“He will live,” Gabel vowed as he helped strip Ronald of his wet clothes and wrap the man in blankets. “I have been naught but trouble and misery for Ainslee MacNairn, and there is more to come. At least I can give her back the one person who truly cares about her.”
“Do you really think you will ever see her again?” Justice asked quietly.
“I have to,” Gabel replied with an equal softness. “If only to beg her forgiveness for taking everything from her and giving her only heartache.”
Ainslee bit back a groan as consciousness returned and pain flooded her battered body. She felt a strong warm body at her back, and briefly hoped it was Gabel. One glance down at the hands on the reins was enough to smother that hope. She peeked over her shoulder and managed a shy smile for her grim-faced brother Colin. Although the memory of her father’s furious attack was mostly a blur of terror and pain, she knew it was Colin who had saved her life.
“Thank ye,” she whispered, and saw a brief glimpse of softness in his hard blue eyes.
“Ye are my blood. I couldna let my father kill my sister,” he replied in a flat voice.
“And the de Amalvilles?” she asked.
“Have returned to Bellefleur, no doubt to plan the best way to slaughter us.”
She shuddered, for she knew that was exactly the fate her father had brought down on their heads. “And Ronald?” She tensed for his reply.
“I dinna ken what his fate is,” Colin replied, a shadow of regret in his voice. “The last I saw of the mon he was tumbling down the river with that beast of yours racing after him. He took an arrow in the chest.” He tightened his grip on her when she swayed.
“He survived a serious wound before.”
“Aye, but no doubt he had ye fussing o’er him. He will be alone now.”
“Nay,” she said with a conviction she felt deep in her heart. “Sir Gabel will care for him.”
“For a MacNairn? Ye are mad.”
“Nay, Gabel will care for Ronald. He willna leave until he finds Ronald and, if my dear friend lives, Gabel will do all he can to make sure he survives, or he will give him the godly burial he deserves.”
“Weel, believe what ye will. I but pray that, in a few weeks time when we are all scattered on the ground in heaps, there is someone who has the kindness to bury us.”
Ainslee wished she could reassure her brother that their future was not so black, but she was not a good liar, and he had the wit to know when she did lie. Gabel would be in a rage over this treachery and, even if he could find some bloodless way to make her father pay for it, the king would not hear of it. Duggan MacNairn had just thrown away his clan’s last chance for survival, and this time he would not even be able to save himself and his precious sons.
“Wake, Ainslee, but dinna move.”
The whisper drew Ainslee from the restless sleep she had fallen into. She understood the warning behind Colin’s words. Her father was near, and she might draw his attention her way, if she was not careful. Colin might fight to keep her from being murdered, but he could not save her from everything her father might wish to do to her.
As they rode through the heavy gates of Kengarvey, Ainslee was astounded by the work that had been done. With so many enemies surrounding him, her father never had the time to build in stone, even if he had the coin to do so, but it was clear that the battered people of Kengarvey had become very skilled at swiftly enclosing themselves in a wooden keep. The thick stone walls of Kengarvey were still intact, and whatever had survived the latest fire had been put to good use. It did not really matter what her father built his keep of anymore, however, for Ainslee suspected that now even the magnificent Bellefleur could not protect the man.
Once inside the bailey, she caught sight of her father and trembled, hating the fear she felt, but unable to control it. When he dismounted and started to walk toward her, she slumped against Colin and feigned unconsciousness. She had not yet had the time to tend to the injuries he had dealt her, and she could not afford to have anymore added to them.
“So, the little whore is still in a swoon,” Duggan said as he stood next to Colin’s horse and glared at his youngest daughter.
“I believe it may be more serious than a swoon, Father,” Colin murmured. “And why do ye keep calling her a whore?”
“And what do ye think she has been doing with that Norman bastard whilst she has been at Bellefleur?”
“I have no proof that she has been doing anything with him.”
“Those monks softened your wits, lad. Of course, the mon had his fill of her and, since she looked quite hale as she rode to us, I believe she didna put up a fight. ‘Tis a good thing I had no marriage arranged for her, as it would ne’er be done now, and she has cost me enough.”
“I thought we had gained today, for we have Ainslee, and we still hold the ransom ye collected.”
“Aye, true enough. I spit squarely in that Norman pig’s eye, and he willna soon forget it.”
“Nay, he certainly willna,” Colin agreed in a heavy voice.
“Weel, toss the stupid lass somewhere, and come and feast with us. ’Tis a day for celebration.”
“I will join ye soon,” Colin said, but his father was already striding into the keep.
After peeking to be sure that her father had left, Ainslee sat up a little straighter. “He truly believes he has won,” she murmured, astounded that her father could be so blind.
“He did win today,” Colin said as he dismounted, then reached up to take her into his arms.
“Aye, one could say that, but he lost far more than he gained.” She gritted her teeth against the pain in her body as Colin carried her inside and started up the narrow wooden stairs. “He is a dead mon. Ye ken that, dinna ye?”
“Aye, I ken it Ye will see that the fire hasna destroyed everything. ’Tis charred, but your tiny room is still intact.”
“There is a blessing.”
It was not until she was tucked up in her small bed, her injuries washed and bandaged, that Ainslee found another chance to speak privately with Colin. He sat on the edge of her bed and helped her drink some mead. She wished he did not look so downcast, but she had nothing to say which might lift his spirits.
“Ye must leave Kengarvey, Colin,” she said, and reached out to clutch his thin hand in hers.
“Oh? And where shall I go?”
“Back to the monks?”
“I can ne’er go back there. When our father decided I didna need any more learning, he not only took me out of there, but most all else that was of value.”
“He stole from a church? From holy men?”
“Aye, but dinna think all monks are holy men, lass. There were a few there who were weel steeped in sin, and cared little about saving their souls.”
“Weel, there fades my faith in the church.” Ainslee was a little surprised when Colin gave a short bark of laughter. “Gabel will be back, Colin.”
“I ken, and I notice that ye call him Gabel. Mayhaps Father is right.”
“That I am a whore?”
“Nay, only in saying that ye were bedded down with the mon.”
She blushed and grimaced. “Weel, that doesna matter.”
“Not to me, but I shouldna let Father ken that there may have been a softness in that Norman toward you. He would think it something he could use, and ye will find yourself back to standing squarely between the two.”
“Never. I shall never go through that again. But, heed me, Colin, for it could save your life. Gabel will come, and he will raze Kengarvey to the ground. He has no choice. The king will command it. What we must pray for is that only the men from Bellefleur will come to kick down our gates.”
“I canna see that that is something to pray for. How can it help us?”
“Gabel canna hate a person simply because they carry the name MacNairn. He kens the value of mercy. Aye, I think he now has no choice but to kill our father, or at least deliver him to the king, who will kill him. What I fear is that others will join the battle, ones who dearly wish to see every last MacNairn drown in a pool of his own blood, ones such as the Frasers and the MacFibhs.”
Colin sighed and ran his hands through his long, ill-cut auburn hair. “Then we are truly doomed, for they willna cease until naught is left of Kengarvey save blood and ashes.”
“I ken it. So, if—nay,
when
—the enemy comes and ye see that the battle is lost, get yourself to a mon from Bellefleur and surrender.”
“Why? So that I too may be dragged before the king in chains? I much prefer to die by the sword than meet the gruesome death he will deal out.”
“So that ye may have a chance to live. Gabel has sworn that he will do all he can to save all he can. Our father is a dead mon. He died when the first arrow was shot at the river. Ye need not die with him. Nay, not ye or our brothers, if ye can put yourselves in Gabel’s hands. Truly, he doesna wish to eradicate the whole clan. He but seeks peace, and he is willing to believe that he could deal with the sons, even if he can ne’er deal with the father.”
“And how does he mean to deal with the daughter?” Colin asked quietly.
“He means to keep me alive, but he can do nothing else.” She smiled sadly as she relaxed against the hay-stuffed sacks that served as her pillows. “He is too good a mon for a lass like me. Swear to me, Colin, that ye will try to save yourself, and mayhaps one or all of our brothers.”
“I have no wish to die, Ainslee.”
It was not until he left that Ainslee realized he had not sworn to anything. She sighed, realizing that he probably did not believe her, thought that her talk of Gabel’s mercy came from the blindness of a lovesick girl. There was still time to convince him, for she knew it would be weeks before a full battle could be fought. It could even be spring before Duggan MacNairn was forced to pay the full price for his treachery.
She struggled to put aside all her concerns, her fear and grief for Ronald and the pain of leaving Gabel, so that she could rest. It was important that she heal and grow strong again. Before the final battle came to their gates, she was going to have to try and speak to her father, to make him see that he was condemning everyone, and that, even if he could not save himself, he should at least try to save his clan. Such a confrontation could cost her her life and she knew it, but she could not cower in her room without even trying to save her people. At best, she would simply suffer another fierce beating, and she wanted to be strong enough to endure and survive it.
Before she gave in to the urge to sleep, she prayed for Ronald, prayed that he had been found and was alive. If she survived the weeks ahead, she was going to be in need of him, and she did not want him to have paid such a dear price for the treachery of his laird. She also prayed for Gabel. She knew he had seen how her father had greeted her, and his one true concern had been for her safety. He was undoubtedly feeling guilty, and she wanted to survive long enough to relieve him of that burden.
Fifteen
“Ye must speak to the lad,” Ronald said, looking at the two forlorn young men sitting on his bed. “He has sulked for a week now, and that isna helping anyone.”
Justice exchanged a grimace with Michael, and then looked at Ronald. “I am not sure Gabel can help anyone. He knows, as we all do, that he must now face the king with failure and take up the sword against your clan.”
“Aye, for that fool Duggan has given the laddie no choice.”
“You are most calm and accepting about the fact that your people are facing destruction.”
“My people have been facing destruction for years, since my father’s time and, mayhaps, before that. I am nay calm about it for—believe it or not as ye choose—but there are good people there, people who dinna deserve to pay for Duggan’s bloody crimes. Howbeit, the sword has been hanging o’er our heads for many a year, and though it grieves me that Sir Gabel will be the one to wield it, I dinna blame him. I think what truly troubles him is that wee Ainslee is trapped inside those walls.”
“Aye,” agreed Michael. “I think what also deeply troubles him is that he had to sit on that riverbank and watch the girl nearly beaten to death. He could do nothing to help her, and that is a sore blow to a man’s pride.”
“Weel, ’tis past time that he ceased to nurse his poor wee bruised pride and did something.” Ronald smiled when both young men laughed. “I would go and do something meself, at least for my poor lassie, but I need to regain my strength.”
“You are very lucky to be alive, you old fool,” Justice said, a hint of affection in his voice softening the scold. “You took an arrow in that skinny chest and suffered a long swim in the cold water of that cursed river. And you lost a lot of blood. I grow weary of tracking you by what is leaking out of your old body.”
“I swear to keep my body’s humors where they belong from now on.” He laughed, then grimaced when it made him cough. “Now, one or both of you lads are going to have to gird your wee loins and go and talk to your cousin.”
“
Wee
loins?” Michael grumbled, but both Ronald and Justice ignored him.
“Our aunt and cousin have been urging the same,” murmured Justice.
“Then why do ye hesitate?” demanded Ronald. “With each day that passes, Duggan is able to strengthen his defense.”
“True, but do you think he believes we will attack? He acted so victorious that day. He may believe he has beaten us.”
“He will still be strengthening his defenses. The mon and the people of Kengarvey have become verra skilled at rebuilding. True, ‘tis with wood, which can be burned, but there is good solid stone there as weel. ’Tisna as easy as ye may think to bring down Kengarvey.”
“Alright.” Justice stood up and yanked Michael to his feet. “We will go and speak to Gabel. The time has come to face the king and learn just what must be done. If naught else, if Gabel feels a need to aid Ainslee, he cannot do it from his bedchamber.”
Gabel stared out of the narrow window in his bedchamber, cursing his inability to act, yet not moving. His mind was filled with the images of Ainslee helpless on the ground as her father kicked her. It was an image that had haunted his dreams. He had failed her. He had failed his king. About the only good that had come out of that day at the river had been that he had managed to save Ronald’s life, but the man would not have been injured if he had not been such a fool.
What kept Gabel locked in his thoughts, his black mood of despair deepening every day, was the knowledge that he had made a great error, and not just in his confrontation with Duggan MacNairn. He now knew that he should never have let Ainslee go. At the river that day his mistake had been both strategic and emotional. He had cut out his own heart, and he saw no hope of mending the wound.
He sighed when a soft rap came at his door. His command to go away was ignored, and he turned to scowl at Michael and Justice when they entered the room. Caught up in his own thoughts and misery, he not only found it difficult to deal with anyone, but irritating.
“I will not be good company,” he warned as he went to a small table and poured himself a tankard of wine from the jug set there.
“Oh, we are fully aware of that,” replied Justice as he moved to do the same. “ ’Tis why we have all left you alone for a full week. ’Tis time to set aside our cowardice, however.”
“A week?” Gabel asked in a stunned voice, trying to recall how many days had passed and alarmed to find that he had no idea.
“Aye, a week. You came in here to hide the moment we returned to Bellefleur, and no one has seen or heard much from you.”
“Aye,” agreed Michael. “You bellow for food and drink and have inquired about Ronald a time or two, although even that ceased when you were assured that he would live.”
“A week,” Gabel muttered and sank down on his bed.
Justice cursed and sat down beside him as Michael helped himself to some wine. “Must I lay hands upon you and shake you to wake you from this moody sleep?”
“Nay.” Gabel took a long drink of wine and then looked at his cousin. “I but lost count of the days.”
“We began to think you may have lost your mind, but assured ourselves that you would never take a defeat so hard.”
Gabel cursed and stood up to pace the room. “ ’Twas not the defeat, although that was a fool’s errand and a bigger fool’s mistake. I was so intent on protecting everyone from any possible treachery that I did not consider how well such a place could also protect MacNairn.”
“I should not beat myself too severely about that, as I do not believe there was any other place that would have proven better. They all had weaknesses, and most had ones that could have proven deadly to us. Aye, and MacNairn is an arrogant, treacherous dog who has a skill of making defeat taste as bitter as it can.” Justice took a deep breath and ventured, “I do not believe it is the defeat which has cast you into such a dark mood.”
“Nay,” confessed Gabel as he turned to face his cousin. “Not seeing MacNairn’s treachery was not the only mistake I made that day, and I believe it was not the most grievous either.”
“Nay, it was sending that poor girl to her father and then having to watch the man murder her,” said Michael as he sat down next to Justice.
“She was alive,” Gabel snapped.
“Well, aye, I meant to say that he
almost
murdered her.”
“I am sorry,” Gabel said, smiling weakly at his wary young cousin. “I have spent too many hours fearing that she is dead, that I did see her murdered. Reminding myself that I saw her move no longer holds the ability to ease that fear. Aye, I should ne’er have sent Ainslee back to her father.”
“Because you wanted her for yourself,” said Justice, watching Gabel closely. “You could not have kept her as your leman forever. Ainslee MacNairn is not a woman to quietly sit in a cottage somewhere and wait for you to tiptoe away from your wife and spend a few hours with her.”
The distasteful picture Justice drew made Gabel grimace, and he was ashamed to admit that he had contemplated just such an arrangement a time or two. “Nay, Ainslee would never allow that. She would probably have cut my throat if I had even suggested it.” He sprawled in a chair facing the bed and stared into his wine. “Nay, my mistake was in thinking that I could ne’er take a woman like her to wife, that somehow that would hurt Bellefleur.”
“Why should you think such a thing?”
“Because she is a MacNairn?” Gabel smiled faintly when Justice grimaced and nodded. “There was also that fact that she could bring nothing to the marriage save herself. I am not a greedy man, but I had everything planned so carefully, from how much coin my bride should have to where her lands should be. I also considered the power and prestige her family should have. As I watched Ainslee ride into her father’s brutal grasp just to save my arrogant hide, I realized how useless all of that is, and how little I need it.”
“You certainly are not in need of a bride with a heavy purse, and Bellefleur is surrounded by good fields, so, nay, you do not
need
more land. Howbeit, you cannot fault yourself for thinking that that is what one must look for in a bride. ’Tis what we all do. One does not just marry for the begetting of children, but for gain.”
Gabel shrugged. “True, but I did not need to be such a slave to my own plans. Nay, each time I thought I was softening, each time the mere thought of keeping her slipped into my mind, I berated myself and convinced myself that I needed that sort of bride for Bellefleur, that I was doing it all for Bellefleur.”
“And you were not?” Michael asked.
“Nay, I was not. I was doing it because the bride I had planned to take was one of duty. A man does not take a bride like Ainslee out of duty.”
“Ah, I see.” Michael nodded. “You love the girl.”
“Quick, is he not?” drawled Justice, ignoring Michael’s scowl over the insult. “You were not so quick yourself, cousin, if you did not realize what you felt for the girl until she was back in her father’s ungentle hands.”
“Oh, I believe I suspected what was in my heart from shortly after I brought her to Bellefleur.” Gabel shook his head. “I was determined not to let emotion rule me, however, and Ainslee was all emotion.”
“Ah, so she loves you as well,” said Michael, smiling until Justice patted him on the head.
“Such a sweet, simple lad,” Justice murmured, and ducked when Michael tried to hit him.
“Leave him be, Justice,” ordered Gabel, although he found he was able to smile at his cousins’ antics. “Your goading of Michael is no help at the moment. I do not know if she loves me, Michael. I never asked, and she never said anything.”
“She bedded down with you.”
“Passion.”
“Nay. Well, aye, there had to be that. I meant nay, Ainslee MacNairn is no whore or light-moraled girl. I was her guard for most of her stay. I cannot see her bedding down with you just because you made her feel somewhat lustful. She has far too much pride for that.”
“I think the boy has actually spoken with some keenness of wit,” Justice said. “Nay, Ainslee MacNairn may not have said anything about what was in her heart, but it had to be more than passion. Mayhaps she felt you did not
want
to know.”
For a long moment Gabel just stared at Justice as he mulled that over in his mind, his emotions tumbling around inside of him as he began to see the truth of it. He had not asked Ainslee for anything save her passion, and she gave him that in full measure. In the last few days he had tried to pull some vow from her, but, as he thought over his words, he could see how she simply would not have realized what he was trying to make her say. Since, at that time, he had not wanted to be forced to answer in kind, he had been far too subtle.
“Curse my idiocy,” he said after taking a long drink of wine. “Nay, I did not act like a man who had any interest in the true state of her heart. If there was any more to what she felt than the fierce passion neither of us had the strength to resist, I undoubtedly left her afraid to tell me. I certainly gave her no reason to think I was interested.”
“ ’Tis a common mistake between lovers,” Justice reassured him. “After all, who wishes to be the first to bear his heart and soul? Think of the humiliation of doing so, only to find that it is not returned in kind and may never be. And, with Ainslee, she also knew that she would not even be staying here. We never gave her any choice, but to return to Kengarvey.”
“Aye,” agreed Michael. “That plan never changed, so why should she tell you anything? As far as she knew, how she felt or did not feel about you would make no difference.”
“And all of this discussion makes no difference either,” Gabel said as he stood up. “I made a mistake—nay, I made two—I was not as wary as I should have been with MacNairn, and I gave him the only thing I value. I must count myself fortunate that he does not know that. And I must cease to sulk in my room and do something.”
“That is what Ronald said.”
“Is it,” Gabel murmured, and then laughed when Justice grinned and nodded. “That old man grows too comfortable.”
“He calls you
laddie
,” drawled Justice.
“Far too comfortable. Well, the first thing I will do will be to go and assure him that I am no longer gazing blindly at my walls and pitying myself, and that I will do my best to get his lassie back. You two can go and make the preparations for a journey. We will ride to the king’s court on the morrow. ’Tis past time I cease hiding from him as well.”
“I know you are not asleep,” Gabel said as he stood by Ronald’s bed and stared down at the man.
Ronald warily opened one eye and looked up at Gabel. “Ye are a braw laddie, arenae ye. Ye could cause an old mon to suffer quite a fright by looming o’er his deathbed like that.”
“You are not dying.” Gabel sat down on the edge of the man’s bed. “You sent my cousins to berate me.”
“Not to berate you, but to wake ye up, to do something to make ye see that time is slipping by.”