Chapter 21
Jaylin
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What can I say, other than I fucked up! Even though a tiny part of me felt as if my actions were justified, I never thought I was capable of bringing so much turmoil to my marriage. I felt horrible inside and to see Nokea so torn really made me feel bad for what I'd done. My selfishness was a muthafucka, but at the time, I surely felt as if I was doing what was best for me.
And Scorpio? She was just as pissed about the whole damn thing. I wasn't trying to break it down to her like that, but when she started running off at the mouth to Nokea, that shit made me mad. She didn't have to tell Nokea we'd had sex eleven times. She could have said one or two times and been done with it. I guess I can be a bit thankful that her numbers were way off. I knew damn well we'd done it more than eleven times and I had the after affects to prove it. I hadn't really thought about any pussy since then, and when I stopped by Jay's, I wasn't intending to go there for sex. Truly, I wanted to share my decision with Scorpio and try to end things on a positive note. So much for that. When I saw Nokea, my heart jumped right into my stomach. I felt her pain. It really looked as if Scorpio and me were about to set some shit off. As always, Nokea handled her business well. No matter what the situation was, she never showed her ass. I knew she wanted to mess me up, and possibly Scorpio too, but being the woman she was, deep down, she knew what belonged to her. That's why I love my wife. She's a classy lady. I have to give her credit for putting up with me.
By morning, I hadn't gotten much sleep. I lay in bed with my arms wrapped around Nokea while she lay on my shoulder. Looking at how pretty she was, I moved her bangs away from her forehead and kissed it several times. The television was on, so I flipped through the channels with the remote and stopped to watch the news. A few minutes later, Nokea slowly opened her puffy eyes and looked up at me.
“What time is it?” she asked, noticing the bright sun cracking through the opened doors to the balcony.
“Almost eight o'clock. Do you have something to do today?”
“Nothing,” she said, laying her head back on my shoulder. Her eyes faded again. Once she went back to sleep, I eased out of bed without waking her. I went to the kitchen to make us breakfast. As soon as I got there, I noticed my cell phone on the kitchen's island. The light was blinking so I knew I had a message waiting. I saw that Scorpio had called me at one fifteen in the morning. I checked my voice mail and heard her message.
I just had to call and tell you what a cruel person I think you are. And as cruel as you may be, I could kick myself for loving you so much. You might not think that I got much out of the deal, but just being with you for those days was, I guess, more than I could ask for. I'm hoping there's a possibility that I gain more from our time together, but only a few more weeks will tell. Yes, I'm speaking of having your child and I worked hard to make that happen. So did you, and even though you might be angry about this possibility, remember, it was a risk you were willing to take. Don't expect to hear from me anytime soon, and eventually, you know I'll be in touch.
Scorpio ended her call and I deleted her message. I couldn't tell if she was fucking with me or not, but I did take a big, big risk. I'd thought about using a condom, but I was so caught up and excited about being inside of her again that I decided against it. As I thought for a moment about all the juices I put inside of her, I picked up the phone to call Shane. I knew he had some of the answers to my questions.
“Damn,” he answered in a sleepy voice. “I hadn't expected you to call me any time soon. I guess I'm forgiven?”
“Hell, naw, so shut the fuck up. Are you awake, though?”
“Barely. I just got to bed around five in the morning, what's up?”
“I need to ask you a few things.”
“If it's about me and Nokea, what did I tell you?”
“Naw, it's not about you and Nokea. I got some suspicions about that shit, but maybe it's just me tripping. I want to know the last time you and Scorpio had sex.”
“The day I got out of jail, why?”
“I'm just checking. I know you ain't trying to hear this, but I rocked the boat without a jimmy on. I'm trying to make sure everything's cool, that's all.”
“No, I'm not trying to hear that Jay, and what you and Scorpio do or did is not my business anymore.”
“Look, don't be bitter about this shit, all right? I know how you felt about Scorpio, but you knew how I felt about her too. You once told me that you couldn't control who's in your heart and I accepted that. Well, my dick made some choices this time, and even though I'm not delighted about my choices, I can't change a thing that's happened.”
“Believe me, I'm gon' shake this shit as quickly as I can. Still, I'm a bit shocked by how quickly Scorpio ran back to you. Nobody understands the hold you have on her better than her.”
“I understand it, and many times, love makes you do some crazy things. I was her first love, Shane, and Scorpio will never forget me. Now, though, I do need a favor from you.”
“I'm almost afraid to ask.”
“Just be thereâbe nice to her. Don't be hard on her for the choice she made and, uh, keep me posted on things.”
“You mean, keep you posted if she pops up pregnant?”
“You're a smart man, Shane. I knew I could count on you. Would you happen to know when her next period is expected?”
“How would I know that shit?”
“Because I keep up with Nokea's like clockwork. When you're in a relationship, these things are important.”
Shane laughed. “She's expected to come on next week. I'm not sure if we'll keep in touch that much, but whatever I find out, maybe I'll let you know.”
“Thank you. I hope I can count on you to let Scorpio find happiness with another man.”
“Only if I can count on you to be the man who your wife deserves. I will never touch Scorpio again. What could have been will never be.”
“I'm putting forth my best efforts to make shit right with my wife. I admit, I fucked up, big time. I hope like hell we recover from this shit. If I lose Nokea, man, I know I will have lost a good thing.”
“I'm glad you recognize that. Y'all will get through this, only because of the love you share. In a week or two, I'll be in touch to let you know what's up.”
“Cool. You know I appreciate it and if you're bothered by my accusations about you and Nokea, I apologize for those too. I feel as though she . . . somebody's not telling me everything. I will not be mad if she found comfort in another man through all of this. I just want to know.”
“Negro, you must think I'm a fool. You would go crazy if Nokea had been with me or anybody else and you know it. There's no way you would be able to handle what you dished out to her. Luckily for you, Nokea is not capable of bringing that kind of hurt to you. You can believe whatever it is that you'd like, but instead of looking for an outlet for what you've done, you'd better focus on trying to do what you can to make things right. No doubt, she's been through a lot, Jay. She doesn't need to hear about your bullshit assumptions about me and her. What happened at that motel was unfortunate, but you have my word, it never went any further than that.”
“I hope not Shane. I truly hope that you and Nokea didn't pursue your feelings for one another. I could barely deal with your relationship with Scorpio, but you know Nokea is a lot different. The thought of her being with anyone else just kills me. I'm not making excuses for what I did, but it was the only way for me to escape my harsh feelings. Scorpio put me at ease. Being able to discuss and release my frustrations really helped me. I hate she got disappointed again, but didn't we all?”
“Yeah, we did. Now, it's time to pick up the pieces and see how we can put them back together.”
“I'm starting with breakfast in bed for my wife. Hopefully, I'll get lucky by the end of the week and things will start to take a turn. Pray for me, dog, all right?”
“No doubt.”
“Good. Now, walk me through how to make French toast. Since Nanny B ain't here, I'm trying to impress Nokea. I know there's some seasoning salt around here somewhere.”
“Seasoning salt? For what?”
“The French toast, fool.”
“Ah, I think you might want to ditch the seasoning salt and go with some cinnamon. That will work a lot better.”
“Cinnamon?” I said while looking through the seasoning rack. I reached for it. “Got it! You damn sure all right with me. Now what?”
Shane laughed and walked me through preparing the French toast. Once I got things started, I thanked him and hung up. I turned on the radio and kicked up “Made to Love You” by Gerald Levert. I sang and hummed the lyrics, thinking of Nokea.
Breakfast was finished, so I put everything on a tray, and grabbed a sunflower that was in a vase on the table. Nokea was still asleep so I mumbled her name to wake her. She cracked her eyes and then widened them when she saw me. She sat up in bed and stretched her arms.
“What's this?” she said, as I lay the tray in front of her.
I removed the flower from my mouth and handed it to her. She took the flower. “Thanks, but I can do without a plastic flower. I need a flower with good fragrance to wake me.”
“I got you,” I said, leaving the room. I went outside through the kitchen and picked a flower from Nanny B's flower garden. I went back into the bedroom, giving the flower to Nokea.
“This is the best I can do for right now,” I said.
She took the flower from my hand and sniffed it. “Thanks,” she said, placing it on the tray with her food.
“Move your legs up so I can lie sideways on the bed,” I said.
Nokea sat Yoga style and I lay sideways in front of her so I could feed her. I held the fork and picked up a piece of the cut French toast.
“Your mouth is going to water so badly for more of this. Open wide.”
She opened her mouth and once I put the French toast in she chewed. She nodded with approval. “Okay, not bad. But, who told you how to make French toast? Did you get a hold of one of Nanny B's recipes?”
“Baby, French toast is simple. Who needs a recipe?”
“You do. You rarely cook and Iâ”
“Okay, I ain't gon' lie. I called Shane and he hooked me up.”
“Are you serious?” she smiled. “Shane told you how to cook French toast?”
I fell back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. “Thank you, Jesus, she smiled! I can't believe she smiled. Even though I had to mention Shane in order for her to do it, I feel blessed.”
I sat back up and Nokea rolled her eyes at me.
“Sorry,” I said. “But, I had to go there. I was only kidding, though, all right?”
I reached for the fork again, but Nokea took it from me. “I think I can do this,” she said. “Your efforts are well appreciated. Since you fixed your plate too, why don't you join me?”
“I am. But, after I fed you, I wanted you to feed me.”
Nokea looked at my plate and forked up a piece of the French toast. She put it in my mouth and I chewed. “Damn, that's delicious. You gon' owe me big time for slaving in the kitchen like that.”
Not saying a word, she scooped up some cheese eggs with a spoon and fed those to me too. I took the spoon from my mouth and scooped up some eggs on her plate. She looked at the spoonful of eggs and smiled again.
“That spoon was in your mouth, wasn't it?” she said. “I don't think I can use that spoon.”
I put the spoonful of eggs in my mouth and removed the tray from her lap. I put it on the floor, dropping the spoon on the tray. I lay over Nokea and she stretched her legs so I could get comfortable. I looked down at her.
“So are you implying that my mouth is contagious,” I asked.
“No,” she whispered. “I was implying that the spoon was.”
“That's right, baby, clean up your words. For the record, you are stuck with these lips. They got too much love for you, and like it or not, they're here to stay.”
I leaned in and placed my lips on Nokea's. At first, she was hesitant, but then she went with the flow. Her hands held the sides of my face, and when her fingers teased the back of my hair, I felt slightly relieved. I took things a bit further and pecked down the side of her neck, making my way to her breasts. When I tried to lower the thin strap on her shoulder, she lightly pushed me back.
“Not now. Give me time, okay?”
I looked into her still puffy eyes, placing tender kisses on them. “Take all the time you need. I'll be right here. I'm not going anywhere, I promise.”
She nodded and her petite body remained underneath me. We made such an attractive couple. I was starting to feel as if we were making progress. We kissed again, and as I started to get more into it, Nokea stopped me.