Naked Submission (10 page)

She could still feel Tanner’s stiffness and he wasn’t caressing or pleasuring her.
Was he trying to hurt her?
She couldn’t believe that. She knew him better. Yet, she felt a pang of fear. It wasn’t so much what he was doing. It was more the coldness and lack of emotion that engulfed him.

“What…,” she gasped as he pressed a little deeper into her. It was more than uncomfortable and
a sob escaped, surprising even her. Tears wet her cheeks. Did it hurt that much or was she just hurting from Tanner’s emotionless fucking? It didn’t matter. Natalie became distraught.

With a feral groan
, Tanner arched his back and plunged his cock a bit deeper, seeking the raw, taboo pleasure. He was just about to plunge further, feeling her virgin asshole gradually accommodate him, when he was stunned into motionless by Natalie’s unexpected cry, “Home!” she screeched desperately. Deep sobs racked her chest and she whimpered, “Please, home…. home.”

She felt Tanner instantly withdraw and
untie the ribbon binding her wrists. She was alone on the bed. She buried her face in the sheets and cried.

This was not good. Had he been trying to scare her? Was he trying to prove something? She’d go a long way to give him pleasure
, but this wasn’t pleasure for either of them. It wasn’t even just the pain. It was his expression of rage that hurt most.

She looked around to see that Tanner
had left the room. Dressing rapidly, she fled the unwelcome scene - unable to think – unable to understand. She needed to be alone.

Natalie had moved most of her belongings to Tanner’s penthouse. They’d been seeing so much of each other it hadn’t made sense to go back to her room at Cheryl’s penthouse every night. She still kept enough of her clothes there to get by, considering it her residence.

Fleeing from Tanner’s wrath, she demanded to be chauffeured
home and Tanner did nothing to try to stop her, even as she passed by him on her way out. She noted his smugness, which seemed to convey that he was punishing her for not heeding his threats all along. He’d told her about his tendencies and held firm on his inability to be intimate with a woman. Now, she couldn’t ignore it and he seemed to take perverse delight in that fact.

Angry and heartbroken, Natalie fell onto the sofa
in Cheryl’s main room and her eyes welled with tears. She was furious with Tanner, furious with herself, just furious in general. She should have seen it coming. She had let her emotions blind her to the truth.

Tanner didn’t want her. She’d known all along she couldn’t make him happy
, yet she went on hoping. She couldn’t satisfy his needs, not his real needs. His unexpected rage toward her was the awakening she needed. She relished the pain, craved it, and needed to hurt. She’d lost the only man she’d ever love and no pain was too great to endure.

Cheryl listened as usual, feeling terrible that someone as good-hearted as Natalie was handed such a raw deal. But she knew Tanner. She’d hoped for better. But he was a wealthy bachelor used to getting his way, never having to concern himself with what anyone else needed.

She’d seen him manipulate to gain advantage in business and knew it was no different for him in relationships. Natalie was out-maneuvered. But had a feeling this wasn’t the end.

“You’re tougher than you feel right now,” she told Natalie and handed her a tissue.
“When passions run high, things are bound to explode. What did he do to you?”

Natalie sobbed through her tale of the talk with Gabriella
that led to Tanner raging, so unfairly, and using sex as a weapon. She saw now he was mad at her for not heeding his earlier warnings that he wasn’t good for her.

“Yes, I’ve heard most of that story. Gabriella likes to tell it. She feels like Tanner has stolen her wealth. Only William leaving every penny to her would have made her happy. She’s a sour woman
, who never had children of her own.

William married her to provide a mother for Tanner.
Unfortunately, Gabriella was a poor choice. She is beautiful, and was even more so, when she was younger. She used her charm on William and manipulated her way into the family. She was much younger than William and he was smitten at the time.

Natalie stopped crying, trying to take in the magnitude of the situation
. “Tanner has every right to his fortune. He sees to all the inner workings of the business, which I doubt a vindictive woman like Gabriella would be handy with.

I can deal with all that. I know Tanner must
worry he has his father’s rage in him – um, Kenneth Cassel’s, his natural father’s rage. And after tonight, I have to wonder about that too.

But Cheryl, I know Tanner. He works relentlessly to convince me that he’s a danger to me. Yet, I see a kindness and generosity in him that he refuses to admit.

I resent being used in any case. Being mad is one thing, but he cannot demean me. That’s where I draw the line.”

“Yes, Natalie. You were right to leave. Your relationship with Tanner has no hope of being a healthy, loving one if he thinks he can release his anger
, unrestrained,” Cheryl agreed.

“Well, I
won’t go back, unless he’s willing to work through this. I may die of heartbreak, but I won’t relent,” Natalie told her.

Natalie felt
a gaping emptiness inside, being apart from Tanner. Later that night, she couldn’t sleep and wrapped her arms around her chest trying to still the pain. Finally, she realized there was to be no relief, only more pain. Her feelings for Tanner ran deep. She’d find a way to fill the emptiness, to carve his love deeply within her, – that it would never go away.

Tanner suffered, hour by hour, knowing he’d pushed Natalie away from him. He’d finally saved her. She would have a normal life now, and could engage in vanilla sex with a man that could really love her. She deserved better than he could give her. It took all the inner strength he could muster to keep from calling her. His head was pounding, and he reached in his drawer, to take the tablets the doctor had provided for relief.

Natalie
proceeded with her plan the very next morning. Her feelings were still raw from the fight with Tanner. There would be no better time. Casting fear aside, she did exactly as she’d decided the night before. Now, the skin on her abdomen burned. It felt hot, like sunburn, from the tattoo freshly etched into her skin.

The tattoo artist had informed
her that it would hurt. Well, that was the price to pay and it felt good. She wanted to hurt. The etching would always be a reminder of her deep love for Tanner. If she couldn’t hold him close to her, at least, she’d have the pain.

Not wanting
to be alone, Natalie went to see Ellis hoping he’d have a few minutes for her. He beamed when he saw her, but his expression fell when he saw the devastation on her face. He hadn’t taken lunch yet, and promptly informed the staff he’d be back in an hour. Fortunately, it was a slow time of day.

He reached out for her hand as soon as they sat at the table. “What is it, Natty? What happened?”

Natalie had hoped to avoid discussing this. She had that agreement with Tanner that she was only to talk with Cheryl. Since she wasn’t with Tanner anymore, she wasn’t sure it mattered. Still, she withheld the true nature of her distress.

“Oh, I’m just sad. I had such a good time in Milan. And now I’m back. I’ll be starting my session at design school soon and I’m not sure I’m mentally prepared,” she told him.

“It’s what you’ve always wanted. Once you start, you’ll brighten up,” he tried to reassure her, but he knew there was more she wasn’t saying. Being of a kind nature, he didn’t press, but changed the subject to topics he thought would cheer her up.

Natalie told him all about Milan, especially the food. He was envious and told her he wanted to go there one day. The Italians pride themselves on their outstanding food. It would be an unforgettable experience
for any chef.

She
told him about seeing the cathedral called Duomo di Milano and shopping at The Galleria Vittorio Emanuele, the huge glass-roofed shopping arcade. She lingered over her descriptions of the shops in the fashion district. And made sure to describe Tanner’s red Ferrari, knowing how much Ellis loved sports cars.

As she talk
ed, she found her spirits lifting, but not enough to alleviate the pain of her heartache. She was grateful to Ellis for his friendship. He asked about her family and wanted to know how her mother was. She told him her concern that Emma had sounded much weaker the last time they spoke, and of her promise to visit, as soon as she got a break.

Ellis was interested in Jazzy
, and whether she still worked at the Apple Tree, where she’d waitressed for several years. There was a different look in his eye when he talked about her and Natalie wondered if he was sweet on Jazzy. But, he never called Oakland to speak with her, which he could easily have done. Was it possible that he was shy with women?

Ellis had to go back to work and Natalie was forced to face her own emotions
, unsupported. Even her call to Jazzy didn’t cheer her up. She called her sister, as she did most days, but hearing her voice and thinking of home only made her sad with homesickness, especially now that she didn’t have Tanner. Plus, her mother was too tired to come to the phone, which concerned her.

It had been less than a day
since her fight with Tanner, but it felt like an eternity. Natalie had no clue how she would survive without him. He was a part of her now and her life wasn’t complete without him. But she couldn’t have him. Such was to be her fate.

Tanner held out as long as he could, but had to come face-to-face with his behavior. He’d treated Natalie poorly, and the fact that he’d warned her in advance, was of no consolation. He was wrong, and he’d have to admit it, if he had any hope of getting her back.

He’d never h
ad to change for any woman. Nor would he have. One woman was as good as the next. He could always find one that would leap at the chance to be in his bed. He knew he caught the eye of any woman who saw him, and he had plenty of money, which only added to his allure. He had to admit, he’d become spoiled.

Natalie wasn’t just another woman. He thought of her long, shiny brown hair and her pale, flawless skin. A knife wr
enched inside him, unwanted, but completely undeniable. She was the most innocently sensual woman he’d ever met. He did things with her that he’d done with other women, but his pleasure had been deeper and fuller with Natalie. He didn’t know why and he didn’t care.

He’
d have Natalie, no matter what it took. He’d made the decision, and now, he faced the fact that he was going to have to bend and be flexible. It would no longer be a question of his needs only. He’d have to consider hers. He wasn’t sure he was up to it, but he had no choice.

He breathed a sigh of relief when Natalie took his call.
Knowing how despicably he’d behaved, he fully expected her to ignore his advances. She had plenty of reason too. But she agreed to a private dinner at his penthouse. Sara was preparing a special candlelight dinner at his request. Trust was everything in the type of sex he liked and he’d blown it. He’d not only walked on thin ice, he’d fallen right through. He didn’t expect Natalie to easily forgive him.

Later that evening,
Sara entered the dimly lit dining room followed by Natalie, who was more ravishing than ever. Tanner was glad to see she hadn’t worn a garment from her meager wardrobe, but had worn a dress Leona had chosen for her.

He recognized the Valentino
creation. A wool-spandex cocktail dress, in a pale geranium color, that looked amazing with Natalie’s dark hair. Her flawless skin looked like satin against the shimmery fabric. He knew there was a reason he relied on Leona’s taste. He’d never seen that dress design look better, on any woman.

Tanner was desperate to have her. He’d nearly lost her. Seeing
Natalie in her tantalizing dress, he wanted to rip it from her body and see her luscious, naked body. Thinking of what he had in mind for her had his cock swollen and ready, yet she’d only just arrived. He regretted the rage he’d been unable to control the last time they were together, and promised himself that he’d never again let his personal history control him. He could maintain control, and he intended to.

Natalie was quiet, waiting for Tanner to initiate the reunion. After all, he’d called her. He must have something in mind.

At Tanner’s request, Sara brought in a 2007 Pino Noir from Terlato Vineyards in Napa Valley, and expertly opened and poured. Natalie took a sip. The wine smelled like violets and was a lighter red color than most of the wine Tanner drank.

She swirled the delicious liquid and
glanced around the huge dining room, admiring the opulent décor. Tanner was always in her sight, and she tried to subdue her reaction to him, without success. She knew if he touched her, all restraint would be gone. She had every right to hold onto the anger and hurt that had crushed her so recently, and had no idea why she didn’t.

Tanner looked at her with soft
, blue eyes and apologized, “I am sorry, baby. I lost it. You didn’t deserve my anger. It’s no excuse, but I was caught off guard. I had no warning that my stepmother would visit. I should have taken the precaution to prepare you. It was bound to happen sooner or later.” He stopped, not wanting to revisit the incident. His eyes softened and he said, “I treasure you. If you can find the grace to give me another chance, I’ll behave.”