Authors: Marianne Mancusi
Two weeks later Lulu was released from rehab and Dad threw a party to celebrate her recovery and my new job. Cindi decorated
the yard with brightly colored balloons and streamers and Dad fired up the grill. Lulu and her friends hung out by the back
wall, chattering about college applications and boys (not necessarily in that order) while Jodi and I hung out on the swings,
sipping homemade margaritas. Cindi waddle over (she was getting quite big) with a heaping tray of cookies and coerced us to
eat more than our share. She really was growing on me, now that I’d taken the time to get to know her a little better. She
was smart and funny and sweet; it was no wonder my dad was crazy about her. Sure, it was still weird to consider someone so
much younger than me as my stepmom, but they so obviously adored each other, it was hard to object.
“Hey, where’s the party?” The back door swung open and, to my surprise, Mom stepped through. She was wearing a bright yellow
sundress and looked tanned and healthy. Lulu bounced off the wall and ran to hug her. I waited until they were done, then
gave her a squeeze myself. Dad greeted her cheerfully and even Cindi shook her hand hello. I could tell Mom still wasn’t quite
sure about the whole Cindi situation, but she was doing her best to remain pleasant for the family’s sake.
We ate at the picnic table, chattering throughout the meal about the future. I told everyone about my new job and my new apartment
in LA. Lulu chattered about rehab and all the celebrities she’d met there. And, under Mom’s own urging, Cindi shyly gave us
an update on the baby. It was a girl and they were going to call her Sarah, after Cindi’s grandmother.
It was weird, for sure. But it was also kind of nice.
After dinner Mom took me aside, leading me into the house. We sat down on the sofa.
“So you’re okay with all of this?” I asked. “I mean, all of us hanging out together?”
“It’s not my favorite thing in the world to see your dad with someone else, ” Mom admitted. “But he seems really happy. And
I’m glad about that. The two of us were miserable for so long.”
“What about you, though? Are you happy?”
“You know what, Maddy? I am. I really am.” She smiled. “In the last month I’ve had more adventures than I’ve had in a lifetime.
I’ve traveled the world. Tried new things. Met new people. And that never would have happened if your dad didn’t leave.” She
shook her head. “Believe me, I’m still angry as hell over what he did. But at the same time, in a strange way, I’m grateful.
My life is good now. I’m stronger and more self-reliant and I’m starting to live for me for the first time ever. And that
never would have happened if I stayed in my loveless marriage.”
“I’m glad you’re having fun, Mom, ” I said, giving her a hug.
“But enough about me, ” she said. “What about you? You’ve gotten the job you always wanted, but for some reason you don’t
seem happy.”
She always had been perceptive.
“You’re right, ” I admitted.
“Why is that?”
“Well, right around the time you left, this new guy came to work at News Nine . . .” I started from the beginning and told
her the whole sordid tale, leaving out, of course, the one-night stand and accidental Ecstasy in the desert parts. There were
some things you didn’t ever share with your mother, even if she was suddenly all liberated and stuff.
I ended with Jen’s pregnancy. “He says it won’t change things between us, but I don’t see how that could be the case.”
“That’s a tough one, ” my mother mused. “Does he want to be part of the child’s life?”
“Yes. Unfortunately.”
“
Not
unfortunately, ” Mom scolded. “Maddy, that’s a good sign. He lives up to his responsibilities. Would you rather he be the
type that runs away? A deadbeat dad?”
“I guess not.”
“You know, Maddy. The world is changing. Families are being redefined. Look at us tonight, for goodness sake. And I believe
if you find someone you truly love, you shouldn’t let a little conflict get in the way.”
“But this isn’t like he has some mole on his left shoulder. It’s eighteen years of responsibility.”
“I’m not saying it will be easy. But worthwhile things hardly ever are, ” she said gently. “And oftentimes true love requires
sacrifice. Do you really love him?”
“Oh yes, ” I said, my composure crumbling and tears bursting from my eyes. I’d been so strong for so long. Built up the wall
and tried to tell myself I didn’t care. But life without Jamie had a big empty hole in it, and it was slowly sucking the joy
away. “I love him so much.”
“And do you believe he loves you?”
I thought about it for a moment then nodded. No matter what happened physically between him and Jen on that last night they
were together, I was sure of his feelings for me. “Yes.”
My mom shrugged. “Then to me it seems pretty obvious what you should do.”
And suddenly it seemed pretty obvious to me, too. “I’ve got to go, Mom, ” I said, rising to my feet. “I’ll talk to you later.”
She smiled. “Good luck, sweetie. Good luck!”
I broke every speed limit in San Diego driving to Jamie’s apartment. When I got there, I couldn’t find a parking spot and
ended up double parking. I ran to the door and rang the bell, praying he’d be there. Praying he wasn’t too mad at my ongoing
stupidity and would listen to what I had to say.
“Maddy?”
The door opened and suddenly Jamie stood before me, dressed in low-slung dark blue jeans and tight white t-shirt. His beautiful
green eyes looked hollow, circled in dark black, and it appeared he hadn’t shaven in days. It gave him a rough, almost dangerous
and unbearable sexy look that warmed something low in my belly.
“Jamie, ” I said. Now that I was here, I didn’t know what to say.
“You haven’t returned my calls, ” he said. The comment was matter of fact. Not judgmental. But I felt more than a squirm of
guilt anyway.
“I’ve been . . . busy.” How lame did that sound? How untrue. But what was I supposed to say?
“I’ve heard. Thank God your sister’s okay.” He shifted from foot to foot. “And I guess congratulations are in order, huh?
On your new job.”
“Thanks, ” I said, wondering who’d told him. Wondering what he thought about it. “How’s the baby?” I asked.
He winced a little. “Jen and I went to the doctor today. They claim everything’s in order.”
“That’s . . . good, ” I managed to say, feeling sick to my stomach all over again. As much as I loved him, it was still going
to take some time to get used to the idea of him becoming, a dad. Just like with my own father’s new baby.
“Yeah, ” he said simply, staring down at me without elaborating. I could see a million questions swirling behind his eyes,
but knew he was afraid to push me. He raked a hand through his hair, and I remembered running my own fingers through those
soft locks, breathing in the soapy scent of shampoo and aftershave.
“I can’t take this anymore, Maddy, ” he said at last, his voice worn and hoarse. “I haven’t slept in days. I’ve barely eaten.
I feel sick all of the time. I’ve tried to stay away, give you space, but I’m at my wits’ end.”
I stared down at the ground. “I know. I’ve felt similar.”
“What can I do to make you see I love you?” he asked, his tone more than a little frustrated. “I know this situation is awkward,
but it doesn’t have to be over between us. Why can’t you see that? What we had was so special. Like nothing I’ve ever experienced
before. And damn it, I’m not going to let you throw it all away.”
“But what about Jen and the baby?” I asked, needing to be clear. “They’ll need you.”
“Yes. You’re right.” He nodded. “My baby will need a father. And Jen will likely need some financial and emotional support.
I won’t neglect my responsibility. I will love my child and be there for him or her no matter what. But that doesn’t change
anything between Jen and me. We haven’t gotten back together.”
“But you could, ” I protested. “Once the baby is born, you could.” And that was the real reason, I suddenly realized, that
I was resisting so much. I couldn’t bear the idea that I could lose him at a moment’s notice. That I could hand him my heart,
only to have it crushed a few months down the road.
“No. That’s impossible.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m in love with someone else, ” he said simply, his words piercing at my heart. “Someone wonderful.”
He looked down at me with love-filled eyes, and it took every ounce of Jedi mind control not to throw myself into his arms
right then and there.
“This person you love, ” I said slowly. “What is she like?”
I could hear the smile in his voice, even as it sounded like he was holding back tears. “She’s very smart for one thing. And
she cares more about the truth than getting ahead. She’s a loyal sister and daughter, even when she doesn’t feel like it.
She is a bit afraid of motorcycles but is brave enough to ride anyway. She loves to dance to eighties music and has all of
Depeche Mode’s bootlegs. And she’s convinced John Hughes is a better director than Fredrico Fellini.”
“Well, I’m sure this Fellini guy has his strong points, too, but you got to admit, Sixteen Candles is a tough act to follow.”
Jamie laughed, dropping his hands to my waist and pulling me close. “This girl I love, she makes me laugh and she makes me
cry. She’s my muse. She encourages me to follow my dreams.” He dropped his mouth to my ear. “I got a new agent, ” he whispered.
“And he’s very excited about the manuscript proposal I sent him.”
“Oh my God!” I looked up at him, bursting with pride. “That’s so awesome! Congratulations.”
He looked down on me with loving eyes rimmed with tears. “I couldn’t have done any of this without you, you know.”
I dropped my eyes to the ground. I didn’t know what to do. He took my chin in his hand and tilted my head to look back at
him.
“I know I’m asking a lot, ” he said earnestly. “I know it’ll be hard at times. But I will do anything to ensure that things
work out between us. Anything.”
“But . . .” My mind was blanking with all the practical reasons I knew I should be resisting more. “But I’m moving to LA.
I can’t stay here, you know.”
“I’d never ask you to, ” Jamie said, sounding astonished that I’d think he would. “But I called some buddies at my old production
company. They just won a contract with an LA-based reality show—–Who Wants to Marry a Movie Star.’ It’s at least six months
of shooting work.”
“And after that?”
“I’ll find something else, ” he said sincerely. “I’ll make it work—whatever it takes.”
“But I don’t want you to rearrange your whole life . . . because of me—”
“Don’t you get it?” he asked, shaking his head. “I don’t care. It’s worth it.
You’re
worth it.”
My heart fluttered at his words. He thought I was worth it. No one had ever said those words to me before. No one ever made
sacrifices like this for me before. And now it was my turn to make a sacrifice for him. To trust him. Believe him. Give him
a chance.
“You mean that?” I asked, my one last question before accepting the idea that perhaps all my dreams really could come true.
“With all my heart.” He pressed a hand to his chest to emphasize his point.
“Well . . .” I realized my whole body was trembling as I made my decision. “I guess we could . . . you know, give it a try.”
His face lit into a bright smile and his whole body seemed to sag with relief at my words. Then, he threw his arms around
me and pulled me close. I rejoiced in his familiar scent tickling my nose. I’d missed this. I’d missed him.
“You won’t regret this, ” he murmured in my ear. “I won’t let you down. I love you, Madeline Madison.”
“I love you, too, Jamie Hayes.”
And then he kissed me. And somehow, as he pressed his lips against mine, sending my pulse racing in the way that only he could
do, I realized he could be right. This could actually work.
And hell, if not, I guess I could always pitch a “True Love That Kills” piece at the next
Newsline
story meeting.
It’d probably get great ratings.
MOONGAZER
“An enthralling combination of
The Matrix
and
Snow Crash
with a bit of
Blade Runner
thrown into the mix,
Moongazer
immediately draws the reader into one woman’s terrifying struggle to understand her identity’is she Skye Brown, a successful
game designer living in Manhattan or is she really Mariah Quinn, a woman haunted by the postapocalyptic dreamland she escapes
to every night? But what is reality? And who can she trust to find out the truth?”
—
SF Scope
“Dreams, reality and virtual reality collide in Mancusi’s exciting and frightening new futuristic thriller. Complex plot threads
weave around intense emotions and give real punch to this chilling tale.”
—
RT BOOKreviews
“
Moongazer
is an amazingly innovative novel for the romance genre, and one that will have lots of allure for a broad range of readers.
Even if you don’t normally read SF/fantasy romance books, you will want to pick up this one. I found it a thrilling, page-turning
yarn, and I highly recommend it.”
—Romance Reader at Heart
“The plot is well-written and the twists and turns keep readers guessing.”
—Romance Reviews Today
MANCUSI!
WHAT, NO ROSES?
“A romance that’s fast, funny and as bubbly as bathtub champagne… Mancusi’s witty, tongue-in-cheek remarks and sprightly dialogue
make for a joy ride of a read with an ending that’s as surprising as it is original.”
—
RT BOOKreviews
“Humorous and sexy.”
—
Booklist
“Slapstick, sarcastic, silly, and downright laugh-out-loud funny,
What, No Roses?
is Ms. Mancusi’s second foray into the genre and it’s just as entertaining and hilarious as her first,
A Connecticut
Fashionista in King Arthur’s Court
.…
What, No Roses?
is a hoot! For a great summer beach read, don’t miss it!”
—Romance Reviews Today
A CONNECTICUT FASHIONISTA
IN KING ARTHUR’S COURT
“Sassy…a cute hoot…Talented author Mancusi clearly knows her Arthurian lore.”
—
RT BOOKreviews
“A sparkling debut…a nice twist on the modern girl’s search for prince charming.”
—
Publishers Weekly
“This is not your mother’s Camelot!! Spicy romance, hilarious thrills, and a heroine who kicks butt in her stilettos’this
book is a definite keeper.”
—Alesia Holliday, author of
American Idle
“Marianne Mancusi’s debut is super-snappy, pure fun, fast-paced, and even educational’in more ways than one!”
—Melissa Senate, author of
See Jane Date
“Fun, fashion, foul play, and fearless knights. Marianne Mancusi’s fresh take on the Arthurian legend is a winner!”
—Michelle Cunnah, award-winning author of
32AA