My One and Only: Book 1 in the Love and Weddings Trilogy (22 page)

              Meredith let out a breath she was holding and shook her head. “But can’t you just tell her no? I mean, you and I care about each other. We were dating first. Can you just explain to her that you have feelings for me?”

              Asher nodded. “I’ve already told her. She knows that we’re dating. But the whole casual thing allows her inside too, Mer. Didn’t you understand that when you insisted on it?”

              Meredith clenched her eyes shut and nodded her head. “Yes,” she whispered. “I understand. But I want something different now.”

              Asher looked at her sharply and stepped toward her. “
Why
, Meredith? Why do you want things to be exclusive between us?” he asked softly, reaching out to grasp her elbow.

              Meredith looked up at him helplessly. She couldn’t just pour her heart out to him. She’d be completely vulnerable if she did.
He’d be able to hurt her
.

              “Because…because you don’t know anything about this girl and she could be shallow and break your heart,” she said lamely, looking away as guilt swept over her.

              She felt Asher release her elbow and she looked up at him just in time to see the disappointment in his eyes. “Yeah, I’d hate to have my heart broken,” he said and then turned and walked out without another word.

              Meredith stayed in the kitchen for a few more moments as she asked herself why she couldn’t just tell him what was in her heart. She walked out, flicking a tear off her cheek to see Asher and Maya walk out of the rink together. She felt the knife-like pain in her heart and gasped a little.

              “Ms. Jensen? I’m Christine Thackery with Channel Five news. Can I have a few words with you?”

              Meredith pasted a big smile on and turned to answer questions. It was midnight before she got home but even when she was in bed, lying there exhausted, she couldn’t sleep. Thoughts of Asher and Maya and her feelings for him and their relationship raced through her mind, giving her no relief.

              And she had no one to blame but herself.

              Asher stared down at his phone at the text he just got from Maya and groaned. He didn’t want to date Maya. He’d given her false hopes because he had tried to force Meredith to admit she loved him, but that had backfired on him. She hadn’t admitted anything and now they weren’t even talking to each other. Maya was a sweet girl and she was gorgeous, but she didn’t make him feel alive like Meredith did. She didn’t make him laugh like Meredith did. He didn’t love her like he loved Meredith.

              It had been a month since the Ice Skating fiasco and he and Meredith kept their conversations between them strictly about business. She wouldn’t even meet his eyes now. When they had business lunches together, she kept her answers short and to the point and always had an excuse to leave early. Brogan was starting to lose patience with her. And so was he.

              He’d even called Tristan, her brother to try and figure out what was going on with her. All Tristan would say was that Meredith had gone into hiding, whatever that meant. Tristan wasn’t one to talk about his sister behind her back, but he had said that she was hurting.
Why though?
He’d given her a chance to tell him she wanted him and she’d backed away from him. And he was just so tired of being backed away from.

              Asher entered the gym and grinned when he saw Becket already there waiting for him. He hurried to change and jumped into the ring, pounding on Becket’s gloves before the bell rang. He pounded it out with Becket for over a half an hour and now had a black eye to show for it. Becket was laughing maniacally though which meant it had been a good fight. The worst thing he could do was bore Becket. At the end of the round, Becket took off his mask and smiled.

              “Think we can tell Garrett we’ve been boxing with each other now without getting our behinds kicked?”

              Asher shrugged. “I don’t care if he knows. It’d be nice for him to see that maybe I can take care of myself though. It’s nice having a big brother, but sometimes Garrett can be overprotective.”

              Becket nodded and handed him a water bottle. “Be grateful. I’d give anything for a brother.”

              Asher stared at Becket in surprise. “Dude, you and Garrett
are
brothers. What a thing to say.”

              Becket lowered his head and nodded before putting his arm around his shoulders. “You’re right. That was dumb of me. I do have a family and it’s a good one. I’m glad you’re part of it.”

              Asher grinned and hugged Becket with one arm as they walked to the showers. “Me too.”

              “About your girl problems…” Becket said as they left the gym and headed to the parking lot.

              Asher groaned and shook his head. “What do you mean,
about my girl problems
? What have you heard?” he asked in horror hoping people weren’t gossiping about his love life,
or lack of it
.

              Becket shrugged and threw his gym bag in the back of his truck. “Ivy’s worried about you. She says that you’re sad and that you haven’t been the same when you play in the band. She says that you have a broken heart. So what’s up?”

              Asher groaned and leaned his head against Becket’s truck. “I fell in love with a girl. A girl fell in love with me. She can’t admit it. So I tried to make her jealous. And now she won’t talk to me and I have this other girl now who won’t stop texting me and is expecting me to be her one and only.”

              Becket leaned against his truck and stared at him for a moment. “Making a woman jealous is probably the dumbest thing you could do.”

              Asher glared at Becket. “Hey, I remember Ivy seeing you at the bar with a cute blond.”

              Becket nodded his head. “And look how good that turned out. And I wasn’t even trying to make her jealous. We broke up and I almost lost her. If you love her,
love her
. Don’t play games.”

              Asher nodded his head. “I tried the direct approach first and that didn’t work either. She’s so gun shy. She’s terrified of being hurt and won’t open her heart to me. And now she thinks I don’t love her anymore and I know she’s hurting which makes me feel like a real jerk.”

              Becket rubbed a hand over his scruffy chin and nodded. “Try again, bro. What’s the alternative? Being miserable? Living your life without the woman you love? Is it worth it?”

              Asher sighed and stared at the pavement. “Well, when you put it that way,
no
. But I was just giving her time to come to me. How many times do I have to put myself out there? Can’t she for once put herself out there for me?”

              Becket snorted. “Keeping score never works in relationships. Jeez, you’re an infant at this stuff. When it comes to love it’s all worth it and you have to check your pride at the door.”

              Asher groaned again and nodded his head. “Good advice. I think I’ll take it. And thanks.”

              Becket nodded and took out his truck keys. “And in case you missed it. Valentine’s Day is tomorrow. You might want to consider that when you’re trying to win your lady back.”

              Asher winced and walked away.
Valentine’s Day
. The worst day of the year for men with no clue. And right now, that was him. He drove home and called Cleo. It was time to get some serious help. After a few phone calls he called for pizza. He now had Cleo, Ivy, Rayne and Jane coming over to his house for a pow wow. He was a little nervous to have all of these women in his bachelor pad telling him what to do. But he figured if he was going to win Meredith back, he was willing to do whatever it took and he couldn’t imagine inviting Trevyn, his drummer, Garrett and Becket over and having them figure anything out.

              A half an hour later, all four women were on his front porch and he was standing back as they poured into his house. The level of noise went up fifty decimals as the women began to talk over each other. He was glad he’d ordered pizza and stayed busy serving the women and getting them drinks as they got comfortable on his couches.

              He heard a knock on the door and looked at everyone in confusion. He counted off the women. Everyone was there. He opened the door and blinked in surprise to see Taryn standing there, looking impatient.

              “I’m here to help. Ivy told me you’re holding a little planning session here on how to get Meredith back. You need me.”

              Asher stepped back and allowed her to sweep past him. He had serious doubts that Taryn could help him figure out how to soften Meredith’s heart. They were both alike. Hard, driven and strong women.

              He walked back in the family room to find Taryn piling a few pieces of pizza on a plate. He grinned and sat down next to Jane who was patting the empty seat next to her.

              “Okay, Asher, let’s get started. Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and we don’t have much time to fix this. Now start at the beginning and tell us what happened.”

              Asher walked them through the dinner at Meredith’s parents’ house and everything that had gone down at the Ice Skating mixer ending with him leaving with Maya and Meredith’s subsequent silence afterwards.

              “So you gave her a chance to declare her feelings for you, she backed off and that’s that?” Rayne asked, frowning sadly at him.

              Asher nodded. “That’s it in a nutshell.”

              Ivy sighed. “That girl is so shut down. She’s too emotionally stunted to be in a healthy, loving relationship. Even if she did have the courage to tell Asher she loved him she’d probably just find some other way to ruin everything.”

              Asher stared in surprise at Ivy. Ivy looked mad. He glanced at Rayne but she was nodding her head. Jane looked uncomfortable, but she wasn’t sticking up for Meredith either. Cleo shook her head though.

              “Look, Meredith has been through the wringer when it comes to men. Can you blame her for being cautious? Let’s give her another chance.”

              Rayne shook her head. “I bet if he did, she’d just do the same thing. Asher has been hurt too. I think he needs someone who doesn’t have so many walls up and Meredith’s heart is protected by Fort Knox.”

              Cleo frowned, her shoulders sagging. Asher sat back, feeling even more depressed. He’d called these women over to help him figure out a way to win Meredith back, not tell him that it wasn’t worth the effort.

              “You’re all being judgmental jerks. Meredith is a sweetheart. I was there when she fought for Kam. I saw her eyes. When she loves, she loves with everything she has. No wonder she’s scared to love Asher. Give her another try, Ash. Not only does she deserve it, but you do too. You two would be great together if you can just get past all of these walls,” Taryn said, her voice dripping with ice as she glared at the women in the room.

              Rayne, Jane, Ivy and Cleo all stared at Taryn in surprise. Jane raised her hand and shook her head. “We’re not being jerks. I don’t think anyone here’s trying to be mean. I think we’re just trying to be realistic. Say we do figure out a way for Meredith to be with Asher and they date exclusively. Things might not work out.”

              Taryn finished chewing her bite of pepperoni pizza and rolled her eyes. “Love is always a gamble and of course things might not work out. But nothing’s going to work out if we don’t try! Don’t they deserve happiness? Do you really think Meredith will be happy if Asher gives up and starts dating Maya? I’ve seen her. The girl should be a model. Meredith won’t be fit to be around for years. And Asher? Ivy says he can’t play worth a lick now he’s miserable and Brogan’s had it up to here with the both of them.”

              Asher leaned his head back and groaned. “Please remind me to never ask for help next time I’m having a crisis,” he said to no one in particular.

              The women laughed lightly and then ended up agreeing with Taryn. Cleo took charge after that and gave him his instructions with Taryn arguing with her over a few minor details. As the women left, Asher had to smile. They were blunt, they were loud and they couldn’t care less about his male pride but in the end, they’d found a way for him to get Meredith back.

             
Maybe.

Valentine’s Day

              Meredith walked down the street as a cold, February wind tried to blow her hat off. She stared up at the gray, stormy looking skies and hoped that spring would come early this year. She was done with gray and depressing. She needed a bright, sunny day down at the beach, a good book to read and some decent chocolate. Yeah, that’s what she needed.

              Meredith sighed. Yeah, right.
What she needed was Asher
. Every time she saw him now, it felt like she was looking at a stranger. She pushed through the doors to Tai’s diner and walked up to the counter, grabbing a menu and sitting down by herself. Now that their online dating website was doing so well, she could order anything on the menu she wanted. Too bad nothing sounded good anymore.

              She stared listlessly at the menu and frowned, her eyes glazing over as she thought of the last time she’d seen Asher. Two days ago at The Iron Skillet. They’d been going over all of the last minute details for the big Valentine’s Day dance with Brogan. They’d rented out The Iron Skillet for the evening and they were going to have appetizers, specialty non-alcoholic drinks and Jane’s signature, My One and Only cupcakes for dessert. Asher had seemed so uncaring, so unconcerned. When Brogan had asked him if he was going to even show up, he’d glanced at her and shrugged and said,
what does it matter
?

              She’d felt sick ever since. He didn’t even want to see her, speak to her or be anywhere near her now that their relationship had dissolved into nothing.

              “Hey there, beautiful girl. What can I get you?”

              Meredith looked up and smiled at Tai. “I don’t know. I can’t seem to concentrate anymore. Nothing sounds good to me. What do you think I would like?” she asked, pushing the menu away.

              Tai frowned and shook his head. “That bad, huh? When food doesn’t taste good anymore, that’s when you know you’re in too deep. Give me a minute and I’ll whip you something up.”

              Meredith sighed as she watched him walk away and leaned her head in her hands. She heard the bell over the door ring and she glanced over her shoulder to see Maya walk in with a couple of the other yoga instructors from Cleo’s. She turned slowly around, not wanting to talk to the girl who had stolen Asher away from her.

              She watched out of the corner of her eye as Maya caught sight of her and stiffened. She pointed at Meredith and the other two girls lifted their eyebrows and pointed to a back booth, far away from the counter.

              Meredith cleared her throat, feeling very uncomfortable. It was normal, she supposed to not want to acknowledge the woman who used to date your current boyfriend.
Awkward.

              Tai came out an excruciating ten minutes later carrying a plate in his hands. “A quesadilla for the lady. You need heat and flavor to wake you up. We’ve got sautéed mushrooms, chicken, peppers, three different cheeses and salsa Verde. If this doesn’t do the trick, then I quit.”

              Meredith grinned at Tai’s melodramatic words. “Everybody in town would shoot me if you shut down because I didn’t like your food.”

              Tai shrugged and wiped his hands on a rag. “It’s all on you. You better love this or the town will hunt you down.”

              Meredith took a big bite and groaned as her taste buds burst to life. “This is insanely good,” she said, staring at him in awe. “I’ve never tasted anything so good in my life,” she said, telling the truth.

              Tai grinned. “And my diner is saved.”

              Meredith laughed, feeling better. “Ah, Tai, you make me think life might be worth living after all.”

              Tai frowned and walked around the counter, sitting next to her. “You and Asher still haven’t worked things out?”

              Meredith shook her head. “See Miss America over there. Corner booth. Long dark hair and exotic brown eyes? Yeah, meet the reason why.”

              Tai glanced over his shoulder at Maya and then looked back at her quizzically. “Asher wouldn’t be dating her if he’s in love with you.”

              Meredith laughed bitterly. “Yeah, well, I can blame myself for that. I insisted that our relationship be casual so we could date other people and then because we’re signed up on our own dating website, he got a four level match with Maya. They met up at the ice skating mixer and I assume things have been going strong ever since because he and I
haven’t
… we haven’t been talking let alone dating or anything,” she said, feeling the pressure build behind her eyes.

              Tai handed her a napkin and she glanced at him with a frown. “I’m
not
crying,” she said impatiently.

              “Yet,” Tai said with a gentle smile. “Look, obviously you have feelings for Asher. If this is bothering you so much, something is going on inside of there,” he said pointing to her chest.

              Meredith rubbed the spot over her heart and sighed. “I love him.
Okay?
I love him. I just can’t tell him that. I had the chance to and I messed it all up. I guess I’m scared. If I tell him how I really feel, then he could hurt me, you know? There’s no guarantee that he won’t just turn his back and walk away from me just like everyone else has.”

              Tai snorted. “Way to re-write history, Mer. You lost your fiancé because of a car crash. He didn’t walk away from you. He didn’t want to leave you. And you’re the one who left Kam. Not the other way around. What’s so hard about going up to Asher and saying, I love you. I want to be with you. Just you, just me, no one else.”

              Meredith glared at Tai and then sighed. She didn’t have the energy to fight with him. Plus, he was right. “I don’t think you could ever understand, Tai. You took one look at Cleo and you fell in love. And you just decided that you were going to love her and she did the same thing. It’s just so sweet and nice when love works out that way. But for the rest of us, it’s just a painful, awkward mess full of insecurities and fear.”

              Tai laughed. “You’re right. When I see something I want, I go after it and I don’t let anything get in my way or stop me. You should try it.”

              Meredith rolled her eyes. “Well, you are engaged to Cleo and she’s so in love with you it’s ridiculous.”

              Tai smiled complacently. “If you want Asher, then go get him. It’s not that hard or complicated, Meredith. If more people would just be direct and honest about their feelings the world would be a happier place.”

              Meredith blew out a breath. “So easy. Step one, step two, step three. But there’s all that rotten fear getting in the way of all those beautiful feelings. And for me, that’s kind of a big hurdle.”

              Tai shook his head in exasperation. “You’re going to let fear control your life and steal your happiness? That’s so dumb. Call him up.
Right now.”

              Meredith shook her head. “The Valentine’s Dance is tonight at The Iron Skillet. He’s busy today. I can’t confront him about everything today of all days.”             

              Tai looked confused. “It’s the one day a year that we celebrate love. Why ever not?”

              Meredith took her last bite and stood up, taking a few bills out of her purse and laying them by her plate. “Because I’m a chicken, that’s why. Are you coming tonight to the dance?”

              Tai nodded. “Cleo is insisting. I’ll be there and I hope I see you talking to Asher.”

              Meredith smiled sadly. “Don’t count on it. But thanks for the advice and the food.”

              She walked back home and took a big nap until it was time to get ready for the dance. She walked over to her closet and flipped through everything, coming back to a simple black dress she’d bought last year when she’d gone shopping in Seattle with Jane. It was to her knees, in a soft velvet material with a simple scoop neck and flowing design. She slipped it over her head and did her hair and makeup as usual. She stared in the mirror and wondered how she could look so good on the outside and feel so bad on the inside.

              She drove over to the restaurant and helped Brogan and the waiters and waitresses move the tables back and decorate. She hung so many silver and pink hearts that the restaurant looked like a completely different place. Brogan hung a strobe light from the middle of the room and the sound crew showed up to get the music ready for the DJ they’d hired. Kit, Layla and Jane showed up with the cupcakes and she made a point to speak to everyone, but she was being called in so many directions, she didn’t have much time for conversation.

              Rob, Wren, Bailey and Kam along with Taryn were next, making sure the appetizers were ready to go and that the wait staff was fully prepped for the evening. And before she knew it, people began pouring through the doors and the restaurant was filled with laughter, conversation and music. They were keeping things low key tonight. They’d had a lot of games at the Ice Rink, but tonight was meant for dancing, music and romantic conversation. She made it a point to mingle and if anyone looked like they were on their own, or shy or hiding in the corners, she pulled them out and introduced them to people.

              For the most part though, everyone looked like they were having a good time. Pule finally showed up and gave her a hug.

              “Save a dance for me,” he said and walked off towards the food.

              Tristan tapped her on the arm next. “Some girl from your site told me she wanted to meet me tonight. She said she’d be wearing a black dress but everyone is. Even you,” he said grumpily.

              Meredith smiled. “She knows what you look like. She’ll find you. Do you have a picture of her? Show me and I’ll keep my eye out for you.”

              Tristan pulled out his phone and showed her the picture. Meredith smiled. The girl was blond and pretty in a simple, elegant way. “Cute. As soon as I see her I’ll point her in your direction,” she promised.

              Tristan growled and walked away. Meredith sighed. Maybe if she stayed busy enough she wouldn’t think so much or so often of Asher. It seemed like he was the first thing she thought of when she woke up and the last thing she thought of when she went to sleep. He was taking over her mind and she was scared she was becoming obsessed. She had to figure out a way to fix this mess or she was going to lose it and go insane. She either had to jump in with both feet,
if he’d have her
or walk away. But how could she do that when she loved him?

              “You look beautiful tonight.”

              Meredith turned around to find Taryn looking at her kindly. “Uh, thanks. So do you. Is that a new outfit?” she asked, noting that Taryn had begun wearing maternity clothes.

              Taryn smiled and put a hand on her growing stomach. “A Valentine’s gift from Brogan. He’s such a sweet man. So looks like tonight is going to be another success.”

              Meredith smiled and nodded as she glanced around the crowded restaurant. “Looks like it. We have a few clients now from Seattle who are driving down. We’re getting bigger and bigger. We’re looking at expanding to having social mixers in Seattle and Olympia. We’re going to have to hire a few more people soon.”

              Taryn nodded and glanced over her shoulder at Brogan. “He loves it. The idea of creating a website that brings people together so they can fall in love is right up his alley. He’s such a romantic. He loves nothing more than seeing people as happy as he is. Speaking of which. How are things with you and Asher?”

              Meredith’s eyes went big and she smiled brightly. “Great! Things are great with Asher and me. He should be here soon as a matter of fact.”

              Taryn tilted her head and looked at her doubtfully. “BFF’s don’t lie to each other. You should talk to him tonight. It’s silly how you’re ignoring each other.”

              Meredith blushed and hugged herself, wishing she was at home watching Netflix with a carton of Ben and Jerry’s. “Yeah, well life doesn’t work out the way we want it to sometimes. Just ask your mom.  By the way, how is Anne? I’ve been thinking about her.”

              Taryn sighed and looked at her feet for a moment.  “She’s surviving. That’s the best word I can come up with. I guess age has nothing to do with passion or love. She’s trying as hard as she can to get over her ex, but it’s been a struggle. She knows he’s no good for her, but her heart doesn’t care.  Thank goodness she’s listening to her head on this one.”

              Meredith swallowed sickly, wishing she could follow Anne’s example. But like Anne, her heart had a head of its own.

              “Tell your mom I said, hi. And thanks…for
um,
being my friend. I know I’m not the easiest person to be friends with so I’m grateful.”

              Taryn’s face softened and she reached over and hugged her quickly.  “You and me both.”             

              Meredith blushed as a smile lit up her face. “Well, I’ve gotta mingle. Have fun, tonight,” she said and knew she meant it. Taryn might be scary, but she’d rather have her for a friend than an enemy any day.