Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang (25 page)

Guiltily I thought, Help! If Oscar’s injured we won’t be able to finish this week and then it will be even later and we will all miss our holidays and the studio will be so cross and Eric will fire us and –

And then I heard a tiny, stifled giggle. It was Rosie (Celia), who had caught Gaia’s eye. And then I thought, Hang on . . .

And I looked at Oscar’s bandage and it did seem to have red crayon on it, as though someone had drawn something to look like blood, and now I came to think of it, he did look quite healthy and Lizzie did seem too calm for a mother with a badly injured son and then I realised.

It was an elaborate and brilliantly executed trick! I had fallen for it hook, line and sinker. I’d even felt quite faint. I nearly bit everyone’s ankles to punish them and ran back to the studio with my tail between my legs. I really am the most gullible person on the planet and now they all KNOW, and so do you, for that matter . . .

Got into the full Nanny make-up and then wasn’t used at all. Lil and Rosie did a lovely song for Maggie at the end of the day and Lil wept! It was all very moving and we sent Maggie off with huge cheers and tight hugs, all so grateful for her incredibly hard work and wonderful performance. It will feel very strange without our Mrs Green . . .

The Story 26

Up on the barley-rick, the children were having the time of their lives, sliding down it and then going up the ladder and sliding down again. Everyone had a go, even Mr Spolding, who enjoyed it more than anyone, I think. Mrs Green watched the gaiety with a deep sense of joy that not even the absence of Mr Green could quell.
How proud he’ll be
, she kept thinking and every time she had the thought, she smiled and smiled.

Megsie was helping Celia up the ladder for the eighty-fifth time when she noticed something pinned on to the front of Celia’s blouse (well it was Megsie’s blouse, if you recall, but they both thought of it as Celia’s now). It was one of Nanny McPhee’s medals.

‘Oh!’ said Celia, with great surprise. Then, looking up, she saw that Megsie had one too.

‘What’s that one? I think mine’s the one for Kindness!’

‘This is Resolve,’ said Megsie wonderingly.

They shouted at the others and sure enough, Norman had the medal for Imagination, Cyril the one for Bravery, Vincent the one for Enthusiasm and Mrs Green the one for Leaps of Faith.

‘Where’s Basketwork?’ said Megsie, with interest.

‘There!’ said Mrs Green, pointing to Mr Edelweiss. On his feathery chest lay the last medal. He hopped up and down with excitement and pride.

‘Can he do basketwork?’ whispered Celia to Megsie, rather discreetly in case Mr Edelweiss heard and thought she didn’t think he deserved a medal.

‘I don’t know,’ said Megsie. ‘Maybe she wants him to take it up? She’s always said he needs a hobby.’

‘That must be it,’ said Celia.

‘Why has she given us her medals?’ said Vincent.

‘Let’s ask her!’ said Celia.

They all looked about, but Nanny McPhee was nowhere to be seen.

‘Nanny McPhee!’ they all called out. ‘Nanny McPhee!’

Celia was on top of the rick and suddenly caught sight of a little black figure right at the edge of the field.

‘There she is!’ she cried.

‘Where’s she going?’

Then a gentle voice came from behind the rick. Mrs Docherty appeared, shading her eyes with her hand. She’d been watching Nanny McPhee for some time.

‘She’s leaving you,’ she said.

‘WHAT?’ said Cyril.

‘Why?’ said Megsie.

‘Because you don’t need her any more,’ she said.

‘Oh, don’t be ridiculous!’ said Mrs Green.

‘Oh dear,’ said Mrs Docherty, dropping her arm and looking at the children with a rather sad expression. ‘You’ve forgotten how she works, haven’t you?’

Something dim and distant stirred in the children’s memories. Something about wanting and needing but they couldn’t remember! All they could recall was how horrible they’d been then, to her and to each other, which made them feel like hugging each other and Nanny McPhee and saying they were sorry all over again.

‘How? How does she work?’ said Celia worriedly.

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Mrs Docherty looked at them all with enormous understanding. ‘When you need her but do not want her, then she must stay. When you want her but no longer need her, then she has to go.’

The children and Mrs Green stared at Mrs Docherty, aghast.

‘That’s not fair!’ said Norman.

‘We didn’t mean to want her!’ cried Vincent.

‘What do you
mean
, we don’t need her?’ said Mrs Green, looking at Mrs Docherty as if she were quite mad.

‘Come on!’ yelled Cyril. ‘Let’s head her off! We can explain! We can persuade her to stay!!’

Mrs Green led the charge as they all jumped off the barley-rick and ran into the field after the little black figure.

Mrs Docherty watched them, smilingly. ‘Oh, Nanny McPhee doesn’t like goodbyes,’ she said to Mr Spolding. ‘I remember from when
I
was little.’

Mr Spolding and Mrs Docherty smiled at each other and sat down to look at the beautiful view together.

The Diary 27

Last day for Rhys today, and for Katy (Brand, playing Miss Turvey) and Sinead (Matthews, playing Miss Topsey). We’re having great fun in the kitchen with stuffed owls and ladles. The wind machine is in as well!

My trailer is stuffed full of farewell gifts to hand out. I feel weirder and weirder. It’s the wrap party tomorrow night. Good grief! Our beloved Runner, Darren, is leaving us today. We are all feeling bereft. He’s the best Runner I’ve ever come across. Can’t bear to lose him.

Later: Fantastic stuff today! We just did the final shot of Rhys flying in the wind, attached to the iron bar in the kitchen, and it looked amazing. Katy and Sinead are also without peer as Topsey and Turvey. I’ve had a heavenly day watching these very clever actors being so witty and inventive. Like a major Christmas present you’ve always wanted and it turns out to be the right size and colour and everything.

The Story 27

Mrs Green, who had longer legs than the children, was quite far ahead, but no matter how fast she made her legs go she simply couldn’t catch up with Nanny McPhee. It was very peculiar because Nanny McPhee looked as if she was going quite slowly, gliding, really, up the lane, and by rights Mrs Green should have reached her a long time ago.

‘
They
might not need you,’ panted Mrs Green, as loudly as she could without passing out, ‘but
I
do! I need you desperately!! Come back!!!’

Behind her, the children, legs aching with the effort but all determined to bring back Nanny McPhee, started to catch up. Nanny McPhee turned the corner. Mrs Green made a huge effort and sprinted the last few yards to follow her round. The children ran as fast as they could, all yelling, ‘Keep up, Mum! . . . Keep up, Aunt Isabel!!’

As they too finally rounded the corner, they practically ran into Mrs Green’s back. She’d stopped and was staring up the hill with her hand shielding her eyes.

‘Come on, Mum, else we’ll lose her!’ said Norman, pulling at her sleeve.

‘Mum, come on, we need her!’ said Vinnie.

‘No, we don’t,’ said Mrs Green, still looking and looking.

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All the children turned to follow her gaze. At the top of the hill, they could see Nanny McPhee sharply silhouetted against the bright sky, so sharply they could even see the feathers in her hat dancing in the breeze. She was bowing to someone – it was difficult to see, the light was so bright up there. A man. A man with – what was it? His arm was in a sling. As he turned from Nanny McPhee towards them, they could see the white of the bandage quite clearly. Then their eyes got used to the sun and they saw the colour of his clothes. Khaki. A uniform.

‘DAD!!’ shouted Vincent.

The man looked up. His good arm shot into the air and a great cry of happiness burst out of him. The children ran and ran, shouting and cheering until they all met in a tumble of arms and legs and hugs and kisses in the grass. Cyril and Celia were close behind and they were hugged and kissed too. Mrs Green was the last to reach them all. That was the biggest hug and kiss of them all.

At the very top of the hill, unnoticed, stood Nanny McPhee.

She watched the scene and smiled the smiliest smile you could ever wish to see.

‘Lesson Five – to have faith – is complete,’ she said.

There was a small, discreet cough from a nearby branch. Nanny McPhee turned to see Mr Edelweiss looking at her. If he’d had eyebrows, one of them would have been raised at her.

Nanny McPhee thought for a moment. ‘I see your point,’ she said finally.

Mr Edelweiss let out a squawk of joy.

‘Hop on, then,’ said Nanny McPhee, patting her shoulder, and on Mr Edelweiss hopped.

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If one was to take a bet on who ends up happiest in this story, I’ll let you in on a secret. My money’s on the jackdaw.

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THE END

The Diary 28

Last day. Argh! So exhausted I can barely manage to finish a sentence. Have got through THREE noses today, the really big ones. The first one melted, the second one just wouldn’t stay on no matter what Paula did. Peter King came in and suggested stapling it. We threw him out. Then all the children came in and sang me a song to say goodbye. I cried, of course, and that did it for the last nose. We put it into the bowl that Paula keeps in the fridge, which is full of old noses and looks like the ingredients for some sort of repellent fondue.

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