Authors: Julie Blair
“Like you said, you’re helping me through my empty-nest woes.” Carla could already feel Jamie’s absence. She was tempted to ask if she had time for a cup of coffee but there was no point in dragging it out. She was always going to lose Jamie to another woman. As they walked to the parking lot, they talked about their progress on the embezzlement—safe ground and the only part of Jamie’s life Carla would ever be part of.
*
Jamie set candles on the table on either side of the bouquet of flowers she’d bought on the way home. They’d make up for not spending the day together. It was quality not quantity, after all.
Jamie was fixing the salad dressing when Sheryl came in holding several shopping bags. “Looks like you had fun.”
“Lots of sales.” Sheryl’s eyes were bright. “I don’t know why you don’t like shopping.”
Maybe she just didn’t like shopping for clothes. She’d enjoyed the afternoon looking at furniture. “What do you think about new bedroom furniture?”
“I like what we have. You’re not going to believe the sweater I got. Yummy,” Sheryl said, drawing out the word and pulling the sweater out of the bag.
Jamie stared. Burgundy. She started to laugh.
“What’s so funny?”
“That’s the color of my new office furniture.”
“Good taste.”
Jamie laughed harder at the ridiculousness of her situation. If Sheryl knew who’d picked out the furniture she’d be furious.
“Nothing like shopping to lift my spirits.” Sheryl wrapped her arm around Jamie’s waist and kissed her.
“Me, too.” Jamie deepened the kiss. This would all work out. It had to.
Jamie hung her jacket in the break-room closet. They were fully into fall—her favorite time of year. Cool mornings perfect for running and warm afternoons that made her want to stretch out on a chaise by the pool and read. Coffee was still dripping into the pot, which meant Carla hadn’t been here long. She liked the company. Maybe there was one bright spot in this mess. She’d found an office manager who was everything Mary had been for her father. Now if she could just figure out how to keep her after the embezzlement was sorted out.
“Good morning.” Jamie set Carla’s hummingbird mug on her desk.
Carla mouthed, “Just a minute.” It sounded like she was talking to Lissa, and her voice was strained. “No, you’re not bothering me. I want you to call me any time you need to talk. It’s a change for all of us… Yes, your father and I still love each other.”
Jamie stood at the front counter and studied the reception area, trying to visualize what it would look like with the new furniture they’d ordered. After twenty years the office needed the update, but a part of her felt funny about it, as if she were erasing her father’s presence.
Looking through her appointment book she smiled at the gap in tomorrow’s schedule marked “softball practice” in Carla’s handwriting, as if it had as much importance as the patients before and after it. Now that it was part of her Saturday schedule, she wasn’t giving it back. Even after joining her father’s practice she’d been determined to play and coach. She didn’t regret taking over the clinic. She’d wanted her father to be proud of her. Maybe Penni was right that it wasn’t too late to reconnect with the things she loved.
“Have fun with your dad this weekend…I love you, too.”
“How’s Lissa?”
“On our roller coaster of crying and laughing, she’s on the crying end this morning.” Carla pulled a Kleenex from her sweater pocket and dabbed at her eyes.
Jamie squeezed her shoulder. “I’d say she’s doing remarkably well. Anything I can do for you?”
“No. But thanks for asking. It helps that you know. We still haven’t told any of our friends.” Carla looked up and smiled, but it was a sad smile. “It’s one thing to talk about changing your life but another to do it.”
“I admire your courage.” Carla’s eyes filled with pain Jamie rarely saw. Her fingers played over the rim of her mug and Jamie started to reach for her hand. The back door opened and she pulled back. Sara and Don walked toward their office, discussing a new treatment for frozen shoulder.
“Hand me my half?” Jamie pointed to the stack of patient files on the file cabinet.
“With the forensic accountant working on it you don’t need to push so hard.”
“I let it happen.”
“Have you heard from your attorney about where things stand with the DA?”
“Nope. But when I talked to him last week he agreed with you that what we’ve found should get me out of trouble with the state board.”
“Did you tell him my idea for leveraging the insurance companies into dropping the fraud charges?”
“He said he should have thought of it.”
“Money will win, Jamie. They won’t want to pay for all the services you didn’t bill for but legally could have. You should be out from under this soon.”
“I hope.” It was hard not to believe in Carla’s optimism.
Jamie smiled at the Ziploc bag full of cookies sitting in the middle of the new desk. Carla. Melissa’s voice came from the iPod behind her. Carla. Yes, she could get used to being taken care of. As she slid into her new chair she noticed the pink envelope under the bag with her name written in distinctive left-handed script. Carla again. She slid her index finger under the flap and pulled out the card, laughing at the sepia-toned picture of two little girls holding hands on a swing. “I’m glad we’re back in each other’s lives. C.” She set the card next to her father’s picture and opened the Ziploc. Sticking her nose inside, she inhaled the buttery, sugary smell.
“Most people prefer to eat them, but if you have a cookie-sniffing fetish, be my guest.”
Jamie pulled a cookie out of the bag. Stuffing the whole thing in her mouth she made exaggerated chewing motions, moaning the whole time. She held the bag out to Carla.
“I put some in the break room so those are all yours. I’ll be up front if you need me.”
Jamie snuck into her office for several more cookies throughout the morning. In fact the whole staff was wiping cookie crumbs off their faces. Carla had even set a plate on the front counter for patients. So many ways Carla took care of people.
Jamie looked up from her desk when Carla walked into her office and said, “Lunch is ready. We’re having—”
“Lasagna. It was one of my favorite meals when I was a kid.”
“You peeked. And your attorney’s on the phone.”
“Okay. I’ll be there in a minute.” Jamie picked up the phone. “Pete. Please give me some good news. Did you hear from the state board?”
“Not yet, but I’m sure the evidence we sent them will prove you didn’t know what Marjorie was doing. The DA’s office called this morning. They want to meet with us Monday.” Jamie stared at Carla’s card, trying to ignore the anxiety and fear that were combining in her gut.
“Do they want us to bring anything?”
“No. And don’t worry, Jamie. I’m sure it’s good news. I’ll swing by your office and pick you up about noon. Have a good weekend.”
Jamie twirled her pen and stared at her father’s picture. The new pewter frame set off his silver-gray hair, and she tried to draw strength from his confident expression.
“Everything all right?” Carla asked from the doorway.
“The DA wants to see me Monday.”
“I’m sure it’s good news.”
“You’re probably right.” Jamie got up from her chair and set a smile on her face. Her mom always said to expect the best and ignore the worst. “I love my new chair.” Jamie sat back down and then stood up again. It felt great not to fight her way out of it. “I love the whole room, Carla.” The dark paneling was gone, replaced with Sheetrock and a fresh coat of creamy yellow paint that lightened the room and blended well with the burgundies and golds. The ugly Oriental rug was gone.
“It suits you. I’m glad you brought these in.” Carla straightened one of the botanical prints on the wall.
“Me, too. My mom loved collecting them, and I remember them on the walls of her bedroom.” It felt good to look around her office and see reminders of her mom.
*
“We’ll see you next month. Good luck with the new job.” Carla locked the front door behind the young man who was still in his white chef jacket. She straightened up the reception area and then finished entering the day’s billings. Taking the bouquet to the break room she snipped off the stems and put them back in fresh water, pulling a few of the pink roses up higher in the center.
She was stalling and she knew it. Leaving at the end of the day always felt like pulling herself away from a favorite movie. Tonight the fantasy of music and being swept into Jamie’s arms was painfully strong. Maybe it was her birthday bearing down on her—the first one in her new life. At least she’d spend part of it with Jamie. The Sunday-morning runs had become the cornerstone of her weekends.
Carla gathered her things and stopped at Jamie’s office on her way out. She was leaning back in her chair, eyes closed, an open patient file on the desk. Maybe by this time next week this ordeal would be over. The knot she’d felt when Jamie told her about the meeting with the DA wound itself into her stomach again. She had a bad feeling about this whole mess. She’d spent so much time retracing Marjorie’s tracks she felt she knew the woman. She’d been devious and incredibly daring to do so much right under Jamie’s nose. It was also odd that she hadn’t altered billings for any of the associate doctors. It felt personal against Jamie.
“I’ll see you in the morning.”
Jamie opened her eyes and motioned for Carla to come in. “Got your usual Friday-night date?”
“Dinner with Vanessa.” One of Melissa’s early songs was playing, and Carla wanted to pull Jamie out of her chair and dance with her.
“Seeing a lot of her,” Jamie said, as she leafed through the file.
“She’s fun to be with.” Carla forced all the frustration of her feelings for Jamie behind a smile. For all that she valued their friendship, there were things she’d never be able to talk to her about. Like why she found herself physically attracted to Vanessa when she knew she was still in love with Jamie. She wanted to fall in love with Vanessa. She wanted to have her feelings for Jamie replaced, but her heart wasn’t cooperating.
“Have you considered dating other women? You’re kind of new to this and…well, you wouldn’t want to get tied down until you’re sure you’ve found the right person.”
Carla ignored the stab of jealousy that made her feel childish. The right person wasn’t available. “I had coffee with a woman from the book club I joined.” The date with the college professor was intellectually enjoyable but lacked sparks. Carla sighed as disappointment settled around her. For all the dating and joining groups and meeting new people, her life wasn’t moving forward. “Mike wants me to go on Internet dating sites.”
“You’ll find someone. It takes time.”
“I guess.” Carla stood and pulled the outer petals off some of the roses, freshening the bouquet. “I want more than I had with Mike. I want to fall in love.” Carla’s throat tightened in a rush of longing. “Heart pounding, body tingling, doodling her name in the margins, can’t wait to kiss her…” She pulled herself back to reality, unable to look at Jamie for fear her expression would give away her feelings. “Enough dating talk. I should get going. Like the earrings, by the way.”
Jamie fingered the diamond studs. “I hope so. You helped me pick them out. I always wanted my ears pierced.”
“You should keep doing the things you always wanted to do.”
“Careful what you encourage. I went through a phase in college when I wanted to buy a Harley and just take off.” Jamie moved her hands as if revving the engine.
“That doesn’t seem like you.” Carla’s mouth went dry when her mind created an image of Jamie in tight leather pants and one of those jackets with all the zippers. And a tight white tank top under it.
“I was lost for a long time after my mom died.”
“She’d be proud of what you’ve done with your life.”
“Would she?” Jamie looked sad. “Enjoy your evening.”
Carla couldn’t say what she wanted, couldn’t comfort Jamie the way she wanted. She walked to her car, her body tingling in all the right places but for the wrong woman. Her mind was clear on the boundaries but her body had missed the memo. At this rate she’d be married to her vibrator for the rest of her life. She groaned in frustration.
*
Jamie was barely inside her front door when Sheryl shoved an envelope under her nose. “It says they’re putting a lien on our house.”
“You opened my mail?” Jamie snatched the envelope from her.
“How could you let this happen?” Red blotches on her cheeks marred Sheryl’s usually flawless skin.
Jamie sat down hard at the dining-room table and read the letter from the IRS. “I knew I was being audited but—”
“You didn’t tell me?” Sheryl’s voice was close to a screech.
“I’m handling it, Sheryl.” Jamie surged to her feet, furious with Marjorie and the IRS and Sheryl and anyone within two miles. “You don’t want to know anything about my business problems.” She stormed to the liquor cabinet.
“It’s not just your business.” Sheryl’s angry voice followed her. “You’ve put our home at risk.”
Jamie sloshed Glenlivet into the tumbler and drank half of it. She rubbed the back of her neck. The muscles were bunching into what would soon be a headache. Would she ever have her life back?
“What are you going to do about this?”
Jamie banged the glass down on the cabinet and marched to the bedroom, unbuttoning her shirt, Sheryl close behind. “Tonight? Not a goddamn thing. I’m going to sit in the hot tub and—” Jamie stopped. Overnight bags were on the bed. “What are those?” Her heart clenched. Was Sheryl leaving her?
“I told you I had a seminar this weekend.”
“You did? I guess I—”
“You’re forgetting a lot lately,” Sheryl said, sarcasm topping the anger. She reached for the bags.
Jamie grabbed her hand. “Don’t go tonight. Please.” Tears filled her eyes. “I’ll make it all right. I promise.” Jamie flinched at the cold look in Sheryl’s eyes. Not a speck of understanding warmed them.
“You’ve been saying that for months, Jamie. I trusted you,” Sheryl hissed as she yanked her hand away. The bags banged against the doorframe as she stalked out.