Authors: Kristan Higgins
By the time we pulled up in front of the Roosevelt Center on East 65th Street, it was three-thirty in the afternoon, a miracle of efficiency on the part of Nick’s travel agent and assistant, and still Nick’s father was missing. A detective and the director of the facility, an understandably anxious woman named Alicia, greeted us and brought us into a sitting room.
“Mr. Lowery,” she said to Nick, “you have my deepest apologies on this. Apparently, one of the new staffers inadvertently shut off the front door alarm, and—”
“We’ll deal with how this happened later on,” Nick said tersely. “What are you doing right now, where have you looked, what was my father wearing, how many people are out looking?”
They filled us in on the efforts thus far—an APB, photos, news coverage, neighborhood canvassing, K-9 unit. They handed us the flyer they were passing out, which featured a large, clear photo of Nick’s dad. My heart lurched. Mr. Lowery—
Call me Ted
—had aged shockingly. His hair was thin and white, and his face held a slack, sweet expression. He couldn’t have been more than sixty-five, but he looked eighty.
“Is there anywhere he might’ve wanted to go, Nick?” I asked when the briefing was over. I didn’t watch
Law & Order
for nothing.
“I was just about to ask that,” Detective Garcia said.
Nick ran a hand through his hair. “Did you call his old company?” he asked. “Maybe he went there.”
A quick phone call ascertained that Mr. Lowery had not shown up at his old building on Madison Avenue. Though it seemed unlikely that he’d have the ability to find his way back to his old house in Westchester County, the current owners were notified and asked to call immediately if they saw him.
Neither Lila nor Jason had returned Nick’s calls.
“Any sentimental places he’d go, Nick?” I asked. “Central Park? Maybe his favorite restaurant? The zoo?” I hesitated. “Places he took you boys as kids?”
Nick glanced at me, then slumped back in his chair. “I don’t know,” he admitted. Because of course, Ted hadn’t taken him many places at all. “Jason might have a better idea.” He closed his eyes. “Well, I’m not going to just sit here,” he said. “I’ll head for the park. What was he wearing this morning?”
The director glanced anxiously at Detective Garcia. “Well, here,” she said. “We have the security tape, in which you can clearly see your father leaving and heading west.”
The tape was already loaded; the director clicked the remote, and we saw the front entrance of the Roosevelt Center. A second later, the film showed a man simply walking out the door.
The quality of the film was good; it was definitely Mr. Lowery, clad in what appeared to be a sport coat, dark T-shirt and sneakers.
No pants. None at all. I clutched Coco a little more tightly.
“Oh, shit,” Nick muttered. “He’s wandering the city bare-assed?”
I bit my lip, and Nick glanced at me. “Don’t laugh,” he warned, but his mouth twitched.
“No. Not funny at all,” I agreed. “I’ll go with you, Nick.”
Coco, Nick and I took a bunch of flyers and headed west, toward the park and Museum Mile, past the limestone and brick townhouses adorned with wrought-iron balconies, down the tree-lined streets of the wealthy. We passed a homeless man, sleeping next to the garbage cans in front of a beautiful brownstone. It wasn’t Mr. Lowery, but Nick took a good look anyway, then took a twenty out of his wallet and tucked it into the guy’s boot.
“I thought the mayor discouraged that,” I said.
“Screw the mayor,” Nick answered. I had to trot to keep up. Coco, however, loved the pace and galloped joyfully on her leash. Despite biking to and from work each day, I was panting by the time we reached Fifth Avenue. It was so hot, and the air was heavy and damp.
“Nick, can you slow down a little?”
“My father’s out there somewhere,” he said tightly, walking across the street against the light. Swallowing, I dashed after him—I’d never mastered the art of jaywalking.
“Nick, wait,” I said. I grabbed his hand and dug in my heels, stopping him. “Just…wait.”
“Harper—” His voice choked off, and I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his neck.
“This will turn out okay, you’ll see,” I said. “But it’s a big city. Let’s try to be smart about this, because we can’t just run all over Manhattan. Where do you think he’d go?”
He pulled back and rubbed his eyes. “I don’t know, Harper. I just…we never did that much together. If that idiot Jason would call, maybe he’d know, but I just can’t think of anything.”
“Okay, well, what do we know? He’s not at work…anything he’s always loved? Like, I don’t know…dinosaurs? Maybe he’d head to the Museum of Natural History?”
Nick shrugged. “I don’t think so.”
“What about horses? He rode, right? Isn’t there a stable somewhere in the park?”
Nick’s face lit up. “You’re a genius, Harper.” With that, he hailed a cab.
T
WO HOURS LATER, WE’D
come up empty. No sign of Mr. Lowery, not at either of the two uptown stables, not at the recreation center in the park itself where the trail rides began. Nick had called the police with the idea that his father might’ve sought out a place with horses, and they were doing the same thing we were, with unfortunately the same results.
We passed out a bunch of flyers, spoke to everyone we could, but things were looking bad. At this point, we were simply walking through Central Park, which was full of the usual suspects—tourists from all over the earth, runners, students lounging on the grass, kids climbing on the rocks. I’d forgotten how loud New York was, the endless noise of traffic, horns blasting, sirens calling, the chatter of people, the blare of radios and street musicians.
Nick had been checking in with the nursing home and cops every fifteen minutes. Apparently, there’d been a few reports of a man matching Mr. Lowery’s description, but none had turned out to be the real deal.
I myself was sticky, dirty and getting more and more anxious as the day wore on. And starving—my last meal, for lack of a better word, had been a pack of pretzels on the airplane. I bought a hot dog from a street vendor for Coco while Nick was on the phone, but only had enough cash for one. I carried Coco now, concerned about the effects of asphalt on her little paws, and my arms were aching. She may have weighed only eight pounds, but she felt like an unconscious Great Dane at this point.
It was hard not to picture the worst-case scenario…poor Mr. Lowery wandering onto the West Side Highway or falling into the East River or being hurt by an evil thug. My heart ached for Nick—such a devoted son, despite his father’s shortcomings.
Jason had called; apparently he was at a casino in Vegas and had no suggestions on where to look for his adoptive father. Chris was still out of reach, though Nick left him another message.
“We’ll find him,” I said, not at all convinced of the truth of that statement. Nick nodded, clearly disheartened.
Then his phone rang. “Nick Lowery,” he answered. His expression changed. “Where? Okay. We’re on our way.” He hung up, grabbed my hand and started running for the street. “You were right about the horses,” he said. “Someone spotted a guy with no pants down by the carriages and called it in. Taxi!” A yellow cab veered out of traffic and Nick opened the door. I slid in, Coco in my arms, more grateful than I could say at getting off my feet.
“Fifth and Fifty-Ninth,” Nick told the cabbie, then turned to me. “By the time the cop got to the spot where the guy had seen him, Dad was gone, but someone maybe saw him heading down Fifth, so…” His voice was hopeful, his knee jiggling with nervous energy.
It was clear the cops were on the job, because there was a glut of black-and-white cruisers there on Fifth where horse carriages lined the sidewalks across from the Plaza Hotel. Nick’s phone rang again. “Yeah? Okay. Okay, sure.” He clicked off. “Another possible sighting by St. Pat’s.” He knocked on the Plexiglas divider. “Keep going down Fifth, okay?” he asked. “Real slow. I’m looking for my dad.”
We passed FAO Schwartz and CBS, Bergdorf Goodman and Tiffany’s, as well as places that hadn’t been there when I’d lived here—Niketown and Abercrombie. There was Rolex, Cartier Jeweler’s, St. Thomas, the beautiful Episcopal church with the blue stained-glass windows and white marble altar, a place where I’d sought refuge from the heat one summer day. Midtown was packed, as it was now well into rush hour.
“You’d think someone would stop an old guy without pants,” I murmured, looking out my side of the window. Then again, this was New York City.
“Yeah,” Nick said, gnawing on his thumbnail. At St. Patrick’s Cathedral, his phone rang again, just as we were pulling over. “Shit. Where? Okay.” He hung up. “Keep going, okay?” he asked the cabbie.
“Whatever you want, mister,” the driver answered, glancing in the rearview mirror.
“They got a call from someone who might’ve seen him farther downtown,” Nick informed me, looking out the window. “The cops are all over St. Pat’s, but nothing yet.”
Half a block farther, Nick lurched forward. “Stop! Pull over! There he is,” he said, pointing.
And sure enough, Mr. Lowery—though I wouldn’t have recognized him—was shambling along in front of the flag-bedecked building that was Saks Fifth Avenue. Still no pants, I noted. Traffic was thick, and Nick didn’t bother waiting for the driver to make it to the curb. He threw a few bills at the driver and was out of the car before it stopped. A good number of horns blasted as he dodged through the heavy traffic to the sidewalk. “Be careful!” I shouted.
The cabbie pulled over—on the opposite side of the street from Saks, alas, but traffic was like a solid wall. “Good luck,” he said as I got out with Coco.
“Thanks,” I called. Dang. I couldn’t see Nick or Mr. Lowery—wait, there was Nick, just disappearing into Saks. Surely the security guards would grab Mr. Lowery.
Clutching the ever-heavier Coco to my chest, I ran to the corner to cross the street with the light, dodging people, bumping into more than a few. “Sorry, sorry,” I said, waiting impatiently for the light to change yet unwilling to defy death by crossing against it.
Then I saw Mr. Lowery. He wasn’t in Saks…he was across the street in all his pantsless wonder, sport coat still on, scratching his, um…okay! Where was a cop when you needed one? And of course, Nick was inside the store.
At least now Mr. Lowery was getting some attention; passersby stared, grabbed their kids and steered well clear of him as he crossed the intersection, looked up at the store on the corner, and went inside.
It was American Girl Place, that bastion of juvenile femininity. Dolls. Dress-up clothes. Tea parties. And now, a half-naked old man.
“Oh, shit,” I muttered.
Then the light changed, and I flew across the street and into the foyer of the store, which was packed with, oh, hell,
dozens
of girls and their parents, red-and-white bags everywhere. Holding Coco tightly as she wriggled in excitement, I stood on tiptoe and peered in each direction. No Mr. Lowery. Come on! Where’d he go? He hardly blended in here.
There he was, just disappearing around a display of cheerful dolls all dressed in purple leotards.
“Mommy!” said a little girl. “I can see that man’s—”
“OMG!” I shouted as loudly as I could. “Justin Bieber is right outside! I just saw Justin Bieber!”
The air split with high-pitched squealing, and suddenly, several dozen girls stampeded for the door. I dodged, twisted, got a little trampled, but then again, I just saved about a hundred girls from learning far too much about the aging male anatomy. Dodging shrieking females, I ran to where Mr. Lowery had disappeared. Coco barked as I passed a tired-looking security guard (who obviously wasn’t all that good at her job!). “No dogs in the store, ma’am,” she said wearily.
“Yeah, and no naked old men, either, but that’s what you have, so let’s shake it, okay?” I called over my shoulder. There was an escalator in front of me, a hallway to my right. I hesitated, then charged up the escalator, and there he was, right in front of gift wrapping. His thin white hair was disheveled, his shoes filthy. The young woman behind the counter apparently couldn’t see that he had nothing on below the waist except Nikes, because she asked very sweetly, “And what can I do for you today, sir?”
“Mr. Lowery?” I said. He didn’t turn my way. The security guard arrived, panting a bit. “Can you get him something to wear?” I whispered.
“Like what? Felicity’s nightgown?” she muttered. “My shift ended two minutes ago.”
“Be helpful,” I said. “Random act of kindness, okay?” I cleared my throat. “Mr. Lowery? Ted?”
He turned, and my heart broke a little.
“Hi,” I said. “How are you? Haven’t seen you for a while.” I smiled past the lump in my throat. He didn’t much resemble the man I once knew, that smug, confident schmoozer who neglected his firstborn son. No. This man was confused, lost and old before his time.
“Do I know you?” he asked hesitantly.
“I’m your son’s wife,” I said.
“Jason? Jason’s married?” He frowned.
“No. Not yet. I’m Nick’s wife. Harper. Remember?”
“Nick?”
“Yes. Your son Nick. Your oldest boy.” I smiled again and approached slowly—after all, this guy had been dodging NYPD all day, and I didn’t want him cavorting through the store, flashing little girls.
“Oh, yes. I have boys. Sons.”
“Good guys, too. Handsome like their dad, right?”
He smiled at that, and I saw a hint of the man he’d once been. “That’s a nice dog,” he said, reaching out to pet Coco. Bless her noble heart, she licked his hand and wagged, and Mr. Lowery smiled. “Can I hold him?” he asked.
“Sure. But she’s a girl.”
“I only have sons,” he said.
The guard came back with a blanket. “Best we could do,” she said, much less grumpily.
“I’m gonna call Nick, okay, Mr. Lowery? He’s been on a trip, and he’s dying to see you,” I said.
The man who was once my father-in-law looked up at me and grinned, the ghost of his old personality flitting across his face. “Call me Ted.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
T
HREE HOURS LATER
, I was alone in the very comfortable sitting room of the Roosevelt Center, Coco snoring on my lap. She was happy—she ate a cheeseburger as big as she was, then morphed into a therapy dog, charming the residents with her tricks of paw-raising and leaping straight up and down. Nick had been busy getting his father settled, then had to go off with the director to fill out forms, receive apologies, inspect the alarm system and God knew what else.
I sighed, bone-weary. It was hard to believe today had begun with Nick and me in bed together, somewhere in the heartland. Yesterday (yesterday!), I’d seen my mother. Less than a week ago, my sister had gotten married. My father was getting divorced, and God only knew what would happen to BeverLee.
I thought of my little house in Menemsha, of sitting on the deck with Kim and a glass of wine, the sound of the water splashing against the hulls of the fishing boats, the wind shushing in the long grass. It seemed like a lifetime since I’d been home.
Apparently, those thoughts were just too much to be wrangled with, because I dozed off. Next thing I knew, Nick was kneeling in front of me. “Hey,” he said with a smile.
“Hi,” I answered, lurching upright. “How’s your dad?”
“Sleeping. He’s doing okay. He was a little dehydrated, but otherwise, fine.” He looked at me, and the clock seemed to stop. “You were great today, Harper,” he said. Then he put his head in my lap and closed his eyes, and a wave of love washed over me so big and strong it took my breath away.
“Well, chasing after pantsless men has always been a hobby of mine,” I whispered. “There’s a website for us. PantslessMenLovers.com.” I stroked Nick’s hair, and as always, the glints of silver in the dark brown gave me a pang. Who took care of Nick? I wondered. He looked after everyone else…Christopher, Willa, his father…and, for this past week, me. Well, for tonight, anyway, I’d take care of him.
“You ready to go home, big guy?” I asked.
Nick looked up, his eyes crinkling. “Yeah. As fun as it’s been, I’m ready for this day to be over.”
We got a cab, and when Nick gave the address, my mouth fell open. “Really?” I asked.
He shrugged. Maybe he blushed, though it was hard to tell in the erratic light as we headed downtown. Coco yawned, then jumped as a horn blasted.
Twenty minutes later, I saw that it was true.
Nick had never moved from the building where we’d lived together.
As I got out of the cab, the screech of the subway split the air, just as it had so many years ago. Coco twitched and shivered in my arms.
Still a little stunned to be back in the neighborhood, I stared at the building as Nick got our bags from the trunk of the cab. Same pillars, same tall, narrow windows. Nick hit the code on the panel and opened the front door, and as I stepped into the foyer, the same cool smell of stone greeted me. And cabbage. “Don’t tell me Ivan still lives here,” I said.
“I’m afraid so,” Nick answered.
We went up the stairs—four flights, same as when we’d lived there. My heart pounded at the memories…a lot of lonely days, a lot of doubt and fear and homesickness.
A lot of missing Nick.
Inside, though, everything was different, and that…well, that was a relief. I put Coco down, and she trotted off to explore and sniff.
Previously, the apartment had occupied a quarter of the fourth floor in a cramped, awkward design, but the co-op builders had made what had been four apartments into one. Gone were the graying plaster walls, the linoleum that peeled up in the corner of the kitchen, the tiny closet where we’d had to stuff our coats.
Instead, the apartment was much more what you’d imagine for a Tribeca co-op—exposed brick walls, distressed hardwood floor. Nick had always suspected that under the cheap carpeting lurked oak, and while he’d planned to find it, he’d never had time. At least, not while I was around. There was a generous galley kitchen with stone counters and stainless-steel light fixtures, a counter with two very modern-looking stools. A small but comfortable office, impressive computer screen and an entire wall of books on architecture. Dark leather couches in the living room punctuated by steel and glass end tables. On one wall hung an old black-and-white subway sign listing the stops of one of the lines.
“Pottery Barn?” I asked.
Nick shot me a look. “Original, thank you very much. So. This is it. What do you think?”
“It’s very nice, Nick. Very…you.”
“Thanks.”
And it was…or I guessed it was. Back when I knew Nick, he’d wanted all this so much—to prove himself to his father, to be successful at the job he loved, to be financially secure, well regarded. But it was freaking me out a little, too, to be in the home where we’d been, forgive the honesty, so miserable.
We looked at each other for a minute. “You hungry?” I asked. “I’m excellent at making peanut butter sandwiches.”
“That’s okay,” Nick said. “I ate at the nursing home.” Drat. I’d kind of been looking forward to cooking for him. So 1950s of me. “Do you want anything?” he added.
“No, I’m good.”
We stood there another beat or two, and it occurred to me that maybe Nick felt a little uncertain, too. Should we cuddle? Shag? I was fairly grimy. “Well, how about a shower?”
“Absolutely. Right this way.” Down the hall—we’d had no hall, it was too small for that—and into a wicked awesome bathroom tiled with speckled brown granite. A glassed-in shower area, a sink that looked more like a piece of modern art than somewhere to spit toothpaste. “Towels are here,” he said, and there they were, plush and inviting. “Anything else you need? I’ll put your suitcase in the, um, in the bedroom.” So he
was
nervous. For some reason, I found that quite the turn-on. Aw…he was blushing, and his hair was standing almost straight up, so many times had he run a hand through it in frustration and fear this long day. Right now he looked both hopeful and weary.
I turned on the water and stood for a second, watching it gush out of the generous showerhead. “Nick?”
“Yeah?”
I undid the first button of my shirt. “Wanna save water?”
He looked at me for a second, then smiled, that flashing, transforming smile. You see, back when he was a grad student and I was in college, back before so much had gotten in our way, that had been our little joke—save water, wash up and oh, yes, maybe indulge in a little steamy sex, as well. “We
are
in a drought,” he said, then crossed the small distance between us, wrapped his arms around me and moved so that we were both in the shower, fully clothed and now soaking wet. I smiled against his mouth and then unbuttoned his shirt and did my best to take care of him.