Never Say Spy (24 page)

“Why did you stay with him so long?”

I laughed.  “Sheer stupidity, as far as I can figure out.”

“Aydan, I know that’s not true.  Really, why?”

“Because I promised!”  The anger in my voice caught me by surprise, and I quickly tucked it away.  When I spoke again, I kept my voice calm and even.  “For better or for worse.  ‘Til death do us part.”

I stood and turned away to escape the memory of all those desperate, unanswered prayers for death.  Old instinct made my tone dispassionate as I wrapped my arms around my aching body and continued.

“Finally, I discovered he’d been cheating on me.  For years.  And I used that as an excuse to divorce him.  So much for the honour of my promise.”

“Aydan, nobody could expect you to stay in a situation like that.”  His voice was forceful behind me.

“I made a vow.  I broke it.”  I shrugged.  “I’m more careful about what I promise these days.  Anyway, it doesn’t matter.  Now you know why I don’t lose control under pressure.”

“And you don’t fear death, but you’re terrified of captivity.  Because you were trapped for so long,” he finished quietly.

I shrugged again and made sure my face was under control before I turned back to the table.  I lowered myself carefully into my chair and sipped at the lukewarm tea.  I could feel his eyes on me, and I steadfastly surveyed the table.

“But he’s the one who broke your vows, not you,” he murmured.  “Didn’t he promise to love, honour, and cherish?”

I sighed.  “John, you needed to know this, so I told you.  But I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“Aydan, I would never use this knowledge to hurt you.  You have my word.”

“Please don’t promise.  Just tell me you’ll do your best.”

“I’ll do my best.”

I drained the last of the cool tea from my mug.  “What are the sleeping arrangements here?”

“We have a couple of bunks,” Kane replied, mercifully accepting the change of topic.  “I’ve made up one of the lower ones for you.  This way.”  He stood.  “Oh, here’s your bag, too,” he said, handing it to me.

I rose stiffly, and we headed back down the hallway again, past the bathroom to the door of a small room containing two bunk beds.

“You’ll have this to yourself tonight,” he said.

“I thought you said you were staying the night, too.  Is there another room?”

“I’ll just nap in a chair down here tonight,” he replied.  “I need to be close to the action.”

I shrugged.  “Don’t feel you have to take the chair on my account.  Take the other bed if you want.  Just be forewarned, sometimes I snore.”

He laughed as he turned to leave.  “Duly noted.”

I went back to the bathroom and rinsed out my workout clothes.  Most of the stains had soaked out of my bra, and I scrubbed until it was presentable and then hung it up along with my other things.  I took off my jeans and did my best to clean the stains out of them, too, before padding barefoot back to the little bunkroom, enveloped in Kane’s big T-shirt.

I crept into the bunk and tried to find a position that didn’t strain my sore stomach.  Once under the covers I drifted, dozing and jerking awake.  Each time I dropped off, bullets cracked past my head or I fell helplessly, my hands bound.  Finally, my over-tired subconscious gave up, and I fell deeply asleep.

Opening my eyes in the dark room, I spotted a bulky shape by the door.  It moved quietly toward my bed while I lay motionless, straining to see.  The big, black-clad man pounced, his vicious grip shooting pain through my wrist.  He yanked it up to secure it to the bedpost with a nylon tie.  His weight pinned me as he seized my other wrist, jerking it up to the opposite post.  His teeth gleamed in a savage grin.  I kicked and thrashed, but he was too strong.  He crushed me onto the bed while I screamed and screamed…

I bolted upright, the last scream ripping my throat as Kane burst into the bunkroom.

“Aydan!”  He slid to his knees beside my bed, close, but not touching me.  “Aydan.  You’re safe.  It was just a dream,” he said urgently.

I stared blindly at him, still disoriented.  A big black-clad man kneeling beside my bed.  But not touching me.  I clasped my bruised wrists against my aching stomach, panting.  Gradually, reality separated itself from the dream, and I focused on my surroundings.

“Aydan,” Kane repeated.  “You had a bad dream, but you’re safe.  Don’t be afraid.”

I shook off the last of the dream.  “Sorry,” I croaked.  “Shit.  I’m fine.”  I forced a shaky laugh.  “I warned you about the snoring but not about the screaming.  Sorry.”

He sat back on his heels.  “It’s all right.  You’re entitled to some bad dreams.”  He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  “You scared the hell out of me.  I’d turned off the surveillance camera in the room to give you some privacy, but I was watching all the other monitors.  I couldn’t imagine what could have happened.”

“Sorry,” I repeated, thoroughly embarrassed.  “Better turn the camera back on.  Then if it happens again, you can just ignore me.  I always wake up pretty quick once the screaming starts.  And anyway, I usually don’t do it more than once a night.  I should shut up for the rest of the night now.”

He searched my face in the half-light from the open door.  “You don’t have anything to be embarrassed about.  You went through a horrific experience tonight, and you never flinched.  You have to allow yourself to deal with it somehow.”

I concentrated on picking a few motes of lint off the blanket.  “I prefer to deal with it privately, though, not by having a public meltdown and giving everybody heart failure.”

Kane touched my hand.  “I’m not public.  I didn’t have heart failure.  And you have nothing to be ashamed of.”  He sat on the other bunk.  “Go back to sleep.  I’ll sit with you a while.”

“Don’t bother.  I’ll be fine.  I’ll feel safe knowing you’re watching the monitors.”

He paused, his expression unreadable in the shadow.  “Remember the conversation we had about letting your team take care of you?”

I blew out a half-laugh, half-sigh.  “Thanks, but it actually kind of creeps me out if people watch me while I’m sleeping.”

“All right,” he said quietly.  “Just call if you change your mind.”

“Thanks,” I said again, and he left, closing the door behind him.

I eased myself back down on the bed.  God, how humiliating.

I squirmed a bit before giving a mental shrug and letting it go.  It couldn’t be helped.  He’d seen me freak out in the network simulation a couple of days ago, so it should be old news to him.  I just hoped I wouldn’t embarrass myself again when Germain came on duty.

I woke confused in the darkened room.  As the events of the night seeped back into my memory, I tried to sit up and let out an involuntary grunt when my bruised stomach muscles contracted.  I carefully swivelled my feet around onto the floor and stood, holding onto the bunk bed while I gradually straightened and stretched my complaining body.

I shuffled to the door and squinted into the bright light of the corridor before padding toward the bathroom, yawning.  When I turned the corner, I came face to face with tall, blond Wheeler.  I let out an involuntary yelp and backpedalled, and he quickly put out his hands to steady me, his face creased with concern.

“Are you okay?” he asked anxiously.

I gave him a smile.  “I’m fine, how are you feeling?”

He stared at the floor.  “I feel terrible.  Webb told me what they did to you... what happened last night.  I’m sorry.  It was my fault.”

Behind his back, Germain appeared from the direction of the meeting room.  I caught his eye and gave him a tiny headshake, and he faded back the way he had come.

“It wasn’t your fault at all.”  I touched Wheeler’s arm, and he met my eyes hesitantly.  “You couldn’t have done anything differently,” I assured him.  “And Spider was just upset last night because I had a nosebleed and it scared him.  I’m fine.  Just minor bruises and scratches.”

Wheeler didn’t look convinced.  “You’re forgetting I was at the hospital when they brought you in.  I saw the nurse’s face.  I don’t think Webb was exaggerating.”

“They just freaked out because there was a bunch of blood on my face.  That’s all.  If there’d been anything seriously wrong with me, they’d have kept me at the hospital.  You were in worse shape than I was.”

He searched my face.  “Thanks for saying that.  But I still feel terrible.”

“Hey, it wasn’t your fault.  Shit happens.  Don’t worry, everything’s fine.”

“Thanks.”  He gave me a half-hearted smile and continued down the hallway.

Germain poked his head around the corner again as I arrived at the bathroom door.  He gestured for me to wait as he came down the corridor, giving me a quick once-over with his observant gaze.  “You look better this morning.”

I grinned at him.  “That’s not much of a compliment.  I looked like shit last night.”

His eyes crinkled.  “Oh, so you’re fishing for compliments this morning.  All right.”  He swept me a deep bow.  “Milady, your radiant beauty astounds me…”

“Yeah, yeah.”  I laughed and turned for the bathroom.

He stopped me with an outstretched hand.  “Thanks for being kind to Wheeler.  And Webb last night,” he said seriously.

I shrugged.  “They’re making a mountain out of a molehill.”

“They’re thinking of what might have happened.”

I met his eyes.  “If I spent my life being horrified at what might have happened, I’d be a basket case by now.  I don’t suppose there’s any toothpaste in your luxurious bunker.”

He followed my clumsy segue gracefully.  “Check in the bottom drawer.  There are usually some new toothbrushes and toothpaste in there.”  He smiled and walked away.

I locked myself in the bathroom and followed his advice.  Sure enough, there were a couple of toothbrushes still in their packages and a tube of toothpaste.  Thank heaven for well-equipped spies.

When I consulted the mirror, I was pleased to see that Germain was right.  I did look better.  The red marks were gone from my face and my nose was almost back to normal.  My eyes were shadowed, but I couldn’t tell whether it was bruising or just tiredness.  My hair was curling wildly, and I pulled my brush through it with little effect.  The bruises looked no worse, and some of the scratches had faded.

When I emerged into the windowless corridor my heart lurched into a quicker rhythm.  Buried underground.  No daylight.  No air…

I sucked in a deep breath and eased it out slowly, willing away the twitchy urge to flee.  Not trapped.  I knew where the exits were.  I could get out.  I was okay.

Not trapped.

I held the mantra determinedly in my mind and forced my shaking legs into a decisive stride toward the work area.

Germain and Wheeler were working at a computer with their heads together, so I went on into the kitchenette, hoping to find something edible to distract me.  The fridge held nothing but pop and juice, so I selected an apple juice and made my way back to the meeting table.

I had just eased into a chair and opened my juice when Spider came in, carrying a paper bag along with his ever-present laptop.

“’Morning, Spider,” I greeted him, holding my voice steady.

“Good morning.”  He stared at me.  “You changed your hair.”

I forced a laugh.  “I slept on it wet.  Aydan Kelly’s School of Hairstyling.”

He laughed, too.  “I brought you something.”  He placed the bag in front of me.

I gazed up at him inquiringly as I opened it.  Then I gasped with delight.  “Spider, you’re a prince among men!”  I reached in and extracted a toasted bagel, yogurt, and a fruit cup.  Tension eased out of my shoulders at the homey smell of hot peanut butter.

Spider beamed back at me, and Germain glanced over with a grin.  “There she goes again,” he teased.  “Now we all know the way to your heart.”

I spoke around a soothing mouthful of bagel and peanut butter.  “I admit it.  I’m a pushover.  Bring me food, and my heart is yours.”

Kane came through the door as I spoke the last sentence.  His short hair was rumpled and his chin was shadowed with stubble, making him look thoroughly delicious.  I concentrated on my breakfast while he strode down the hall to the kitchenette and returned with a mug of coffee.

He dropped into a chair, leaning back and scrubbing his hands over his face and through his hair.  He swallowed a slug of coffee before he spoke, his deep voice husky from lack of sleep.

“What’s new, Germain?” he inquired, and I enjoyed his morning voice with a secret shiver.

“Exterior cleanup is done at the warehouse.  They’re still working on the interior.  They bagged eight bodies, no IDs yet.  Captured six others, and get this.  They found Eugene Mercer tied up in one of the rooms.  He must have been taken yesterday late afternoon or evening.  He’d been beaten and drugged.  He’s in the hospital, apparently with some unusual reaction to the drugs.  He’s not coherent yet.”

Germain hesitated, eyeing Kane.  “Interesting thing about the bodies.  All your usual tidy work.  But two of them, the slugs matched that cannon Aydan was shooting when we got to the parking lot last night.”

I froze, watching Kane.  Germain’s sharp eyes observed us both, waiting.

Kane took his time replying.  “Last night, I forced Aydan to take on a role that she didn’t want.  She saved both our lives.  I take full responsibility for giving the order.”

There was a short silence while three pairs of eyes appraised me.  Then Germain cracked a smile.  “Nice shooting, Aydan.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled.

Spider was wide-eyed.  “You shot two people?”

I studied my lap so I wouldn’t have to see the monster reflected in his eyes.  “Yeah.”

“Good.”  His voice was firm.  I glanced up, surprised.  “They deserved it,” he said.

I gave him a half-smile.  “Thanks.”

Germain’s phone rang, and he picked up and listened for a few minutes.  “Good,” he said.  “I’ll get Webb on it.”  He hung up.  “Got some IDs coming through now.”

Spider nodded and opened his laptop.

I spoke up tentatively.  “Is there any chance I could go back to the warehouse today?”

“Why?”  Kane eyed me with curiosity.

“There was something weird about that network.  I want to see if I can figure out why my access was so sporadic.”

Kane considered for a moment.  “I’d prefer to keep you here where it’s safe until Webb has a chance to do some analysis.  We still don’t know what we’re up against.  But on the flip side, if you can figure out something about the network, we’ll gain important information that way, too.”

“The cleanup crew and some of JTF2 are still at the warehouse,” Germain offered.  “It should be pretty well protected.  If the three of us escort Aydan over there, she should be safe.”

“That’s what we thought last night, too,” Wheeler mumbled.

Kane finished off his coffee.  “Aydan, are you sure you want to take the risk?”

“I really want to know.  The sooner we figure this out, the sooner I’ll be safe.”  I gave him a pleading look.

“All right, let’s do it,” he agreed.  “Here’s how it’s going to happen…”