My Soul Laid Bare: Book 4 (The Soul Keeper Series) (32 page)

“
Madame President, with all due respect, that is too much of a risk. You are only allowed to fly in Air Force One
,
” the Vice President pipes up. Aiden Parker, a relic from my past, was the guy that helped with the sabotaging little intern forcing her to quit after she tried to screw me out of a job. Now he is my VP and a very good one at that. He can smile and wave with the best of them.  He explores my face for a moment trying to find a way to calm and console me.

“
I know how worried you must be, but you have the worl
d’
s best search teams at your fingertips. Use them. They are trained just for this very thing. The world needs you
.
” His words are sincere.

“
I need eyes on the ground. At least send up a camera with the next pass. Keep this from the press for at least another six hours
,
” I direct to the group. I turn and lock eyes with Elena. She holds all of the answers. She knows without a doubt if Sam is alive
.“
Elena, may I speak with you alone
?
”

Everyone leaves, and a moment later i
t’
s just the two of us. As soon as the heavy door seals shut, I look to her for answers.

The look in her eye tells me everything I already know deep down. She comes to stand in front of me and pulls me in tight
.“
He's gone, Bren. I'm sorry. It was his time. The demons had nothing to do with this one. He's in heaven now
.
” I shake my head still hoping there is a way this is all wrong.
“
No Elena he ca
n’
t be gone,
,
” I sob out
.“
He said h
e’
d be home Sunday so we could talk to Will and Elara. We were finally going to talk to them about their gifts, together
.
”

Elena strokes my hair and whispers
,“
I know sweet child. I know
.
”

“
Why did
n’
t Will save him
?
” I ask through shuttered breaths. My fingers tremble as I raise a hand toward my lips.

She pulls back and looks into my eyes trying to gather the right words
.“
Sa
m’
s life was never going to go beyond August fourth, two thousand thirty-two. It is not our place to say who we save and who we do
n’
t. We can only obey
Him
. We do not know when the life of each person we guard will come to an end, but we inherently know in the moment just before a crisis if we are to react or disengage. I know it was hard for Will to sit by and let Sam go. It may be the hardest thing Will has ever had to do. H
e’
s never been a part of a human life for so long before. Sam was special to him. He was special to all of us.
I’
ve watched the love between you two grow over these last few years. It was something to behold and cherish.  I think it taught us all something. You may not see it, but the whole world does. You and Sam taught the world how to love, Brennen
.
”

“
I need to see him. Take me to him now Elena
.
”

“
I can't do that Brennen
.
”

“
Why the hell not
?
”

“
You'll see in a moment
.
” Her liquid brown eyes plead with me to understand. Elena is resolved in her decision, and I can't believe she would deny me the chance to say goodbye. She reluctantly turns and walks out leaving me in the conference room alone and burdened. I sink into the plush leather chair and listen to the recording again. I listen to my sweet husbands last words over and over again.

My personal cell phone rings in my pocket, and I glare at the screen to see whose calling. Mia's face lights up the screen. She implores me to pick up with those warm amber eyes that match Sam's to a T. What can I say to her? I have to tell her the devastating news. I have to be the one to break it to her, to both of them. They've lost everyone. I've lost everyone. William and Elara are the only thing keeping me tied to this earth. I have to explain to them that their daddy isn't coming home.

The phone continues to ring, and I finally pick up.

“
Brennen, thank God. Something terrible has happened
.
”

How did she know? Was there a leak? My blood boils with anger. I hate living in the spotlight. Everyone knows everything that happens with us at any given time of day. Six hours is all that I asked for.

“
It's Cat, she fell off a horse and... She's gone Brennen. They say she broke her neck
.
”

The shock of her words catches me off guard, and for a second, I'm relieved. My mind is still reeling with Sam's death, and I can't put the pieces together that I know are staring me in the face. Cat had been assigned to protect Mia and Maci when Sam and I left Texas for D.C. She posed as the ranch manager for all these years. With Malphas contained, we didn't know if the evil ones would break their agreement.   But, why would an angel fake her own death?

“
I'm so sorry Mia. Listen, I am going to arrange for you and Maci to board a flight to D.C. There is something I need to tell you, and I can't do it over the phone. Can you get to the airport in the next couple of hours? I'll have Elena call you with the details
.
”

She does
n’
t press me for answers, and I'm grateful.  I walk down to the action room. Dozens of television monitors line the wall, and small desks of workers gather every shred of evidence they can find. The room buzzes with the sounds of urgency and desperation. The screens all show the same shot, a camera pans over the open ocean. Nothing for miles but rows and rows of choppy waves, a watery grave for the man who loved me with all of his heart. They had better find his body. I won't have my sweet Sam resting in the tumultuous sea. He deserves his own castle in the middle of the forest: for all of the good that he did in this world, for loving me the way he did, for loving two children like they were his own flesh and blood and never a spark of disbelief that they were anything but. Sam deserves more.  This is not fair!
Please, bring my Sam home.  I nee
d
…
I cannot finish my thought because ultimately what I need is him, and like a violent wave of vinegar through my veins, the realization hits home that I cannot have him.

One half of me wants to curl up into a ball and cry for weeks, but I'm the president. And I'm expected to be strong. What I really am is a zombie, numb from the pain of dying all over again today. I'm here, but I'm not. Aiden joins my side as we stare up at the screens both hoping to see something, anything resembling our best friend.

“
I sent for his sisters. They'll be here soon
.
”

“
Have hope Brennen
,
” Aiden says as if he's still trying to convince himself to do the same. I wish I could have hope, but now I know Sam is no longer on this planet. Sam is walking with Emily. He's probably getting a noogie from my dad and filling my grandmother in on the twin
s
’ latest achievements. Sam's dad is probably hugging him and showing him around. Then there is Cat
.“
Death absolves marriage
,
”
I hear my mother say in my head.  Suddenly I see the puzzle pieces come together as they snap firmly in place. She is with him. I am stuck here, and she is with him. My heart breaks all over again.

We were finally in a good place and the
y––
no,
HE
ripped him from my life. My chest heaves as if i
t’
s being crushed by a dull guillotine. Aiden throws his arm under me as my legs threaten to give up. He motions for a chair, and someone slides one up behind me. He eases me into the seat, but I do
n’
t really see any of that. My thoughts have blinded me from the present, and all I can picture is Sam running into her waiting arms. He twirls her around and presses his lips to hers. The
y’
re soul mates reuniting, and I know all too well what that feels like. I let out a whimper as I see the love emanating from his eyes for her. Not for me, for her. My breathing becomes quick and short, and I fight to keep it together because I know the room is now focused on me. I need to get out of here. I need to be alone.

“
Elena
,
” I manage to whisper still blinded to the world around me. I ca
n’
t rip the image away. H
e’
s holding her so intimately now, bathing her with his touch in a way that I was certain was only meant for me. My tears flow freely, and I ca
n’
t turn away. I deserve this. I deserve every bit of this torture for what I put Sam through.  

“
Come Brennen. Le
t’
s go somewhere more private
.
” I hear Elen
a’
s voice and briefly see a glimpse of her face before
I’
m thrown right back into the scene I just left. I feel myself being led somewhere, and my sights go between reality and the nightmare as we walk. My stomach twists in knots. This is exactly what I put him through. No, what I did was even worse. I did
n’
t wait until death absolved our marriage. I let Elijah in knowing full well that I was married. I never had any power to resist him. He was my weakness and I was his. I know Sam was with Cat during our separation. He never tried to hide it from me. He could
n’
t hide it, anyway. I think it was part of the rift that kept us from fully giving into one another during that first year. I knew he loved her, and she had brought him comfort while I was pregnant from an affair. I know I should be happy for him now that he is finally in the arms of his true soul mate. Maybe if our love had
n’
t completely taken over my soul, I would still feel that way. I am on an emotional roller coaster without the restraints. And the truth is, now,
I’
M PISSED!. Maybe I have no right to be. However, right now, I could string an angel up by their wings, and Elena may be just the bird for the job.

I glare up at her as I take in my surroundings. Sh
e’
s brought me into the oval office. Perfect! She can be strung up on the balcony from the flag pole
.“
You
,
” I seethe out as I give her a pointed stare and wipe the tears from my cheeks.

I go to lunge for her, and she points her finger at me and focuses her eyes on my face. All of a sudden, I ca
n’
t move. Somehow, sh
e’
s bound me to the chair
.“
Do not think that I am in this position lightly. I have gifts that you have yet to witness, and hopefully never will
.
”

I let out an exasperated sigh and growl at her
,“
Elena. Let. Me. Go
!
”

“
Not until you calm down. I
t’
s my duty to keep you safe. Attacking me will only bring harm to you
.
” She circles my chair and stands behind me. I struggle in my seat, but i
t’
s as if a rope is wrapped around my arms and feet. I let out another snarl.

“
I see you must have figured out that he is with Cat
.
”

“
Good job, Sherlock
!
”

“
No need for snarky names. I know yo
u’
re hurting. I know you love him with all of your heart. But let me ask you this, if the roles were reversed and you passed away first, if Sam knew yo
u’
d be on the other side with Elijah, do you think h
e’
d want you to go on pining for him and not be in your soul mat
e’
s arms? Be honest
.
”

My shoulders slump a little in defeat
.“
Honestly, I do
n’
t know. I mean this morning, what we share
d
… I mean, he ca
n’
t just forget me so easily and take her up. Can he
?
”

“
No Brennen. Is that what you are worried about
?
”

I nod feeling broken.

“
First, after being on your guard for twenty years give or take a few, I think I know Sam. He will not fall into Ca
t’
s arms and just forget about you. He will just accept her friendship at first. Just as you and Elijah were able to be best friends at times. His heart will need time to mourn losing you and the children. But he will be surrounded by his family to help him. Not only that, but in heaven, you are filled with a sense of joy and happiness that you just ca
n’
t shake. So he will miss you, but he wo
n’
t long to come back to Earth. You saw Emily. She is happy. She would
n’
t trade places with you, if you begged
.
”