Authors: Amanda Lance
Cyrus
, however, took her disheartened laugh with personal offense and his eyes went wide, sinister with something brewing just beneath. He called out, knocking the coffee table against the wall, all the while shouting names at her she recognized from Kasper’s tantrums when he watched soccer on TV.
Now, she could see the resemblance.
“Do you think this is a joke? That
atrocity
destroyed the lot of us with his lies! Sent my mother to perish in her sickbed while my brother died in jail! He deserves little more than death!”
Emilia attempted to control her fear by concentrating on the vein that pulsed from his neck. As quickly as he had become enraged however, Cyrus managed to simmer himself down with a laugh.
“But I have a better idea.”
She tried to keep her expression unreadable. Maybe if she could do that
, then he wouldn’t see her fear. Emilia didn’t want to give him that much satisfaction.
“What are you going to do?”
“The question is…” He smirked. “What are you going to do?”
Emilia twitched her toes in her shoes. There was that faint sense of triumph when he said that. Didn’t this guy know that she’d rather die than hurt Kasper? That she would give her life for his any day
of the week? Obviously not, because if he had, he wouldn’t have even suggested something so outrageous.
“I came here almost four years ago looking to exact justice on that
thing
. But when I saw how he was living, I deemed it pointless to do so. Death for him would have just been a release.”
She narrowed her eyes and stared at the floor.
“Then, last year I come back to his area and I find him a changed man! Free from care, and even happy! And I thought to myself, how gratifying it would be to remove from him his greatest joy, just like he removed my mother’s from hers by sending Jamshid off to prison.”
“You’ve been watching him? Me? Us?”
Even in the circumstances, Emilia appreciated the contrariness of what he was telling her—How Kasper was being spied on while he justified doing the same thing to Emilia. Would he be angry when he found out? Of course he would, she scolded herself. But the real question was, would he be outraged enough to do something about it?
“Not always
,” he admitted. “When you left for this place I really narrowed him in my sights, certain that he would kill himself at any time. Yet, unfortunately, when that didn’t happen, I thought I would seek you out and send you back to him—piece by piece.”
“You’r
e sick,” she said, no longer caring so much about whether or not her fear showed. “You need some help. Why don’t we just go to student services—?”
“Shut up!”
he roared. “You wanted to know and I am telling you, so just shut your damn mouth!”
She nodded slightly and looked away.
“You turned out slightly more interesting than I expected, certainly more entertaining to look at, and I surprised myself by rather enjoying the American college life—I thought I would bide my time.”
Emilia shut her eyes tightly and tried not to think about everything he might ha
ve seen since he moved to the building—all of the opportunities he had to hurt her and didn’t take them.
“Don’t worry
.” He smiled. “I
still
enjoy the college life—or rather the coeds. In fact, I am registered for the upcoming semester in Texas, which is why, you understand, I am rather eager to put this to bed.”
The sound of the phone ringing made her jump
, and when Andrew lifted the barrel of the gun at her reaction, she immediately went to sit on her hands. The less of a threat he perceived her as, the better.
“Ah ha!” he said
, waving the phone in her face, “speak of the
thing
now.”
He stood and walked
up behind her, mumbling something about how she must have felt shame herself for knowing him since she had put his number and name in her phone under the Weber pseudonym. Emilia only caught every other word however, her head was spinning with the bombardment of new information.
“Tell him where you are and nothing else. If you try to warn him in
any way I’ll shoot that mutt’s tail off just for fun.”
She moved her hand up slowly
. With the gun right next to her, there was no way she could make a run for the door or even avoid answering the phone. At least, she could try to say something in code—anything to make him not fall for the trap she was about to set.
“H-hello?”
“Do you intend to have me swelter in this vehicle all day?”
“Kasper
, I—”
Cyrus brought the gun to her head. “I caught a bus and went to my apartment.”
He turned the safety off.
“My neighbor’s apartment
, actually. I was feeling sick and didn’t want you blasting
Ha, wie will ich triumphieren
the entire way back.”
Emilia felt a small beam of success illuminate within her. There had been no music on their drive to the hospital, and point in fact
, the aria about two lovers about to be tortured to death was one Emilia loved, not Kasper.
“Well
,” he said with a slight hesitation, “Are you all right now? Do you want me to come to you?”
Cyrus nodded intently to indicate that he should.
“Um—yes? Y-you should stop by.”
Emilia closed her eyes and tried to think of something other than the gun against her head, anything abo
ut the fear of impending death and how it felt like a pillow being pushed over her face.
“Very well then. I am on my way.”
Cyrus ripped the phone from her hand and hung it up for her.
“That was pathetic
,” he mumbled.
“I did what you asked
, now let me go.”
“You’ve only halfway finished
, Em. There’s one more thing I need you to do.”
When it became evident that he wouldn’t answer until provoked, Emilia clenched her hands and
put on her best brave face. What else was he planning? What else would be possibly do for the cause of hurting Kasper?
“What?”
“I want you to break up with him.”
Emilia startled. He didn’t say what she thought he did, did she?”
“In my studies, I have concluded that you are the prime catalyst for every action he takes. If you damage his psyche, break him…” His smirk made Emilia’s skin crawl. “Well, let’s just say I want to see what happens.”
“No
.” She shook her head violently. “I won’t do it.”
“You
will
do it. You will be cruel, condescending, and more malicious than you ever thought you could be. You
will
call him names and make your disgust well known! You will—”
“No! I won’t!”
Instead of hitting her again like she feared, he walked out in front of her, every motion deliberately slow as he knelt down in front of her and all but forced her to look into his eyes. “If you don’t, then I will kill him the moment he walks through that door and make your life as miserable as possible before I leave this place. And while it’s only
his
life I want to make miserable, I can promise you that I can and will ruin yours before I am through.”
Little did he seem to understand that watching
Kasper die, having him no longer exist in the world, would ruin her life.
“Or if you are truly vehement against the idea
…” He shrugged as if it was an inconsequential afterthought. “I could kill you now and flee before he arrives. He’ll spend the remainder of his sad days searching for me while I ruin the remainder of his life, taking his clients, destroying his reputation—”
She put her hands over her ears. Once said out loud, it was all too easy to picture: Kasper finding her still warm body and giving in to despair, letting his business that he worked so hard for fall apart, his life coming undone.
Maybe it was so easy to picture because the same would happen to her if she lost him.
And she knew then that she couldn’t risk Kasper’s
safety and even her own since they were so intertwined.
Somewhere, in the confinement of the small room
, the sound of Tut’s whining increased.
“Doesn’t that damned thing ever shut up? I should have killed him when I had the opportunity…”
“What?” She sniffed and pushed the tears back. Emilia wouldn’t give him the privilege of seeing her cry. Of knowing that the fear he had inspired in her was making her think terrible thoughts.
“How do you think he got so sick
, Em? I
thought
I gave him enough to kill the ugly bastard, but I guess not.”
All the facts went in and out of her mind: how sick Tut had gotten when she was out with Kasper, how her neighbor had known Tut’s weakness for
peanut butter, how he had her spare key…
“You’re the
bastard, you sick freak! What kind of so-called man poisons a dog and points a gun at a girl’s head?”
“A determined on
e—and just remember this: if you walk out of here, I can still get to your friends, your dog…everything in your life that you love, I can take away in a second.”
“I hate you.”
“Well…” He laughed. “Considering your taste in males, I think it’s safe to say your judgment is a bit off.”
White Lies
There was no uncertainty in his mind that there had been something strange going on, something that had her on edge and put a higher pitch to the sound of her voice. What exactly it was, however eluded him, and Kasper found himself sweating even in the air conditioning—apprehension coming over him like a thick shroud.
Kasper failed t
o understand why she had—as the younger Americans like to say, ‘ditched’ him at the hospital—and it was when he explored all of the possibilities that the first feeling of unease came over him. What if her friend was seriously injured? Certainly he cared nothing for the girl, but he knew Emilia did, and that made her a concern of his as well. In the worst case scenario that the ninny died, Emilia would surely be upset, possibility even destroyed.
Considering this, he phone
d the hospital from his car first, and inquired on her friend’s condition. The hospital at first refused to take his call, but when he claimed to work for an insurance company they were more than willing to confess that she was in recovery and preparing to be discharged.
If that was the case, then why was it taking so long for Emilia to return to him? Certainly, he considered that she might want to visit with her
injured friend and he was willing to give up his time to that as long as she returned to him in due course. And yet she didn’t, and when his first call went unanswered, the feeling of anxiety increased. Could she have gotten herself into some sort of trouble? Suddenly become ill?
At the mere idea, he called her again. Knowing his foolish girl the way she did
, she had probably fallen down an elevator shaft.
And yet, because
of the sound in her voice, he did not feel any better when his call finally got through. She apparently had not been hurt, but it was so unlike her to abort her obligations that Kasper could not help but suspect something else. And what of her mention of Mozart’s aria? Unable to think clearly though his worry, he broke a variety of speed limits and traffic laws to get to her as soon as he possibly could.
What he found
, however, was not what he expected.
“Emi
lia.” He knocked on her door, only to immediately reprimand himself. If she was feeling ill, trying to rest with a headache, then his noise would do her no service. Perhaps he should have just let himself in? He shook his head and tried to think. Why was that mutt of hers whining like that?
“Kasper
.”
At the sound of his name, he turned to watch her emerge
from the door at the end of the stairwell, her brows knit and her lovely lips frowning.
“There you are
, my little peach. I was beginning to worry…” The look that registered over her face became cold—so cold, in fact, that he shivered.
“You shouldn’t have worried. I’m sorry.”
The word registered hard within him, echoing like a bell in a churchyard. Why in the world did she look so remorseful? So sad? Before he had the opportunity to ask however, a young man—who seemed familiar to him but he could not place—appeared from the door behind her.
“
Thanks for agreeing to stop by, Kasper,” she said, crossing her arms over herself. “We need to talk.” Emilia began her slow trek up the little flight of stairs and nodded to the unknown young man.
“Why d
on’t we go inside?” the young man said with a gesture of his hand.
He didn’t know who this yo
ung man was, nor his connection to Emilia, but he hated him instantly—hated him for the familiarity he took with Emilia in touching her lower back, the way she so willingly allowed him to enter her home behind him.
“What is the meaning of
this?” Kasper demanded, running past the barking mutt. The dog, however, had little use for him, high-tailing it straight for Emilia and her affectionate arms.
“
We need to talk about last night—about the week in general.”
Kasper’s mouth might have fallen open if it were capable. She would talk about their
illicit activities? Now? In front of this stranger?
He blinked hard. “Pardon me?”
She looked up and away from him, rising from kneeling to give the mutt something in its bowl. Luckily, for Kasper’s unhinged nerves, the act shut the animal up almost immediately.
“It was a mistake.”
And then the world fell.
“Emilia?”
“Andrew and I have been talking and—”
“Andrew?
” When had his chest become so tight? His heart so unwilling to beat regularly? “Who in the hell is
Andrew
?”
“Huh—hi there. I’m Andrew
,” the young man said with a wave of his hand, which he then extended. “You must be Kasper. Or do you go by Kas?”
He slapped the hand away with
disdain, rushing to secure Emilia for himself. What in the world was she up to now? Could this possibly be another game of hers? A test of his feelings to see how jealous he would become?
“Emilia, w
-what is going on here? Why is this person here?”
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”
She looked over her shoulder at the young man, almost, he mused for a moment, for confirmation. “We aren’t going to work out. Point in fact—” she added for emphasis. “There is no
we
…there never was.”
In the month since he had had Emilia back in his life, his anxiety and tendency towards
melancholy had reduced significantly—just as they had during her stay at the manor. It increased his fascination of her and her healing properties about her—not unlike an ancient spring. Only now, as his veins contracted painfully, he hypothesized that her power had transformed somehow, evolving from one of a positive nature to a detrimental one.
It seemed she could now kill him through words alone.
“What are you talking about? Last night—”
“Last night,” she said with some clear annoyance. “I was practically drunk and I wanted to thank you for everything you did. The day before was no different, only with the dress.”
“No.” He shook his head as if he co
uld shake her words from his ears; unhear the truth he suspected all along. “No, that’s not right.”
“What
’s not
right
is how you came here to get your rocks off.” She shrugged as if his suddenly heaving breathing wasn’t happening, like it didn’t matter at all. “I guess though, it wasn’t
right
for me to use sex to get you to help with the shelter, either. I guess that makes us even?”
He was vaguely aware of her young man
nodding beside him. “An eye for an eye, a shag for a shag? I’d say so.”
“No!” Kasper
hollered repeatedly. “No! Y-you know that isn’t true, and I know you love me!”
“I’m sorry
, Kasper, but I don’t.”
“S-stop this
, Emilia.” He grabbed at his chest, the pain above and below nearly too much. If she wanted to kill him, why didn’t she just poison him? Cut his throat in his sleep to be merciful? “What are you trying to do to me?”
“Just tell you the truth
.” She shrugged. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me but I’m tired of playing games. I have to do what’s best for me…” She glanced over at the young man and smiled with a little extra gleam of something he had never seen.
“W-
what’s b-best for you? I am what’s best for you! Even at their best, no man will ever love you as much as I do!”
“No
,” she stated, looking back at him firmly. “Andrew is what’s best for me. We have more in common than you and I ever could, we both want the same things, have the same values…
He might have attacked the young man had he not run to hide behind Emilia—the vague recollection
of her safety coming before Kasper’s own anger.
“
That
is why he’s here,” she added quickly. “I didn’t want you to react and not have any protection.”
“Y-you think…”
He struggled to find his footing in the spinning room. “I could never harm you…under any situation…”
“That’s not the point
,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “What happened to Claudette made me realize that I need a real man around who can protect me—not a monster to just take out its cave when I’m feeling scared.”
The life that remained was crushed with a pretty face and a
condescending smile.
“Besides,”
she said wrapping her arm around the young man’s waist. “What could I ever really do with you, anyway? You couldn’t even give me children.” She smirked and looked up at the young man. “Not ones that weren’t disabled, anyway.”
“Emilia—”
He choked back on his own words before continuing. If there was ever a time for him to take a pill or have a drink, now would have been it. But he was alone, being left behind while everything good and decent floated away. “I-I love you.” The floor beneath him had suddenly become an earthquake, while dark clouds gathered in front of his eyes and a volcano erupted in his chest.
“So what?” Emilia
tilted her head and scoffed. “You didn’t actually think I was going to still be with you after the gala, did you? That I would spend the rest of my life with you or even waste the rest of my youth?”
His lips trembled silently as the
burn at the back of his eyes became too much to bear.
“
Oh my God, you did!” she pouted condescendingly. “That’s so sad.”
The young man went to wipe
away his fake tears and laughed.
Emilia joined him in the laugh
ter, pushing her long hair away from her face and bringing her delicate hand to cover her mouth.
Who knew the
apocalypse would be so beautiful?
“D-don’t do this
, Emilia.” Kasper reached for his chest again, as if he could control his pain through sheer will alone. “W-whatever it is…I can change…”
The young man laughed harder. They both did.
“Okay, okay,” she said, shushing her young man. “Seriously though, Kasper, you should probably go home now. There’s nothing left for you here.”
“Why?” he begged
. “Why would you do this to us?”
She rolled her eyes and snickered. “What are you not getting about this?” Emilia released the young man to wave her hands in front of Kasper’s face. “There is no
us
. I don’t even like
you
, I just felt sorry for you, that’s
all
.”
She spoke slowly and deliberately
, as if he were a small child. Did she really think so little of him?
“Really,” she seemed to emphasize more than usual. “I was trying to do so
mething nice by being with you, multitask by gaining a little experience for myself… but enough is enough. This has gotten way out of hand and you need to get over it.”
“I—
you…” Kasper pulled at his head, trying to put a valve on the volcano inside him. How appropriate would it be for him to die right then and there?
“Okay
.” Emilia sighed. “Listen, I wasn’t going to say anything, but since you really don’t seem to be getting this, I guess I have to. Tut was never sick. I just wanted an excuse to stay away from you. When you called and I invited you to come up, I was going to end this right then and there.”
“You gave us a really good laugh to start the night off.” The young man squeezed her hand tightly. “We made our own laughs later though, didn’t we
, baby?”
“You—you were with him?”
“That’s right,
freak show
. Now, I believe the lady asked you to leave?”
Emilia walked over to the door and held it open for him—not unlike the first night he came to her.
So it seemed his body would not be merciful enough to fail for a final time. How terrible, he thought, that he shouldn’t get to perish at the feet of the gentle villain who killed him…
“I-
I am sorry, my foolish girl,” Kasper said between sobs. “I should never have wasted your time.”
“No kidding
,” scoffed the young man.
And then he was gone, scuffled along by his slow feet and Emilia’s unwillingness to look at him.
***
She might have lasted an entire thirty seconds before she began crying, large, rich tears that fell without mercy and blocked all of her other senses. Every word
that she made herself tell him was a depraved pronunciation of her lie—a vile untruth she could barely make herself say, let alone act out. And yet, he had believed her so easily, barely even disputing her claims to not love him. Had she broken him so easily? Destroyed their nearly cosmic relationship with a few well timed gestures and harsh words? What if they got out of this unscathed and he didn’t forgive her—couldn’t forgive her? Hated her for not thinking up a more clever way to escape Cyrus’s clutches?