Lucas just watched her. “I’m guessing Rafe wasn’t on the extermination list? Not if he just waltzed into the FBI office.”
She shook her head. “He’d—he’d never hurt anyone. Always kept a low profile. He’d pulled together his own pack, and he—”
Lucas lifted a hand, stopping her. “Right. Got it. The fucking upstanding citizen came to you because he wanted the killings stopped.”
He really had seemed upstanding, at first.
“How long was it,” Lucas asked. “Before you found out Rafe was behind the kills?”
Too long.
The wild, musky scent of the wolf teased Marie’s nose. She pulled her shawl closer. She was always cold, even in the summer. Death stood too close to her.
She didn’t look back over her shoulder. Just kept staring at the sun. Not so bloody anymore. Almost . . . beautiful. Parts of the world were rather nice to look at.
Others weren’t. She’d seen it all in her ninety-three years. War. Famine. Hope.
Horror.
Time to let it all go.
She began to chant softly, whispering so carefully. She’d learned the words at her mother’s knee. Had passed them down to her darling Carline, only to see her only daughter die at the hands of a vampire.
Vengeance had come.
Vengeance always came.
“Rafe had taken a new wolf into his pack. A guy, barely eighteen, named Sean Walker.” Wide smile, dark eyes—his image flashed before her. He’d seemed so nice, so
normal
, then he’d shifted into a wolf and she’d caught the darkness in his mind. Seen the flash of bodies and the pool of red. “He’d been making the kills.”
“The guy
knew
you were a charmer and he let you close enough to see his thoughts?” Doubt hung heavy in Lucas’s voice.
“Rafe—Rafe brought me in as his companion, he didn’t tell the others—”
His eyes glittered. “That was your cover?”
Being Rafe’s lover.
A lie that had become truth. Her chin lifted. She wouldn’t apologize. She’d made a mistake—like Lucas’s hands were lily-white. “Sean didn’t know,” she said instead. “All of the pack changed around me at some point. Sean—when he shifted,
I knew.
”
“And what did you do?”
Her lashes lowered. “I reported to my boss at the FBI. Special Agent Anthony Miller is the leader of our task force. I told him, and then he told Rafe.” She’d followed the chain of command, thinking it meant something.
But Miller had already known how Rafe would deal with Sean . . .
“Pack justice.”
“Yes.” She hadn’t realized how brutal or how swift it would be. Two wolves, fighting to the death. But no news coverage. No nosey reporters to deal with. Just a quiet end for a murderer—at least, that’s what Anthony had thought he’d get. “Rafe . . . Rafe killed Sean.”
The FBI had believed the murders were over then. Six dead. Peace for the victims, finally.
“Then you and Rafe got close.” She could easily hear the fury underscoring Lucas’s words.
Fury and . . . jealousy.
For a moment, her lashes lowered. Rafe had understood her. Seemed to, anyway. After years of being on the outside, not having anyone who understood other than her grandmother, he’d been a temptation for her.
Sarah forced herself to meet Lucas’s gaze. She’d kept a lot from him, afraid he wouldn’t help her fight Rafe.
Trust has to start somewhere.
She was already in too deep with Lucas. She’d realized that when his blood covered her and his eyes wouldn’t open. The terror had almost choked her.
No going back now.
“I never knew my father. He cut out of town long before I was born. And my mother wasn’t a charmer. Or, if she was, she never found an animal that connected with her. She didn’t like—”
Monsters.
Sarah cleared her throat. She wouldn’t say that because Lucas
wasn’t
a monster. “My mother wanted me to be normal.” Her shoulders lifted, then fell. “The problem was that I never felt normal.” The little house in suburbia hadn’t been her.
“When I was six,” she told him, her voice quiet, “I took a field trip to the zoo.” It had been her first visit to see the animals. So many animals. So many cages. “When the wolves started talking to me, I thought everyone could hear them.” But her friends had laughed at her. Her teacher just said she had a vivid imagination.
And the wolves had kept talking.
Sarah swallowed. “As soon as I got off the bus that afternoon, I told my mom. The wolves had made me feel so good—like they
knew
me. I told my mom,” she said again, “because I was sure she’d believe me.”
The wolves liked me, mommy. I could hear them whispering in my head. They’d—
Her mom had paled as she yanked Sarah away from the bus and away from the other laughing kids.
Don’t ever talk about the wolves again, Sarah! Do you hear me? Don’t mention them, and Dear God, stay away from them.
The floor groaned beneath his feet. “I’m guessing she didn’t believe you.”
“Belief wasn’t the problem. My mom knew about the
Other
, she just wanted her daughter to be normal.” And really, she knew now that her mother hadn’t been asking for so much.
“Normal’s over-rated,” he said, watching her closely. Did he realize how important this was? She’d never told anyone else about her past.
Just Lucas.
You can trust me.
“I couldn’t stay away from the wolves. No, I didn’t
want
to stay away. I snuck back to see them. Stole money from my mom and took one of the city buses back to the zoo.” She’d been terrified the whole trip, but she’d needed to see the wolves once more because echoes of their voices kept playing in her head. They’d been magic, and she’d wanted that magic so badly.
“What did your mother do?”
She blew out a hard sigh. “I scared her to death. I know I did.”
Now.
“She found me there. I was standing in front of the wolves.” She could still remember the cold steel of the metal railing. Her fingers had wrapped around it so tightly as she stared at the three wolves who’d come to talk to her.
Mommy, the wolves like me! They don’t like being here, though, but they like me!
She’d turned to her mom, smiling, not even worrying that her mother would be angry with her for sneaking away.
They say they want to leave. They don’t like it when the people come and watch, they want to run, to—
“When she pulled me away from the wolves, she was crying.” It had been the first time she’d ever seen her mother cry. “Then the wolves started howling, snarling, trying to get out—”
Lucas pulled her against his chest. Just . . . held her and it felt so good. But, then, Lucas had seemed right from that first moment, even when
he
was the one in the cage. “They were trying to defend you.”
“They got tranqed.” She’d never forget their cries as the darts hit them.
Please, mom, stop them! Don’t let the men hurt the wolves. The wolves need me—
Never say that again, Sarah Belle King! Never!
Her mother had run faster. Run so fast as she yanked Sarah away from the wolves.
Screams and howls had followed them as Sarah and her mother ran from the zoo. For months after that, those same screams and howls had filled her nightmares.
Her mother had still been crying when they finally made it out to their old station wagon.
I want the wolves.
She’d whispered that as her mom buckled her into the car with shaking hands.
“After we left . . .” She lifted her head and looked into his eyes. “She said that if I told anyone the wolves talked to me, then someone would come and take me away. She said people would think that I was crazy and that I’d be locked up.”
I’ve seen it before. It’s not happening again.
Her mother’s tearful words.
Stay away from the wolves.
“You weren’t the first charmer in the family,” he guessed, voice gruff, but the hands that held her were so gentle.
“No.” Her lips twisted into a wan smile. “A week later, she took me to visit my grandmother.” Her visit to see Grandma Belle. “Grandma Belle lived in a big hospital. There were bars on all the windows, and guards who watched everyone too closely.”
Do you want to live here?
Her mother’s question. Sarah had been scared of the men in white uniforms. The men who watched Grandma Belle and the others every moment.
Needles, screams—they’d followed her out of the hospital just like the howls of the wolves had followed her from the zoo.
She pulled away from him. Faced Lucas with her chin up. “After that, I didn’t mention wolves to my mother again.”
“The world can be too damn hard on those who are different.”
He would know.
“I pretended to be normal for years.” But she’d never really fit in. “When I was seventeen, my mom died in a car accident. A head-on collision.” So fast, so brutal. The other driver had been drinking. He’d slammed into her mother’s car when she was driving home from work at the diner.
The normal life she’d wanted so badly had killed her—and Sarah had been left alone.
“Is that when you stopped pretending to be normal?” She gave a brief nod. “A few years after that . . .” After bouncing around, living on the streets, struggling to survive, “I was arrested for shoplifting.” The luckiest break she’d ever caught. “But it turns out the cop who caught me wasn’t
normal
either.” That had been the beginning. “He got me straight. Gave me direction, told me that I could make a difference in the world.”
And then he’d introduced her to Anthony Miller, the FBI’s go-to guy for the paranormal.
She licked her lips.
Slipping into the past just sucked.
Too much pain waited there. “When I worked with Rafe . . .” Hell, this had been why she dragged up her past, to make him understand about the other wolf, so there was no stopping now. “He made me feel like I belonged. For the first time, I wasn’t an outsider.” She’d been weak. Ready to fall. “You know what happened after that.”
“When did it end?” he asked, eyes narrowed. “When did you find out—”
“That Rafe was a lying killer?” she finished. “More dead bodies turned up. Only they weren’t found near Fallen. They were discovered one state over. And Rafe made a mistake.” A deadly one. “He shifted in front of me.”
Just once. Rafe learned from his mistakes.
“He shifted and when I touched his mind, I saw the blood.” The man she’d been sleeping with—he was the killer she’d sought. “He ordered Sean and the others to attack humans. It was all his idea. His plan. His big game.”
That’s all it had been. Just a game. A hunting game.
“I think he planned to kill me. I know he did.” Those brown eyes had locked on her and a growl broke from his lips. “He charged at me, but—” She stopped, body tensing.
Lucas caught her chin and tipped her head back. “This where you make your other big confession? Where you tell me that you can’t just read the minds of wolves, but you can control us, too?”
“No need to confess, is there?” He’d had first-hand experience. “Not when you already know.”
“I sure as fuck do.” His jaw clenched. “If it hadn’t been for your little command in my head, Caleb would be dead.”
Because he’d gone right for the other wolf’s throat. “We needed to find out why.” Was Caleb even still alive? “He was so close to you, we needed—”
“
You controlled me
.” He cut across her words. “Controlled Piers.”
Yes.
“Dane?”
She nodded.
His hand fell away. “And what about my brother? He told me he didn’t remember launching at Hayden, just flying through the fucking window.”
She forced her stare to hold his. “I wanted him to take the coyote out.”
Her fault.
She hadn’t thought past the fear. “I didn’t mean . . . Hayden was coming at me, and I just wanted Jordan to help me.”