Never Me (19 page)

“Oh God, I moaned, my head hanging off the hotel bed. My vision centered finally and everything I saw was wrong side up.

“Ellie?” No answer. God, what happened? How did I get back to the hotel? Where the hell was everyone?

Still on the bed with my head hanging, I heard the bathroom door open and a fully naked Spencer coming my way. With my vision wrong side up I could still fully appreciate every single thing I saw. He had a perfect ass, thick muscular thighs, not to mention a delicious distraction I could spend an insane amount of my time on hanging heavy between them. I had to fight to keep from losing my head. My mouth was instantly dry at the site of the perfection he was. I moaned and brought my hand quickly up to my head to play it off as a headache.

“Great job today, Nadine. You could compete with my father as the world’s worst drunk.” I watched him start to dress and wanted to protest. Once he had on boxers, he brought me two ibuprofen and a Gatorade. I pushed the pills away but took a huge drink, the cold liquid soothing my throat. I was either not hungover or still slightly drunk. I was pretty sure it was the latter.

“What did I do? And why are you here? What time…” I looked to the clock and saw it was only seven P.M. Burning the image of his bare ass in my memory, I took a glance at his eyes. They were full of contempt. “Is Ellie okay?”

“What didn’t you do? EIlie is fine and is recovering as runner up. Your bar tab was two hundred dollars. Just yours!”

“I’m sure I paid for it. Right? I’ll take care of it. Look, I don’t need a babysitter and I damn sure don’t need the look you’re giving me right now. We started out friends, we did what we did, now we hate each other and this little excursion is over. I’ll take Rory home now. Have a nice life,” I said, picking up my bag. I turned to grab some clothes and ignored his stare. Shit, I couldn’t remember a thing. I suddenly felt terrible that Spencer had spent time cleaning up after me. I hated myself then, if only for that reason alone. I felt the guilt lodge in my throat and silently prayed my emotions would stay in check. I wanted to turn to apologize, but I kept packing my bag. He jerked the dress I was folding out of my hand.

“Do you ever think about anyone but yourself?”

“Haven’t had to! That’s the whole point. I don’t have to. I can be just as selfish as I want.”

“Well like it or not, princess, you have an entire troop of people to think of until we get back to Pensacola. So take it easy and do us all a favor and be a fucking wallflower for a few days instead of the train wreck you are.”

Remorse quickly turned into anger and I couldn’t hold it in. I threw my Gatorade at him and saw it land all over his fresh white t-shirt and face.

I stood nine feet tall now and made the quick steps to him. “I am NOT going to be a punching bag for you. I am NOT going to apologize for pushing you last night because you were being a total bastard. And I will not ever let you make me feel like this again!” I said, pushing his chest. It was moot, he didn’t budge an inch.

“Nadine,” he said, grabbing a towel and wiping the Gatorade off of him. He was eerily calm … again, like he was this morning. “I don’t want to ruin everyone’s trip because of the stupid shit we did. Let’s just call a truce and call it what it was, a big mistake.”

I had to take a deep breath. I was beyond furious and hurt. “Don’t care. Don’t want to hear your point of view, really. This is why I use men. Their dick matters, not their opinion.” I turned on my heel and felt myself being jerked back onto the mattress.

He was on top of me, his face twisted with anger. “You don’t mean half of what you say. Never do. You have it all figured out, huh? You are clueless, Nadine.” He roamed my breathless chest as he held my wrists down painfully.

“Just stop. You think you’re intimidating me but you’re just pissing me off. I do not like being held down unless I ask for it.”

His eyes flashed as his face twisted further, his gaze bored into mine. He stayed above me, his eyes taking me apart piece by piece. I felt my eyes fill and saw his face soften.

“Did I hurt you last night? Just tell me if I hurt you.”

“I’m over it. I’ve come to expect it. This is why I hate emotions. They’re useless.”

“I meant physically,” he said, his shocked expression telling me everything.

Shit.

“Get off of me,” I whispered, trying to disguise my shaky voice.

“Nadine, please talk to me. Are you telling me you care?”

“Get off of me, Spencer.”

“No, tell me the truth. Let me see you. Just one minute. Just give me thirty fucking seconds. Let me see you.”

“Stop it, please,” I pleaded with him, my eyes spilling as my chest heaved. His wet hair tickled my temple as he held his lips inches from mine and his eyes melted my resolve. I turned my head and was unable to stop the next round of tears from coming.

“Look at me, Nadine. I will never forgive myself for the way I took you last night. Ever. I hate what I did and what I said. I told you I could do better and I tried. But you pushed me so far. God, how I wanted you … and still want you. I’m tired of this shit. No more games. You’re an infuriating pain in the ass, and one I can’t stay away from.”

I gave my eyes to him and let go. I felt the wall come down as I took his lips and exhaled a tearful breath. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. “I want you”, I whispered in between kissing his lips softly. “I don’t want to fight. I want you, too, Spencer.” I quickly realized he wasn’t kissing me back. “Spencer?”

“How do I know you’re telling me the truth, Nadine?”

He was searching my face, my eyes. I couldn’t believe he was unsure of who I was. I was laying it all out for him. I had led him to this point of not trusting me. I had no one to blame but myself.

“Look at me,” I said, fresh water running in a stream down my face. “This is me.”

He covered my mouth with his kiss and we moaned in relief. I was naked in seconds. Spencer sweetly devoured every inch of my flesh as his kiss drifted up and down my body. I met his lips and felt him hard against me as his mouth trailed down over my chest to my naval and ending at my throbbing center. He spread me so gently I was almost surprised when I felt his tongue work in a slow sweet circle. I looked down and saw his eyes hot on my reaction and then turn their attention to my aching. He blew cool air on me and then slid his finger inside and I gasped. “It’s perfect,” he whispered, his eyes fixed on his finger. He made a circle with his tongue and whispered again, “God, it’s perfect.”

He kneeled on the floor and brought my whole lower half to him. I held onto the sheets for dear life as he licked and teased me with his tongue, bringing me to the edge and stopping before I went over.

“Spencer,” I pleaded. He grinned wickedly and diverted his eyes back to my sex. I stared at his long lashes on his cheeks in awe of how beautiful he was as he slid his finger in and urged me on with it.

“Spencer, please, let me come.” When he continued his torture I began begging. Only when I was drawn so tight one more tug of his finger would push me over the edge did he let up.

“Damn you!” I said as I rose off of the bed on my knees, chest heaving, fury evident on my face.

He gave me a heated look and took down his boxers and my mouth watered. I dove for him, shoving his entire length into my mouth and heard him groan. I felt his fingers trail their way down my back as he lifted my ass his way and entered me again with them. I looked up with my mouth full of him to see the appreciation in his face. He was staring at me as I let him thrust inside my mouth while he pulled me closer to the edge with his fingers. I pulled his length out and ordered him beneath me. Once he was covered in a condom, I straddled him and pinned his wrists.

“Don’t touch,” I said, gliding my tongue over his lips. I took the tip of him inside and saw his eyes dilate further.

“Tell me,” I asked sweetly, “what you want?”

“What you do,” he answered.

“That’s not how I do this. I need to know how you want it.”

“Why?” he said curiously, a smile playing on his lips. He took one of his hands away from my grasp. I let another inch of him inside and saw the smile disappear. He licked his index and his thumb and lightly pinched my nipple with them. I almost lost it.

“How … do … you … want … it?” I could barely get the words out. I was close. He stroked the skin over my sex and looked me right in the eye as he placed his thumb over the throbbing.

“I want you,” he whispered, lifting his hips so more of him eased inside.

I slammed myself down onto him, feeling all of him. He ripped his other hand free and brought them to my waist, pressing them down as he moved his hips with mine.

“Oh, God,” I moaned in unison with him.

“It’s so fucking good,” he said, looking up at me with his mouth gaping. Intense, delicious, overwhelming, and absolutely perfect, we were both gone.

“Spencer,” I whispered, my voice shaky. I had lost control and was riding him faster and harder than I even thought possible.

“I’m right here.” His voice led me to the edge and I went over, gasping and bucking like my life depended on it. Then it all went away in a wave of pure ecstasy. I looked him in the eyes as my body shook from my toes to the top of my head. My release and the look on my face seemed to trigger him close to his and he shot up, laying me down beneath him, thrusting and saying my name with each one. I held his eyes briefly, and for the first time ever, closed them when he finished, because he took me with him.

“Nadine?” His voice was distant though he was right above me. I had more than enough going on in my head. “Nadine?” he whispered a little more firmly. “What is it?’ he asked as he trailed his kiss from my chin to my taut nipple. I felt the evidence of him all over me, and I still wanted more.

“Again,” I demanded as his lips left my nipple and formed into the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. I was in no joking mood. “Again,” I demanded as he reached my lips and finally gave me an answer I wanted.

He stroked me roughly from behind over and over, circling his hips and stopped suddenly.

“I’m not going to come, Nadine.” He pulled me to him, my back to his chest and whispered, “I have you senseless, wouldn’t you agree?” He slid his hands between my thighs and I fell apart as another wave hit me. I’d had so many I stopped keeping count. We had been at it all night, or he had. It was the most amazing torture I had ever endured. We turned our phones off, only stopping to shower and even then I wasn’t safe.

He grabbed and squeezed my throat. “You like it rough, we know that,” he whispered to me and I felt my sex clinch around him. He squeezed my throat again in warning. “Let go.” I immediately obeyed.

He pulled his length out of me and walked over to the dresser and cleared it off with the swipe of his hand. He came back to me and picked me up, bringing me over to the dresser and placing me on my knees, bringing my hands up to hold the mirror. I could see me fully naked and Spencer behind.

“Watch,” he said, running his hand up my thigh in between my legs. His touch was so gentle, I ached for more. He clutched my sex with his whole hand and gently circled it, turning in one finger then two, then he spread me so I could see. The level of heat I felt at that moment sent my entire body into flames.

“You see this?” he said, taking my bud in his fingers and running my moisture over it. I let out a moan and closed my eyes. “Open them, baby. See what I see. I want you to see your face when you come.”

He tilted me further toward the mirror as he entered me from behind. I watched him slowly disappear inside and saw his eyes hot on me as he reached around to touch me again. I was on the edge already. Spencer let go of my sex and grabbed my chin, forcing me to look as I fell apart. He picked up his pace, pounding into me as I let the wave go. Taking his thrusts down to almost nothing, I looked into the mirror to catch his eyes.

“Now, you get everything else.” He touched me so softly it brought a small sob to my lips as he slowly slid himself in and out, caressing me with his hands, roving my chest, my nipples. Every part of me was on fire for him.

He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me to him as he looked at me in the mirror, kissing my neck as he made love to me. I could see him perfectly enter me. Every inch of him was perfection. I was full and I was exhausted, beyond exhausted, but would never tire of him.

“Do you like this?” he whispered as he slowly and methodically slid himself in and out of my opening. I moaned as an answer and reached up, thrusting my hands in his hair behind me.

“Beautiful,” he said, studying us and the way we fit together as I took his length and he caressed me, stroked me, loved me.

“Please kiss me,” I begged. He tilted my head and captured my mouth as he slowly pulled himself from me and swept me into his arms back into the bed. He stared at me before he came down on top and I sighed as his mouth found mine again. He entered me slowly and I cried out to him. It was the most comfortable and beautiful sore I had ever felt.

“Again,” I said as his mouth again curved into the new grin I craved.