A knot started in her throat and burned its way to her heart.
“I’ll always care about you,” Bryan said.
The words fell, as empty as a discarded soda bottle on a deserted beach.
Enough
.
The adrenaline coursing through her veins drained suddenly, leaving her once again weak and shaky. She couldn’t talk to him anymore. She wasn’t going to break down on the phone, wasn’t going to beg him to come back. It wouldn’t accomplish a thing anyway. She’d heard this tone of Bryan’s voice before. He was a man who knew what he wanted. And what he didn’t want.
And he didn’t want Kate. She suddenly knew that fact as surely as she knew tomorrow would be more impossible to face than today.
She cleared her throat. “I have to go.”
“Kate, tell me what I can do. My family will pitch in too. I want to help fix things.”
She wanted to tell him there was no fixing this. There was no fixing her heart or the impending collision of her life and her career. Instead, numb, she closed the phone, staring straight ahead at the holes on the pegboard until they blended together in a blurry haze.
He was leaving her. The man she loved was walking away. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. Not to her. She’d been so careful, and for what? A hollow spot opened up in her stomach, wide and gaping.
Instead of the headlines reading “Marriage Expert Finds Her Mr. Right,” they would read “Marriage Expert Jilted at the Altar.”
Kate had never considered herself prideful, but the thought of facing the next twenty-four hours made cyanide seem reasonable. How could this be happening? To her, of all people? She’d written a book on the subject of finding the right mate and had managed to find the wrong one instead. By tomorrow the whole world would know.
Impulsivity is the enemy.
Intelligent relationships require
careful, thoughtful planning.
—Excerpt from
Finding Mr. Right-for-You
by Dr. Kate
Lucas watched Kate snap her phone shut. Maybe he should’ve left when he heard the gravity in her voice, but he couldn’t. Like a pedestrian gawking at a car accident, he’d watched Kate receive the news. When he realized what Bryan was saying, he’d wanted to hunt the man down and pummel him until he felt the same pain as Kate. Instead he’d ushered Kate to the chair, wishing he could pull her into his arms and tell her it was going to be okay.
But that was the last thing she wanted.
Now she faced the wall, unmoving. Her glossy black hair hung straight, almost to her wilted shoulders. He’d never seen her so motionless. She was always on the go, steady as a clock; he’d been mesmerized by that the first time they’d met. Now, her stillness seemed unnatural.
He took a step toward her. “Kate?”
She must have forgotten about him, because she jumped slightly, then ran her hand across her face before turning partway. Her hair, always tucked behind her ears, had come loose. Her eyes only made it to his knees.
“Lucas.” She studied the floor as if the paint and varnish stains were one of those abstract paintings to be interpreted. “I guess you heard.”
Her voice was small. But he watched her straighten her back and turn to look fully at him. A scared little girl in a woman’s body. Her eyes went past him to the gazebo for a second before flittering back.
“I . . . I guess I won’t be needing that. I’ll pay you for it, though. It’s really beautiful.” Her voice choked on the last word.
“I’m not worried about that.”
He half expected her to cave in then, but instead she shot to her feet and began to pace, her heels clicking across the floor. “I have to think,” she muttered. “I have to think.”
Ka-clack
,
ka-clack
,
ka-clack
, spin.
Ka-clack
,
ka-clack
,
ka-clack
, spin.
Lucas wasn’t sure what she meant. Was she trying to figure out how to win Bryan back? Or giving up—making a mental list of everyone to be notified. He couldn’t imagine the mess.
But if anyone could wrap her hands around the task, Kate could. He’d watched her patch up marriages that were dangling by a thread, juggle her syndicated column with her counseling service, and write a book in her spare time. Kate was an incredible woman. Bryan was an idiot if he couldn’t see what he had.
Kate jerked to a stop and pressed her fingertips to her forehead. “He left me. I have no groom. The newspapers, the media, my publisher. My career. It’s over.”
She looked fragile and out of place in his expansive and dusty workshop, her short pants and white blouse immaculate, her black belt encircling her tiny waist. But then Kate always looked as if she’d been snapped straight from an ironing board.
“I thought he loved me,” she whispered, her words wavering.
Lucas took a step toward her, then stopped, anchoring his hands in his pockets. “It’s going to be okay.” It felt lame but it was what he always told his baby sister, and it made Jamie feel better. Kate, however, was not Jamie.
“It is not going to be okay.” She leveled a look at him. “I’ve been dumped five hours before my wedding. Everything is riding on this wedding, both personally and professionally. My Mr. Right left me. Do you not understand the irony?”
Maybe he wasn’t your Mr. Right.
It was on the tip of his tongue, but he caught it in time. He watched Kate’s hand tremble against the side of her face. He hadn’t known Kate was capable of trembling.
“I’m supposed to be an expert. Not just in relationships, but in finding the right mate. People write me for advice and trust me to give them answers. I wrote a book to help people make good matches, and I can’t even make one myself.” She looked away and dragged in a shaky breath. “I’m a failure.”
“You’re not a failure. Your fiancé made an idiot decision; that’s not your fault.”
The metal chair creaked as she sank into it, the sound echoing in the quietness of the room. “That’s not how everyone’s going to see it.”
He reckoned she might be right about that. People could be judgmental, especially if the media put a nasty spin on it.
“I’ve got to do something,” she mumbled through her fingers. “How can I fix this?”
Lucas didn’t think it was possible. She had guests, a slew of media, and all the wedding fixings. Everything but the groom, and that was most important.
Everything but the groom.
The words ricocheted around his head until, one by one, they fell into place like tiles in a Scrabble game.
Everything . . . but . . . the groom . . .
He rubbed the back of his neck, walking toward his work station. It was crazy. Crazier than crazy. It was insane. She’d laugh if he said it out loud. That thought tightened his gut.
Her phone clattered, vibrating on the metal desk. He watched it do the jitterbug.
“I can’t answer,” she said. “I can’t deal with it right now. I don’t know what to say.” She crossed her arms, and her shoulders scrunched up as though she wished she could cover her ears with them.
Together they watched the phone.
Ring-bzzzzzzzz
. . .
Ring-bzzzzzzz
. . . When the noise stopped, there was a palpable relief.
Kate drummed her fingers on her lips, quickly at first, then slowing. Her lips loosened, turned down. Her stubborn chin softened. “It’s hopeless.”
The phone rang again, chittering across the desktop. Kate glared at it, looking as though she might throw it across the room.
“I’ll answer.” He reached for it.
Kate stopped him with a hand on his arm. Her grip was surprisingly strong. “What’ll you say?”
He met her gaze: wide, olive-brown eyes too vulnerable for words. “I’ll just take a message.”
After a moment, she released his arm, and he picked up the phone, snapping it open.
“Hello?”
A pause. “Is Kate there?” A woman’s voice, out of breath.
“She can’t come to the phone right now. Can I take a message?”
“Is this Bryan? Don’t tell me she’s letting you see her before the wedding.”
“No. This is a—a friend.” That was stretching it. He turned and leaned against the desk.
“Okay, well, tell her to call Pam. No, wait, she won’t be able to reach me for a while. Tell her I have good news. This is really important, so be sure and tell her right away. The
Dr. Phil
show called, and they want her to make a guest appearance next month.”
Great. Lucas met Kate’s eyes, glanced away. Just what she needed.
“Did you get that?” Pam asked.
“Got it. I’ll let her know.” He closed the phone and set it on the desk. He could feel Kate watching him. Maybe he didn’t have to tell her just now.
“Who was it?” Was that hope lilting her voice? Did she think Bryan had changed his mind?
“It was Pam.”
She stared at her manicured fingers, clenched in her lap. “Oh.”
She’d actually gotten on the
Dr. Phil
show. He’d known her popularity had grown nationwide with the column and book and all. But
Dr. Phil
. That was a whole new ball game.
“What did she want?”
Her knee brushed his leg as she shifted. He crossed his feet at the ankles and gripped the ledge of the desk. “It’s nothing that can’t wait. She wants you to call her back.”
Her upturned face and searching eyes melted him. Have mercy, she was beautiful. He looked away.
“She said something, didn’t she? Something you don’t want me to know.”
Restless energy pushed him away from the desk. He should’ve known she wouldn’t let it go. He shouldn’t have answered the phone. Her type A personality required her to know, even when she already had more than she could handle.
“Excuse me, but my life is hanging in the balance right now. Could you please just spit it out?”
Kate had straightened in the chair, her hand grasping the rounded edge of the back. Her left hand. Lucas watched the diamond engagement ring twinkle under the work lights. “She just wanted to let you know about an interview she set up, is all. You can call her later when you—”
“Who’s it with?” Her tone demanded an answer.
He exhaled deeply. She was like a ravenous dog with his last meaty bone.
“I know it must be big. She wouldn’t have called me today if it wasn’t. And stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you feel sorry for me. Who’s it with?”
Fine, Kate, fine. You win
. “Dr. Phil.”
He watched her mouth slacken, watched her blink and swallow, watched her eyes change, deaden. He hated it. Hated he’d had any part in bringing that look to her face.
She was still again, and he hated that too. Maybe it wasn’t too late to chase Bryan down and knock him flat on his face. He should be here picking up the pieces, making things right. But he wasn’t. Lucas was there, and what could he do?
Everything but the groom.
The words flashed in his mind like a lighthouse beacon, teasing him.
It’s crazy
. And even if it wasn’t, it was self-serving.
You could save Kate’s wedding. Her reputation. Her career. It’s an honorable thing.
But I would also be getting what I wanted. Is that selfish?
You were willing to let her go, because you thought that was right. Was that selfish? She needs you now. And you’re in a position to help her.
“What am I going to do?” Kate asked
She turned her doe eyes on him, looking at him, needing him. It was heady. He wanted to protect her, to gather her close, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings.
“How am I going to face everyone? What am I going to tell the media? My publisher?” For the first time, her lip trembled, and she caught it between her teeth. “They paid for everything; did you know that?”
Should he say it? Should he offer himself? Could it even work? “Maybe it could.”
“What?”
He didn’t know he’d said it aloud until he heard Kate’s response. Well, he was in just deep enough, he figured he might as well dive in headfirst. “I have an idea. It’s a little crazy.”
Surprisingly, she breathed a wry chuckle. “My whole life’s a little crazy at the moment.”
He studied her. She was actually looking at him with something like hope in her eyes. “Way I see it, the only thing missing is a groom.”
Her laugh was sharp. “A necessary ingredient, I think you’ll agree.”
He nodded once, hoping she’d put two and two together so he wouldn’t have to say it. “What if there was a different groom?”
Now she reared back slightly, blinking.
Great. She thinks I’m nuts.
“I don’t exactly have a waiting list, Lucas.”
He shuffled his feet, then leaned against the workhorse, not sure if he was ready for what came next.
Just say it. The worst she can do is laugh in my face.
“What if I stood in for Bryan?”
He scuffed at the white paint on the tip of his right tennis shoe as silence closed in around him. A long silence. An uncomfortable silence. If he could’ve caught the words and pulled them back, he would’ve. Instead, he glanced at Kate. The expression on her face reinforced his wish.
“Why would—” She cleared her throat. “Why would you do that?”
Why would I do it? Because I love you.
But he couldn’t say that. Why hadn’t he thought this out before he’d opened his big mouth?
He lifted his shoulder. “To help you,” he said.
Her brows pulled together. “We’re talking marriage here, not some little favor.”
Favor. What if he made a bargain with her? What if she could do something for him in return? “I’d want something in return.”
What?What do I want in return?
At that, her eyebrows slackened as her lips took up the tension, pressing together. Her glare was direct and meaningful, and he immediately knew what she was thinking.
“Don’t flatter yourself,” he said.
She shook her head as if dislodging a distasteful picture. “It doesn’t matter. It wouldn’t work. Even if the rest of the world doesn’t know who I was marrying, my dad does. And so does Chloe, my editor, and Pam and Anna. Not to mention Bryan’s family.”