“No. He...we...” Minette could never explain how she’d lost her virginity without sounding daft. “We coupled together once, but he thought I was someone else. It was dark and he was a little drunk.”
“I see.”
“This necessitated our marriage.”
“I had already worked that out. So, you need some advice on how to entice your husband?”
“Yes. Perhaps if you have any pamphlets on the matter, it would be less awkward all around.” Minette’s cheeks were so hot she thought she must resemble a beet.
“I’m afraid I don’t have any pamphlets, excepting some on the prevention of venereal disease.” At Minette’s blank look, Esme chuckled. “I don’t suppose you know what those are. Good for you. But my dear, there must be a little awkwardness, or I should say, vulnerability if you are to get anywhere in ‘bedroom matters.’”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
Esme thought a moment, and took a sip of tea. “I suppose what I mean to say is that desire is not a nice, neat thing, like a pamphlet. It’s something that must be poked and fed and tended to, like a fire.”
Minette could not hold her gaze. She was so much wiser, this woman. She knew everything about desire, while Minette knew almost nothing, except that she desired August above all things. “And how do you...poke that kind of...fire?” asked Minette.
“You wish me to tell you, ‘caress him here,’ or ‘kiss him there’ or ‘whisper this in his ear,’ but I can’t say what will melt the ice between you and your husband. You must come to know him yourself. You must observe and experiment until you discover what he likes.”
“But you already know,” said Minette in despair. “He’s been coming to you for years. How can I ever catch up?” Tears rose in her eyes, and she dabbed them away as furtively as she could.
“Don’t get upset,” Esme said, refilling her tea. “Yes, I know what Lord August likes from me. That doesn’t mean he won’t want very different things from you. If you behave just as I do, and mimic the tricks I do with him, then Lord August will feel as if he’s lying down with Dirty Esmeralda rather than Lady Augustine.”
“You do tricks?” Minette threw up her hands. “It’s hopeless. I can’t do any tricks at all. I suppose he’ll continue coming to you since I can’t ever hope to attain your level of expertise.” She got to her feet, and set her tea cup on the tray. Tears spilled onto her cheeks. “Oh, this is terrible. I shouldn’t have come. I feel even more discouraged than I felt before. No, I’m not angry at you,” she said, as Esme rose and came to her. “You’re so much nicer than I expected you to be. I don’t blame you for refusing to help me. It’s only that I love him so much, and I want him to want me. What on earth is to be done?”
Through all this blathering and crying, Esme set Minette back down, and sat next to her, and took her hand.
“I’m not refusing to help,” she said when Minette had calmed a little. “I suppose it wouldn’t be amiss to teach you a few erotic tricks. What do you know of the more adventurous side of lovemaking? Do you read the right sort of books?”
Minette blinked at her. “I read romantic novels.”
“Romantic novels won’t teach you what men really need. I have a better sort of book which I can loan you, about the sublime art of pleasuring men. And finding pleasure yourself, which is also important. Do you ever stroke yourself, Minette? Stroke your kitty?”
Minette thought a moment. “I stroked your kitty. That lovely white one.”
“My dear, that is not the kitty I mean. I’m speaking of the pussy between your legs. Do you play with it and make it purr now and again?”
Minette flushed as she remembered her night with Lord August, the way he’d stroked and kissed her there, and made it feel so hot and tingly. “I... Well...”
“There’s nothing wrong with admitting you do. At least to me.”
My goodness, this conversation had rather taken a turn. “I suppose I have become a bit more aware lately of...that kitty.”
“When you are near Lord August? When he glances at you, or smiles at you?” Esme looked pleased. “That’s an excellent harbinger.”
“A harbinger of what?”
“Marital bliss, my dear. If he makes you feel excited, that’s half the battle. The other half is making him feel excited.”
“Yes, that’s the reason I’m here, even though August would kill me if he knew. You won’t tell him, will you?” she asked in an aside. “He can be awfully unreasonable when it comes to my behavior.”
“He spanks you, doesn’t he?”
Minette felt embarrassed to confirm such a fact, but Esme obviously knew. “Yes, and I don’t like it very much.”
“He probably likes it more than you do,” she muttered under her breath. “But let’s stay on topic, shall we?”
“Yes, please. There must be a way to seem less sisterly to him.”
“Oh, there are many ways. Let’s start with your face.”
“My face?” Minette had never thought of one’s face as a very erotic thing, but perhaps that was the problem. Esme’s face did communicate a certain lavish sensuality.
“When you speak to your husband, particularly just before bed,” she said, “you should meet his gaze very directly, and make your eyes soft. Tilt your chin a little, so you seem a bit more saucy.” Esme watched as Minette attempted this. “No, don’t clamp your lips together. Leave them soft, like your eyes. Leave your mouth partly open.”
Minette attempted this too. Esme shook her head and laughed.
“Not wide open. That will suggest something else altogether. No, just slightly open. Tempt and tease. This must be your new motto, Minette. Slightly-open lips might tempt your husband into a kiss. Tease him with a sigh and a shiver, and he won’t be able to resist. No, not quite so dramatic a sigh, and you have lost the softness about your mouth. You must make your lips loose and kissable.”
Minette tried to follow her instructions, but she felt rather ridiculous.
“It takes practice,” said Esme. “You must work on it in your looking glass. Once you have the expression right, then you can move on to sending the correct signals with your posture and positioning. You know how you have always been taught to sit up straight, and keep your knees together, and preserve a proper distance between you and a gentleman?”
Minette nodded.
“In the case of your husband, you must disregard all of that. You see”—Esme sat up very straight, away from Minette—“this is a proper distance.” She slouched closer to Minette, so her bosom brushed against her arm, and her lips were rather alarmingly close to Minette’s. “This is an improper distance. It lets a husband know that it’s perfectly all right to touch you. In fact, if you combine it with the appropriate expression and body language, he may kiss you then and there, and take you in his arms.”
“Do you think so?” Minette could so easily picture it. She’d dreamed it a thousand times. “So I must tempt and tease, and be seductive.”
“Yes, mercilessly seductive. If you’re having trouble getting into a seductive mood, think about stroking your kitty, and how pleasant it makes you feel. Better yet, do it in reality, just before you go to dinner, or the opera, or whenever you’re going to be around Lord August. Men have a very good sense for when a woman is aroused. It tends to arouse them in turn.”
“Oh. Why, that’s so very simple. I’ve been too proper around him, I suppose, in an attempt to be a respectable wife.”
“You mustn’t be too respectable, my dear. It’s the kiss of death when it comes to exciting your husband. You surely know that from your romantic novels.”
“None of the people in those books are married. At least, not until the end, but by then, the story is already over.”
Esme patted her hand. “In real life, your story is just beginning. Lord Augustine is a good sort of man, and I wish both of you much happiness. Just think in your mind that you are sensual and exciting, and that he excites you, and don’t hesitate to show it. Can you do that?”
“Yes, I’m going to try.” Minette tried not to blush. She must be bolder from now on, and not so prim and respectable. “I can’t wait to try all these tricks you’ve told me. It might even be fun.”
“Of course it will be fun.” Esme gave her a genuine smile. “Now, would you like to borrow those books I told you about? I have a few that are much more instructive than a pamphlet.”
Esme was teasing her about the pamphlet. Why, it was as if they were friends. Not that they could really be friends, society being what it was, but Minette was grateful for her warmth and encouragement. “I would love to borrow the books, if you think they will help.”
Esme’s brown eyes sparkled. “I think they’ll help very much. Wait here, if you please.”
The woman left the room and came back a short time later with four volumes, some slim, some a little thicker. She laid them in Minette’s lap. “You see they are all illustrated, to make it easier to envision the author’s advice.”
Minette opened the top book and leafed through the first few pages. Oh my. She began to flush all over again. Why, the drawings went a bit beyond lewd into the realm of shocking.
“Perhaps it will seem disturbing to view such things and read more explicit texts, but I daresay Lord Augustine will thank you for it. I assure you he’s read similar books, and all gentlemen are aroused by the acts depicted therein.”
“Are they really?” Minette turned the book sideways, trying to figure out what the gentleman was doing to the lady in the picture.
Tempt and tease, and be seductive.
If Lord August craved salacious acts, then my goodness, she would learn about them for his happiness. No one could accuse her of not trying hard enough. She’d do anything to win his heart.
“Dear Esme,” she said. “I hate to trouble you, but can you have these books delivered to Barrymore House later today? I don’t dare bring them in the carriage. I was supposed to be at the milliner’s, and my maid is waiting for me. Wrap them in paper, if you please, addressed to Lady Augustine, and then I’ll have them delivered back to you once I’ve read them.”
“That sounds fine. Include a note, please, about how your new tactics have worked, and if you have any more questions. I have a great fondness for Lord Augustine, and if you love him as much as you say you do, I can only wish you well.”
Minette gazed back at the woman. She didn’t want her to have a fondness for her husband, but she supposed it couldn’t be helped. She wanted to beg her not to see him ever again, but that would sound silly and sad, and so she bit her tongue and gave her the address of the house so the books might be delivered. She’d taken far longer here than she intended. She was glad when she returned to the coach that the maid had been too lazy and cold to set out after her.
She was also glad the cold weather served as a believable excuse for the lingering redness in her cheeks.
As soon as they got home, Minette sent her lady’s maid away, pretending to need a nap. Instead, she practiced her seductive expressions in the looking glass for nearly an hour. She came to understand it had very much to do with relaxation, with releasing tensions, and letting her mouth and eyes go soft. She thought of the scandalous pictures in the books Esme promised to send, and her insistence that August would find such interactions enticing. Minette would study those books until she knew everything and anything a woman could do for her husband’s pleasure, and he would surely reciprocate by giving her pleasure too.
Why, he had given her pleasure that night at the Townsends’, at least until the point he had thrust inside her and shocked her sensibilities. He had roused her so thoroughly that her body had shattered into ecstasy. She didn’t admit it to Esme, but she did indeed stroke her kitty sometimes, when she remembered August kissing her and touching her, and licking her there. She peered into the looking glass and drew up her gown, and put her fingertips on that warm, sensitive place. She stroked it as he’d stroked it, with a light, teasing touch, as she gazed at her reflection. Oh, it did make her eyes go soft and needy. She drew in a soft breath through parted lips.
A knock at the door had her pushing her skirts back down again. “What is it?” she called out.
“A message, my lady.”
The books must have arrived. Minette went to the door and opened it to find a footman with a note, rather than a parcel. She took it from the man, broke the seal, and opened it.
I require you in the study at once.
A.
A for August. Well, a summons from her husband was even better than the books. She was eager to practice her seductive wiles. She’d just been touching her kitty, further fixing her in the proper mood. “Let him know I shall be down shortly,” she told the servant.
*** *** ***
August paced the floor of his study until he heard Minette’s knock at the door. She knocked again then, a bit louder.
“Come in,” he barked. “It’s half open, and you live here, for heaven’s sake.”
He blew out a breath. He mustn’t let his temper get the better of him, not until he heard her side of things. Although he didn’t know what she might say to exonerate herself, since the books that had been delivered to his neighbor were wrapped in brown paper with her name clearly written on the front.
She came into the room with an odd sort of slow, fluttering walk. What was wrong with her? And did she have an eyelash in both eyes? She was blinking and staring at him in the strangest, gawking way. “Good afternoon,” she said, coming so close to him that he had to take a step back. There was something unnatural about her smile, her expression. She stared at him, her mouth ajar.
“Have you been drinking?” he asked her sharply.
“No.” She took another step closer. He tilted up her chin and studied her eyes. She wasn’t drunk, no. He couldn’t smell spirits on her breath, but she was acting damned peculiar. “You wanted to speak with me?” she asked.
He took another step back. “I most certainly did want to speak with you. Our neighbor has just brought over these books, which he nearly gave to his daughter, Lady Augusta. She is seven years old.”
His wife looked at the plain-covered volumes and blushed, and swallowed hard. “Oh. That would have been unfortunate.”
“Can you explain why this might have happened?” He thought he sounded very calm, considering the state of his angst.