Authors: Maureen Child
His gaze followed her stiff-backed progress until she disappeared around the corner of the bunkhouse. He slammed his hat back on his head and cursed under his breath. Damn female! She talked so durn fast, he could hardly keep up with what she was sayin', let alone think of somethin' to say back!
Why, she'd as much as called him a fool outright for wantin' justice for his murdered brother! What kind of man, he wanted to know, did she want him to be? The kind that shrugged off violence visited on his family?
He squinted into the distance. Sounded to him like she didn't want him to go and she didn't want him to stay. Hell, he couldn't win.
Slowly Jesse walked to the corral fence and leaned his forearms on the top rail. Digging the makings out of his shirt pocket, he rolled a cigarette, lit a match, and dragged the hot smoke into his lungs. As he blew it out in a rush he watched the pale, blue-gray smoke dip, twist, then vanish in the wind. As if it had never been.
And for two years, that's just what Jesse'd been. No more than smoke in the wind. Abruptly he dropped the cigarette into the dirt and stubbed it out with the toe of his boot. He was tired of living like that. But he wasn't sure how to stop.
Of course, if Miranda turned up pregnant… that would change everything. No matter what she said, they would be married. And they'd go back to the Hogan ranch to live. He found himself smiling at the hazy mental images floating through his mind.
And what about the man you've been searching for for two years? his conscience chided. Jesse shook his head. That wouldn't change. He'd still find the man. He'd just have to do it faster. Try harder. Then, he'd have Miranda and the baby to go home to.
Jesse slapped his hand down on the fence post. This was all supposing Miranda was pregnant. What if she wasn’t? They'd know soon enough. What then? He flicked a quick glance toward town and came to a sudden decision.
Baby or no, he would marry her. Everything he'd said to her earlier in the day came back to haunt him and he was almost as angry as she'd been. For God's sake, he loved her. That was all that really mattered.
The rest could be ironed out. All that hogwash he'd spouted about not bein' right for her… well, she could forget it. 'Cause right or not, he was the only man she was gonna have.
He wanted to follow her now. Find her and tell her he loved her. Make her listen. Even now, the irony of the whole thing hit him. If not for the man he hunted, Jesse’d never have known Miranda. Just the thought of going through life without her was enough to give him a chill colder and deeper than anything he'd ever felt before.
Every sound, every scent seemed to bear down on him. A puff of wind carried the smell of bacon frying and the tinny sound of Big Pete's piano was unnaturally loud in the otherwise still afternoon. A sudden burst of laughter from the nearby bunkhouse echoed out and Jesse smiled ruefully. It was as if admitting he loved Miranda had allowed all the sights and sounds he'd missed-to touch him again. He almost felt… alive again.
He deliberately conjured up the images of his brother and sister-in-law. Their faces were becoming blurred in his memory and it seemed that he had to try harder and harder each time just to remember. And maybe that was as it should be. Maybe the forgetting was God's gift to us to ease the pain.
One thing he knew for certain. For the first time in two years his quest was not the most important thing on his mind.
But maybe it would be wise to let Miranda cool off some before telling her about his decision.
He pushed away from the fence and walked toward the stable. His horse could probably use a good brushing. Besides, it would give Jesse something else to do besides think. With one last look over his shoulder, he stepped into the darkened building.
As he got near, the huge horse stamped its feet and whinnied a greeting. Gently Jesse ran his hand over the big animal's neck.
"At least you're glad to see me," he said, and chuckled when the animal's nose pushed at his shoulder. Jesse stroked the animal's jaw and said softly, "She loves me. How 'bout that, horse? Who'da thought a woman like that could love somebody like me, huh?" The horse snorted. Jesse reached for the curry-comb and added, “Y’know somethin' else? I love her, too. Helluva thing to happen, ain't it?" He stared down at the comb in his hands and went on. "Somebody somewhere must be havin' quite a laugh over this. Sendin' me a woman like that at a time like this." Jesse stroked the horse's nose softly and said, “But you know what? Like it or not, that woman's goin' to marry me. After what happened today, she's got no choice anyhow."
Two giant hands came down on his shoulders. Jesse's eyes widened as his feet left the floor. Before he knew what was happening, he was flying through the air and then his body slammed into the stable wall, knocking down the newly mended bridles hanging there. When he landed with a crash on the ground below, he heard Birdwell thunder, "After what happened?"
#
"Shelly?" Dave said softly. "Did you hear me? I said me and Buck are Tex —“
She laid her fingers over his mouth and looked around uneasily. "Don't say it again. Someone might hear."
He kissed her fingertips and smiled. “You sayin' you would care if somebody shot me?"
Shelly lowered her gaze and let her hand fall to her side. She still couldn't believe it. Texas Rangers? In the canyon?
"Shelly?"
She looked up at him again and read the truth in his eyes. Good God. A Ranger. Her arms crossed over her chest, she took a step back, but Dave followed.
Marry a Ranger? Impossible. He didn't know. He couldn't know what she was. What kind of life she'd led. If he did, he'd never be sayin' all this.
"Shelly," he said, his voice strained. “You're commencin' to worry me. Say something."
Her mouth moved, but no words came out. How could she tell him? How could she not? Shelly's brain raced frantically as she tried to find a way out. Lord, if she accepted and said nothing about her past, what would happen the first time a man recognized her? What would Dave do then?
Accepted? her mind asked. Did she want to accept? She glanced up at his pale blue eyes, fringed with golden lashes. She studied the stray lock of blond hair that fell over his wide forehead. The soft smile she'd come to associate with him curved his lips and she noted his nervousness in his unusually stiff stance.
Yes. She wanted to accept. She wanted everything he'd said to her to be true. She wanted babies and to grow old with a man who would always love her. She wanted it all. But did she dare to risk it by telling him the truth about herself?
"Shelly?" He laid his hands on her shoulders and his thumbs moved in a slow reassurance, stroking her skin through the fabric of her blouse.
She took a deep breath, and before she could lose her nerve, Shelly started talking.
#
The man stopped, dismounted, and poured water from his canteen into his hat for the big gray to drink. The animal was tired. Nearly beat with the fast traveling of the last couple of weeks. But the man was determined to reach the canyon as quickly as he could. It had been too long already since he' d seen Miranda.
Two years ago he'd left her behind. But this time, when he left the bandit stronghold, he'd be taking Miranda with him.
Whether Birdwell liked it or not.
#
Jesse shook his head violently, blinked his eyes, and pushed himself to his feet. He pulled at the fallen reins and bridles draped over him until they lay on the floor in a heap, then he straightened up and faced the big, bearded man in the corner.
“I don't want to fight you, Birdwell."
The big man snorted. "Ain't surprised. Not many do." He took a step closer to Jesse.
"No." Jesse shook his head and took a step to the side. “It ain't your size. Not even that you'd prob'ly kill me."
"Then why?"
Jesse shrugged. "Guess it's cause you're only tryin' to protect Miranda. Can't fault you for that."
Birdwell stopped suddenly. Planting his feet wide apart, he cocked his head to one side and said much too quietly, “I saw you and Miranda outside. Couldn't hear ya, but I figure you're causin' her grief. I don't often see her that mad."
"That's between me and her," Jesse said just as quietly.
"That's where you're wrong, mister." Birdwell lifted his bearded chin and glared at the younger man. "You bring her grief, you deal with me. Now, are you gonna tell me just what the hell happened or ain't you?"
"Nope."
Birdwell pulled air into his massive chest and nodded abruptly. "Reckon we'll have to go a few rounds then, till you change your mind."
"Won't happen, Birdwell." Jesse met the big man's gaze squarely. “I’ll talk to Miranda. Later. After she's cooled down some. But I ain't tellin' you a damn thing."
A long, quiet, tension-filled minute passed before Birdwell relaxed his stance and crossed his arms over his chest. "All right. Then you just listen while I tell you something."
Jesse waited.
“I seen the way you two been circlin' 'round each other. You been givin' her looks that should've curled her hair since the day you first come here. And she's been lookin' back. And I know you was together today." He looked steadily at Jesse. “You was prob'ly at the tank. Miranda always heads there. And I'm bettin' that what with you two bein' young and healthy, somethin' went on up there that I wouldn't care to know about."
Jesse tried to keep his expression blank. He wasn't about to talk to Birdwell before he told Miranda.
"So I'm here to tell you, boy." Birdwell unfolded his arms and pointed one finger at the younger man opposite him. “You're about to be a married man."
“What?” It was one thing for Jesse to decide on his own, but it was quite another to be told what to do.
“You heard me. You ain't no outlaw, boy. I don't know just who the hell you are, or why you're here… but I do know you don't belong here." Birdwell paused another moment, then added, "And Miranda don't belong here no more neither."
"And you think she'll marry me just cause you say so?"
“I do."
Jesse laughed. He bent over, put his hands on his knees, and laughed until his sides hurt. Leaning back against the stable wall, he looked up at the confounded big man and laughed even harder.
"What's so damn funny?" Birdwell walked closer to him.
Gulping in air, Jesse fought for control It wasn't easy, though. The idea of that hardheaded woman doin' what anybody told her to do was just too funny. Finally he managed to look up at the man next to him and say, “I already told her I'd marry her if she was pregnant and she as much as told me to go to hell." He straightened up. "And you think she'll just up and marry me on your say-so!” Jesse shook his head slowly in disbelief.
"Pregnant?" Birdwell murmured.
Jesse glanced at the other man and didn't like what he saw. He tried to duck, but he was too late. Birdwell's fist caught him on the left cheek and he spun around and dropped to the ground. Lying in the dirt, Jesse looked up at the big man.
Birdwell rubbed his knuckles. “I told you. I didn't want to know what happened at the tank."
#
By the time she finished talking, Shelly couldn't bring herself to look Dave in the eye. Most of what she'd told him she'd never mentioned to another living soul. It was hard. enough to admit to yourself that you'd been a fool, let alone owning up to it to someone else.
But she'd done it. Told him all about Slick Stephens and how he'd forced her to "work" for him. About how coming to the canyon had saved her life because Birdwell rescued her from Slick and warned the man never to bother her again. She'd even reminded Dave that he just might run into some of her former "customers" one day.
Her fingers twisted together nervously as she waited for some sign from the tall blond man. She wished heartily that the restaurant floor would open up and swallow her. Then she'd never have to look into his eyes and see the disgust she was expecting.
“You finished now?" His voice was soft, caressing.
She nodded, but didn't look up.
Dave's hand cupped her cheek and turned her face up to his. Resolutely Shelly kept her eyes closed. She heard his quiet chuckle and then felt his lips brush against her mouth with a feather-light touch. Startled, her eyes flew open and the warmth in his eyes disarmed her.
“You're really somethin', Shelly. You know that?"
She shook her head.
“Yep.” His other hand moved to smooth her hair back from her face. “You're so busy tellin' me why you're no good, you don't even notice that a 'bad' woman wouldn't have bothered to open her mouth."
Shelly bit the inside of her lip and blinked frantically at the tears filling her eyes. She held her breath and waited.
“I love you, Shelly. Nothin' you can say or do is gonna change that." He bent down and kissed her forehead. "As for your past" — he smiled gently — “hell, I've had quite a time myself." He planted a small kiss on the tip of her nose. “And if I ever run into one of your 'gentleman-friends,' well, they'll just know that I'm the lucky one. Because I'll have you for always." His mouth touched hers again and she tasted her own tears. "Isn't that right?"