My Once and Future Love (20 page)

“It’s
common courtesy
to say where
you’re going and with whom.”

“It’s a leash, and you’re movin’ to college
soon.” He took a breath, and tried a different approach. “Look,
they’ve never had a reason to worry about us hanging out, right?
Four years, safe as houses.”

“Mom worries if I’m out late,” she said,
pouting.

“Sweetheart, you’re a very good daughter,
okay? Probably the only teenager in L.A. who never needed to be
grounded. Your mum even told you to have fun today. She’s not going
to be upset if you have a life.”

“Stop Psych 101-ing me.”

“I’m not. I’m sayin’ I get that you’re
conflicted.”

She turned her face to the window. “They’ll
need me if it’s bad.”

“But there’s nothing you can do tomorrow,
love.” She didn’t reply to that, and he let the subject drop.

When he stopped the car at her house, she put
on a smile for her parents, stuffed toys in her hands. He walked
her to the door, and inside. Her parents were in the living room
watching television.

“Did you have a good time, honey? Oh, hello,
Jacob.”

“Mrs. Lawson.”

“Well?” Beth asked. She set her loot on the
dining table.

Her mother rose off the sofa and guided Beth
down the hall. He watched his girl listen, nodding along, then her
shoulders dropped and she smiled, and hugged her mother. The look
of relief on her face was the sweetest thing he’d seen all day.

“Thanks, Mom. I’m going to walk Jacob
out.”

Mrs. Lawson smiled and went back to her seat.
Mr. Lawson draped his arm on the back of the couch behind her. Beth
opened the front door, so he followed her outside.

“Good news, I take it?” he asked.

“The lymph node was clean. They cut all the
cancer out.”

He hugged her. “I’m so happy for you,
love.”

“Thanks. I’ll walk you home.” She took his
hand.

They got around the corner and she kissed
him, pressing his back to the wall around her yard. “I feel so much
lighter,” she said. “We should let your mom know, if she’s still
up.”

He trailed after her, needing to adjust his
jeans along the way. “If she’s not awake, we can celebrate.” He
grabbed her hips from behind and bit the spot on her neck that
always made her squeal.

“I can’t stay.”

“Come back when they’re asleep, then.”

She turned around and walked backwards in
front of him. “I’ll see you tomorrow, anyway.”

“But tomorrow leaves my bed lonely.”

She rolled her eyes, but grinning at the same
time. “You’ll survive.”

“Meany.”

“
Very
mature.” She sighed. “There’s
more to life than sex, you know.”

“Now who’s the one with a dirty mind?
I
didn’t say sex.”

“You--” She was so cute when she started to
get flustered.

“Said my bed would be lonely.” And a cuddle
was better than no Beth at all.

“One, I need sleep, and two,
tomorrow
.
Now unlock your front door.”

Always a woman bossing him around…get this,
do that…

The lock took special finagling to get the
key to turn without snapping it off. The deadbolt finally released;
he twisted the knob and opened the door for her. The front light
was still on.

“Mother?”

“In here, Jacob.” Her voice came from down
the hall. “Just doing some last-minute packing before bed. Oh,
hello, Elizabeth.”

“Hi. While you were still here, I wanted to
tell you my mother’s surgery had good news. The cancer was confined
to the lump.”

“Oh, splendid, dear! Tell your mother I’ll
ring soon. Goodnight, kids. I have an early flight.” Mum went back
to her room and shut the door.

“Well, that’s g’night for me, too,” Beth
said.

“Love, it’s only ten.”

“I told my parents I was walking you home.
That means turning back around once I get here.”

Call him a greedy wanker, but he enjoyed
being out alone and having fun with her and didn’t want it to end
on a “thanks, goodnight”. “Fine.” He opened the door. “Go on.”

She held her chin higher and stomped out.

He swung his arm to slam the door, then
caught it at the last second, remembering his mother was trying to
sleep. He checked the locks, grabbed bottled water from the
refrigerator, and turned off the lights. Never felt like this
before, wanting everything a woman was. Shutting his bedroom door,
he flopped on his bed and reached for the acoustic on the floor.
Picking at the guitar helped him focus.

Timing, man…fecking timing. Ideally, he and
Beth would be at the same school, their greatest worry being grades
and messy roommates. Could’ve been, if he’d chosen one of the
California schools that offered. He won the Spotlight Award in his
instrumental division, a $5000 scholarship, and getting into a
Southern California music program was easy. But…he wanted to see
home again. Wasn’t so cozy now with a band breaking up and a
landlord banging on his door for late rent.

If he stayed in London, he and Beth wouldn’t
make it to graduation, he just knew it. If he chose her and applied
for a local uni, he had to start within the next couple months to
be able to transfer. Maybe things would change once she got settled
at UCLA, but he had a feeling being in the same country wouldn’t
fix everything, either. Yet it was horrid only talking on the phone
for a
week
. He didn’t know what to do.

****

And they said women were moody. Hello, look
at Jacob!

What was so wrong about me sticking to my
word, huh? Life isn’t just about what we want—we have
responsibilities and obligations. If I said I was going to arrive
at a certain time, well, I was five minutes early.

Dad was conked out, but Mom was still awake,
watching the news. “Hey, pumpkin.”

“Hey.” I locked the door for the night. “You
haven’t called me that in a long time.”

“I haven’t? Huh. So…did you have fun
today?”

I sat on the sofa and kicked my shoes off.
“Went to Santa Monica Pier.”

“Did you ride the Ferris wheel?”

“Yup. And ate salty food. I’m surprised
you’re still up.”

She smiled. “Relief energy, I guess. After my
reprieve, I didn’t want to close my eyes, yet.”

“Guess that makes sense. Should we celebrate
this weekend?”

“Maybe after my stitches heal, honey. Right
now, getting back to normal is the sweetest thing I can think of.”
She glanced at Daddy. “Maybe your father and I will finally take
that weekend in Santa Barbara.”

“Just wait until I’m in the dorm. The house
is too empty when you guys are away.”

She tucked my hair behind my ear. “Deal.”

****

I lasted half a day before hopping the wall
and peeking in his room. No Jacob. Well, fine. Made it easy to
ignore him until tonight.

Wait, did we still have a date? Should I call
and ask? Or did that look like I was caving? Because I wasn’t, you
know. I wasn’t the one who told the other to get out of the house.
But if I sit around and he never shows, then I wasted time when I
could have known if I asked sooner.

Maybe he’d cave first and I wouldn’t have
to.

I sucked at dating.

When I hadn’t heard by six-thirty and Dad
suggested going out to eat, I took a risk and left with my family.
I taped a note to the front door just in case.

****

Seven o’clock and not a single Lawson home.
She wanted to bail? Fine. Entertainment was easily had in L.A. He
crumpled the note in his hand and tossed it in the backseat. About
time he looked up some friends. Reconnecting with local contacts
was smart no matter where he’d be a year from now.

****

He did come by. Now I felt like a jerk. I
tried calling, but only got the machine.

When my parents went to bed, I snuck out and
climbed over the wall. His light in his room was off, but the
window was unlatched, so I climbed inside. Checked the rest of the
house, and the car was gone. Nothing to do but wait for him to come
home.

I fell asleep waiting on his bed and woke up
to snoring in my ear. Turning my head, I smelled beer on his
breath. Eww. He was naked and had an arm flung over my middle. I
pushed it off of me and got up.

“Great, you went partying,” I muttered.

“And had a bloody good time, too. What are
you doin’ here?”

“I came to talk to you, but I’m not going to
do it when you’re drunk.”

He rolled onto his back. “Not drunk. Had one
beer.”

“And drove. Wonderful. Could you put some
pants on?” The view was…distracting.

“My room.”

Fine
.
I turned so I could only see his
face out of the corner of my eye. “Are you trying to get
arrested?”

“I drank
one
beer an hour before
comin’ home.”

“Still stinks.”

“Thank you. And I didn’t ask you to be here.
Don’t like it, go home.” He rolled on his side, putting his back to
me.

“Fine. I won’t bug you the rest of your
vacation.” I climbed out his window and slammed it shut, then ran
home. He wouldn’t follow without clothes on.

If he had so much fun without me, he could
keep having fun indefinitely.

Maybe Vivian was right about him not being
ready to be with me.

****

Shit
.

They were better at this relationship on the
phone.

He thought about grabbing pants and going
after her, but she’d have her window locked tight by the time he
got there. Leave it to Beth to one-up him with the final word. He
remembered the time she didn’t talk to him for a month. God, she
could be a stubborn brat.

“Morning…it can all wait ‘til morning.”

But falling asleep again didn’t come
easy.

****

It was Saturday and my heart hurt, so I slept
in. I shuffled out for breakfast to find Jacob sitting with my
parents.

Oh, not good
.
My steps only faltered a
second as I pretended not to see him. Cereal, bowl, milk, spoon,
and I shuffled back toward my room.

“Elizabeth, you have a visitor,” my mother
said. I stopped cold.

Damn. Almost got away
.
“He can wait
until I’m dressed,” I said, and continued to my room. I was in for
a lecture later about manners, but right now I didn’t care. My
brain needed fuel before I could deal with any of this.

The nerve of him sitting down with my
parents!

“Beth…” He was following me?

Of course he was following me. Right into my
room, since I was too slow to shut the door in his face.

“I--”

“Listen, shut up for a second. Do you
remember Greg?”

Huh? Left field, much? “What? Greg who?”

“Talent show Greg.” Ah, his partner for the
senior year win. “We caught up yesterday and I’m sitting in with
him tonight.”

I held my hands up. “Okay, rewind. You came
to talk to me about some music thing?”

He was obviously excited about something, but
I was so expecting the topic to be last night’s fight, I was
thrown.

“That’s what I’ve been
sayin’
. Greg
has a gig tonight and I’m sittin’ in with rhythm. Gotta practice so
I can’t stay long, but here’s the flyer.” He pulled a folded piece
of green paper from his pocket and handed it to me. He kissed me on
the cheek. “Later, babe.”

He was gone so fast, I had to ask myself
had he really been here,
but the flyer in my hand was real.
I sat down on my bed with my bowl of cereal, uncertain how to
feel.

My gut didn’t feel any less weird when I
walked into the club that night. They stamped my hand “no alcohol”.
I took the stairs to the upper level to avoid being in the mass of
people below. It was a small room, but with seating only on the
mezzanine, it was standing room only. Greg was listed as the second
act of the night.

My camera hung around my neck, of course. I
couldn’t resist Jacob’s L.A. debut, even if he was just a support
guy with a guitar. The acts were singer/songwriter folks with a
keyboard or guitar and a hope to be heard. A section on the far
left below cheered when Greg and Jacob took the stage—friends,
probably. The duo sat on stools, Jacob slightly behind his friend
to his left with no microphone. They plugged their acoustics into
the amps, did a test strum, and nodded to the control booth. The
stage lights went black, then two spots shone down on the duo from
opposing angles.

Greg was pleasant to listen to, the kind of
music you’d like in the background of a bar or café. A couple
sentimentalists in the crowd below held up lighters as they swayed
to his folk-rock sound. My focus was mostly on Jacob. This was a
rare moment to catch him in a different role. Instead of being the
front-man and playing to the audience, he needed to concentrate on
the guitar, and I was getting beautiful angles of his face and
hands.

With only a half-hour set, Greg soon
announced the last song of the night. I put the cap on my lens and
set the camera down, leaning my arms on the railing. The crowd was
still with them, and I had the sudden thought of
what if there’s
a talent scout out there
. In my eyes, Jacob was good enough to
be snatched up any time, so every time he played in public could be
his lucky break.

I think that scared me more than the long
distance.

Jacob’s eyes lit up when I found him. “You
came!”

“I did. Good job.”

He leaned in for a soft kiss. “Thank you.
Hey, Greg, remember Beth Lawson?”

“That little nerd that follow—hey, nice to
see you again.”

Jerk.

“Likewise,” I said. Of course anyone Jacob
knew back then only remembered me one way. “You were lucky Jacob
could fit you in his busy schedule.”

“Play nice, love,” he whispered in my ear.
“It was fun, mate. Thanks for askin’ me along.” They shook
hands.

“See you on Monday, Jake,” Greg said, and got
in his car.