My Name Is River Blue (45 page)

"Why? Is
she giving me a ride?" Tyler asked.

"No. She's
coming to give you an option. You have to tell her what you want."

Tyler looked
from Papa to me. "I don't understand."

"Tyler, I
would have told you earlier, but I hated to distract you from camp, especially
when I wasn't sure how things might work until late last night.

"Told me
what?" Tyler was anxious and growing impatient with Papa.

"When I
stopped at your uncle's home to pick you up, I saw a man sitting in the living
room. His name is Garner."

"Yeah, he's
some weird guy my uncle knows," explained Tyler. "He came over twice
that I saw. My uncle made me go to my room once, and last time, he told me to
wait outside for you."

"Well, the
man has a reputation as a drug dealer, and he's served time for that and some
burglaries. I could smell weed from the porch, and when I looked inside, I saw
all I needed to see on the coffee table before Garner could hide it. After we
got home that night, I called the sheriff and told him that Garner was back in
business. Two nights ago, they busted him and your uncle for possession with
intent to distribute. With some checking, the sheriff discovered that your uncle
violated his parole from Alabama, and along with the new charges, he will be
serving a stiff sentence."

"Dang, so
what's that mean for me, Papa?"

"Well, it
means that you have to have another guardian and another home."

"I'm going
back to Tolley House?"

Papa shook his
head. "No, you were only there temporarily, and Miss Martin told me that
they moved two new boys into your old room, so there's no spot for you
anyway."

Tyler was
disappointed. "At least I know Jenny and Hal. It'll suck to get used to a
new place."

"Maybe
not," said Papa. "Miss Martin is going to ask you how you would feel
about living here."

Tyler's eyes
brightened. He was excited even though he knew that Papa only took boys on a temporary
basis until there was a permanent placement for them. "That's awesome. I
hope they don't find another place anytime soon."

"Tyler, how
would you feel about making this your permanent home?"

Tyler's mouth
hung open as Papa's words registered with him. "You mean live here and
never have to move again? And you would always be my guardian?"

"That's
what I mean. This would be your home for as long as you wanted. I would be your
guardian and after a few months, if we both were satisfied, I could adopt you
and legally make you my son. Only if you wanted."

Tyler sprang out
of his seat, knocking his chair over backwards on his way around the table
where he jumped into Papa's arms. I was glad that Tyler would have a good life,
and I thought he would be good for Papa as well.

Tyler suddenly
looked concerned. He whispered something in Papa's ear.

"Why don't
you ask him?" Papa suggested.

Tyler turned
back to me. "River, are you okay with having me here?"

"I guess I
am," I said. "You've annoyed me for months, but I suppose as long as
we're making a little family here that I could do worse for a little
brother."

"Gee, thanks
for the endorsement, River." Tyler rolled his eyes and grinned.

Papa explained
why he was in a better position to keep a foster child than he had been in the
past. "I used to worry about having a permanent foster kid because of
times I would be gone on business. Now River can help me in addition to Manny and
the rest of the farm staff."

"Thank you.
Both of you," said Tyler. "I was thinking last night about how cool
it would be to live here with you guys and be part of a family that we all
wanted."

"I couldn't
be happier," said Papa. "Manny and the rest of the staff feel the
same way."

Tyler and Papa
hugged as if they were trying to squeeze the life out of each other, and the
expressions of happiness on their faces made my eyes water. When Tyler turned
to hug me, I warned him to go easy. Before he let me go, he stood on his
tiptoes and whispered something only I could hear.

"Don't
worry, River. I'll still take care of you when Papa is away on business. It'll
be our secret."

I did my best to
look threatening but it didn't work.

***

Tuesday
afternoon, Papa looked on as I did the farm supply order on his office
computer. I was trying to get as much work done as possible that day because
Carlee and I were going on our camping trip the following afternoon. I had just
submitted the order when I heard a car crunching the gravel of the circular drive
in front of Papa's house.

"Sounds
like we have company," I said. I stood up from my chair at the desk and
looked out the window. "It's Coach Haney and Principal Wilson. Were you
expecting them?"

"Yup,"
answered Papa. "You take your seat, and I'll get the door. They're here to
see you."

"Me? Why?"

Papa answered me
with a sly smile. He opened the door for my visitors who were there to open a
much bigger door for me.

***

Wednesday
afternoon, I enjoyed Carlee's reaction to our Deer Lake campsite and its
surroundings. Lewis and Tyler had just left after hauling the camping equipment
and supplies to the lake and setting up our camp. They pitched the tent and
then gathered rocks and wood for our fire so that there was no strenuous work left
for me. We had all used the farm's golf carts to reach the lake, as it was
easier to carry supplies and less stress on me than riding Ace or walking the
long distance. When we were ready to go home, we would call the farm so that
Lewis and Tyler could return and break down the camp.

For three days, Carlee
and I would be alone at the lake, and I was happier that afternoon than I had
been at any time since the accident. If it were true that a person who had
passed could somehow watch over people, I knew that Ant Jefferson was laughing
at me. Ant had insisted all through high school that Carlee would eventually
get her way, because it was his theory that men were defenseless against a
female who was both intelligent and hot.

Carlee and I quietly
shared a large, smooth rock on the bank of the lake. We heard the songs of
wrens and sparrows, flitting from perch to perch in the pines to our right and the
manic chattering of two squirrels chasing each other around the huge oak that
shaded our tent. Behind us, a steady rustling of leaves and limbs heralded a
light breeze sifting through the woods and cooling us as it passed. Every few
seconds, a fish made a soft plopping sound when it sucked down an insect from
the surface of the lake.

Enjoying the
clean, pine-scented air, Carlee suggested that we build a small cabin and live
together at the lake year round. I smiled and told her it was a good idea. So
good that I had the same thought a second before she suggested it.

"Could you
do without electricity and indoor plumbing?" I asked.

"Would I be
with you every day?"

I smiled and
kissed her nose. "Definitely."

"Then those
other things aren't a priority." She kissed my lips lightly, pulled back,
and then teased with her naive, little girl voice. "Do I need electricity
to watch
Oprah
?"

I laughed and hugged
her closer to me. As much as I loved her at that moment, it was difficult to
understand how we could have wasted so much time apart. One thing I did
eventually admit is that our fights were not all Carlee's fault. No matter how
much I wanted to feel like the victim, I was not blameless.

During all the
hours she stayed with me during my long recovery from the accident, I grew to
love the new independent Carlee, who had fearlessly ditched her parents'
influence and determined her own path to the future she wanted. Her parents had
not yet admitted defeat, but Carlee had won the battle against her domineering
father and her snobbish mother. Her parents needed only to decide if they
wanted to be a part of Carlee's new life. I was proud of Carlee, and I could
easily admit that she had worked much harder to overcome her background than I
had.

I realized that
I had been as judgmental as Carlee had. I grew up with a natural resentment for
rich kids whose parents spoiled them in ways that were not possible for a kid
in state care. When I discovered that they were living in a ritzy neighborhood,
I was even jealous of my own half brothers because their parents gave them much
more than I ever had. Was it fair of me to judge all advantaged kids the same
way when they had no more control over the circumstances of their childhoods
than I did?

When I glanced
at Carlee, who acted perfectly content to be alone with me at the lake, I wondered
if she really wanted me as much as I wanted her. I needed her to want me the
way she did that first time, long ago, when we kissed under the gazebo behind
her house. There were times when I worried that the accident had changed things
too much and that she would eventually see that I wasn't good enough for her.

I was staring
across the lake when Carlee took my right hand into both of hers. "River,
thanks again for sharing this place with me. I know this is where you and Ant
went to get away from town, football, and probably bratty girls like Tina and
me. I hope being here is not too hard for you."

I gently
squeezed her hand. "In the beginning, I was trying not to think of him so
much, but it's okay now. When I visited his grave, it wasn't as bad as I
thought it would be. I think it even helped. I want to remember the good times
I had with Ant and coming back here makes me appreciate how special our
friendship was. I was wrong to try to forget that."

Carlee approved.
"I think that's a healthy way to deal with your grief. You know, to focus
on the good memories."

I grinned. "More
Oprah
."

Carlee giggled
and leaned into me, placing her head on my shoulder. "Don't make fun of my
shows. They're very informative. Just be glad I'm not into those shows about
husbands impregnating their mothers-in-law. Tina loves it when the women fight
in front of an audience."

"I haven't
watched many TV shows of any kind," I said. "I never had a TV in any
of my rooms. At Tolley House, we watched rental movies or borrowed ones from
the library. At the farm, Ant and I used to watch football with Papa and Manny.
Sometimes we watched a movie, but it was rare."

"You should
buy a TV, Coach Blue. You can afford one now."

"The job
doesn't seem real yet. I tried to find some reason that it wouldn't work, but
between Papa, Coach Haney, and Mr. Wilson, they had all the answers. I just
hope I can get my degree, or I'll always be stuck as the lowest paid assistant
coach and aide to the shop instructor. I want to grow as a coach and have a
goal. Head coach would be nice one day, but all that depends on my physical
progress. For now, there's no way I could handle long work days."

"River,
you'll do fine in college and in the mean time, you'll get a lot of experience
coaching so that when you get your degree, you'll be prepared for other
opportunities that come your way. I'll help you any way I can."

"When will
you tell your father that you're not going to Vandy?"

Carlee frowned
as if she had swallowed a fly. "I guess I'll tell him when they come back
from Hawaii. He'll blow, especially when I say I'm going to BCC with you. I
hope Papa was serious about letting me live with you guys. I have money in
savings, but I don't want to waste the money on rent, and I'm not sure I would
like living alone either."

"Papa was
serious, and I want you with us no matter what your father says."

"We'll have
to see about that." She smirked and abruptly changed the subject. "Is
the water cold?"

"Not when
the weather's warm like it is today. Ant and I used to skinny dip here sometimes
when we camped. Max swam with us a few times. He claimed that the water was no
colder than his swimming pool at home."

"He told me
a hundred times how much fun he had with you guys." Carlee threw on a
phony pout. "That's not fair that Max got to have all that fun and not
me."

I couldn't help
grinning as I made her an offer. "I agree, but you're here now. If you
want to go skinny dipping, there's nothing stopping you."

Carlee pulled her
head away from my shoulder and met my eyes. "And I suppose you think I
won't?"

I intended my
comment as a tease, but Carlee didn't take it that way. "I wasn't trying
to goad you into anything, Carlee."

"I think I
would like a new experience, and it's all we have for a bath, right?"

My mouth was
instantly dry. "Yeah, but I can stay in the tent or walk down the trail
while you bathe. You can have your privacy."

"I think
we'll skinny dip," decided Carlee. "It sounds fun and liberating, but
I'm not trying to
goad you into anything
."

"My PT
assigned exercises for me to do in the therapy pool. Maybe you could help
me."