My One and Only (Ardent Springs Book 3) (23 page)

But Haleigh didn’t want a rum and Coke. She wanted Cooper. Which sparked the question—was she trading one diversion for another? Was she using Cooper because he made her feel good? Made her forget who she was?
What
she was?

Doubts pummeled her from every direction. Her old reliable friends, worthlessness and regret, whispered in her ears. Some distant voice told her to fight, but what was the point? Abby had made her feelings clear. The thought of moving in with her mother stirred a wave of panic. There had to be another answer.

As Haleigh’s mind raced, the cell phone in her pocket went off, signaling a call from the maternity ward. In the end, Haleigh was good at only one thing—her job. At everything else she was a roaring failure.

Chapter 24

Disappointed that Haleigh had to stay over at work, Cooper found himself wandering aimlessly around the house, as if he’d forgotten how to spend an evening alone. Ever since the visit from Spencer, he’d been playing back every conversation with Haleigh over the last four days. They’d discussed their day, their pasts, and everything from music to movies, but neither had brought up the future.

Except on that first night. His request for a chance to make her happy had been answered with the simple statement that Haleigh wasn’t going anywhere. Not exactly a vow of forever. He’d taken the answer in a positive light, but then they’d been in the middle of sex and his brain hadn’t been as fully engaged as the rest of him.

So had Cooper only heard what he wanted to hear? Did Haleigh see this situation as nothing more than two adults enjoying each other until they grew bored and moved on? And if she did, was he prepared to let her go?

Annoyed by the direction of his thoughts, Cooper hit the workout room to burn off some energy. On his second set of twenty pull-ups, he placed the blame for his doubts squarely where it belonged.

On Spencer.

Why had he stirred this crap up? Why couldn’t he let Cooper be happy living in his own illusions, if that’s what they were? Only an idiot would sit a woman down four days in and say, “Where do you see this going?” and Cooper was not going to be that idiot. Or that needy.

But damn, he wanted the answer.

By ten o’clock, he’d completed double his normal reps on every exercise in his routine. The harder he pushed, the more his mind raced in the wrong direction, and the faster he pumped to shut down his mind. Which meant when Haleigh showed up at his door at ten fifteen, she found a dripping wet Cooper looking like a man who’d just run a marathon through a downpour.

“Is there a water leak somewhere?” Haleigh asked when he greeted her at the door.

“Doubled up the workout,” Cooper replied, still breathing heavy from the sit-ups he’d been doing when she rang the bell. “I meant to shower before you got here, but I lost track of time.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, lingering on the threshold. “Maybe I should go home.”

“No,” Cooper said, pulling her into the house. “Don’t be crazy. I’m glad you’re here.”

Haleigh did not return the sentiment. “It’s been a really long day,” she said, staring at her shoes. “I shouldn’t be invading your life every night.”

The waver in her voice caught his ear. Bending to see her face, Cooper said, “Darling, are you crying?” She shook her head quickly but the sniffle gave her away. “Hey now,” he said, pulling her chin up, “you
are
crying.”

“I know,” she said. “I feel like an idiot.”

Knowing she’d stayed late for a difficult delivery, he feared she might have lost a patient. “Come sit down and tell me what happened.” Due to a lack of tissues, he handed her his discarded T-shirt off the back of a chair. “I’m afraid this is the best I can do.”

Wiping her nose, she said, “It’s fine,” before jerking the cotton away. “Whoa, that smells.”

“Yeah, sorry.” Searching for another solution, he said, “Let me grab a paper towel.” After a quick run to the kitchen, he handed her a full roll.

She blinked up at him. “A bit excessive, don’t you think?”

“I’m not good with crying women. Just take what you need.”

Ripping one off the roll, she blew her nose. “This is so stupid. I really should go home.”

As if he’d let that happen. “I’m not letting you go anywhere until I know what brought on these tears.”

Struggling to even out her breathing, she said, “Abby found me at work today. She knows that I’ve been staying over here.”

“We knew she’d find out eventually. What did she say?” Of all the people who could come between him and Haleigh, Cooper never thought his sister would be the biggest obstacle.

Haleigh swiped at the tear running down her cheek. “She’s kicking me out.”

“She what?” Cooper said, rising to his feet.

Staring at her hands, Haleigh added, “At least she’s giving me thirty days.”

“To hell with that,” he raged. “She is not kicking you out because of me.”

“Of course she isn’t,” Haleigh corrected. “She’s kicking me out because of
me
. Because I’m a worthless human being who is more than likely going to ruin your life. And if that’s the case, I’m going to have to do it while living in my car.”

“No,” he said, dropping back down beside her. “You are not worthless and you are not going to ruin my life. Abby is angry over losing Kyle and she’s taking it out on you. On us. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter,” Haleigh cried. “She’s been my best friend since we were nine years old. We’ve gone through everything together. She knows every horrible thing my mother has ever said to me. She didn’t abandon me when I couldn’t get my nose out of a bottle, and then once I got out and kept falling back in, she was never more than a phone call away. Through it all, Abby has been there, and now she’s so sure that this is a mistake, she’s willing to throw me out of her house to save you.”

Cooper’s hands curled into fists. He’d never wanted to throttle his sister as much as he did in that moment. Why would she take this away from him? Why would she get in the way of the happiness of two people she claimed to love?

“I don’t care how far she’s willing to go,” he said, “she’s wrong.”

“I don’t think she is,” Haleigh said, her voice crumbling. “What if all I’m doing is switching out one addiction for another?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I drank to drown out the voices. To numb the pain and feel good, even if that good wasn’t real. What if I’m doing the same thing with you?”

“I’m not a drink, I’m a person, Haleigh Rae. There’s nothing wrong with two people making each other feel good. And there is nothing fake about what’s going on here.”

Brown eyes stared up at the ceiling. “You don’t know that. I don’t know if I’m here because this is real or because when I’m with you all the bad stuff goes away. You’re as much a drug for me as a bottle of whiskey ever was. I don’t want to use you like that.”

Dropping to his knees in front of her, Cooper cupped Haleigh’s face, forcing her to look him in the eye.

“Do not believe for one second that this isn’t real. What happens in that bedroom upstairs is something I’ve never had with another woman. When you’re working beside me in the kitchen, I can’t imagine a day when you won’t be there. After you leave in the morning, I smell your scent on my pillow and think about the next time I’ll get to touch you. Nothing has ever been this real for me, and I know you feel it, too. I know it every time you arch against me, every time you smile at me over your coffee, and every damn second that we’re apart. If I’m your drug, then you’re mine, and I refuse to give you up.”

Taking one of his hands, she placed a kiss in his palm, “That’s the best thing anyone has ever said to me. But that’s why I have to protect you. Because you won’t protect yourself.”

“Protect me from what?” he said, frustration pulsing through him.

“From me! I came within inches of diving straight into a bottle instead of coming here. Tonight, I controlled it, but what happens when I screw up and give in? When I reach for a drink instead of you?” she asked.

“It isn’t
when
but
if
, Haleigh. And if that ever happens, I’ll be there to take you home and hold your hair back and help you find the strength to say no the next time.”

Haleigh shook her hands in front of his face. “You make it sound so simple.”

“It is simple. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“And what happens when I push you too far?” she asked. “What happens when we have a fight and I say horrible things?”

“Exactly what’s happening right now,” he answered, realizing for the first time ever that he’d found someone he was willing to fight with. And fight for. “I know what you’ve been through. And I know that you’ve been strong enough to overcome it all. I won’t be another person who let you down, Haleigh. You can lash out and throw things for all I care, but when you’re done, I’ll be here. Ready for another round or a good cry or a night of make-up sex. Whatever you throw my way, I am not giving up.”

Falling into his arms, Haleigh pressed her face into Cooper’s neck. “I don’t want to give you up, either.”

Relief shuddered through him, echoed by the knowledge that he’d just crossed a line in his own mind. The chance of losing the woman in his arms had been the push he needed. Cooper had found the one. Haleigh had always been the one.

“It’s about time you came around,” he said, speaking to himself as much as to her. Placing a kiss on her hair, he remembered his sweaty condition. “I’m sorry I smell like a locker room. You’re a brave woman to get this close.”

Lifting her head, she caressed his whiskered cheek with her knuckles. “Didn’t you say something about taking a shower?” she asked, a sexy look in her damp eyes. “I’d be happy to help with all the hard-to-reach places.”

Rising to his feet, Cooper took her with him, cradling her in his arms. “I’m really sweaty,” he said as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “We might need to do a full scrub at least twice.”

Circling his earlobe with her tongue, she murmured, “I’m willing to go for three if you are.”

Cooper took the stairs two at a time, with Haleigh laughing against him all the way.

Haleigh really,
really
wanted to believe every word that Cooper had said. And she knew without a doubt that he believed them with complete conviction. But no matter how hard she tried, the what-ifs still lingered in the back of her mind. He’d made some bold statements that implied this was more than a fling on his part. Not that she wanted a love ’em and leave ’em affair, but Haleigh hadn’t been thinking in terms of forever. At least not for more than a few scary seconds before chasing the thoughts away.

As Abby had so kindly made known, Haleigh already had three strikes under her belt when it came to marriage. Well, engagements. But not one of her exes was half as amazing as the man who’d just given her a knee-buckling orgasm in the shower. Cooper was far and away the best man that Haleigh would ever find. And he wanted her. Till death do they part from the sound of things.

If—and that was a big
if
—Haleigh committed to becoming the woman that Cooper believed her to be, there were still two problems standing in her way. The first being her lack of a home come thirty days from now. Cooper would likely insist that she move in with him. In the past, she’d have taken that easy answer, but not now. If they were going to make this work, Haleigh needed to come to him on equal ground, which meant taking control of her financial and domestic circumstances.

Both of which led straight into problem number two—her mother. She’d need to play this carefully. Do some research on smaller homes in the area for sale, but also on refinancing the existing mortgage to possibly lower the payments. They’d bought the house on Rebel Circle when Haleigh was eight. If her parents signed a thirty-year mortgage, the balance should be almost nothing compared to a full loan. Of course, there was the second mortgage, and who knew what that looked like.

Multiple requests to see the paperwork had resulted in a string of guilt trips about respecting her mother’s privacy and not treating her only living parent like a senile old woman. Per their arrangement, Haleigh forked over a set amount each month while living on a shoestring budget and paying next to nothing to rent a bedroom from Abby. An option no longer on the table, leaving Haleigh potentially homeless.

“This is a long shot, but do you know of any food vendors in town who might be willing to serve food at the rally?” Cooper asked, walking out of the bathroom with a towel slung low around his hips and drying his hair with another. “Thanks to my screw-up, we had one drop out, and I need to find a replacement.”

“How did you screw up a food vendor?” Haleigh asked, allowing the mouth-watering scenery to distract from her conundrum.

“Good question,” he said with one brow raised. “One of them had a question Lorelei needed me to answer, but I didn’t check my messages, so I didn’t get back to her in time. I still don’t know what the question was.”

Feeling defensive of her man, Haleigh asked, “Then how do you know Lorelei couldn’t answer it without you?”

“Because Spencer said she couldn’t when he reamed my ass today.”

Haleigh hopped up to her knees, pulling the sheet over her naked breasts. “He shouldn’t be blaming you for Lorelei’s mistakes.”

Settling on the bed next to her, he said, “I appreciate your support, but I’m the guy in charge, and if they need me, I need to be available. Not that I regret how I was distracted.” Cooper ran a finger along the top of the sheet. “You know I’ve seen what’s behind there, right?”

Shivering in response to his touch, her eyes dropped to his full lips. “And I’ve seen what’s behind that towel, but you still wore it out of the bathroom.”

Green eyes darkened with desire. “Would you like to see it again?” he asked, leaning close.

“I’d like to do a lot more than see it.” Haleigh fell back to the pillow, tugging him with her, but just as their lips met, the cell phone on his nightstand went off.