mythean arcana 07 - witchs fate (15 page)

“I don’t know. I just know I can’t live without you anymore.”

“You’re going to have to,” she whispered against his chest. But she clutched his sweater in her hands and didn’t move. She couldn’t move and didn’t want to move. She wanted to freeze like this forever. This was the closest she’d ever get to what she wanted—him—and she didn’t want it to end. But it was a dark comfort, tainted by the knowledge of what he’d done to them.

“I can’t. But I’m fucking this up. I didn’t leave tonight because I think of you as an object. I left because I’m afraid I’m falling in love with you again. I’m afraid I never fell out of love with you.”

Her heart felt like it was tearing into a million pieces. She spoke into his chest because she couldn’t look up. “You didn’t ever love me. If you’d loved me, you wouldn’t have become a warlock. You’d have sacrificed that. As I did. Because I loved you.” But she didn’t love him anymore. She had too much self-respect for that. But for just a minute, she wanted to cling to the idea of what might have been. So she held onto him.

“I think I’m falling for you now,” he said. “And the only way we can have anything is if I don’t do that. I need to keep my heart separate. That’s why I left.”

She looked up at him then, shocked to see the pain in his eyes. “So that’s what this relationship has in store for me if I choose to pursue it? You’ll never love me, and whenever you feel too much, you’ll throw me away?” She pulled out of his arms. “I’m sorry, but that’s not good enough for me. And if you do fall for me, I’ll end up like Laira. Dead. Or you’ll end up dead. Or both of us. Because fate will have its way.”

This was done. Her moment of weakness must be crushed. She stepped back and walked toward the door.

“Sofia.” His voice broke at the end.

She didn’t want to, but she turned.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was rough, his face so pained it almost looked broken. “I’m sorry for how I’ve fucked this up. But I’ll make it better.”

She swallowed hard against the tears. “You can’t.” 

She turned and walked out the door.

“Fuck,” Malcolm hissed when the skillet burned his hand. He blew on it, then grabbed a spatula and flipped the pancake.

Black.

A disgusted sigh escaped him. This was a stupid idea. Even if he could manage to make a decent plate of pancakes, it was still a stupid idea.

Sofia had been right last night. He’d fucked up beyond redemption. Giving her up was the hardest thing he’d ever done. He’d never thought of his actions as throwing her away, but she clearly did. When he thought of it from her perspective, she had a point.

And making her pancakes wasn’t going to fix that. Though he wanted to make things better, he couldn’t fix what was really wrong. He was a warlock. A real relationship was out of the question. After everything he’d done to her…

Just the thought of her tears last night tore a hole in his chest. Gods, he’d been a bastard. When had he turned into this?

And if these pancakes were any indication, he didn’t know how to claw his way back to worthiness. Sofia didn’t deserve someone like him. 

The only problem was, he didn’t know how he’d give her up.

“What are you doing?” Sofia’s sleep-roughened voice sounded from behind him.

He turned. “Making you burned pancakes.”

Her brows rose. “Why?”

“Because I’m trying to not be an asshole.”

“This is sort of like giving someone a band aid for an amputation.” She walked to a cupboard near the dining nook and pulled down a coffee cup and some coffee. “But if you turn this into something drinkable, I’ll consider eating your pancakes.”

Jesus, she was going to make him suffer. But he deserved it. And she was right. His pancakes were barely a band aid. He made her coffee, then returned to the pancakes.

“You don’t just want to use magic?” she asked as he poured more batter.

He looked at her. “I feel like I ought to do this the real way, even if it takes a little longer.”

“Those look terrible, and even if they weren’t, it wouldn’t make any difference.”

“Maybe it will.” He was quicker with the spatula this time and the pancakes turned out all right. He plated them and brought them to her, along with maple syrup.

“For me?” she asked.

He nodded, then set them on the table.

She didn’t say anything as she sat, but she did eat the pancakes.

It’d still been a stupid idea, but the sight of her eating what he’d made filled one of the many small holes in his heart. He returned to the counter and waved a hand over the ingredients, making a quick plate for himself.

He sat at the table and began to eat.

“How will we get a boat?” Sofia asked. Her eyes looked tired, as if she hadn’t slept well, and he wanted to punch himself. He was a bastard. He’d always known it, but now that he was actually seeing the results of it…

He didn’t like it.

“I’ll go up, see if we can rent one,” he said. “If not, I can conjure one. Though that’s a bit more complicated. It’d take quite a bit of magic to make something that large and complex and would leave me drained. I’d need to refill my power from my aether room, and that’s not convenient.”

“All right. When do you want to leave?”

“An hour or two shall be fine.”

“I’ll go with you.” She turned back to her food. He waited for her to mention last night, but when she didn’t, his shoulders relaxed. Actions over words. He’d just have to prove to her that he valued her. That he was sorry.

But how he would do that, he had no idea.

Two hours later, he aetherwalked them to the harbor in Salem. The day was clear and bright. Even the boats were decorated for Halloween. These American mortals couldn’t get enough of the holiday. It took them an hour, but they found a Mythean captain who was willing to rent out his boat for the night.

When it came time to pay, Sofia just looked at him. He paid the exorbitant fee gladly. He wouldn’t get off so lightly as to be able to buy back her affection, but he’d have happily paid for everything anyway. Money was not an issue. It was everything else that was the problem.

“Now what?” Sofia asked. She stood on the dock, bundled in her warm coat with Kitty at her side. “We’ve got another three hours until we meet Lucy.”

“Do you want to check on your village? I can take you there.” He knew she wouldn’t waste the magical energy herself, but he had more than enough to spare.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“All right.” She held out her hand. 

Though he wanted to yank her into his arms, he just took it. Once Kitty had pressed herself up against his leg, he focused on an image of the main street of Bruxa’s Eye and aetherwalked them there.

He opened his eyes to see Sofia transform herself into her Crone form. She added a pointed witch hat for good measure. Though she looked vastly different, he still recognized her by the color of her eyes and the slant of her cheekbones.

“Let’s go. I’ll check in with my friend Aleia. She keeps an eye on things when I’m not around.”

“Aleia? The seer?” She was the most powerful in the world. Even he’d heard of her.

“One and the same.”

She led him down the boardwalk that ran along one side of the street. Kitty trotted happily at her side. The jungle was sweltering this time of day, so he stripped out of his warm jacket. He’d been here several times over the years, wanting to contact Sofia but knowing she’d just turn him away. 

It wasn’t that dissimilar to Salem Hollow. The buildings were about three stories high and had more of a Wild West jungle feel to them. Dozens of Mytheans made their way along the boardwalk, many of whom wouldn’t pass in the mortal world.

Sofia turned into a doorway nook near the apothecary and knocked on the door. He stopped behind her. A moment later, a dark-haired woman with round cheeks opened the door. The stairs behind her led up to what he presumed was her flat. 

Her face lit when she saw Sofia, and she pulled her into a hug. “You’re back! Damn it, I thought something had happened to you!”

“It did,” Sofia said. She hiked a thumb back at him. “This bastard fucked everything up. And kidnapped me.”

“Asshole.” Aleia glowered at him. “Come on in. But should he stay outside? I can put out a bowl of water for him.”

“I won’t be separated from her.” Malcolm’s voice was hard.

Sofia looked back at him. “No, it’s fine.”

“All right.” Aleia stepped back and let them in. They all went to the kitchen.

“I’m only back for a few minutes,” Sofia said. “I just wanted to know if anything weird has happened while I’ve been gone.”

“Actually, yes. A witch with immense power visited yesterday. She didn’t speak to anyone. She just walked down the main street. By the time she got to the end, she was smiling. Everyone could feel her power. The kind that makes the skin tingle, you know?”

“I know.” Sofia’s voice was dull. “Shit.”

“It was one of the High Witches, wasn’t it?” Aleia asked.

Sofia nodded. Malcolm agreed.

“She’s casing the joint,” Sofia said. “We’ve got to bring them the Salem Coven’s Grimoire or they’ll destroy Bruxa’s Eye.”

“Damn.”

“We’ll get the book, Sofia.”

She nodded. “Of course. Yes, we will.” She turned to Aleia. “For now, tell me what else is going on.” 

Malcolm waited while they caught up on what was going on in town. He’d always known she was responsible for a lot here, but he’d had no idea how much. She kept the place in law and order. The people relied on her.

Finally, she turned to him. “Let’s go. It’s nearly time to meet Lucy.”

Sofia said goodbye to Aleia, then he aetherwalked them back to the interior of the boat they’d rented.

Sofia stepped out of Malcolm’s arms, then used her wand to return to her normal appearance. Once she was dressed in her jeans and jacket, she climbed out to the cockpit. She needed some air.

Kitty meowed. She’d stay down below, or so it sounded.

All day, Malcolm had been making an effort not to be an asshole. It would take a hell of a lot more than pancakes and visits to her village—like him renouncing being a warlock, which wasn’t possible—to make her forgive him.

But every time he did something thoughtful, her heart thawed just a little. It was still a giant chunk of ice, no question—but today had been a reminder of what he’d been like when they were younger. She’d fallen in love with him because he’d been kind and honorable.

Once those qualities were gone, her love had followed. It didn’t matter how handsome he was. 

But if he made an effort to be the man she’d once known?

That would be harder to resist, even though she knew it would end in heartbreak.

She scrubbed her hands over her face and muttered, “Get it together.”

“Hello?”

Sofia’s head jerked up.

Lucy strode down the dock, her blond hair blowing behind her in the wind. A pretty blue headband covered her pointed ears and highlighted her sapphire eyes. There was confusion in her gaze, identical to last night’s. No doubt because of Malcolm’s spell.

“Hi Lucy. Thanks for coming.” She gestured the fae onboard.

“Thanks. I think.”

Malcolm came up from the cabin and Lucy’s gaze focused on him. Purpose filled her vision. “I’m here to help you find the Salem Coven’s house.” Confidence filled her voice. “Of course, I’d almost forgotten.”

Forgotten? Not quite. Try
been brainwashed.

“Thank you, Lucy.” Malcolm took the keys out of his pocket and went to the helm of the sporty white speedboat. “Shall you swim or ride along?”

“I’ll ride until we get close, then I’ll get in the water. That will help me see better. The home is hidden from sight, but when I’m in the water, my magic and my senses are so much stronger. I can usually see through most enchantments.”

“All right.” Malcolm started the boat. 

Sofia stepped forward. “I’ll drive.”

His brows rose.

“I live on the Amazon. Boats are kind of my thing.”

“Fair enough.” He handed her the keys.

She hadn’t really expected him to give her the keys. He’d been so heavy-handed that she’d just assumed he’d tell her no. Then she’d have had to kick his ass.

All right, true enough, it had been a test. A little one. But he’d passed.