My Name Is River Blue (14 page)

That first day
that Papa and I played in the park and ate lunch at McDonald's,  I believed
that he genuinely wanted to be my friend, but I was not ready to trust him
enough to invest my feelings in another relationship with an adult that would
eventually go bad. Since Papa had the money and the desire to make my life
better, I stuck with my idea of playing along for the potential benefit to me.
I planned to behave around him like the good kid he wanted me to be and see
what I got out of it. I was aware of how wrong and selfish I was, but after the
way some adults had treated me, I justified my behavior as a way of protecting
me and evening the score.

***

With lunch at
Mickey D's and a good conversation behind us, Papa found a spot with enough
room and recruited a stray kid he knew to play my receiver. Papa gave me tips
on how to play the quarterback position with a focus on passing the football.
He taught me how to take the snap from under center or from the shotgun. He
patiently showed me the proper footwork, grip, stance, arm motion, and release.
As I built on what I had learned from Marcus and the peewee league, it all came
easy to me, and I could see the excitement in Papa's eyes. He heaped praise on
me, saying that I was a good athlete and a fast learner. He even said that in
his whole life of observing many boys as they learned the game that there were
only one or two kids who came close to my natural ability.

Later that
afternoon, Papa introduced me to some boys who would be playing football for my
junior high school, and we joined them for a game of touch. I quarterbacked for
one team, and towards the end of the game, I was hitting the receivers in the
hands with the ball no matter what pattern they ran or how far it was. I had a
good sense of when the other team was rushing in on me from my blind side, and
I usually scrambled out of trouble and threw the ball on the run before they
could tag me. Papa was impressed with my arm strength when I passed, but he
also liked my speed when I ran the ball. It was hard for a single kid to catch
me.

The boys were as
complimentary of my athleticism as Papa was, and they were very friendly. Several
of them told me that they knew me from school and had avoided me because of the
rumors that I had choked Kevin Schultz. None of them liked the bully, but at
the same time, they didn't want to be my next victim. After playing ball with
me and realizing that I was not a psychotic killer, they suggested that I play
in their pickup football games during the summer and try out for the junior
high team in August. I enjoyed the camaraderie and inclusion that I tasted that
day in the park, and I began to learn that athletic skill often trumped
prejudice in the South.

I was surprised
that the guys offered to save me a lunchroom seat with the team when we
returned to school. While I liked the sound of the invitation to sit with the
jocks, it sounded too good to be true. I decided to tread carefully in case it
was a set up to make me look foolish for thinking I fit in with the popular
boys. It had happened to me when I was in elementary school prior to Stockwell,
and I understood that kids could be cruel to someone they considered different.

When my day in the
park with Papa was over, and it was time for me to begin my walk back to Tolley
House, he volunteered to give me a ride since he took that direction to go home
to his Deer Lake Farm. I was tired, and I wanted to ride with him, but the
Mackeys had a rule against me riding with anyone but Miss Martin or them.

"I can't
take rides without my guardians' permission," I explained. I was still
afraid that the Mackeys might use the excuse to ground me from visiting the
park.

"I
understand," said Papa. "Let's go to my truck and call them."

I was surprised that
Papa knew the number to Tolley House and spoke to Jenny Mackey as if they were much
closer friends than I thought they were.

"Hey, Jenny.
It's Ray Long here. How are you, girl? I'm good as grits, young lady. Listen,
I'm calling to get permission to drive River home." Papa listened a moment
and then chuckled. "No, everything's fine. He's a good kid. I want to give
him a ride and talk to you and Hal about an opportunity for him. Is it okay? Good.
I'm going to put you on with River, so he knows he has permission."

I listened to
Jenny say it was fine for me to ride with Papa. When the man took the phone again,
I could still only hear his part of the conversation. "Jenny, everything
is
fine
. We spent the day together, and he was well behaved. No laws
broken and no one injured. Okay, see you in a bit." Papa ended the call,
grinned, and rolled his eyes at me as if he were a kid making fun of his
mother.

As we crawled
into Papa's Ford F-150 truck, he told me that he had known Hal and Jenny all of
their lives, and that he had worked with a few of their former foster boys who
had played sports. Two of the boys had also participated in the Harper Springs
Youth Mentoring program. I wasn't surprised that he wasn't working with any of
my current house brothers who were more interested in hustling weed.

Papa mentioned working
with Miss Martin to help foster boys, and the way he talked gave me the idea that
they were close friends, maybe close enough that she might have put him up to
befriending me. I wondered if meeting Papa was a coincidence or part of a
conspiracy.

In the Tolley
House kitchen, the Mackeys and I sat at the table and listened to Papa. First,
he wanted me to join him in the park the following morning to meet Coach
Riddle, the junior high football coach. Papa said that after the coach timed me
around the track and saw a demonstration of my skills, that he would want me to
join his team when practice started in August. Papa made a bold statement when
he told the Mackeys that with the right training, I could be a high school football
star, good enough to win a college scholarship. My mind was still trying to
comprehend winning a scholarship when he jumped to part two of his reason for
speaking with the Mackeys.

Papa believed
that I could benefit from participating in the mentoring program in which a man
served as a role model and advisor to a boy, who needed the attention, and he added
that he would be glad to take the part of my mentor. Hal Mackey asked me if I
would give the adults some time alone to discuss the offer, and I immediately suspected
that Hal was going to give Papa some reasons why he might want to change his
mind. I shot Hal a death stare and swore to myself that if he trashed me to
Papa, I would make his life so miserable that his tranquilizers wouldn't help.

In my room, my
mood turned dark as I imagined Hal telling Papa that he was asking for trouble
if he chose to become my mentor. After I had to threaten my house parents to
get permission just to go to the park, I thought it would be a good time for
Hal to mess with me.

As I waited for
Hal to call me back downstairs, I contemplated the possibilities of my new
relationship with Papa. I enjoyed the older man teaching me and praising me
each time I performed a drill well. I could not remember a time that I had
experienced such a sense of self-worth as I did after only one day of working with
Papa. Still, my cynical side warned me not to want an adult friend so much that
my emotions blinded me.

When Hal Mackey
called me to rejoin them in the kitchen, I found out that my house parents were
not trying to discourage Papa but were giving him their insight on how to help
me. It was up to me to decide if I would accept Papa's offer to continue
working with me on football and to serve as my mentor in the Harper Springs' program.
The Mackeys' behavior reinforced my opinion that Papa was an important man in
the community and that having him for my mentor was a big deal and a good
opportunity for me.

Jenny Mackey, a
petite woman with a kind face and intelligent eyes, watched me carefully as she
spoke to me. "Hal and I have absolute faith in what Papa can mean to the
life of a boy, and it's an honor for you that Papa is offering to serve as your
mentor. We want to know that you will take advantage of the opportunity and not
waste time that Papa could spend with another boy who needs him."

What else would
I say? "I want his help, and I won't waste his time."

Hal, the nerdy
guy, who must have owned a thousand self-help and motivational books, had to
add to Jenny's speech. I often wondered if anyone else ever noticed how he always
had the last word in any conversation in which his wife was involved. I cringed
when I saw his lips move.

"Another
thing, River," said Hal. "You must understand that while Jenny and I
will still be your guardians, we and Miss Martin, will handle things a little
differently if you accept Papa as your mentor. We will all work with Papa, but
he will determine such things as your schedule, permission for any activities,
and your discipline. He will be involved in every aspect of your life,
including such areas as monitoring your progress in school. We believe it's too
confusing for boys in the mentoring program to have too many chiefs directing
them. Do you understand?"

Damn, that man
could talk. I tried to think in simple terms. "So you mean that Papa will
be like another guardian, and I have to do what he says?"

"Well, I
suppose that's a simple way to put it," said Hal. He had a silly way of
looking down his nose through the round lens of his eyeglasses, which he wore as
close as possible to the end of his beak. Any sudden movement of his head would
have sent his specs flying off his face, and if Hal had been a student at my
school, I would have been tempted to thump the back of his head every time I
saw him.

The Mackeys
invited Papa to stay for dinner, and while they were preparing the meal, Papa
and I walked upstairs to my room to discuss the details of our agreement.

Papa proposed
that we spend time together each week as our schedules allowed, which meant I
would have more time in the summer and less when school began. We would be together
at least an hour or two on most days during my summer vacation. Papa promised not
only to help me improve my football skills, but to teach me how to become a responsible
young man and a respected citizen in the community. He wanted to help me develop
characteristics that I would need to be successful in all areas of my life,
including school and football. He spoke quite a bit about me becoming a leader.

To Papa, it was
important that I learn what he called, "The old-fashioned art of behaving
as a gentleman." He promised to correct me when he disapproved of
something I did or said, and he kept his word. I would hear him in my head many
times in the future saying, "Is that how a young gentleman would act?"

Papa further promised
to recognize me for my efforts with rewards such as a fun outing or the purchase
of something I wanted. I asked if new clothes could be a reward, and Papa agreed
that they could. He indicated that he could be generous, but I would have to
follow his rules.

My mentor would not
tolerate cursing, lying, stealing, cheating, or bullying. He intended to
correct me when I used poor grammar, slang, or offensive language. I could not
take part in a fight unless it was a case of self-defense or the defense of
another person in a situation where there was no other choice such as simply
walking away. Showing respect for adults and using the words "sir"
and "ma'am" had to become a habit with me.

Papa insisted
that my studies had to come first before any other activities. He promised me
that if I were doing poorly in school, there would be no time for football until
my grades improved. He also wanted me to learn that it was important to get
along with other people, and that if I ever wanted to be the leader of a
football team, or any other group, my character had to set a good example for
others to follow.

As Hal had already
told me, Papa would be in charge of discipline, and he brought up the subject
to make sure that I understood.

"River, I
will be strict about my expectations for you, and while I will enjoy rewarding
you for good effort, I will discipline you just as quickly for breaking the
rules you agreed to follow. Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah, I'm
okay with it, but can you tell me what the punishments will be?"

Papa gave me a
disapproving look. "What was the proper response to my question?"

It took a few
seconds, but I got it. "I should have started with 'Yes, sir.'"

Papa nodded.
"It will take some work to break bad habits and form new ones."

"Yes, sir.
It will." I grinned at him.

"Discipline
may be in the form of exercise such as pushups and running laps. Maybe running
the steep hill behind my barn. You might get extra chores or lose a fun
activity or reward. I like to see punishment be something productive such as
improving your conditioning with exercise or completing a chore that might
teach you something. Are you okay with everything I've told you?"

"Yes, sir. As
long as I deserve it, I'm good with it."

"River, if
there is ever a time when I say you have earned punishment and you disagree,
tell me. If I can't make you understand, I'll drop it. Is that fair?"

Was Papa real?
"Yes, sir. That's very fair."

Papa kept his
word, and he was a fair man. When my behavior begged for corrective action, he gave
it to me. Sometimes I did extra chores, but usually punishment came in the form
of physical exercise. I ran the big hill behind Papa's first barn until my
lungs burned, and I thought I might hurl. I did pushups until my arms would no
longer support me. The fringe benefit of those punishments was the improvement
in my physical strength and endurance.