Nephew's Wife, The (18 page)

Rand frowned at his aunt’s scolding.  He hadn’t looked at things that way.  Ellen had given up a lot for Paul.  Did the motive really matter?  In those nine years, she could have gone back to college and started a career.  She could have married and had children.  Instead, she took a menial job at the care center that didn’t pay much over minimum wage just so she could stay near Paul.  Rand felt small for thinking so low of her.  Ellen had spent her entire life in tragedy’s fist, taking care of people. 

His appetite had disappeared, but he had reached the exit for the restaurant so he pulled off the interstate anyway.  Dolly needed the outing.  He’d make things right with Ellen as soon as he got home.

Ellen hated refusing Dolly’s lunch invitation, but she’d been in the middle of writing out her letter of resignation when Dolly phoned so dining with Rand didn’t seem appropriate.  As soon as she worded the letter the way she wanted, Ellen carried it downstairs and laid it on Rand’s desk.  To her shock, she’d not shed one tear the whole time.  Resigning seemed the most plausible thing to do in light of things.  She was in God’s care.  He had plans for her, and she was going to be open to them. 

With that deed behind her, Ellen strolled to the kitchen to fix herself some lunch.  Despite her wariness, she was hungry.  Celeste and Edward had weekends off so Ellen had the house to herself.  She found a can of tomato soup and warmed it on the stove.  Comfort food, she thought, and she needed lots of comforting. 

Making the decision to leave had made Ellen strong, but sad.  She struggled for peace of mind and the stamina to keep going. As she ate her soup, alone at the kitchen table, Ellen planned out her next two tasks, telling Dolly about her resignation and confronting Whitney. 

She finished her soup, washed up her dishes, and headed to her room.  Rand and Dolly would be home soon, and he’d find her letter on his desk.  Her decision had not been made lightly, but it was the right move.  She couldn’t work for a man who didn’t trust her, who thought the worst of her.  Dolly would understand. 

Needing something to keep her busy, Ellen straightened her drawers.  In the process, she came across the letters from Whitney and Vivian.  She plopped down on the bed and examined Vivian’s.  Curiosity begged Ellen to read it, but fear of being humiliated again made Ellen put it away.  One day she’d be able to read the woman’s last words to her, but not now, not when her emotions were shaky. 

Ellen turned her thoughts to Whitney.  She wondered if the woman had read Robin’s article yet.  If so, she was probably ballistic.  A chill snaked up Ellen’s spine.  She hoped she hadn’t unleashed a monster she couldn’t control.  The woman was bent on having Rand.  Sabotaging Whitney’s blackmail attempt may have thrown the woman on the warpath. Ellen doubted the woman would go away without a fight, but for some strange reason, Ellen didn’t fear her.

Something close to rage erupted inside Ellen at the thought of Whitney hurting Rand, but it subsided quickly as reality sank in.  Rand was not hers to defend or protect.  He’d rejected her love.  Tears veiled Ellen’s eyes as she recalled Rand’s stern reaction to her confession about Paul.  The despicable look he’d given her was forever burned in Ellen’s memory.  It had haunted her the last two nights, preventing sleep.

Ellen yawned around the thought.  All the thinking and worrying had made her drowsy. She put her head on the pile of pillows.  Within seconds, she was fast asleep.

Rand and Dolly returned some time later.  When Ellen didn’t greet them, Dolly assumed she was napping.

“Don’t disturb her, Randolph,” Dolly instructed her nephew who was concerned.  “She needs her sleep.”

Rand helped Dolly to bed for her nap then went to his room to change before retreating to his office to think.  Ellen’s letter caught his eye immediately.  He ripped it open.  It was formal, professional, and to the point.  A typical letter of resignation.

                            Dear Mr. Powers,

              Please accept this letter as notice of my resignation from your employment to take effect two weeks from today.  Under the circumstances, I feel unable to continue my work as companion to your aunt and wish to reestablish myself elsewhere. 

              I appreciate everything you and your aunt have done to make my work here enjoyable.

                            Sincerely,

                            Ellen Todd

Rand crumpled the letter in his hand and tossed it in the waste basket by his desk.  He didn’t want Ellen to resign.  He didn’t want her to work for him, either.  He wanted her to be his wife.  His aunt did, too, and had told him so over lunch.

“Ellen would make you a good wife, Randolph,” she’d said in her usual authoritative manner.  “I know she loves you.  She’s the kind of girl I always dreamed you’d marry.”

Rand had steered the conversation away from Ellen and onto business.  As much as he loved his aunt, he didn’t want to discuss his feelings for Ellen with her until he decided what to do about them. 

Now, swiveling in his chair, he let his mind wander in hopes it would uncover a resolution to the problem.  He loved Ellen very deeply.  That much he knew.  Facts lined up in his head. Ellen was not a shallow person who didn’t consider the feelings of others.  Her decision to break up with Paul had been a wise one. She had accepted responsibility for his accident and had remained faithfully beside him until his passing.  As his aunt pointed out, that said a lot about her character whether out of love or guilt.

Paul Kendall had been a blessed man.  Rand tapped his temple as a memory emerged.  He’d known of Paul.  They’d traveled the same social circles as up-starts years ago.  In fact, they’d been at the same parties several times.  Paul was a flashy, flamboyant charmer.  Somehow, Rand couldn’t see Ellen with Paul.  If memory served him right, he had never seen Ellen with Paul, but he did see other women with him.  One in particular came to light. 

Rand froze. A memory had fluttered to life, paralyzing him.  If he had his dates correct, a week before the accident, Rand had seen Paul at a social affair they had both attended, but Ellen wasn’t the girl on Paul’s arm.  He would have remembered her.  The face of the woman with Paul had been forgettable, but her personality hadn’t been.  She had been loud, obnoxious, and arrogant.  Nothing like Ellen.

There had been other functions that he and Paul had both attended.  Neither met the other.  Rand didn’t get too chummy with loudmouths and opportunists.  Paul was a charmer, but underneath the smooth behavior and handsome exterior was a slick, greedy, power hungry phony.  No wonder Ellen had decided not to marry him.  He’d always show up with a woman on his arm then flirted on the side, too.  Rand wondered if Ellen knew he’d been cheating on her. 

Interesting,
Rand thought.
Paul Kendall didn’t come across as the type to end his life over a breakup.  He seemed too free-spirited a guy to let that slow him down. 

              Some of the pieces weren’t falling into place.  Paul Kendall behaved like a playboy, going through family money, wanting it all, seeking attention from everyone, needing to be seen with flashy women.  Rand came in contact with men like this all the time.  Paul Kendall had been a jerk.  He wouldn’t wish bad things on the guy, but he didn’t deserve someone like Ellen.

              A sharp pain hit Rand between the eyes.  He pinched the spot.  This was the man Ellen had remained beside till his last days.  Rand wanted to take back everything he’d said to Ellen Friday night, but they were lost words, gone forever.  She wanted to leave his house, his employ, and probably him as well. 
Serves you right
, Rand thought.  He buried his head in his hands.  God had given him the woman of his dreams, and he’d driven her away. There was only one thing to do.

Chapter 14

Rand leapt from his desk.  He needed to speak to Ellen right away. 

Slow down, man.
  He halted half way up the stairs.  What was he going to say to her? 
The guy you were engaged to might have been cheating on you?
  Rand returned to his office and settled in his chair.  He had no proof of Paul’s unfaithfulness.  Besides, he didn’t know Paul’s heart.  Despite being a jerk, the man may have truly loved Ellen. 

I’m right back to square one,
Rand wrestled with himself.  Ellen had broken the guy’s heart, and he had flown out of the apartment in a rage.  If she hadn’t meant anything to him, he wouldn’t have become so distraught.  Paul had to have loved her.  She must have meant the world to him.  Rand could feel the anger rising in him again.  Paul had loved her so much, he couldn’t live without her.  He sympathized with the guy.

Not only had Ellen ripped his heart out, she had humiliated him. The next day, Paul would have faced a church full of people and told them his bride-to-be had dumped him.  Rand curled his fists.  It didn’t matter what kind of girl Ellen was at the time or what was going through her head.  She’d hurt Paul, plain and simple.  Something made the guy race through that stop sign just ten minutes from Ellen’s apartment. 

Rand had come full circle and was in the exact frame of mind he’d been in when Ellen first confessed what she’d done to Paul.  If only he didn’t love her so.  He could walk away and not dwell on it.  But his heart was crushed. 

I shouldn’t have let her in,
Rand scolded himself.
  I shouldn’t have dropped my guard and let Ellen into my heart. She’s just like Lana.
He regretted the accusation immediately.  Ellen wasn’t like Lana, but—she had broken a man’s spirit the way Lana had his. 

Rand reached down and retrieved Ellen’s resignation letter from the waste basket.  He straightened it out and placed it in a drawer for consideration.  Maybe it was better if she did leave his employ.  Sooner than later.  Having her so close muddled his thoughts and tangled his emotions.  If he didn’t have to see her on a daily basis, he could get over her quicker.  His mind was made up.  Ellen needed to go.

The decision didn’t bring Rand any peace.  In fact, it was the opposite.  It tore him in half.  His nerves were prickly, and his heart was bursting with pain.  He flew upstairs to check on his aunt.  She was fast asleep.  He paused outside Ellen’s door.  The thought of waking her crossed his mind, but he didn’t.  He knew she’d be awake soon.  Her first obligation would be to look in on his aunt.  At least he could trust her to do her job. 

Ellen.
He couldn’t think about her without trembling.  That was enough to drive him away.  He needed a clear head when he dismissed her.  He’d go where he could be totally alone and not distracted by the lingering presence of Ellen’s fragrance or the sound of her gentle steps or the sight of her graceful moves.  Rand forced himself away from Ellen’s door and down the stairs into the garage.  He jumped behind the wheel of the fastest car he owned and fired up the engine.

              Ellen had awakened when she heard Rand open and close Dolly’s door. His quiet moves told her he was checking on his aunt not visiting her.  It puzzled Ellen when she heard him linger outside her room momentarily.  Ellen was alerted when he stomped away.  Urgency vibrated in his gait as he raced toward the staircase.  The heaviness of his footsteps had made her shiver.  They echoed Paul’s the night he tromped across her apartment and sped away from the building.  A few moments passed before Ellen heard the gunning of a car engine. Rand was leaving the estate.  The sound of his car squealing away triggered dark memories of Paul tearing out of the parking lot the night of his accident.  Ellen grabbed her stomach in fear.                                      

             
He’s read my letter
, Ellen surmised with dread,
and now he’s furious.
  She glanced at the clock.  She’d been asleep two hours.  Rising, she straightened her clothes and finger combed her hair then traipsed quietly into Dolly’s room.   Dolly was softly snoring. Ellen went back to her room.  She was jittery and needed something to still her nerves.

Vivian’s letter came to mind.  Ellen opened the drawer by her bed and pulled it out.  It seemed appropriate to read it the same day the article in the paper came out. Might as well get all the bad news out in the open at once, Ellen joked without laughing. 

She held Vivian’s letter in her hand until she got the courage to read it.

Just do it, Ellen. It can’t possibly cause any more hurt than you already feel.

With a deep breath Ellen ripped the letter open.  Wrapped inside a sheet of typing paper was a smaller envelope address to
Mother
in Paul’s handwriting.  Ellen was intrigued at once.  Why would Vivian include something as personal as a note to her from her son?

She put the smaller envelope aside and unfolded the sheet of paper.

                            Dear Ellen,

              I hope you will forgive me one day for what I’m about to tell you.  I couldn’t bring myself to tell you when we saw each other at the care center. You were so heartbroken over Paul’s tragic accident. I didn’t want to add to your pain so I kept quiet and let you assume Paul was the man you thought he was.  Keeping the secret turned me bitter, but knowing my son’s plans made me angry.  I should have been closer to you.  I should have helped you in your grief, but I was too ashamed.

              After Paul’s accident, I found the note I’ve enclosed. It explains what I’m saying to you. I’m so sorry I waited until after Paul’s death to give this to you. I didn’t want you to suffer any more than you already had.  I hope and pray I made the right choice. If not, please forgive me. I only wanted to keep you from hurting more than you did.  Please forgive Paul, too. I know you have a Christian heart so I appeal to that when I ask forgiveness for both of us.  God bless you for what you’ve done for my son.