New World Order (War of the Fae: Book 4) (21 page)

No one answered me back.
 
It was just Tim and me in the room now.
 
Tim and me and a giant pile of nasty looking hair.

“Netter’s going to be cranky,” said Tim.

“I know.
 
What should I do?”

Tim pulled his pants off and threw them across the dresser where they landed precariously on the corner.
 
This was standard procedure for him – seeing how far he could kick them to the edge without having them actually go over.
 
He jumped into his bed, turning instantly onto his side facing away from me.
 
“Dose him up with some chocolate.
 
He’ll never even notice what a mess this place is.”
 
Within seconds of finishing his sentence he was snoring, the sounds of sawing wood echoing around the room.

I slowly opened my top drawer, taking out fresh sleeping clothes and then removing a towel from the lower drawer.
 
I had to have a shower to get all this hair and forest grit off me.
 
Maybe if I made the water hot enough, I could wash off some of the gloom that still clung to me over those stupid emails.

I went into the bathroom expecting to be alone as usual, but the sound of giggles came through the door, just as I was about to push it open.
 
I waited a second, but it went quiet.
 
I knocked a couple times softly to let whoever it was know I was coming in, and then I pushed on the door, slowly.
 
Once it was open all the way, I realized who was making the noise.
 
The twins.
 
Standing there mostly naked, long dark hair and perfectly tanned skin and toned bodies blazing out at me.
 
Oh boy.
 
I stood there, not knowing what to say for a few seconds as they took in my presence and I took in theirs.
 
Then I said, “Sorry to interrupt.
 
I’m just here to take a shower.”

They looked at me and then turned to face each other in unison, which was seriously disturbing since they were identical – it looked like one person was standing in front of a mirror and had turned to look at herself.
 
Then they both swiveled back toward me and I realized for the first time that their eyes were swirling red and black like Spike’s did sometimes.
 
They were deep, deep crimson, quickly changing over to black – the color Spike’s became right before he feasted on a meal of steaming hot fae energy.

I had no chance to move before they were both on me with lightning speed.
 
One second I was standing there, minding my own business; the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of the bathroom with two half-naked succubi about to suck the life out of me.
 
I closed my eyes tightly to block out the image of my impending and somewhat embarrassing demise, begging The Green to come and save me.

“Tell us what happened again.
 
I need to hear it one more time,” said Spike, nearly breathless with wonder and anticipation.

“I’m not going to go over it with you again, you perve.
 
Buy the book.”

“Believe me – if there was one, I’d buy it.”

I smacked him on the arm and resumed eating my bacon.

Finn walked up.
 
“So, I hear there was some excitement in the ladies room last night.”
 
He winked at me and smiled.
 
“Do tell.
 
I have to know the details before Becky gets back.
 
It’ll make her crazy that I knew before her.”

I rolled my eyes.
 
“Do you guys have any idea how pitiful you sound?”

My newly made-over daemon friend joined the table next, obviously having overheard my last statement.
 
“You have to admit, Jayne,” said Scrum, “the whole idea of you wrestling around with two naked succubi is pretty intriguing to any guy.
 
Even Valentine liked the idea.”

“Valentine’s gay.
 
How could he like the idea?
 
And by the way, they weren’t naked.
 
Just barely clothed.
 
There’s a difference.”

“Not in my world,” said Spike, fantasizing out loud.
 

I hit him again, only harder this time.

“Valentine says that he finds joy and pleasure in all forms of sexuality.
 
Beauty is beauty, in whatever form it takes.”

“Since when have you been hanging out with Valentine, Scrum?”

“Oh, not long.
 
He’s giving me relationship tips.”

I choked on my water.
 
“
Gah!
 
Wha ... Valentine?
 
Relationship tips?
 
We’re talking about the same guy, right?
 
Incubus?
 
Sucks the life out of fae?
 
Bites ‘em?
 
That Valentine?”

“Yeah.
 
That’s him.
 
He’s pretty wise, actually.
 
I’ve learned a lot from him.”

I shook my head, my eyebrows nearly up to my hairline.
 
“Well okay.
 
Whatever floats your fucking boat.”

Tony joined us, his plate full of food.
 
“So, Jayne.
 
What’s the scoop?
 
I hear you met the twins.”
 
He kept his face down, acting like he was all interested in his food, but I knew his game.

“You think you’re soooo funny don’t you?”

He put a giant piece of bacon in his mouth and then looked up at me.
 
“Whub?
 
Whub I fay?”

“Ugh.
 
You’re reminding me of Gorm now.
 
Stop.”
 
Our messy buggane was sitting by himself, over in the corner, so busy with his plate of worms he didn’t notice any of us.
 
“Fine, you want to know what happened?
 
I’ll tell you.
 
One more time, Spike, and that’s it.
 
I’d like to forget one of the more humiliating moments of my life, if you don’t mind.”

“What if we do mind?” asked Spike, only half kidding.

“Next time?
 
The ears?
 
They’re coming off.”

Spike laughed.
 
“Oh, trust me.
 
There will be no next time for me at Jayne’s House of Horrors ... I mean Jayne’s House of Hair.”
 
He smiled, proud of himself.

I smiled back in spite of my crankiness.
 
“Your hair looks fine.
 
I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure.
 
After two spells and I don’t know how many gallons of disgusting witch’s brew.”

“I tried to warn you.”

“Warn me harder next time.”

“So anyway.
 
The twins,” I said, anxious to get it over with.

All ears were glued on my every word.
 
All I could think, looking at them, is how pathetic guys are sometimes – slaves to their ding-a-lings, every single one of them.

“I went to take a shower and they were in there, in the middle of getting dressed.”

Spike interrupted me.
 
“Say ‘undressed’ not ‘dressed’.”
 
His eyes were closed.

“Fine.
 
They were in the middle of getting
undressed
... ”

“How far undressed are we talkin’ about?” asked Finn, his eyes starting to glaze over.

“Listen, idiots, stop interrupting or I’m not going to tell you the rest.”

Spike gave Finn an evil glare and Finn gave him the stink-eye back.
 
Once they were settled down I started again.

“I said ‘hi’ or something equally innocent and they took one look at each other and then jumped me.”

“They jumped her!” squealed Spike, inadvertently grabbing Finn’s arm.
 

Finn punched him in the shoulder.
 
“Get off me, man.”

Spike turned back to me, gesturing for me to keep talking with flapping hands.
 
He was totally channeling Valentine in that moment and I had to smile, laughing at him and feeling sorry for him at the same time.

“I ended up on the bathroom floor with them standing over me and licking their chops ... so I called out to The Green to help me.
 
Next thing I knew there was this intense green light all over the place, a couple of screaming, cranky succubi, a few choice cuss words and then silence.
 
I opened my eyes, which were then blurry, and found myself alone in the bathroom, my stuff spread out all over the floor.
 
I had to rinse my toothbrush for like ten minutes before I felt comfortable using it.
 
It was gross.”

“Did they ... ” Scrum swallowed hard, “touch you ... anywhere.”

I punched him hard on the arm.
 
“No questions allowed, perve.
 
Storytime is over.”
 
I stood up to go, my appetite gone.
 
“I’m going to check emails.
 
Tony, are you coming?”

“Sure.
 
Where’s Tim by the way?”

“He’s sleeping in.
 
Apparently my personal trauma kept him up, and he needs his beauty rest.”

“Oh.
 
Okay.
 
It’ll just be you and me then.”

I smiled.
 
“Like old times.”

He smiled back.
 
“Yeah.
 
Like the good old days. Before we were fae.”

“Yeah.
 
Before I had any girl-on-girl in the bathroom action.”

Tony laughed at that.
 
“Traumatized, eh?”

“Seriously, Tony.
 
Those bitches were hardcore.
 
They were going to eat me, but only after sucking me into a dried up husk-of-a-fae.
 
I’m afraid of what they’re going to do to Spike.
 
I hope he has Valentine with him when he meets them for the first time.”

“Don’t worry about Spike,” said Tony as we walked down the hall, “I have a feeling he can fend for himself.”

We reached the computer room and fired up our accounts.
 
I had a reply but he didn’t.
 

“My email went out a lot later than yours.
 
Maybe I’ll get an answer later.
 
What does yours say?”

I clicked on the link and started reading out loud.

Jayne.
 
Its Rick.
 
Your moms reel bad.
 
She had an accident.
 
You need to get hear soon.
 
I dont know how long shes gonna last.
 
Shes asking for you.
 
Come quick.
 
Before its to late.

“Idiot.
 
Can’t even fucking spell.”

“Jayne, this is serious.”

“I know.”
 
I started wringing my hands, freaking out.
 
I turned away from the screen to look at Tony.
 
“What do you think I should do?
 
Should I try to call her first?
 
Should I just go?
 
Who should go with me?”

“Let’s go talk to Dardennes, right now.”
 
Tony clicked out of his account and shut the computer down.
 
“Come on.”
 
He held out his hand to me.

I logged off and stood up, taking Tony’s warm hand in mine.
 
I didn’t let it go the entire way to Dardennes’ office.
 
I fought back the tears that threatened to come, thinking about my mom having been in an accident.
 
I’d be willing to bet my trusty weapon, Blackie, that any
accident
my mom may have suffered was at the hands of Rick.
 
He was just that type of guy.
 
And if he’d hurt my mom, he was going to pay.
 
I was just the girl to make him, too.

Tony knocked three times and then pushed open the door.
 
Dardennes was sitting at his desk, joined by Céline who sat next to him.
 
They both had dinner plates in front of them and were going over some documents laid in front of them.

“Good evening, changelings.
 
What brings you back to my office so soon?
 
More emails?”

“Yes,” said Tony, getting right down to business, as we stopped in front of Dardennes’ desk.
 
“Actually, just Jayne received one.
 
This time it was from her ... uh ... step-father.”

I gritted my teeth together, nearly growling out,
“Don’t
call him that.
 
He’s my mother’s loser husband.”