My Once and Future Love (11 page)

“Honestly, he’s too good for ‘em,” she
shouted over the music.

“Who?”

“That one and that one,” she said, pointing
to the bassist and drummer. “Neither one can keep time.”

And I thought the cacophony was intentional.
Learn something new every day.

Some girl in the front of the mosh pit passed
Jacob a slip of paper during the interlude. He winked at her and
stuck it in his pocket.

Bastard
.
Back to friends for mere
hours
and he was already flirting with new girls. Guess that
proved what he felt for me, huh?

Just big, fat, lust
.

Yay, me.

****

He could feel her eyes on him, but refused to
look. He wasn’t going to let her toy with his heart until she
figured out what she wanted. This afternoon’s pain proved there was
a name for what he felt—love.

Terrifying, heart-consuming love. It snuck up
on him, then whacked him in the head like a hammer. This week had
been the catalyst for knowledge, but not the emotion. She’d been
making a home inside him since the day he walked into her
kitchen.

Four years. But it wasn’t the right time. He
couldn’t make her try.

They finished the set and he threw his guitar
pick into the crowd and escaped backstage.

“Nice job, gentlemen. I’ll have the proofs
for ya in a couple days,” Kit said. She handed him a beer.

“Thanks, love.” He took a long swig, feeling
parched. “Beth still here?”

“Somewhere.” She finished handing out drinks
and left.

They were the last band for the night, so the
club was playing piped-in music now. The mosh pit had dispersed,
leaving couples slow-dancing on the floor. No immediate sign of his
girl. He didn’t want to walk out into the main room, since the
birds at this club tended to swarm him, so with a curse, he exited
the building out the back.

Beth stood by the curb talking to the
bouncer.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hi. Going home?”

He turned to his band-mates coming out the
same way. “Don’t know.”

“Ah. Well, goodnight.” She smiled at the
bouncer, who’d flagged her cab a few feet down the street.

“Wait.” Jacob slid in after her before she
could close the door.

“What are you doing?”

“You tell me.”

“I really do have to leave tomorrow,” she
whispered.

“That’s tomorrow.” He touched her cheek. “I
know you, love. You aren’t goin’ to sleep a wink when you’re
worried, so why suffer insomnia alone?”

She glanced away and sniffed. “You’re a good
friend.”

Friend… Right. He gave the cabbie his address
and settled back in the seat, the soft case for his guitar between
his legs. She stayed on her side, her face turned to the
window.

He sighed. It was going to be a long
night…

****

Jacob was too sweet to offer to keep me
company. I didn’t deserve it. I’d hurt him this afternoon, yet here
he was, still supportive.

“You should be celebrating with the band. It
was a great gig.”

“It was alright.”

“The applause was deafening.”

He cracked a grin. “Yeah, it was. Though that
crowd would cheer on a foghorn by ten o’clock, they’re so
knackered.”

“Knackered?”

“Hammered. Drunk. Three sheets to the
wind.”

“Got it. Still fun, though, right?” Least I
could do was try to cheer him up.

“As long as we don’t get booed.”

I shifted a little to face him. “Kit said you
could use some better back-up.”

“Huh.”

“She had a lot to say about working in that
kind of lighting, and I got to play with her camera a little. It
was cool.”

“Glad you had a good time.” He smiled at me,
first I’d seen all day.

It still did things to my tummy. The car
stopped in front of his building. I paid the cabbie.

“Went to the market this mornin’,” Jacob
said, unlocking the door to the lobby.

“How grown up,” I teased. It got me an eye
roll.

He pushed the button for the elevator. “They
finally fixed the lift.”

“Cool.” I hoped it’d been fixed
well
.

It opened on the third floor without
incident. Once more to 3B—had I been here since my drunken attempt
to seduce him? Insane that was only a week ago.

He let us in and set the guitar on its stand.
“Thirsty?”

“Water’s fine. I’m going to use your
bathroom. Promise not to make it smell like vomit.”

“Ha, ha.”

Whoa, he cleaned. Actually frickin’
cleaned
.
The room wasn’t going to look new due to its age,
but it was clean and tidy.

“It looks nice,” I told him when I came
out.

“Couldn’t sleep last night.” He nodded to a
glass of water. “Want a sandwich?”

“Maybe later.” I took my water and sat on his
futon.

He went all out, toasting the bread, then
using mayonnaise, mustard, and piling on cold cuts from three
packages. Amazed me the man could keep a thirty-inch waist with how
much he ate. He grabbed a bottled beer and brought his plate to the
futon. The TV clicked on a second later. Sports channel.

Sitting quietly while he unwound from the
gig, I watched him eat, the chewing motion making his cheekbones
stand out. He wore a white tank tonight with an unbuttoned black
short-sleeve shirt over it. The shirt had been absent during the
concert, the girls in the audience drooling over his defined arms.
He only got more gorgeous with every year, and I wondered how long
it’d be before he got mobbed by fangirls everywhere.

I wished I could doze off. It’d let both of
us off the hook for making conversation.

“I still have the pics in my bag.” My bag was
on my lap, so I pulled out the envelope.

“Oh?”

“You left them last night.”

“Oh.” He took it from me, setting his plate
on the coffee table.

“I ordered four-by-six prints. Normally get
the three-by-five, but they’re kind of small for portraits.” Please
stop me from babbling
.

He started flipping through the photos,
holding the stack by the edges. It surprised me he remembered not
to leave fingerprints. It’d been two years since I showed him my
work.

“A lot of me in here.”

I blushed. “You’re the only one I know.” Only
one I wanted
.
“I know they’re not as good as Kit’s--”

“They’re fine, love.”

Fine. Fine… “Just fine?”

He let out a breath. “Actually, they’re
pretty damn flattering.”

“Really?”

“I’m singin’ and there’s not a single shot
where I look weird.”

“I had a good subject.”

He looked up then. “Beth, your timing and
choices are excellent. You’re goin’ to knock the professors’ socks
off.”

“Don’t know about that. I’m still not as good
as Mom.” If she’ll be around long enough to teach me.

“You’ll learn.”

Reaching the end, he slid the prints back in
the envelope and tried to give it back to me. I stopped his
hand.

“Those are your copies.”

“Thanks.”

Now what?

He rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous
gesture. “Uh, did you see anything interesting today?”

“Well, it’s all new to me, but aside from
Kit’s blue and black streaks in her hair, not really. I just
wandered. Listened.”

“Ah. What did the city say?”

I smiled. “That I cannot comprehend all its
wonders in one trip and it’d be foolish to try. That includes
you.”

He tilted his head, curious. “I’m a
wonder?”

“Stop fishing,” I teased. “But, in that I
feel humbled and inadequate, yeah.”

He frowned. “Beth, I’ve never thought of you
as
lacking
. I’m just as flawed as the next bloke.” Sighing,
he added, “I don’t get you sometimes. You simultaneously put me on
a pedestal and point out my cock-ups, and it’s not fair. If you
want to be with me, you’re gonna have to stop wrapping yourself in
thorns.”

“Nice word image there.”

“I’m serious.”

I put my hand on his knee to stop him getting
up. “I know. I’m sorry. The deflection is one of those thorns.”

He took that hand in his. “What are you so
afraid of, Beth?”

Loaded question. “The shorter list is what
I’m
not
.”

He persisted, tilting my chin up to meet his
baby-blues. “Enlighten me.”

“Oh, just everything that could possibly go
wrong between us…and I mean every scenario. I’ve weighed them all
for years. And that’s just with
you
. There’s the whole rest
of my life analyzed up here, too,” I said, tapping my temple.

“You’re nuts.” At least he said it with
affection.

“Um,
duh
.”

He caressed my cheek. “You know I’d never
deliberately hurt you, right?”

I leaned into his hand. “Yes. Though I don’t
rule out me doing something to make you want to.”

He shook his head. “Revenge isn’t my style,
love. Might put my foot in my mouth, but--”

“I know. I can only think of one time you set
out to hurt someone.”

“Don’t know what you mean.”

“Jacob, I know you gave Chad Cromlin a black
eye.”

“He was lucky he never touched you,” he said,
an edge to his voice. It was almost a growl.

The protective fire in his eyes stirred my
blood. “Only one man I want to touch me.”

His hand slid to the back of my neck. He gave
me time to stop him from kissing me. I didn’t want to. Our lips
touched, and a cross between a whimper and a moan escaped my
throat. Facing separation for who knew how long, I was sick of
excuses, rationalizations, and deflections.

He let go of my hand and wrapped his arm
around me. Twisting sideways on the couch was awkward, so I crawled
into his lap. His fingers tightened their grip every time I sucked
on his tongue. I slid my hands under his open shirt, caressing his
shoulders.

“Missed this,” he said, before trailing
kisses from my ear to my shoulder. One hand held my ponytail out of
his way, the light tension pulling my head to the side.

Normally, I’d protest being led by my hair,
but Jacob doing it was hot. “Mmm…I’m going to miss you every
day.”

“I’ll come to L.A.”

I gasped when he bit my neck. “Soon?”

“I promise.”

I pulled back to look him in the eye. “Gonna
hold you to that.”

He grinned and kissed me again. When his
hands trailed down to caress my legs, I slipped his shirt off his
shoulders. My turn to kiss his neck and shoulders, the tank he wore
displaying plenty of warm skin. I felt him relax into my
attentions, until I sucked his earlobe between my teeth.

“Beth…”

“I’m not teasing,” I said in his ear.

He gently pushed me back. “What?”

“Take me to bed, Jacob.”

His eyes widened. “Are you sure?”

I nodded.

He practically growled in response, kissing
me fiercely, his arms tightening around me. His hands slid under my
shirt up my back as I ground against him. I had the brief thought
of
what am I doing?
before surrendering to his attentions
and twining my tongue with his. I
wanted
this, even if it
was the only time I ever got.

He picked me up and carried me to his
room.

The pace slowed once he set me on the bed.
Maybe it was something in my face or body language…I didn’t know,
but once he set me down, his touch became more deliberate,
reverent. He bent down on one knee to take off my shoes and socks.
I stared down at his bowed head.

“Jacob…” I whispered.

He looked up and silenced me with his
expression. “Do you know how much I’ve wanted you?”

I shook my head no. He tilted his head,
speculating.

“Well, I could tell you, but I’d rather show
you.” Grinning, he rose up to kiss me and gently pressed me down on
the bed.

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and
arched my back when I felt him tugging my tee out of my jeans. He
pushed my shirt up to the band of my bra and slid down to kiss my
belly button. I squirmed. The kisses across my tummy tickled, but
when he started upward, I held my breath, my body tingling with
anticipation. He nosed the shirt higher and kissed the underside of
my left breast through my bra, his hands caressing my sides.

“If you change your mind, tell me,” he
said.

“I won’t.”

My whole body felt intensely sensitive and
he’d barely touched me, yet. He slipped my tee higher with both
hands. I raised my arms so he could slide it over my head. He
tossed it on the floor, his eyes zeroing in on my cotton-clad
breasts. They weren’t special, or anything, barely a B-cup, and I
closed my eyes. It was easier to feel what he did than see it.

“Bethie…” His breath touched my lips before
his mouth did.

Mmm…
Kissing was good…kissing I knew
how to handle.

He could render my mind silent, distracting
me into not noticing his sneaky hands until they reached places,
like under my bra. I gasped into his mouth at the feeling of his
calloused fingertips circling my nipple. My bra sprung loose, his
other hand having found the clasp in back.

He cupped my boobs with both hands, timing
his movements with his kiss. Playing me as deftly as his guitar.
Heat concentrated between my legs and I pressed my chest into his
palms. The world could fall down as long as he didn’t stop touching
me.

And while my mind went wandering again, he
rendered me topless…

“Um…oh…”

Whatever I’d been about to say flitted away
when he suckled my breast. His teeth grazed my nipple, which I
liked a
lot
.

“Oh, God…”

He chuckled with satisfaction when he made me
arch off the bed.

Sitting up to pull his tank off, he undid his
belt, then slid the belt out of his jean-loops, tossed it on the
floor, and came back down to me.

Oh, wow… Skin-on-skin felt awesome,
especially with how soft his was. The metal button of his jeans was
cold on my tummy, and it clicked to me his belt buckle would have
scratched my skin.