Authors: K. Larsen
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***
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Matteo knew Cece would leave with every piece of Gabriel. He never underestimated the things that she would do. That they were doing. He took solace in knowing that in the depths of Gabriel’s despair, the beast would think of them. Spring was cold and damp but soon the boiling heat of summer would be upon them bringing the fiery temperatures of hell. Where Gabriel would rot.
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***
~
1996 - Spain
Matteo and I married today!
It wasn’t at all like my first wedding. It was so much better. Private, intimate, meant only to join two hearts. Shared only between two hearts. Months ago Matteo met a man while we had brunch a beautiful restaurant in town. They’d struck up easy conversation then. Over the months he and Alarico formed a tight bond. And thank God for that. Alarico is a surprisingly well-connected man. Between him and the private investigator we hired to track Gabriel, we’ve managed to give ourselves new identities. Papers, IDs and all. It is because of this I was able to have the most splendid moment with Teo.
The sun shone down on us, heavenly in its glare, while the minister from the local church married us.
I was impossible to ignore a man like my Teo. It was a crime against nature and I knew that with all of my heart. I am the luckiest woman alive. When the minister declared us Mr. and Mrs. Grant we’d shared a look and laughed heartily before he swept me up in a kiss that devoured my very soul. Jezebel and Ahab Grant. They were ludacris names, stolen from history.
It doesn’t matter though; to each other we are Cece and Teo. The world outside us doesn’t really exist. My Teo. My heart is so full. He sleeps so soundly next to me right now as I scribble this memory down. I am content. I am wrapped up in his love so wholly that everything else that eats at me disappears. It is divine.
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***
~
Matteo closed the journal, a smile played on his lips. Hi retrieved a cigarette, lit it and enjoyed the sensation of smoke as it filled his lungs. Their life had been more than just Gabriel and revenge and plotting. Her entries in her journal had over the years become her outlet but the moments they’d shared away from those dark thoughts had been magic.
Their time in Spain had been spent dining, walking and dancing in the small town they resided in. They had long hot nights and lazy mornings. Just after their wedding he’d caught her flipping to a blank page in her journal and furiously scribbling on the page. He’d stilled her hand.
“Teo,” she murmured, placing the pen in the crease of the journal and closing it.“Let me take this fury from you. Let me go and just take care of him, of her.”
“You would lose everything, Teo,” she’d said in a hoarse whisper.
“I don’t care anymore.” He’d leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. She kissed him back angry and hard. “I would lay down my life for you Cece. I would take the weight of it all to make you happy.” She’d stared up at him, her eyes devouring his. He saw the moment she understood the depth of his love for her. Truly understood.
“We will do this together. We will, and we will be free when it ends.”
That particular evening had been fiery and passionate. In sync, they had laid out all their desires and love and fused them together.
Matteo looked around the small home. Cece would hate it. It had no life, no flowers growing from the dirt. He’d yet to clean. He resolved to remedy that tomorrow. The least he could do was make this a place she would love when she finally joined him. Here, together, they would watch Gabriel’s final decimation on the news before going home. Cocooned in this little cabin they would smile and toast and celebrate. Yes, he needed to make the house just right for Cece’s return. Once their masterful illusion was complete she would need a home to return to, even if only temporarily.
June 2014
~ Matteo ~
LYING IN WAIT; (1) a concealment of purpose, (2) a substantial period of watching and waiting for an opportune time to act, and (3) immediately thereafter, a surprise attack on an unsuspecting victim from a position of advantage[.]’ “
“Fiore mio, I’ve missed you so,” he said before scooping his wife into a bear hug. She squealed and squeezed him back tightly. “Tell me, how’ve you been? What’s been going on?” he asked as he set his wife to her feet.
“There is so much to tell! Sit, sit!”
A nasty smile of expectation crept across his face.
Matteo chuckled at her enthusiasm and sat. “She’s let on that her parents are unhappy. So
very
unhappy. I can’t even express how ridiculously happy it makes my heart to hear her speak. They’re terrible Teo! They missed her graduation!”
Matteo stared in disbelief. “That can’t be right. Why?”
“My God Teo, they are so wrapped up in their own stink that they’ve all but forgotten about Belle. It’s almost as if she doesn’t exist in their home. It’s tragic really.”
He shot her a pointed look. “Not too tragic I hope.”
“Very funny stud. No it’s perfect for me. She . . . she loves me I think. Like a . . . mother.” He could tell the word stung her a bit. No doubt because she’d have given anything to have children of her own. It worried him, this bond she was forming with the girl. “I had Mark, the boy she likes, and that friend Madison help me out a little. I gave her a graduation party. You should have seen her eyes Teo. Such gratitude radiating from them. Such love. I swear, this entire situation couldn’t have worked out any better. I’m just . . . over the moon about it all.”
“Cece,” he deadpanned.
“Don’t Cece me,” she cut in and wagged a finger at him. ” I haven’t lost focus on the goal. I’m telling you all this because it feels . . . right. It’s as if the last twenty years we’ve spent dreaming and scheming were leading up to this exact moment.”
“I’m happy if you’re happy,” he answered.
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Cut the shit Teo, what’s going on?”
“I’m . . .” he struggled to find the words he needed to say. He didn’t want to sound weak. He prided himself on always being strong. For her, for them, for survival.
Celeste looked at him. Took him in for a long moment. “You’re lonely.” She tilted her head to the side. “You’re feeling useless.” He felt his brows lift. It had always fascinated him how she could do that. Read him so perfectly. As if they shared some portion of their DNA. He sighed.
“I miss bringing a plant home to you every day. Our walks, watching you in the garden. The ballroom dance lessons. I miss reading aloud together at night. I miss us, Cece.” She stood then strode to him. She sat on his lap and he let his arms wrap around her waist.
“Oh Teo, this must be torture for you. I forget that you are out there alone while I’m in here surrounded by people. Never a dull moment you know. People rambling, fighting to find the right word that they can’t remember to keep a conversation going. I’m so very selfish, although…you do have
real
food out there,” she pointed out the window, “whereas I’m stuck eating preservative-ridden pre-packaged nastiness. So there’s that.”
Matteo laughed. Cece was very particular about the food she ate and this place did not live up to those expectations in the least. He could tell in the way her clothes were a little loser. She had lost just a touch of weight.
“Yes. You have been very selfish. Maybe you need to make it up to me.” He grinned at her.
“You silly man, I plan on making it up to you for the rest of my life.”
~
***
~
Matteo’s visit buoyed his spirits. A lump of cheese dripped to the plate from his breakfast sandwich. Tossing the half-eaten sandwich on his plate he let out a massive sigh. Rain pelted the windows. Matteo missed home. One of their favorite things was to sit on their porch and listen to the rain come down. Revel in the thunderclaps and lightning bolts that lit up the sky.
A deep roll of thunder that vibrated his bones made his thoughts scatter like spiders into the dark corners of his subconscious. The storm was almost here. In just twenty-four hours’ time he would be mailing a letter meant to snap the final cord holding Gabriel and Monique together.
He pulled a cigarette from his pocket. Lit it.
Inhaled.
Exhaled.
~
***
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1998 - JUNE
My head spun. My mind ticked over all the opportunities that I could take or leave in life, so I got up out of bed, dressed and started walking. There was no point in lying stagnant. When I took stock of my surroundings I found myself at the restaurant. That sad place where so many died. The restaurant that serves no more patrons. I walked around and played details back in my head. It was too quiet. The air felt so warm in my lungs. Too warm. Emotions built, one upon the other and part of me just wanted to lie down there, among the ruins of that restaurant—let the building heat and the ghosts take me. I couldn’t though. Darkness makes me aware of the stars. And when those dark hours emerge they still hold a bright and lovely thing. It is in my dreams that I am able to encounter what’s departed my life and look at it. Converse with it. Alter the truth. Twist it and mold it until it suits me.
Gabriel injured my flesh. Memories make me strong. It’s my hell. Shattered. Now I must take time to accept my dark reality. To kill the light inside my soul and lose my identity. My hands are frigid yet my heart hot. It burns with ire. Logic has crushed my spirit. I have nothing to lose. I’m beautiful pain and ugly joy. I do nothing.
No, I’m lying in wait with nothing to do.
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***
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The time was long past for honest men, Matteo thought. Sweet dreams were made from these small moments. Summer swung wide now but the rains that sat on the horizon would wash away the pain of the past and set the two of them free.
Matteo grinned and kept reading.
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***
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2000 - Spain/ Canada
My dreams have taken a new shape. I am the evil lurking. I am the monster hiding in the closet, under the bed, the shadow that follows. Waiting. In my dreams Gabriel looks up at me, pale and grim, pleading. I take no pity. I offer him no mercy.
I carved Teo’s and my initials in the dust with my stiletto heel so someone would know we had been there. That we existed in beauty together. Healed here together. Loved here together. I had pins and needles anticipating what was to come. We’re leaving our Spanish villa. It’s time now.
We’ve located Gabriel.
Her face had been so close to his then that they would have touched noses had he turned his head. He let her read the email from the private investigator. She’d cut her eyes to his and smirked. She had looked so incredibly joyful. He couldn’t resist. His lips found hers. Warmth had flooded him. Cece, his Cece, was so beautiful. So pure. And she was his. They were reckless renegades. A prelude to a shift. Together beginning a new chapter. It had been an exciting time.
Matteo closed the journal, content for the evening. He filled a watering can and watered the plants, all Cece’s favorites, before turning in for the night.
In bed, Matteo pulled the covers up over him. He snatched the empty pillow beside him and clung to it as he drifted into dreams where the past and the future fought to the death.
July 2014
~ Matteo ~
LYING IN WAIT—the act of concealing yourself and lying in wait to attack by surprise
Matteo sealed the letter in the envelope and kicked the trunk of the Volkswagen to quiet the man, not that it mattered. He stuck a stamp to the top left-hand corner then addressed it.
He drove for two hours until he reached a copse of trees far off any beaten path. After putting the car in park he ran a hand through his thick dark hair. He opened the door, swung his legs out and reached in his shirt pocket for a cigarette. He let the unlit smoke dangle between his lips before pushing up onto his feet.
He rounded the back of the car and popped the trunk open. The country club tennis instructor lay tied and squirming. Matteo pulled the syringe from his pocket, uncapped it and squirted a bit out the tip before bending over the man in the trunk and injecting the paralyzing drug into his system. Knowing the man wouldn’t be moving or squealing would make it easier for him to dig the man’s grave. He started shoveling.
Sweat dripped from his forehead and blisters had already formed on his palms. He took a break to enjoy a smoke. He didn’t know what to feel really. Panic? No. Guilt? Only a little. This man was not part of Gabriel’s family but he
did
serve a purpose. Matteo watched the way the hot breeze ruffled the leaves on the trees surrounding him. He tossed the shovel aside and looked over his work. Good enough. He hefted the man into his arms, stood and walked to the grave where he dropped the man in unceremoniously. There was no point in theatrics.
The man stared up at him wild-eyed. A pang of disgust filled Matteo. He didn’t carry a gun. He absolutely wasn’t going to smash the poor man’s head in with a rock or other blunt object - it wasn’t in him. He wasn’t coldhearted. This was a means to an end. If there was a way to put him out of his mercy more humanely he would. But at present, there wasn’t.
Sighing, he picked up the shovel and began tossing the dirt back into the ground being sure to cover the man’s face first. It was unnerving having the man stare up at him. His was a senseless death, to anyone besides Matteo and Celeste. No one would understand it. It wouldn’t be a moment of clarity for the man, he would just continue staring up at Matteo and wondering why. Matteo’s heart raced. His blood thundered in his veins as he scooped dirt and tossed it in quickly. His work didn’t take too take long and Matteo was pleased when he finally dropped the shovel into the trunk of the car. He turned and inspected the site. The ground hardly looked disturbed. Not that it mattered.
Hours.
It had taken hours of his day to complete his task. Matteo stopped at a mailbox and dropped the letter inside before stepping into the convenience store to grab something cold to cool him. By the time he arrived home that night he was bone tired and irritable. Cece had killed before, but she’d had him to come home to when she was a mess. He had no one waiting for him. No one to take the weight off his shoulders - not tonight anyways.
He kicked off his shoes and washed his hands repeatedly. The soil seemed to stain his skin. He wanted the reminder gone. He trudged through the kitchen and into the living room and let himself sink deep into the chair and relax. He reached for Cece’s journal and laid it open in his lap, eager to read her words and imagine her voice. He needed her right now.
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***
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2002 - Canada
We took a trip, Teo and I, to the U.S., and from a very safe distance we watched Gabriel and Monique. My faith lies somewhere between lilies and pews. They have a secret life that they come home to every night.
Matteo is outraged.
How
? he asks. It’s as if karma doesn’t exist. But I don’t know, so I have no words for him.
I want to watch them fall. I want to hear the sound of the break, the sound of all the years they’ve saved up together snapping. Crackling in a fire. How it will burn. They will finally feel the fear, the humility of it all. Twenty years of a golden life of lies, melted down to nothing.
When we arrived back to our rental house we’d wracked our brains. We had so much more direction now that we’d seen them alive and well. We had all the time in the world to plan and execute the way we wanted. There were no limitations for us. Money and time are two things that every devil needs and we have it . . . so much of it.
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***
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The scars of her love left him breathless. Scars never leave. They stick forever. Matteo was content knowing Cece had scarred him. It was something no one could take away. A scar couldn’t be taken back. Their mutual hate, their wounds, their love was all consuming and it burned brighter than a comet. The promise that for Gabriel, death would not end his suffering made their bond that much stronger. He didn’t need to die. He needed to suffer.
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2004 - Canada
We’ve had the most fun. America has so much to offer a traveler. There is so much to see. Matteo and I have been able to travel all over Canada and the U.S. and it has been bliss. We’ve met the most incredible people. Seen jaw-dropping sights and indulged in fabulous food. I feel like we are the two luckiest people. We have each other. We have the means to do whatever we’d like and we share the same mindset. We are so fortunate to be able to take advantage of all these experiences. At night when we’re curled up in bed together, no matter where we are I get the strangest sense that everything has happened exactly the way it was meant to in my life. That the lingering darkness that shrouds me still will eventually explode into shards of light when we’re done.
When
he’s
done. There is no greater suffering than losing everything. So we will not harm Gabriel, physically. We will strip him down bare until there is nothing left of him but his own ruined memories. And then leave him to live with it.
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***
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Matteo closed the journal and his eyes and thought back to their time in Canada. He loved that the happier she grew, the more she embraced her feelings, the shorter her entries became. They’d had friends in the neighborhood where they rented. It had been an exciting time for them. Potlucks and cookouts and festivals and game nights. There always seemed to be noise there. Alive. Writhing. Infecting them with all the world had to offer. Poisoning them with light. Everything in their journey did seem to have a time and place in hindsight. They had fallen into everything exactly when they had needed to.
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***
~
Celeste stood at the window, feet set apart, hands shoved in her pockets, like it was Cece facing the world. Matteo didn’t know what she was thinking; he was afraid to know. When she stood so still, like she did now
, her mind was dangerous.
“Cece,” he called. She turned to him. Her eyes, wide and vulnerable, flitted across his face, each of her breaths coming faster than the one before it. She licked her lips with the tip of her tongue and let out one long, slow blow that made him shudder.
“It’s done.”
He let the words hang out there like laundry drying in the wind. She walked toward him in even, measured strides. Using her fingertips, she followed his jawline, leaving a prickling trail behind. He wiped his thumb across her lower lip. Beyond thought, he leaned forward, lips parted hungrily. Her eyes darted between his mouth and eyes, gauging his expression, reading his desire. It was impossible to think about anything but her mouth on his, how she’d pull him into her arms and they’d burn together, forgetting about everything but the two of them. His body wanted it, his heart needed it, and it was clear hers did too.
They lay side by side in her bed afterwards enjoying their afterglow, reveling in the high of it.
“She is a fool for that boy Mark,” Cece laughed. Delighted really.
Her laughter, as always, sounded like the breeze tickling wind chimes.
“Teo, my love, Monique left. Left the family! It worked. One sad suicide note to her and she crumbled. Finally. How was it? Hard?” Her voice dripped with honey, too sweet for good intentions. He grinned.
“Tedious, but not hard per se.”
Cece snaked her arms around his waist. Lips kissed his bare chest.
“Was it very horrible going home afterward?”
“Without you there?” he asked. Cece nodded. “Yes. It left me alone with my thoughts fiore mio.” She nodded again at him, understanding.
“I love you,” she breathed.
“And I, you. Tell me, how are things going here?”
“Selfies,” she muttered.
“What?”
“Those damn pictures you take of yourself. Selfies. She made me contort my face into utterly ridiculous positions and take pictures with her.”
“Cece, what if she shows them to
him?
”
“Teo, you worry too much. What are the odds of a teenage girl sharing photos on her phone with her father?”
He shrugged. He didn’t know a damned thing about teenage girls besides those whose pants he’d tried to get into decades ago.
“Did you bring the ring?” she asked changing the subject. A sure sign that she was nervous. He couldn’t blame her, they were nearing the finale. A finale twenty years in the making. He lifted his pants from the floor and dug in the pocket until he caught the old engagement ring between his thumb and forefinger and lifted it out. “I did.” It sparkled in the lamp light, the diamond still brilliant. He held it out to her but she remained still, staring at it as if it might grow teeth and bite her. “Cece,” he murmured. Her eyes snapped to his. “It doesn’t mean anything. It holds nothing over you.” Wide-eyed she reached for it and let it sit in her palm.
“I don’t want to look at it,” she whispered. “It was a different life. String it on my necklace for me so I don’t have to look at it.”
Matteo leaned in and kissed her forehead. Cece sat upright. She sighed. He reached around and brushed her silky hair over one shoulder, exposing her graceful neck. Matteo placed a soft kiss to the bare spot before he unclasped the decades-old locket from her neck. She took one end from his hand and dropped the engagement ring onto the chain.
Matteo took the end she held and re-fastened the clasp. “You
are
the key, you know.” His fingers grazed the sensitive skin at the nape of her neck and she shivered. “You are the key to me.” Goosebumps broke out across her skin and he grinned. He let a finger trail her neckline.
“Teo,” she breathed.
“What is it you want fiore mio?” He kissed the shell of her ear. Then just under it. Another kiss followed lower, then another. “Tell me,” he urged.
“You Teo. Always you.” It was all the invitation he needed as he laid his wife backwards onto the bed.
~
***
~
Matteo rode the high from his visit with Cece for the next week. They had lain in bed afterwards for hours talking. Dreaming. Living. Only a month to go and they would be reunited. No clouds lurking above their heads. Free and clear like the ocean tide rolling in and out. Sparkling and beckoning anyone willing to visit it. He’d gone to the dealership and purchased a candy apple red Porsche to pick her up in. Celeste loved convertibles. She laughed and smiled and said that the fresh air did wonders for the soul.
He spent his final days arranging the house just so. He stocked the cabinets with her favorites and made sure a live plant sat on every windowsill. The next time he’d see her would be the last time they’d have to steal mere hours together. Matteo dug the last of the drug out of the case in the closet and set it on the kitchen counter so he wouldn’t forget it. It had been harder than they’d expected to get their hands on it but money seems to do miraculous things. Everyone has a price he’d learned.
Hopping into bed he let himself sink in the too soft mattress. Only five more weeks here and then they would go home. He missed their house. The smell of it. The ocean air, the freedom of the waves, their routine.
He cracked open the journal skipping ahead several entries. He didn’t need her words to relive their happy times.
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***
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2005 - Trip to US
Their life looks so pretty. They are country clubbers. There are kids. Comfortable wealth. Monique and Gabriel have managed to make a sweet little life for themselves. Start anew. It repulses me. But it’s evident in Gabriel’s eyes, even from a watchful distance, that something is missing. That he mourns the loss of his esteemed position perhaps. That this new life isn’t quite enough. If he only knew. It will never be enough. In fact, it will get worse-so much worse.
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***
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2005 - US
We moved! It’s a quaint town just five hours south of
them
. Matteo and I explored the area and simply fell in love. The ocean rushes and the salt hangs in the air. It’s heaven. Two months ago we bought a house. It’s ours and it’s a dream. No more moving. No more renting. We’ve planted roots.
Teo brings me plants for the garden nearly every day. I spend most of my time creating something beautiful for us to enjoy year after year in the future. In the evenings we take quiet walks down the beach nearby. Hand in hand. The level of bliss that consumes me, devours me here, is overwhelming. Teo makes a fire in the pit out back most evenings and we drink and laugh and snuggle. On the nights it rains he picks up a random paperback from the bookcase and beckons me to lay with him as he reads it aloud. If this is a glimpse into our future we are going to be the happiest pair God ever created. We haven’t lost sight of our goal but we’ve had a nice reprieve as of late to simply enjoy each other without anything looming over us. We have new papers. New names. We are Teo and Cece Grant. We’ve been Jezebel and Ahab for so long that we held onto those papers just in case we ever need to go back to Europe.