Read Nanny McPhee Returns Online
Authors: Emma Thompson
Nanny McPhee Returns (20 page)
Up on the barley-rick, the children were having the time of their lives, sliding down it and then going up the ladder and sliding down again. Everyone had a go, even Mr Spolding, who enjoyed it more than anyone, I think. Mrs Green watched the gaiety with a deep sense of joy that not even the absence of Mr Green could quell.
How proud he’ll be
, she kept thinking and every time she had the thought, she smiled and smiled.
Megsie was helping Celia up the ladder for the eighty-fifth time when she noticed something pinned on to the front of Celia’s blouse (well it was Megsie’s blouse, if you recall, but they both thought of it as Celia’s now). It was one of Nanny McPhee’s medals.
‘Oh!’ said Celia, with great surprise. Then, looking up, she saw that Megsie had one too.
‘What’s that one? I think mine’s the one for Kindness!’
‘This is Resolve,’ said Megsie wonderingly.
They shouted at the others and sure enough, Norman had the medal for Imagination, Cyril the one for Bravery, Vincent the one for Enthusiasm and Mrs Green the one for Leaps of Faith.
‘Where’s Basketwork?’ said Megsie, with interest.
‘There!’ said Mrs Green, pointing to Mr Edelweiss. On his feathery chest lay the last medal. He hopped up and down with excitement and pride.
‘Can he do basketwork?’ whispered Celia to Megsie, rather discreetly in case Mr Edelweiss heard and thought she didn’t think he deserved a medal.
‘I don’t know,’ said Megsie. ‘Maybe she wants him to take it up? She’s always said he needs a hobby.’
‘That must be it,’ said Celia.
‘Why has she given us her medals?’ said Vincent.
‘Let’s ask her!’ said Celia.
They all looked about, but Nanny McPhee was nowhere to be seen.
‘Nanny McPhee!’ they all called out. ‘Nanny McPhee!’
Celia was on top of the rick and suddenly caught sight of a little black figure right at the edge of the field.
‘There she is!’ she cried.
‘Where’s she going?’
Then a gentle voice came from behind the rick. Mrs Docherty appeared, shading her eyes with her hand. She’d been watching Nanny McPhee for some time.
‘She’s leaving you,’ she said.
‘WHAT?’ said Cyril.
‘Why?’ said Megsie.
‘Because you don’t need her any more,’ she said.
‘Oh, don’t be ridiculous!’ said Mrs Green.
‘Oh dear,’ said Mrs Docherty, dropping her arm and looking at the children with a rather sad expression. ‘You’ve forgotten how she works, haven’t you?’
Something dim and distant stirred in the children’s memories. Something about wanting and needing but they couldn’t remember! All they could recall was how horrible they’d been then, to her and to each other, which made them feel like hugging each other and Nanny McPhee and saying they were sorry all over again.
‘How? How does she work?’ said Celia worriedly.
Mrs Docherty looked at them all with enormous understanding. ‘When you need her but do not want her, then she must stay. When you want her but no longer need her, then she has to go.’
The children and Mrs Green stared at Mrs Docherty, aghast.
‘That’s not fair!’ said Norman.
‘We didn’t mean to want her!’ cried Vincent.
‘What do you
mean
, we don’t need her?’ said Mrs Green, looking at Mrs Docherty as if she were quite mad.
‘Come on!’ yelled Cyril. ‘Let’s head her off! We can explain! We can persuade her to stay!!’
Mrs Green led the charge as they all jumped off the barley-rick and ran into the field after the little black figure.
Mrs Docherty watched them, smilingly. ‘Oh, Nanny McPhee doesn’t like goodbyes,’ she said to Mr Spolding. ‘I remember from when
I
was little.’
Mr Spolding and Mrs Docherty smiled at each other and sat down to look at the beautiful view together.
Last day for Rhys today, and for Katy (Brand, playing Miss Turvey) and Sinead (Matthews, playing Miss Topsey). We’re having great fun in the kitchen with stuffed owls and ladles. The wind machine is in as well!
My trailer is stuffed full of farewell gifts to hand out. I feel weirder and weirder. It’s the wrap party tomorrow night. Good grief! Our beloved Runner, Darren, is leaving us today. We are all feeling bereft. He’s the best Runner I’ve ever come across. Can’t bear to lose him.
Later: Fantastic stuff today! We just did the final shot of Rhys flying in the wind, attached to the iron bar in the kitchen, and it looked amazing. Katy and Sinead are also without peer as Topsey and Turvey. I’ve had a heavenly day watching these very clever actors being so witty and inventive. Like a major Christmas present you’ve always wanted and it turns out to be the right size and colour and everything.
Mrs Green, who had longer legs than the children, was quite far ahead, but no matter how fast she made her legs go she simply couldn’t catch up with Nanny McPhee. It was very peculiar because Nanny McPhee looked as if she was going quite slowly, gliding, really, up the lane, and by rights Mrs Green should have reached her a long time ago.
‘
They
might not need you,’ panted Mrs Green, as loudly as she could without passing out, ‘but
I
do! I need you desperately!! Come back!!!’
Behind her, the children, legs aching with the effort but all determined to bring back Nanny McPhee, started to catch up. Nanny McPhee turned the corner. Mrs Green made a huge effort and sprinted the last few yards to follow her round. The children ran as fast as they could, all yelling, ‘Keep up, Mum! . . . Keep up, Aunt Isabel!!’
As they too finally rounded the corner, they practically ran into Mrs Green’s back. She’d stopped and was staring up the hill with her hand shielding her eyes.
‘Come on, Mum, else we’ll lose her!’ said Norman, pulling at her sleeve.
‘Mum, come on, we need her!’ said Vinnie.
‘No, we don’t,’ said Mrs Green, still looking and looking.
All the children turned to follow her gaze. At the top of the hill, they could see Nanny McPhee sharply silhouetted against the bright sky, so sharply they could even see the feathers in her hat dancing in the breeze. She was bowing to someone – it was difficult to see, the light was so bright up there. A man. A man with – what was it? His arm was in a sling. As he turned from Nanny McPhee towards them, they could see the white of the bandage quite clearly. Then their eyes got used to the sun and they saw the colour of his clothes. Khaki. A uniform.
‘DAD!!’ shouted Vincent.
The man looked up. His good arm shot into the air and a great cry of happiness burst out of him. The children ran and ran, shouting and cheering until they all met in a tumble of arms and legs and hugs and kisses in the grass. Cyril and Celia were close behind and they were hugged and kissed too. Mrs Green was the last to reach them all. That was the biggest hug and kiss of them all.
At the very top of the hill, unnoticed, stood Nanny McPhee.
She watched the scene and smiled the smiliest smile you could ever wish to see.
‘Lesson Five – to have faith – is complete,’ she said.
There was a small, discreet cough from a nearby branch. Nanny McPhee turned to see Mr Edelweiss looking at her. If he’d had eyebrows, one of them would have been raised at her.
Nanny McPhee thought for a moment. ‘I see your point,’ she said finally.
Mr Edelweiss let out a squawk of joy.
‘Hop on, then,’ said Nanny McPhee, patting her shoulder, and on Mr Edelweiss hopped.
If one was to take a bet on who ends up happiest in this story, I’ll let you in on a secret. My money’s on the jackdaw.
THE END
Last day. Argh! So exhausted I can barely manage to finish a sentence. Have got through THREE noses today, the really big ones. The first one melted, the second one just wouldn’t stay on no matter what Paula did. Peter King came in and suggested stapling it. We threw him out. Then all the children came in and sang me a song to say goodbye. I cried, of course, and that did it for the last nose. We put it into the bowl that Paula keeps in the fridge, which is full of old noses and looks like the ingredients for some sort of repellent fondue.
I
suppose that’s it, then.
I do feel peculiar.
But happy.
THE END (AGAIN)
1. The Director:
The director is the person ultimately responsible for the film and every aspect of the film. They are the Big Boss and absolutely everyone is trained to serve their vision. This does not mean you can’t have ideas of your own, however.
Our director is Susanna White, and she is very good at collaborating with people. The director designs the shapes of the shots and makes suggestions to the actors – well, to everyone really – about what will make the scene work. In a sense, the director carries the whole film about with them all the time, in their head. So that if someone has a specific question about any part of it, the director will be able to answer it. So it is pretty much the most important job and we are very lucky to have Susanna who has directed lots and lots of wonderful things and really knows her onions.
2. The Designer:
He or she is responsible for the entire look of the film – the sets and the locations and everything.
3. The Producer:
There are lots of different kinds of producers on a film, as you will see, and Lindsay Doran is the main one. This is because she started to work on the film five years ago, which is when I started to write the script. She edits what I write and sends me about a million pages of notes and then I write it all again. We do this A LOT – it takes years – and then when the script is finally ready, she does the next bit, which is finding the money to make it. Then she and whoever she has found to provide the money choose a director and then things start hotting up.
During the shoot Lindsay is there all day, every day, to solve any problem that arises with the script or actors or – well, anything really.
She
says that she’s there purely to help everyone else do their job. That’s how she describes producing. It’s very hard work and she doesn’t get much sleep and she is the best producer I have ever known.
4. The Sound Department:
Much as you would expect, this department is responsible for recording all the sounds during the shoot (not the music – that comes later, in the edit).
Simon Hayes is our Head of Sound. He sits at his recording machine and listens like a hawk to everything that comes through the microphones. If there is a noise that interferes with the track, like a plane or some such, he will ask for filming to be stopped until it is quiet. A bad soundtrack means that all the actors have to go into a recording studio after filming is finished and record their voices again. This is called Additional Dialogue Recording (ADR) and it not very popular with most actors because you have to synchronise your lips with the lips on the screen and that’s not easy. But Simon and his team are so good that we probably won’t have to do any ADR.
5. The Director of Photography (DP):
This is the person who is responsible for how the film looks – he or she decides where to put all the lights, what kind of lights they should be, where the camera will work best (although lots of people join in with this kind of decision, especially the director) and what will look good in the frame, which is the bit the camera is pointed at.
Mike Eley is our DP – he is very gentle and peers constantly around, almost like a bird of prey, checking every corner of his frame, checking the level of light, checking the sky if we’re outside – he knows everything about the film itself, I mean the black shiny stuff that records the pictures, and he knows everything about the camera and exactly what levels all its little controls should be at. Like the director and the producer, he has to be at work all the time, watching, watching, watching.
6. Other Important Producers:
These are the people who have given us the money. It’s their job to make sure we a) don’t spend more than we have, and b) make a good enough film to see a profit on the money they have given us, and c) support everyone in general.
Eric Fellner and Debra Hayward are our Other Important Producers and they are terrific. They do not have to be there every day, but you can ring them if you have a problem. They are a bit like the headmaster or headmistress who don’t necessarily teach you but oversee everyone who does. I hope that makes sense. There are executive producers too and associate producers and sometimes co-producers but they don’t often visit the set and you don’t really need to know about them.
7. Set-up:
This means the shot you are working on. One set-up may need many takes. A take is just a go at the shot.
8. The Camera Loader:
This is the person responsible for putting film away in the right order and bringing new film to the camera and making sure the film is properly protected. It is a very important job. Both our camera loaders, Emma Edwards and Erin Stevens, are trusted implicitly by the camera team to get it right.
9. The Focus-Puller:
This person must stand by the camera at all times and make sure the film is in focus, i.e. not blurry. You can imagine how important that is. Sometimes they move a little wheel attached to the camera. Sometimes, when the camera is moving about a lot, they move the wheel using a remote control. Our focus-pullers, Russ Ferguson and Matt Poynter, are very experienced, and during the whole four-month shoot there were only one or two moments they found tricky, which is extremely impressive.
10. Animal Trainers and Handlers:
These are the people who begin their work months before the film starts shooting – training birds and animals to be ready for their close-ups.
Gary Mui and Guillaume Grange work at Leavesden Studios, which is where they shoot all the Harry Potter films. They bring up birds and animals, sometimes rescue birds, and look after them and work with them. They are passionately devoted to their animals and very proud when things go well – rightly so, because it is extremely difficult to train a bird or animal to do what it is told.
11. The First Assistant Director:
Martin Harrison, our 1st AD, must tell everyone what to do all the time. It’s not because he’s bossy – it’s his job. He takes his orders only from the director and everyone else takes their orders from him. He is Scottish and very smiley, so everyone is very happy to do what they’re told.
12. The Camera Operator:
Phil Sindall is our camera operator on camera A, and Ian Adrian our camera operator on camera B. They look down the eyepiece and actually see what is being filmed at first hand. They are the only people who see this, which makes it vital they understand everything about the scene, the lighting, the frame, the focus and the story.
13. The Dolly:
A metal contraption with wheels that you can sit the camera and the operator on to move it about. The people who work the dollies and move the camera are called grips. I suppose it’s because they do a lot of gripping.
14. The Second Assistant Director:
The 2nd AD has to listen to the 1st AD and help to carry out his or her instructions. They are in constant communication not only with the 1st but also the 3rd AD and also all the Runners (see below). They must have eyes in the back of their head and know what is going on at all times. Heidi Gower is our Second and I don’t think I’ve ever seen her sitting down.
15. The Dresser:
This is the person who looks after everything to do with your costume and makes sure it is all ready for you and helps you to put it on in case there’s a zip at the back, like there is in my fat-suit. Needless to say they have to see you with no clothes on and are as a consequence always very discreet, kind people who are good at hiding a shocked expression.
16. A Two-Shot:
Oddly enough, this describes any shot that has two people in it. Or two piglets even.
17. Pick Up:
This is when we haven’t quite managed to finish a scene and we need a few more shots to complete it. These shots are called pick-ups.
18. Singles:
A shot of one person. Or one piglet.
19. Props Artists:
Our props department is run by Peter Hallam. He and his team must find every single thing that is used by the actors and place it on set. Props is short for properties. It is one of my favourite departments because you can go in and asked for a stuffed owl and no one shrieks ‘What??’ They just ask you what species.
The props people are on set all the time and they make sure all the right props are there in the right place and the right location. If, for instance, your prop happens to be a hot cup of tea or a squealing piglet, it is up to the props people to make sure your tea is hot and your piglet is squealing. They are wonderful people.
20. Foam Piglets:
We had some incredibly realistic stand-in piglets that had to be used in some scenes when the piglets were asleep or under the Scratch-O-Matic. They were very expensive and kept under lock and key by props. We also had white foam stand-ins, which we used for underwater work and throwing about and so forth. The very realistic ones were made of silicone and had thousands of hairs individually punched into their pink skin.
21. Greg:
My husband. He is very good at this job and brings me tea every morning and makes comforting noises like ‘Not long now’ and ‘What do you want for dinner?’ Also he is not put off by my warts.
22. The Call-Sheet:
A piece of paper issued by the producer and ADs every night, which has everything every department needs to know about the next day’s filming on it: what we’re doing, where we’re doing it, who’s in the scene, how many cameras, all that stuff. Everyone gets a call-sheet at the end of each day.
23. The Line Producer:
Another essential producer, who starts work on the actual filming process almost before anyone, doing the budget and seeing how much it’s all going to cost and what will be spent on what and then doing a schedule and working out what will be shot when and where. The line producer knows everything about the nuts and bolts of the production. If you need to hire a baby elephant, he’s the one who has to go off to Whipsnade, for instance.
24. The Can:
This is the camera, really. Well, sort of. It is short for canister, I imagine – the canister in which the film sits, which is also called a mag. But no one ever says, ‘It’s in the mag.’ They only say, ‘It’s in the can,’ which means that whatever it is has been successfully filmed.
25. The Costume Department:
As the name suggests, this refers to the people responsible for all the costumes. Sometimes they buy them – for instance, Asa and Oscar are wearing old Aertex shirts which will probably have been bought from a costumes supplier. But my costume and Maggie Gyllenhaal’s and Rhys Ifans’s have all had to be made from scratch. A lot of sewing goes on, and a lot of washing and ironing. I’ve got five versions of my costume, because they get smaller as Nanny McPhee gets smaller. Rosie has about ten versions of the costume she gets muddy in – some clean, some very muddy, some torn – all according to what bit of the film we’re shooting. It’s all a great deal more complicated than it looks.
26. The Script Supervisor:
Generally a woman, although I have worked with male script supervisors, this person is responsible for continuity. Continuity means things like when you’re drinking a glass of water in a scene, she has to make sure it’s always in the right hand and the right place and that the water is at the exact right level for whatever part of the scene you’re shooting. If you’re in a scene where you’re sitting with your legs crossed and you take a break to go for a wee or something, and then you come back and cross your legs the other way by mistake, the continuity person will shout, ‘Cross your legs the other way!’ Irene never misses a trick.
27. The Video Assist:
This is a team of two who tape the proceedings and are able to play whatever has just been shot back to the director. They follow the monitors about with a wee machine – our chief of video is Nick Kenealy and his assistant is my son Tindy, who is always on set garlanded with vast quantities of cabling that he has to keep out of everyone’s way.
28. The Sparks:
These are the gents who provide the lights and generators. I say gents because I have never in my life come across a female spark. Don’t ask me why – I’m as fascinated by light bulbs as the next woman. Paul Murphy is our chief of sparks (they call him the head of department, also the gaffer, see below) and he works very hard – he and his team lug the lamps about and take their instructions from the director of photography, who is their big boss.
If we’re outside and it’s windy, you will always see the sparks hanging on to the big lights to stop them from falling over and braining someone. They understand about plugs and electricity and they keep the set safe.