Never Get a ”Real„ Job

Contents

 

Acknowledgments

 

Foreword

 

Introduction

 

Part One: The Breakdown

 

Chapter 1: Everyone Poops. Yours Isn’t Special

 

College: The Drunken Road to Easy Street

 

Dude, Where’s My Dream Job?

 

Welcome to Your “Real” Job, Mr. Janitor

 

The Broken Promise

 

Chapter 2: No One Cares About You—Unless You
Make
Them Care

 

You Are Not Special

 

Claiming to Be a Winner Does Not Make You One

 

You’re Brilliant . . . So What?

 

Lifestyles of the Poor and Vain

 

Shut Up, Pinocchio

 

Put It on My Tab

 

Chapter 3: Darwin + Murphy = Reality

 

Your Business Is Not the Exception to Any Rule

 

The Worst-Case Scenario Is the Only Scenario

 

No One Will Invest in Your Idea

 

Part Two: Building A Foundation

 

Chapter 4: Get Off Your Ass and Start Up!

 

Get Real with Your Finances

 

Those Who Reinvent the Wheel are Doomed to Be Run Over by It

 

What Do You Know, Anyway?

 

Keep It Simple, Stupid

 

The Bottomless Money Pit

 

Can Your SWOT Team Do CPR?

 

Chapter 5: Business Plans Suck

 

Toss the Old-School Business Plan

 

The One-Paragraph Start-Up Plan

 

Chapter 6: To Partner or Not to Partner

 

The Worst Partners for Your Start-Up

 

Don’t Consider Letting Worthless Flaky People Try out

 

Never Jump Right In: The Water’s Not Fine

 

Part Three: From The Ground Up

 

Chapter 7: Act Like a Start-Up, Stupid

 

Surviving a “Real” Day in the Life

 

Get Your Head in the Game, Chump

 

Design Your Entrepreneurial Life

 

“Mind” Your Business

 

Chapter 8: Shoestrapping (Because the Boot Is Too Damn Expensive)

 

Fake It ’Til You Make It

 

The Only Team Your Money Can Buy

 

Do What Makes Cents

 

Cash Flow or Die!

 

Chapter 9: Those Phones Won’t Ring Themselves

 

Come Out! Come Out! Wherever You Are!

 

Sell Like There’s No Tomorrow—Or There Won’t Be

 

Chapter 10: Facebook Isn’t a Marketing Strategy

 

Message before Platform

 

Think Guerrilla, Not Godzilla

 

Conclusion

 

Index

 

Praise for Never Get A “Real” Job

 

“This kick-ass book will save you from a kiss-ass job. For best results, read it from your cubicle—and then start planning your farewell trip to the boss’s office.”

 


Chris Guillebeau, author of
The Art of Non-Conformity

 

“It’s never too late to become what you could have been . . . this book will get you started!”

 


Elliott Bisnow, founder, Summit Series Conferences

 

“Scott Gerber is a straight shooter who tells it like it is.
Never Get a “Real” Job
is the Gen Y wake-up call. It’s the end of fun and games; time to get a handle on reality. Scott gives solid advice for someone who’s buried the 9-to-5, underemployed, or unemployed. If you aren’t buying this book for your kids, buy it for yourself.”

 


Matt Wilson, cofounder,
Under30CEO.com

 

“If you’re in search of a wake-up call from your disheveled and sedentary lifestyle, read this book. Scott slaps arrogance, ignorance, and mainstream theory directly in the face with dose after dose of real-world practicality.”

 


Gary Whitehill, founder of New York Entrepreneur Week (NYEW) and The Relentless Foundation

 

“Every high school senior should be handed this book along with his or her diploma as they cross the graduation stage. Through a skillfully crafted combination of humor, practical advice, and in-your-face wake-up calls, Scott Gerber makes a rock solid case for why, in today’s world, the old advice of ‘Get good grades, go to college, and get a good job’ is outdated and impractical, and how it’s not just possible, but highly advisable, to
Never Get a “Real” Job
!”

 


Adam Toren, cofounder and CEO,
YoungEntrepreneur.com
; and coauthor of
Kidpreneurs

 

“This book IS NOT for the happily employed, or eager to be employed. If you are, it will either offend you, depress you, or make you want to quit. ‘Be afraid, be very afraid,’ as Scott says here. But, for all those who have an itchy feeling about the idea of taking a job to merely pay the bills, this book is your savior.
Never Get a “Real” Job
totally personifies the wild ride that is entrepreneurship: It’s raw, real, sobering, shocking, making you laugh, cry, curse . . . all while reassuring you that you’d never want to do anything else with your life. It’s a frank, candid, in-your-face, no-holds-barred book for the antiemployment types. And there are plenty of those out there. You may be one of them. If you are,
Never Get a “Real” Job
is definitely for you.”

 


Jennifer Kushell, founder of
YSN.com
, Your Success Network; and author of the
New York Times
best-seller,
Secrets of the Young & Successful

 

“I could never hold a ‘real’ job. If you can’t either, read Scott Gerber’s new book about how to take control of your own future as a small business owner. You won’t always enjoy the ride, but it will be exhilarating!”

 


Barry Moltz, author of
You Need to Be a Little Crazy

 

NEVER GET A “REAL” JOB

 

 

Copyright © 2011 by Scott Gerber. All rights reserved.

 

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.

 

Published simultaneously in Canada.

 

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 646-8600, or on the web at
www.copyright.com
. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at
http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions
.

 

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.

 

For general information on our other products and services or for technical support, please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at (800) 762-2974, outside the United States at (317) 572-3993 or fax (317) 572-4002.

 

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.

 

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:

 

Gerber, Scott, 1983-

 

Never get a “real” job : how to dump your boss, build a business, and not go broke / Scott Gerber.

 

p. cm.

 

ISBN 978–0–470–64386–0 (cloth)

 

ISBN 978–0–470–92547–8 (ebk)

 

ISBN 978–0–470–92548–5 (ebk)

 

ISBN 978–0–470–92549–2 (ebk)

 

1. Entrepreneurship. 2. Self-employed. 3. New business enterprises. 4. Small business. 5. Success in business. I. Title.

 

HB615.G48 2010

 

658.1'1—dc22

 

2010024730

 

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