New Forever (22 page)

He takes both beers from me and puts them on the coffee table alongside the scrapbook. He grabs my hand and drags me down so that I’m sitting on his lap. After moving my hair out of my face, he kisses both my cheeks and then my nose.

“Don’t pretend to get all shy on me. I know you better than that,” he whispers into my ear and I feel myself shiver when his breath makes contact with my skin.

“I made a scrapbook,” I tell him, trying to brush off the sudden bout of shyness I’m encountering. He’s right, I’m not shy, but this is important and I’m afraid he’ll laugh it off.

Still sitting on his lap, I reach for the scrapbook and open it. Max inhales a big breath through his teeth when he sees the first picture—the one of Hannah and me dressed as clowns. I turn around slightly and kiss the side of his mouth.

“It’s okay,” I try to reassure him, although my heart is beating erratically in my chest. “I want you to know Hannah the way I knew her. I want us to remember her the way she’d want to be remembered. Not through tears and grief, but through her random acts of silliness.”

“So, she was silly too?”

Knowing Max, I know it’s taken a great deal of effort but I feel his body relax beneath mine when he rests his chin on my left shoulder. I point to her in the picture and he traces his finger over her then me, much like I had done earlier.

“Sillier.” I scrunch up my nose. “She was the bad one always up to no good.”

“Somehow I doubt you didn’t have some sort role in all the no good stuff she did.”

I smirk back at him and quickly go through the pages until I reach the picture of us wearing too much make up and dressed in clothes twelve year olds shouldn’t be allowed to wear.

“Hannah was curious about the male anatomy.” I giggle, remembering that night. It could have gone so badly, but thankfully there are still good people in this world. “My parents went out to the movies and Hannah and I adjusted our clothes to look a bit more adult-like. We went through my mom’s make up bag and did ourselves up. There was a strip club close to where we lived and once a week they showcased men.”

“Oh God,” Max groans, making me laugh harder. “I don’t think I’ll ever want daughters if you finish this story.”

Undeterred, I continue, “It wasn’t too far of a walk, except my mom’s heels were too big on us and we wound up with huge blisters. But we got there. The look on the bouncer’s face when we walked up to him was priceless.”

“You two looked like prostitutes!” He pinches the side of my stomach and I can feel him shake his head dramatically.

“We looked hot,” I correct him with lightness in my voice and warmth in my heart.

“Ten year old prostitutes.”

“Twelve year old hotties,” I say seriously and Max snorts. Whatever.

“Did you get in?” He kisses my shoulder and I mold my body to his as he flips to the next page.

“No, the bouncer sent us home. People laughed at us!”

“The horror! Having to do the walk of shame at ten.”

“Twelve. When we got home, we didn’t want all of our hard work to be for nothing so we took out my mom’s camera and took pictures of each other. We were still at it when my parents got home. My dad was horrified.”

“Poor man,” Max says sympathetically.

The rest of my body relaxes against Max and I feel a five year old weight begin to lift off my shoulders. This is what Hannah would have wanted, I’m sure of it.

“But my mom thought we looked fantastic and took this picture of the both of us.” I flip back to the picture and stare at it until Max gets my attention by kissing my neck.

“What other horror stories do you have in here?”

I go back to the beginning of the book, and together Max and I create our first united good memory of Hannah. Neither of us feel sorrow or despair as we look through the pictures I’ve posted in the book. There’s only laughter and joy.

That’s the legacy Hannah would want to leave behind.

“Look at you looking all hot and sexy.”

Hayley pinches my ass and then smacks it so I grab her waist and pull her to me so that our bodies are flushed together. She smells amazing and looks even better. I can’t wait for tonight to be over so I can peel the dress off her. With my teeth.

“I’ll show you hot and sexy,” I grunt against her mouth.

Her lips part, welcoming me in, just as Janus comes running into our bedroom and slams into the back of my knees.

“Damn dog,” I grumble, rubbing the back of my knees while Hayley moves away from me to check on Janus.

“He’s still getting his footing when he runs,” she tells me, petting his head while he looks back at her with a satisfied grin.

Bull shit. I go jogging with him every morning and he’s perfectly stable. That was a total cock block move. Apparently, I need to inform him of the man code that forbids this type of behavior.

Although watching Hayley in her tight black dress bend over to comfort Janus is a sight I long to see every day for the rest of my existence.

“Man’s best friend, my ass.”

I walk away from them and wait not so patiently or quietly by the door for Hayley. I love Janus, he’s as much mine as he is Hayley’s, but I’ll be damned if I’m not jealous of all the attention he gets from her while I sit on the sidelines and watch. All he has to do is roll over and within seconds she’s left my side to rub his belly. I roll over and I get a look that tells me just how stupid she thinks I am.

“We’re gonna be late,” I huff out.

Hayley kisses the top of his head one last time before getting back up. “Mommy and Daddy will be back soon.”

Not able to stay mad at him, I go to him and pet his head. “Be a good boy,” I tell him and I’m pretty sure I see him roll his eyes at me before he looks back at Hayley with the same grin as before and wags his tail happily.

We arrive at Dee and Adam’s house just as Dee finishes writing down the number for the police for Josie’s babysitter—you know, the emergency number that begins with nine and ends with a one. Neurotic, much? Adam pulls Dee out the door as Dee blows kisses to a playing Josie and you can visibly see the babysitter exhale a sigh of relief. It’s moments like these that make me realize why Hayley is the only babysitter they’ve been able to keep. And why they don’t have much of a dating or social life.

Hayley and I follow Adam and Dee to a club in Ft. Lauderdale beach while Hayley and Dee text one another. Adam and I will only be at the club for an hour or so before his groomsmen and I pull him away for a real bachelor’s night. It’s his last day as a bachelor and it is our duty to make it memorable.

Waiting outside the club are Adam and Dee’s friends, along with members of Adam’s old band, Wasted Circle. Hell, even Ricky and Amber make an appearance. I look over to Dee to make sure she’s okay with them being there and am not even shocked when she not only smiles at them but embraces them in a welcoming hug.

That’s Dee. She may be neurotic, but she has the most forgiving heart of anyone I’ve ever met. To think only a few years ago Adam was engaged to Amber, who was screwing Ricky on the side. This is the stuff soap operas are made of.

“I can’t stand her,” Hayley whispers in my ear and I know she’s talking about Amber.

“Yeah, well.” I shrug my shoulders and she flips me off so I bite her middle finger while she tries to squirm away from me.

“I’ll cut that pretty face of hers before the night’s over.”

“At least wait until after the wedding,” I suggest and she agrees. It’d be pretty bad manners to cut up one of the bride and groom’s guest before the wedding.

With Hayley on my arm, we follow Adam past the bouncer and head toward a private room in the club. Several glasses of champagne are passed around and after a couple shots of Patron, I am fully consumed by Hayley’s body dancing in front of me with the other girls in our party. I watch her sway her hips side to side while she lifts her arms over her head. Every now and then, she tilts her face upward as if she is soaring freely in the air.

When one of the girls starts dancing behind Hayley with her hands on her waist, a low growl escapes from my throat so I walk to them, not wanting anyone but me to touch her. I subtly move the girl to the side and place my hands on Hayley’s hips while she spins around to put her hands around my neck.

“No need to get jealous,” she teases and I growl again.

“You’re mine,” I say defiantly, and press my lips against hers so that she can’t deny it.

“I am.” She nods. “And not even her nice rack would change that.”

She inches her face closer to mine and licks my lips. I quickly open my mouth and bite her tongue gently making her yelp. Her breath tastes like champagne and again, I lose myself in her, completely captivated by this woman.

My hands move up and down her back as she dances close to my body, her hands around my neck the entire time. My heart beats to the rhythm Hayley sets before me, while my feet and hips try to keep tempo with the music. But it doesn’t matter that I can’t dance. None of it matters. Just the woman in my arms matters.

The journey we’ve taken together has been a sort of dance. We haven’t always known the steps, but have been able to make them up as we go along and make them work for us. We’ve both taken turns leading and following, learning and growing with each step and misstep, only to finally get to the point where we’re dancing in unison. Because that’s what happens when we learn the song in one another’s heart—we unify and become one.

Song after song passes as Hayley and I dance together, forgetting everyone around us. So much so that I am surprised when Adam slaps me on the shoulder, letting me know it’s time for the men to head out. I’m reluctant to leave Hayley, but it’s his big night. I’ll eventually get mine with Hayley and I sure as hell won’t be spending it with a bunch of people, away from her. Not when I want to greet every morning and night with her by my side.

“Take it easy,” I tell her. “If you drink too much, call me or a cab. Just no driving. Got it?” She nods her head seriously and hugs me one last time before we part ways for the night.

Dee isn’t a heavy drinker so I know she’ll watch over Hayley. I know I don’t have to worry, but I do anyway. It’s part of who I am—I overthink and worry. I remind myself that Hayley’s a big girl and her and the other girls have their own private room in the club so there’s no need for them to go out to the club where I can’t protect her. She’ll be fine.

I keep my cell phone close to me as Adam drives us to a skate park he and his best friend, Josh, frequented when they were in high school while the rest of the guys go to another club without their girlfriends or wives. I’m glad we’re not joining them. This feels more important and necessary. I’ve heard plenty of stories about Josh from Dee after he first passed away, but I’ve never heard Adam talk about him. I listen to him now talk about the young boys he and Josh were and how Josh helped Adam become the man he was destined to be. They were brothers, that much is obvious, and it pains me to know Josh won’t be joining him as his best man for his wedding. But he’ll be there, in the hearts of the people he left behind who never stopped loving him.

Just before we get to the park, Adam stops at a gas station for a six-pack of beer and a cigar. Although I’ve had enough to drink, I never turn down a cigar so I buy myself one as well.

The parking lot of the skate park is dark with only a few light posts still working. We approach the chain link fence separating us from the ramps like men on a virtuous mission and climb it with ease. First Adam and then me, so that I can hand him his skateboard and the beer once he’s on the other side. Never having been to a skate park, I follow Adam until he picks up his skateboard and goes up the steps of a ramp, leaving me behind with the beer. Not knowing what else to do, I pop open a bottle with the opener on my key chain and lean back on one of the ramps while Adam skates from one ramp to another. He does some impressive stunts but I don’t say as much since he seems lost in a world I don’t belong to.

Instead, I lean my head back and look up at the stars, rehashing my memory to see if I still remember the placement of the stars I had studied so diligently before I broke up with Hayley, then got back together with her, making my world right again.