New Beginnings (107 page)

I groaned at my own reflection in the mirror. “What the hell do you call this?” I asked, gesturing to my tight black dress and sky-high heels.

“That is sexy, classy. There’s definitely a difference.” Pointing at my reflection in the mirror, she said, “Look at the way that smoky shadow makes your blue eyes pop and that pale pink lip gloss practically screams kiss me.”

“What if I don’t want him to kiss me?” I asked, sucking in my stomach as I turned to the side. I didn’t have a paunch left, but old habits were hard to break.

“Trust me, you’ll want him to kiss you.” Molly winked. “He’s hot.”

“If he’s so hot, why aren’t you going out with him?”

Molly was recently divorced with no kids and nothing to keep her out of the dating pool, except for the fact she was too picky, claiming most men our age had to be retrained and were often more trouble than they were worth.

I consulted my watch when the doorbell rang. “Kyle’s not due for another fifteen minutes. That must be Ryker picking up the kids.”

“Go and answer it,” Molly said in a stage whisper. “Let him see how hot you look.”

“No! I don’t want him to know I’m dating.”

“Why the hell not?” Molly demanded. “He’s dating.”

She had a point. Before I could decide for myself, Zane stuck his head in the half-open door. “Holy shit, where are you going dressed like that?”

Feeling even more self-conscious, I frowned. “Language,” I muttered, knowing that was a lost cause. “What’s wrong? You don’t like it?”

Molly giggled. “No teenager likes it when their mom looks hot.”

“She’s right,” Zane muttered. “Uh, Dad wants to talk to you before he leaves. Something about next weekend.”

“Tell him I’ll be right there.” I knew I had to show my face now, but I needed a minute to steel my courage first. “Oh God,” I said, turning to face Molly. “I really don’t want to do this. He’s going to ask why I’m all dressed up, and I’m going to have to admit I’m dating again.”

“Good.” Molly grinned. “Let him know he’s not the only one out having a good time.”

The thought of Ryker out having a good time with some hot blonde propelled me forward. “Let’s get this over with. I may need a glass of wine before Kyle gets here.”

***

Ryker

“What the hell?”

They were Cole’s words, but I echoed the sentiment. “Uh, you look great, Mac. Special occasion?”

“She has a date,” Molly said in a sing-song voice. “Doesn’t she look amazing, Ryker?”

A date?
My gut clenched as I gripped the doorknob behind me. My wife was going out with another man and I was supposed to be fine with it?
Hell no.
“Guys, why don’t you throw your stuff in the car?” I said, gesturing to their backpacks. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Bye, guys,” Mac said, leaning in to hug them both. “Have fun with your dad this weekend.”

I caught a whiff of her perfume, something flowery and unfamiliar. I hated it. It reminded me how much she’d changed in the past six months. She’d become someone I didn’t even recognize. I couldn’t deny she was smokin’ hot, but the fact that she’d made all these changes to lure in another man made me feel nauseated.

“Bye, Mom,” Zane said. “Have fun tonight.”

“Yeah,” Cole said, eyeing her dress and high heels. “But, uh, not too much fun, okay?”

Mac laughed, impressing the hard-on I’d been sporting since I caught sight of her. Thankfully the light was dim in the foyer and I was wearing black jeans, so hopefully it wouldn’t be obvious.

“You have a date?” I said, clenching my teeth as my eyes travelled over her toned body.

I’d seen her in leggings and tunics every time I came to pick up the boys, so even though Zane mentioned she’d been working out with a trainer and had lost some weight, I had no idea she’d been hiding
this
body. She hadn’t even been this tiny, this taut, when we met.

“I do,” she said, smoothing a hand over her hip. “You think I look okay? This dress isn’t too much, is it? I mean, you know, from a guy’s perspective.”

I curled my lip, practically growling as I spit out, “I’d say if anything, it’s too little.”

Molly giggled. “Somebody’s jealous.”

I glared at my wife’s best friend. “A little privacy would be nice.”

“I’ll open that bottle of wine, Mac,” she said, grinning at me. “Kyle should be here soon.”

“Kyle?” I asked, closing my fists at my sides. “Who the hell is Kyle?”

“He’s a friend of Molly’s,” she said, running a hand through her freshly styled hair.

God, she looked gorgeous. This Kyle was going to be tripping all over himself trying to get close to her. And I was completely helpless to stop it. Which I hated. I’d been trying to give her space to find herself, and I had to admit she did seem happier, but I didn’t want some other guy to be the reason.

“A friend of Molly’s?” I repeated. “That’s supposed to make me feel better?” Molly was a bit of a wild child, always looking to lead Mac astray.

“Ryker, we’re separated, remember? We have been for six months. We’re both free to date other people.”

I should have known Molly would have told her about the blonde I’d been out with last week. One of my brothers fixed us up and it was a train wreck from start to finish, mainly because I didn’t want to be there and she could tell.

Before I could argue the point, the doorbell rang. I turned to see some dude with dark-blond hair wearing a black suit and carrying a bouquet of flowers. Flowers? Seriously? How much worse could this get?

“Oh, that must be my date,” Mac said, pushing past me. “God, he’s early. Ryker, shouldn’t you be going? The kids are waiting for you in the car.”

“I’m not going anywhere until I meet him.” I didn’t know why I was torturing myself. Maybe I was hoping he’d be intimidated and back the hell off.

Mac cursed softly, glaring at me over her shoulder, before she opened the screen door and forced a smile. “You must be Kyle. It’s so nice to meet you.”

“Oh wow,” he said. “Molly said you were pretty, but I didn’t expect you to be so… incredible.”

I was going to kill this little bastard.

Mac laughed lightly, taking the flowers he offered. “Thank you. Um, Kyle, this is my ex—”

“Her husband,” I said, thrusting out my hand. “Ryker Steele.”

“Your husband?” he asked, shooting a glance at Mac.

“We’re separated,” Mac said, glaring at me. “He’s just here to pick up our kids for the weekend.”

“Oh.” He seemed relieved until I gripped his hand hard enough to make him wince. He withdrew his hand, flexing it at his side. “If you guys need a few more minutes, I can wait in the car. I know I’m early.”

“Good idea,” I said.

At the same time, Mac said, “That’s not necessary. Ryker was just leaving.”

“I need to talk to you about next weekend.”

“We can talk about it when you drop the kids off Sunday afternoon,” she said, touching my forearm with a warning smile. “Okay?”

Before I could respond, Molly came out of the kitchen, wine glass in hand. “Oh hey, Kyle. I didn’t know you were here.” She walked up to him, lifting her cheek for a kiss. “Nice to see you.”

“I didn’t know you’d be here,” Kyle said. “Had I known, I would have brought you flowers for setting me up with…” He cleared his throat when he caught my eye.

“Why are you here?” I asked Molly. “Shouldn’t you be home, grading papers or something?” Molly was a first grade teacher, not that you’d know it to look at her. There was nothing demure about her.

“It’s Friday night,” she said, rolling her eyes at me. “I have all weekend to work. Besides, I teach first grade. It’s not like I have to grade algebra tests.”

“Doesn’t answer my question,” I said. “Why are you here?”

“Why is it any of your business?” she asked, taking a sip of her wine. “You don’t live here anymore, Ryker.”

I’d always had that kind of relationship with Molly. Antagonistic. She thought I was trying to stifle Mac, and I thought she was trying to corrupt her. Push and pull. Push and pull. Only it seemed Molly had come out the winner in the tug of war because her relationship with Mac hadn’t changed while mine most definitely had.

“You look familiar,” Kyle said, tipping his head as he looked at me. “Where have I seen you before?”

“Probably on TV,” Molly supplied. “He has a bunch of clients with reality shows. Sometimes he makes guest appearances to deliver their bikes.”

“That’s right,” he said, snapping his fingers. “Ryker Steele. Steele Custom Choppers, right?”

“Give the man a gold star.” I saw Mac shooting dirty looks at me, but I didn’t care.

“Ryker,” Mac said finally, grabbing the sleeve of my leather jacket. “You’re leaving now. Good night.”

She ushered me outside and was about to slam the door in my face when I tugged on her hand, pulling her hard against my chest. “You look amazing, but it’ll be wasted on him. You should be going out with me instead.”

“Ryker,” she said, tipping her head back, “don’t do this. Please.”

I know she thought I was playing a game, trying to lure her in just because I didn’t want someone else to have her. But that couldn’t have been further from the truth. I’d never stopped wanting her, and I knew if I didn’t find a way to prove it to her soon, she’d find someone else and make our separation legal and permanent.

I closed the door, giving us some privacy. Fortunately, we were shielded from my Escalade in the driveway, so the boys wouldn’t witness our exchange and start asking questions I couldn’t answer.

“This is killing me,” I whispered, grazing Mac’s cheek with mine. “Watching you go out with someone else. It’s wrong.” I gripped her waist. “Can’t you see that, Mac? We belong together.”

“If you believed that, you wouldn’t have been out with another woman.”

Damn it. I knew that would come back to bite me. I was going to kill Nex when I saw him. “That was a one-time thing. I don’t plan to see her again. Ever.”

“Well maybe I won’t be seeing Kyle again,” she said, her voice soft, her back to the door. “I don’t know. What I do know is that I need to figure things out for myself. Since we split, I’ve changed. And I like who I’m becoming.”

“Do you think I would try to prevent you from changing or growing?” I asked, my frustration mounting. This was the first time since I’d left that we’d talked about our relationship. We’d kept it cordial, always about the boys, never about us. “I want you to be happy. I’d do anything to make you happy.”

She hugged me for the first time in forever, and I never wanted to let her go.

“I know you do, but I don’t know if we can make each other happy anymore. Maybe we’ve just grown too far apart, lost too much ground.”

“I don’t believe that.” The irony wasn’t lost on me. The reason our marriage had ended was because we’d lost the intimacy. Now I wanted nothing more than to drag her into our bedroom and make love to her until she never wanted me to leave. That’s when
it
hit me, nearly bringing me to my knees. “You can’t sleep with another man in our bed.” I held her face in my hands. “Promise me you won’t.” Now that she had the weekends to herself and was back in the dating game, anything was possible.

She wrapped her hands around mine, trying to tug them away. “It’s not our bed, it’s mine, and you don’t have the right to tell me what to do anymore.”

“What the hell are you saying?” I asked, feeling my panic collide with rage. “That you’d let another man screw you in the bed you shared with me?”

“This isn’t fair,” she said, her voice breaking as she stepped back. “I’m trying to move on with my life, and you won’t let me.”

“Because I don’t want you to!”

Cole must have heard me shouting because he opened the door and said, “Come on, Dad. We’re gonna miss the game.”

“Just go,” Mac said, gesturing toward the truck. “Go. Have fun with your sons. Don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself.”

I wanted to grab her, haul her against my chest, wrap my arms around her, and refuse to let go until she admitted she was still in love with me, but I knew this wasn’t the time or place, so I said, “About next weekend…”

“What about it?” she asked, turning to face me with her hand on the door.

“Zane has his belt ceremony next weekend. I know he’d like us both to be there.”

“Of course I’ll be there,” Mac said, looking affronted. “I’m his mother.”

“I thought it would be nice if we could go out for dinner to celebrate, you know, as a family. I think it would mean a lot to him.”
To me too.

“Um…” She looked uncertain but finally said, “Sure, that would be nice. We can talk more about it when you drop the boys off. Have a nice weekend.”

I didn’t tell her to enjoy her evening because I was hoping she wouldn’t. I knew it was petty, but I wanted her to have such a miserable time she wouldn’t even want to consider dating again.

When I got in the truck, Cole was in the front seat, playing games on his iPad, and Zane was in the back, listening to his iPod with earbuds.

“So that’s the guy she’s going out with?” Cole asked. “Looked like a douche. I don’t think you have anything to worry about, Dad.”

I snickered at my son’s description of Mac’s date. She would have reprimanded him for using foul language, but I thought his description was appropriate under the circumstances. “I’m not worried,” I said, buckling my seatbelt.

“You’re not worried because you know he’s not a threat or you don’t care that Mom’s dating again?” Cole asked.

I hadn’t talked to the boys about where things stood since I moved out. Mainly because there was no good news to report, but I wanted them to know I wasn’t giving up on putting our family back together again.

“I care,” I said, backing out of the driveway as I rolled my eyes at the late-model Ford Focus parked beside me. “I’ll always care about your mother. You know that.”

“That’s not what I mean.” Cole flipped his iPad over, stretching his long legs out in front of him. “I mean, does it bother you that she’s out with some other dude tonight?”

“Do you think it should?” I smirked at my son. “You saw him, right? You think I should be worried?”