My Real (16 page)

“Why didn’t you call her and get this straightened out?”

“I’ve been trying for days to call her. She won’t answer.”

She sits down on the edge of my bed. “Do you love her?”

“You know I do.”

“Do you care that she can’t have your baby?”

“No. We can adopt or hire a surrogate mother. Hell, I don’t even know if she wants more kids. If she doesn’t want them, then Emerson doesn’t get a sister or a brother. I don’t care. I just want her.”

“Then why are you lying in bed? Why aren’t you trying to talk to her?”

“She left me, mom.”

“Honey, a woman losing her ability to have a baby is a big deal. This is not something she shared with you lightly,” she explains as she stands and starts picking my dirty clothes up from around the room and putting them in the hamper. “You said you were talking about the fact that you wanted Emerson to have siblings. She probably feels awful for not being able to do that for you. It may even make her feel like less of a woman.”

“Less of a woman? Just because she can’t have a baby. I don’t care about that. I love her.” I explain as she pulls my gym bag out of the closet.

“Then you need to tell her that,” she answers as she throws my bag at me.

“What is this for?”

“For you to pack. You have a long drive to Penn State ahead of you. You go get your girl.”

She’s right. Why did I let her run away? Why am I not doing more to talk to her? I was out of the bed and in the shower before my mom was out my front door, and was on the road within the hour. It’s Thursday night and I have a four hour trip ahead of me. If I’m lucky, I can make it there before she leaves for class in the morning.

All the way there, I try to run though everything that I want to say to her. She needs to realize all the reasons I love her and the reasons we should be together.

“Bailey, would you snap out of it? You’ve been moping around all week long and frankly, I’m getting tired of it. You brought this on yourself, and you can end it all with one phone call.” Ella lectures me as we walk across campus to our final day of grad class.

“I don’t know what to say to him.”

She stops dead in the middle of the sidewalk, turns me around, and holds my shoulders in place. “It’s not a matter of what you need to say to him. You need to let him respond and ask questions,” she drops her arms as she continues. “You’re not being fair to him by saying something like that and running away. You’re also not being fair to yourself. You could be running away from the perfect man, because you’re afraid he might reject you. In the very least, you need to hear him out,” she finishes and turns me around to see Andrew sitting on a bench ahead of us. He stands and puts his hands in his pockets when he sees us.

“What’s he doing here?” I ask terrified that I have to face him.

“He texted me last night and said he was on his way up here to talk to you. I told him I’d deliver you to that bench and give you plenty of time to talk before class started. I’m going to get a bagel and a coffee from the café. Go. Listen to what he has to say.”

“Bitch.” I said lovingly as I hugged her.

“I love it when you swear at me,” Ella answers before walking away.

I stand rooted in my spot for what seemed like hours. I can’t make myself move. Andrew walks toward me.

“Hi Bailey. I’ve missed you so much,” he says as he gets closer.

My face blushes, and I quickly look down. What am I going to say to him?

“Come sit with me. I practiced this speech all the way up here so you don’t have to say a word.” He takes my hand, and walks me over to the bench, pulling me to sit next to him.

“First, half of the things that you said to me in that park, I didn’t understand, so you’re going to have to explain them a little slower. The part that I did understand, about the baby, you ran off before I could respond. Would I love for Emerson to have siblings? Sure. I’ve always imagined myself with a bunch of kids.”

I look down at our hands, still intertwined in each other. I’m a nervous wreck. This is the reason I hate confrontations. My mind can’t catch up with what I want to say. I open my mouth to start apologizing, but he continues quickly.

“I’ve also always pictured myself married to the same woman for the rest of my life and look how that turned out. It never crossed my mind to leave you, because you couldn’t carry my child. It wasn’t until my mom explained what you might be going through that I realized that there was no need for this break up. I came all this way to tell you what I would have told you in that park if you’d have given me one minute to process. It doesn’t matter to me. I don’t care if we don’t have any children together, if we adopt a baby, or if we go through a surrogate mother. As long as you are by my side, I will be the happiest man alive.”

“But you want to have more children. I can’t give that to you.”

“People can change their dreams if it means they get to keep the ones that mean the most to them, Bailey. My new dream includes you. If that means it’s just the three of us, then that’s our dream.”

I am fighting back the tears that are forcing their way though. I thought I was all cried out. The difference now is that they are happy tears. I’m at a complete loss for words. I really thought that he wouldn’t want me, because I am defective. Who signs on to be with a woman who is broken? This man. I am overwhelmed with emotion and running out of time before my class starts.

“Listen, I know you have class. I will meet you right here when it’s over. I’m taking you and Ella out to dinner tonight. We can talk about this more tonight.” He stands and takes my hands to pull me up. Placing his hands on my cheeks, he says, “Have fun in class.” He pulls me into a hug and then places a single kiss on my nose before turning me around and sending me off to class.

Oh, how I love this man.

I’m sitting on the bench waiting for Bailey to come out of class. I have flowers and a gift bag sitting next to me. She never got the full dating experience from me. We just kind of jumped in feet first, so I’m going all out. Actually, come to think of it, Dave never gave her the full romantic experience either. We all just started hanging out together, and they just fell together, too.

Ella texted me at lunch time and said that she was going to drive Bailey’s car home right after class, so I shouldn’t expect her to come out to dinner with us. I asked the older lady at the flower shop for some suggestions for a fancy place to eat. I walked past some of them, because I knew Bailey wouldn’t be comfortable at a stuffy expensive restaurant. I found a romantic little place downtown and made reservations. My last stop was to a store to find a dress for her to wear. In doing wash together, I’ve quickly come to learn that she likes the clothes at New York and Co, so I went in and threw myself at the mercy of the sales lady.

I was done with that all way too fast. I walked around town a little bit and found myself in a jewelry store. That little gift, I have tucked away in my glove compartment of my car. Bailey is still not ready for that today, but it’s going to come sooner than I had originally planned. Being away from her this week and the way that it happened has shown me many things. First, I need make sure I let her know exactly how I am feeling. No more waiting. And second, I had fallen harder than I thought I had for this girl.

“I’m so glad that class is over. That was the longest week of my life,” I sigh as I pack up my iPad and notebook.

“That had nothing to do with the class. If someone wouldn’t have been so thick headed and listened to me in the first place, we could have had a lot more fun up here.”

“I’m surprised you just didn’t come out and say ‘I told you so.’ But, I will for you, you were right. I should have listened to you from the start.”

“I’m such a great friend,” Ella laughs giving me a pat on the back.

“You are, thank you,” I reply as we walk out of the building only to find Andrew standing at the bench in front of the building.

“Oh my,” I mutter under my breath. He is drop dead gorgeous in his black suit jacket that looked like it was made just for him. He got his too long hair trimmed. It still looks a little unruly but I love the way it looks. He has on a crisp white dress shirt with two buttons open at the top, jeans, and black loafers. I look down at my running shorts and tank top and realize I am way underdressed.

“Hey there Lover Boy. You look simply eatable,” Ella tells him as we get closer.

With his eyes never leaving mine he replies, “I’m hoping Bailey agrees.” I give him a big smile in appreciation.

“Keys please,” Ella says thrusting her hands in my direction. When she sees that my attention has not left Andrew she starts snapping at me. “Keys, Bailey.”

I shake my head and look at her. “What?”

“Give me your keys woman. I have a long trip ahead of me, and I want to get started before it gets too dark.”

Andrew offers the explanation I’m waiting for. “She is driving your car back home tonight. We are staying until tomorrow.”

Confused, I dig in my purse and hand her my keys as she hands me her swipe card to the dorm room. She leans in, hugs me, and whispers in my ear. “Let him in. This man is head over heels in love with you.” She kisses me on the cheek and starts walking toward the parking lot.

“Wait, your stuff is still in the room.”

“Nope, I packed it into your car while you were in the shower,” she replies without turning around.

“Sneaky bitch,” I say to myself.

“You have gotten quite a potty mouth on you,” Andrew looks at me in shock.

“Spending a week with her will do that to a nun. You look very handsome, by the way. I have nothing with me that will come close to what you are wearing,” I explain as he hands me the black gift bag he is holding in his hand.

“This will solve that problem. Let’s go back to the dorm room. You can get changed, pack, and check out. These are also for you,” he says as he holds up a bunch of star gazer lilies, my favorite, takes my hand, and steers me in the direction of the dorm.

“I’ve missed you so much this week,” I say quietly looking down at the ground. “I’m really sorry about the way I handled the whole thing. I thought that I had come to terms with the fact that I can’t have a baby. When you brought it up in the park that day, the whole thing came crashing down on me again.”

Andrew stops and turns toward me. “We will get through this. I promise. Now, go up there and get ready. We have a reservation soon, and I’m starving.” He grabs my hand, squeezes it three times, and leads me toward the dorm.