If only he
weren’t quite so unknowable, untouchable, unreachable.
He was looking
at her body, but she couldn’t gauge his reaction. He didn’t appear to be
aroused yet, though, so she assumed no accelerating had been done.
She said, “My
breasts have been really sensitive, so try not to play around with them a lot.”
“If you’d
rather I not touch them,” he replied, one of his hands caressing up her bare
side in a way that made her shiver, “then I don’t have to.”
She made a
face. “I might need a little bit to get aroused. But then I’m afraid I’ll leak.
This is going to be messy enough as it is.” Then she gasped, realizing
something she’d stupidly not even registered before. No wonder Seth had asked the
doctor specifically about the semen. “Will you use a condom?”
“I will if you
want me to.”
“But that would
defeat half the purpose.” She shifted uncomfortably. “If we’re going to even
bother with this, then we need your semen.”
“It’s up to
you,” Seth said—it seemed to be his refrain for the last two months.
Why the hell
wouldn’t he tell her what he really thought?
“I’m healthy,”
he continued, glancing away from her half-naked body. “There’s no way I would
risk the health of my daughter by exposing both you and her to any sort of
disease.”
Erin had no
fears that he was lying to her. She knew he wasn’t. And obviously there was no
fear of her getting pregnant from unprotected sex. But…
“If only you didn’t
sleep around so much.” She didn’t mean the words as an insult or reproach. More
like a plea.
Seth was silent
for a long time. He was propped up on his arm beside her on the bed, and he
wasn’t really looking at her—which Erin took to be more proof that she wasn’t
particularly appealing to him. Finally, he looked back. Met her eyes directly. “The
last person I had sex with was you.”
Erin made a
soft noise in her throat—of shock and disbelief. “What?
What
? But that
was three months ago!” She stared at him, trying to understand what he’d just
told her. “That can’t be right. The women you’ve dated.”
“I’ve dated in
the last three months. Yes. But I haven’t had sex.”
She was almost
panting with surprise and with another overwhelming feeling she couldn’t quite
process. “You didn’t sleep with
any
of them?”
He rolled his
eyes—as if she’d annoyed him. “I just told you. You were the last person I had
sex with.”
“Why?”
He shrugged
slightly. “I've had other things on my mind lately.”
It wasn’t much
of an answer, but it was more than Erin had expected.
It made her
feel a lot better—that Seth had been stressed out by the impending birth of his
daughter and hadn’t felt either interested or comfortable sleeping around. Obviously,
he wasn’t going to continue like that indefinitely, but at least it showed some
sensitivity to the effect his behavior might have on his daughter. Or else was
evidence of how invested he’d become in this new development in his life.
Either way, it
was reassuring, and it made her far more comfortable with unprotected sex with
him.
Even believing
he was free of disease, the idea of going without a condom made her feel
vulnerable, exposed.
“Erin?” Seth
prompted, drawing her out of her reflections.
“Oh. Yeah. Okay.”
Seth made no
move, even at her acquiescence. “Was that an okay, you believe me? Or an okay,
drop the subject? Or an okay, we can have sex without a condom?”
“We can have
sex without a condom.”
He didn’t
respond in words. Just reached up and brushed his palm over one of her nipples.
Erin felt the
sensations tingle out from the touch, stronger than normal because her breasts
were unusually sensitive.
When Seth
tweaked the tightening peak very gently with his fingers, Erin started to get a
little tense. She really didn’t want to start leaking. It wasn’t like she could
help it, but surely it would get in the way of any sort of erotic potential
between them.
And there
wasn’t much erotic potential to begin with.
Pushing back
her anxiety, Erin talked herself into determination. She was pregnant. It was
perfectly natural and normal. Seth probably didn’t think her body was as
awkward as she did. And if he did, well,
he
was the one who had
suggested sex to begin with.
She pushed
herself up and then rolled over onto her side, facing away from him, assuming
he’d realize she wasn’t trying to pull away.
Evidently, he
did. Because he moved over until he was behind her, pressing into her back.
He still had
his pants on, and he didn’t seem to be in a hurry. Which was a good thing,
since Erin wasn’t even close to ready yet.
Seth draped an
arm over her, stroking up from her hip to her breasts. He brushed against her
nipples again, and she felt the corresponding tug between her legs.
Her breath
hitched, and she pushed forward very slightly into his hand.
He twirled her
nipple—his touch still delicate and careful—but the stimulation was starting to
have an effect.
In more than
one way.
Erin whimpered
a little, but it wasn’t from the pleasure. She was looking down at Seth’s
fingers moving over the full swell of her breast, and so she saw a few drops of
liquid leak out.
Seth moved his
hand at her helpless noise. “Erin?”
She hoped he
wasn’t freaked out by it. It was normal. Happened with stimulation.
It just felt
like her body was out of her control.
Maybe, if she’d
been with someone else, someone who loved her and with whom she had a committed
relationship, all this wouldn’t make her feel so self-conscious.
But this was Seth,
and he could be thinking absolutely anything.
And she felt as
unsexy as she’d ever felt in her life.
“It’s fine,”
she said, her voice breaking on the last word. “You can keep going.”
He slid his
hand back up to her breasts, kept gently twirling one nipple and then the
other. She felt a very slow arousal beginning to build, but it didn’t feel
exactly normal because of all the pressure from the baby.
Her nipples
dripped a little more, but she tried to ignore it. Didn’t look down. And Seth’s
hand didn’t hesitate or pull away—so at least that was something.
He was
breathing right behind her, his breath blowing against her hair. He felt hot
and solid and strong, and she was pretty sure he smelled a lot better than she
did.
She breathed
erratically, and it was from nerves as much as anything else. But she tried to
relax. Tried to get into this.
Who wouldn’t
want to fuck Seth Thomas? Under any circumstances.
His hand had
drifted down to the top of her stomach, but just then the baby changed
positions inside her.
Pushed out
against her belly.
Seth tensed and
jerked his hand away.
Erin was almost
trembling from nerves and uncertainty. She wasn’t exactly sure why Seth had
jerked away. “She’s just moving around.”
“I know,” he
murmured, brushing her hair away from the side of her neck. “It just surprised
me.”
She didn’t know
if this was the truth or not, and when his hand returned to caressing her, it
was more tentative than ever.
At this rate,
it would take them all night for her to get aroused enough for penetration. She
racked her mind, trying to remember if she still had any lubricant in the
apartment they could use.
She was so
nervous that she jumped when Seth’s hand slipped down to touch between her
legs, over her panties.
He released a
deep breath—which sounded like frustration—and pulled his hand away.
Erin groaned
and closed her eyes. Felt like big, fat failure.
“Oh, forget
it,” she said in defeat. “I’m a mess. I’m never going to get in the mood.”
He was silent
for a moment.
“I’m sorry,”
she added. “Hopefully, since things weren’t accelerated as quickly as we’d
hoped, you won’t be too disappointed.”
“It’s fine. I
think we’re both a little on edge.”
“I’m a little
more than that.” Erin wished she could curl up into the fetal position. Settled
for drawing her knees up some, easing more of the pressure on her lower back. “I
feel like a balloon that’s blown up way too far, and that keeps stretching and
stretching, but never quite popping.”
Seth chuckled
appreciatively at the metaphor.
“Sorry,” she
said again, sighing glumly. “I’ve always thought I was quite a sexually adept
person, but I believe I’ve met my match in having sex forty-two weeks
pregnant.”
“Don’t worry
about it. As impossible as it sounds, you should just try to relax. Our
stressing about this for the last week probably hasn’t helped.”
“I know, but we
wanted for you to be here when she’s born.”
He didn’t
answer for a long time. Then said, “Since she’s clearly not in a hurry, it’s
likely we’ll still be waiting when I get back.”
“Yeah.”
She felt him
pull away from her some, leaving her bare back a little chilly. But before she
could ask for a blanket, Seth suggested, “Why don’t I just give you a backrub
instead?”
He hadn’t given
her a backrub since that first time. Occasionally, Erin really would have liked
one, but she’d felt strange about requesting it and Seth hadn’t volunteered
again until now.
“That sounds
good.”
He moved his
hands to her shoulders, and Erin closed her eyes and did her best to relax. She
wished she wasn’t practically naked, but she wasn’t going to let
self-consciousness get in the way again.
He massaged her
neck and shoulders, and Erin breathed deeply, loosening her muscles. As his
strong, skillful hands moved lower, down the length of her back, she began to
relax for real, inhaling slowly and occasionally releasing low, textured sighs
of pleasure.
She tried not
to be as vocal as she’d been last time, but she couldn’t help but groan a
little as he gently rubbed the small of her back.
As soon as she
groaned, something changed in the air between them. It wasn’t anything
definable, but she recognized it just the same.
The touch of Seth’s
hands on her lower back didn’t alter at all, but the feel of them transformed
somehow.
She could feel
him breathing heavily behind her, and the heat from his body suddenly
intensified, washing over her in waves.
Erin sucked in
a breath. And then did again as she felt his hands slip down to her ass. He
massaged the muscles there, and Erin’s relaxed body started to tense up again.
But this time
for a different reason.
She didn’t
react. Just lay on her side, breathing deeply, focusing only on the feel of his
hands on her body.
He reached
lower, to the top of her thighs, stroking more than massaging now.
Her skin was
sensitive there, and she shivered again. And then moaned as he brushed his hand
back up to her butt.
He must have
changed positions because it felt like his face moved closer to the back of her
head. Then she could feel his breath—ruffling the hair at her neck—so she knew
for sure he’d moved closer and lowered his body back down to the mattress.
His hand slid
forward, returning to the dip below her belly. Erin held her breath. If he went
lower, his fingers would find the waistband of her panties. Maybe dip inside.
But he didn’t
move his hand lower. He moved it higher. Stroked up over the huge curve of her
abdomen. Then down again. Then back up.
His fingers on
her tight skin were delicate and tantalizing. She was almost panting now, in
quick, shuddering breaths. She kept her eyes closed, trying not to think about anything
but his caresses and the warm pulsing that was building inside her.
His hand moved up
to her breasts. Then he paused, as if waiting to see if she’d object.
When she
didn’t, he started to move his hand again. He didn’t fondle her nipples, just
brushed over the soft flesh and tight peaks lightly with his palm.
The sensations
were mild—but even more effective than intense stimulation since every nerve
ending in her body was vibrantly sensitized.
She moaned a
little and shifted on the bed.
He pulled his
hand away from her breasts. Caressed her bare arm, sliding the tips of his
fingers down to stroke her hand. Tangled his fingers with hers.
She was
whimpering now—softly and involuntarily.
Erin knew that Seth
was aroused too. His breathing had accelerated into hot, little pants at her
neck. His chest pressed into her back, and his body felt tense and coiled
behind her.
Keeping her
eyes closed, she rocked her hips back slightly, until her ass connected with
his groin.
He was hard. She
could feel the tight bulge in his pants. He grunted and gave a little push into
her bottom in return.
“Erin?” he asked
thickly.
“Yeah.” She
reached her arm behind her, pushing his pelvis into her more firmly, something
deeply reassuring about the feel of his arousal against her. “Let’s try it
now.”
He didn’t speak
any further, but she felt him pull away enough to unfasten his trousers and
free his cock.
Then he moved
back, spooning her again. Her knees were still bent, and she didn’t straighten
her legs.
Seth pushed off
her dress, which had been bunched up around her pelvis, and then his hands
moved to her panties. He slid them down over her hips and then all the way down
her legs.
She was very
wet, and she hoped it mostly looked normal. Seth didn’t waste any time checking
it out. Once he’d dipped a finger in to make sure she was ready, he bent his
knees so they were lined up with hers.
She could feel
his hard cock, nudging between her legs.