overpower his love. That we were going to be fine.

Dumb boys and their inability to articulate actual emotions. As much as I would have liked to hear him say that, I could tell from the look on his face that those three words were as much as I was getting out of him. “Are you still mad?”

Kai hesitated. “Yes.” He rolled onto his back.

I took it as my cue to leave.

His arms wrapped around me and nestled me into his side. “Stay.” It wasn’t a question. I would have bristled but he looped his finger into one of my ringlets and tugged gently. “Please.”

It was
so
killing him to say that word. Which didn’t endear him to me. But the accompanying tender look dissolved my brain into swoony mush.

Mostly mush. I still felt a core of deep resentment at how he’d treated me the last couple of months. How I’d allowed myself to be treated. It should have been the easiest thing in the world to open my mouth and tell him everything that had been wrong with his behavior.
Our
behavior.

I tried. I thought them silently.
If you’d been mad, you should have respected me enough to talk to me. Not just use me as a hook up. Not make me feel like crap.
I even progressed to mouthing the words. Until I finally got the courage to turn my head, look at Kai—and feel my resolve crumble. What if I broke what little connection we’d re-established? What gave me the right to be that selfish when, now more than ever, we needed to be in sync?

Persephone had been selfish and look where it had gotten her.

I was better than that. It could wait.

We lay there, not speaking, not even kissing. Just Kai playing with my hair and keeping me cuddled against him. Which was not great, but at least felt like we’d achieved a tentative level of all right. Maybe not the giddiness of the day we’d declared our love for each other, because there was still too much hurt on both our parts, but hopefully enough new closeness to get us through the battle with the rest of our lives to achieve Hannah-and-Pierce glowiness.

I lay my hand over his heart, feeling its steady beat, and the soft rise and fall of his chest.

“Happy belated birthday, Goddess.” Kai kissed the top of my head and my chest tightened. He hadn’t called me by my pet name since we’d learned of Persephone’s betrayal. “I got you a present, you know.”

I rolled over, hoping the delighted grin on my face would extend to real joy in my heart. “Really? Well, hand it over. Don’t waste more time.”

He laughed and the sound shot straight to my toes. God, had I missed knowing how much I amused him.

“I already did. I let Festos and Theo live even though I wanted to fling them off you while you were dancing.”

“That’s not a present, you caveman.” I smacked him. “I knew you were at the club. Big coward, not facing me.”

“I expected you to find me.”

I gagged at the stupendous arrogance. That’s what I got for dating a god. “I tried.” There was a lot Kai didn’t know. And I realized that I’d better catch him up.

To say that Kai was displeased—about my visions, me constantly hearing “All You Need Is Love”, Festos coming with us to do a cleansing ritual while we held off all the minions in existence—would not accurately describe the glowery scowl of doom that seemed permanently etched on his face.

I decided not to mention my belief that I was no longer the Goddess of Spring and more the Goddess of Bah, Who Needs That Silly Season Anyhow?

We needed to get back to Festos’ and speak with him and Theo. But I wasn’t leaving without my present. I poked Kai. “If I am psychically intuiting my imminent death, then this would be a great time to give me my gift.”

Kai looked at me with both fondness and frustration. I could live with that. He leaned over to reach under the bed. I enjoyed the view of his back muscles rippling in the process. When he rolled back up, he held a poorly gift-wrapped box out to me.

I took it and frowned. “It’s wrapped in Kleenex.”

He shrugged. “Wrapping is wrapping.”

“And duct tape.”

Another shrug. He really didn’t get it.

But there was a present of some sort under there, so I ripped into it with nails, teeth, and a bit of viney light, eventually prying off the lid.

Inside was a bright red T-shirt with the word
Phospherocious
spelled out in glittery silver letters. I stared blankly at it.

“It’s because all your power names suck,” he explained.

I still didn’t get it.

“You come up with the worst names for your light.” Kai grinned, excitedly. “Then I thought, why not combine the word ‘phosphorus’ from the Ancient Greek for ‘bearer of light’ with ‘ferocious’, because when you wield your power you get all kick-ass. Which is hot. So you’re phospherocious.”

He sat back and waited expectantly for me to say something.

I stared at the shirt again. “You got me a T-shirt with a made up superpower name for my birthday?”

His grin faltered. “Was that wrong?”

“Are you kidding me?” I screeched. “Polar opposite of wrong!” I bounced up and down on the bed to appropriately display my enthusiasm for this most awesome of gifts.

Kai’s eyes flared at the sight of all my soft jiggling bits.

I stopped and leaned forward. “Kai?”

His face broke into a wolfish grin. “Yes?”

I was suddenly very conscious of how short my dress was and how very close my boyfriend was. “Got a pair of sweats I can borrow?” His crestfallen face made me laugh. “I want to try on the T-shirt, but not over this dress.”

Kai looked horrified. “I don’t own sweats.”

“Oh, whatever.”

Kai grumbled, but he rooted around in one of his cupboards and pulled out a pair of jeans. I motioned for him to turn around.

He leaned back against his elbows with a look of unholy glee.

Not fazed in the least, I shimmied into the jeans while still wearing the dress. I had to roll them up and use the belt already conveniently threaded through the loops, but they stayed put.

I wasn’t wearing a bra, though, and I wasn’t giving Kai his own personal peep show right now. We had to get back to Fee’s. Instead, I did the most awkward maneuver—pulling the T-shirt over my head to cover me, and then wiggling out of the dress before finally stuffing my arms into the shirtsleeves.

Kai gave a resigned sigh.

I looked down at it in sheer delight. It rocked. Even though the cotton was thick, it had that gone-through-a-billion-washings softness to it. And it fitted me to a T, pun intended. It also went very well with the cuff Hannah had given me. “I think the silver glitter brings out my eyes,” I said, beaming down at myself.

I was so phospherocious, it was insane.

“I like you in my clothes,” Kai said.

I grinned and launched myself at him. “I love you.”

Kai yanked me close by my shirt front. “You and me? We’re unstoppable.”

And in that moment, I chose to believe that we were.

***

I tried valiantly to remember that feeling later in the evening, as Kai and I faced Festos and Theo. Their club gear was gone. They were back in their regular casual clothes, and looking grim.

Kai had brought me back a few hours earlier. We’d updated the guys, and waited anxiously while the two went to Eleusis to check out the new ward for themselves.

“There’s no way to break it,” Theo said.

“You’re positive? You checked it from every angle?” Losing the war because we were essentially locked out of the ritual location? Lamest defeat ever, and not going to happen.

“Trust us.” Festos sank onto the chair beside me. He moved more slowly and, I could tell, painfully, from his night of dancing without a cane. He used it now and it clattered to the floor as he lay his head down on the table. He had a smear of dirt on his cheek. “We examined it thoroughly.”