Next August (17 page)

She’s on the phone with her parents when I walk in. “I’ll come home as soon as I can, Daddy. And yes, I will thank August for you for saving me. I love you, too.” She hangs up.” Momma was crying so hard she couldn’t even speak to me.”

“I wanted to be with you when you told them.” I sit down beside her.

“I wanted the time to myself with them.” She rubs the back of my hand.

“The doctor says I can go home today.”

“I’ll make all the arrangements. And make sure that Stella is stocked up on all your favorites.”

“How are
you
? Really?” She stares into my eyes.

“Don’t worry about me. You know I always have a plan. Today I have to worry about dad’s body. I have to start planning his funeral.”

She frowns at me.” You don’t seem sad.”

“The man I remember as my dad has been gone a long time.”

“Is it okay that I am sad for the both of you?”

“Of course,” I say, and smile. “If being sad for us makes you happy, go ahead.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Nashville

August spends the next week or so in Seattle, smoothing things over with his board, employees, and clients. I’m alone a lot. My body is healing, but it will take longer for my mind to catch up with it.

I finally got the nerve to go back into Tom’s room. August had everything cleaned out, so there’s nothing but a box of personal stuff on the bed. The funeral was short and private and held in Seattle. I didn’t attend, because I just didn’t feel up to it. August didn’t mind. He’s been so businesslike about the whole thing. It’s just hard for me to understand, being that I’m so close to my parents. He’s been distant with everyone, even Stella. Even me. I know it will take some adjustment to get back to normal. I wish there was some way I could hurry it up.

The journal is in the box, so I take it. I gave it to him in the first place, and he never used it. So it seems like it should be mine.

I have to get out of the house, so I go to Sam and Claire’s for dinner. Sam told me several funny stories about his escapades with August.

He’s walking on his own and has been spending time with people his own age. He gets a phone call and excuses himself to take it.

“Maybe a girl,” says Claire. “His confidence is growing every day.”

“August would love seeing him doing so well.”

“It’s all thanks to August that Sam even has a chance at a normal life.” She scoots closer to me. “Whatever his father did, August made up for it.”

“I know, it’s just sad because his father really did love him. August didn’t get to see it. Sometimes I think he didn’t want to see it. It was easier to hate him than try to forgive him.”

“That relationship was very complicated for August. He’s a complicated person.”

“I don’t know if I can ever fit in his world.” The words are painful, but I have to say them.

“What are you talking about? You’re the best thing that has ever happened to him.” Sam is back, and he sits beside me on the couch.” He fell in love with you the minute he laid eyes on you. I’ve never seen August speechless around a woman. I’ve seen him be an asshole, but I’ve never seen him speechless.”

“Sam!Watch your mouth,” Claire says.

I laugh.” It’s okay, Claire, I have seen his asshole side too.”

“Seriously, he does love you, Nash.” Claire is adamant.

“It’s not a question of love. His world is overwhelming to me. I like the simple things in life, and he likes the grander things. The drama that comes with him is too much sometimes.”

“I don’t think he has ever had anyone love him for just himself, at least in his mind. When we met him, we accepted what he could do for our lives. It wasn’t until he let us into his life, that we loved him for himself, despite his money and power. He could have been dirt poor at that point and we would have still loved him. He’s a good man that deserves to be loved by a woman like you.”

☀

Two weeks pass, and I have still barely spoken to August. He says there’s too much going on in Seattle and he just can’t make it home. I call Anna for a respite for my loneliness in this big house. She loves to visit August’s house. I think it makes her feel swanky. So she’s sitting beside me in less than an hour. I’m finally able to tell her the truth about everything.

“Oh my God. You almost died.” She hugs me.” I’m so sorry about all the things that have happened to you. You look awful by the way.”

I slap her leg and laugh.” Thanks a lot.”

“No, seriously, you’ve lost weight. You look pale.”

“Trust me, I’m not as pale as I was in the hospital. It’s just taking me a little longer to recover than what I thought it would. I’m exhausted all the time. Naps have become part of my daily routine. Maybe some of it is just that I’m lonely and bored.”

“I have the solution for that.” She leaps to her feet. Her bouncing up and down nauseates me.

“What?”

“Let’s book a cruise. The port is only a few hours away and Mexico will be fun this time of year.”

“I don’t know….

“Come on, it will be a blast.” She is all smiles.

“I’ll talk to August about it.” She hands me the phone. I set it in my lap. “I didn’t mean right now.”

“There’s no time like the present. I’m ordering our tickets, so hurry up and call him.”

I walk out onto the pool deck and call him. He answers on the second ring.” What’s wrong?”

“Well hello to you, too.”

“I’m sorry, baby. You just caught me at a bad time.”

“I just wanted to let you know that Anna and I are going on a quick cruise to Mexico this week.”

“Okay, have fun.”

“Wait, you don’t want to discuss it and tell me that I can’t go?”

“Is that what you want me to do?” He sounds confused.

“No, but that’s what I’m used to with you. You always want to control my comings and goings.”

“I’m sorry. I’m really caught up with things here. There’s no reason for you to sit in that big lonely house, waiting for me to come home.”

“You’re right. I love you, August.”

“I love you, too.” He hangs up.

☀

The cruise with Anna is just what I need. I have color on my face again, and I gained a few pounds eating all that Mexican food. We swam with the stingrays and went on a dune buggy ride, and of course, we lounged around in hammocks, sipping fruity drinks and giggling. Since I’m in a better mood, I really can’t wait to see August. He said he would be home for dinner tonight. Anna and I did a little shopping while we were gone. I bought a sexy little piece of lingerie that August will love.

I make it back in time to smell the heavenly meal Stella has been slaving over. She’s all smiles when she sees me. She’s as excited as I am to have August home.

“Welcome back, Nash.” She throws her arms around my neck and kisses my cheeks.

“I don’t know what smells so good in here, Stella, but I am
so glad
to be home. Is August here yet?”

“He’s been here for about an hour. I think he went upstairs to shower. Tell him dinner will be ready in thirty minutes.” She yells as I skip out of the room.

I run up the stairs. It seems like it’s been forever since I have seen him. It’s been even longer since I have touched him.

I bounce into the room. He’s just coming out of the bathroom. He is toweling his hair and has another towel wrapped low around his waist, revealing his rock hard abs. The sight of him makes me instantly wet. I run into his arms.

“I am so glad you’re home.” I kiss him hard. His mouth parts and I explore him with my tongue. I feel him harden underneath the thin towel.

“I have missed you, too.”

I don’t know whether it has just been awhile since we have been together, but I am horny as hell. I want all of him, right here and now. I yank the towel from around his waist and take his hard cock in my hands.

He pulls back. “Not so fast baby. You’re going to unman me in seconds.”

“Sorry, I just want you so badly. It has been so long.”

He walks me over to the bed.” Come here and let me hold you for a minute.”

I am a little disappointed, but I do as he asks.” Mmm. You smell so good.” I snuggle into his neck.

“Did you girls have a good time? You have a little color on your cheeks.”

“It was exactly what I needed. Oh, I bought you something.” I hop off the bed and grab a bag out of my suitcase. “Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”

He laughs. “I thought the gift was for me?”

“Trust me. You’re going to love it. Don’t move an inch.” I change and brush out my hair. I apply a light shade of lip color and some blush. I take one last look in the mirror and push my breast a little higher. He is going to love this. I open the door slightly and drape one leg out the door.

I hear him laugh. I open the door wide and rest my arms against the doorframe. I’m on full display for him now. He stops laughing. His mouth hangs open.

He stands up as I approach the bed. “This is a hot little number.”

“You like?”

He walks behind me and places his hands on my breast. I pant at the contact. He sweetly kisses my shoulder and then bites at it. I inhale from the sting.

“Take if off,” he says.

“But, I thought you’d like it.” I try to turn but he doesn’t allow it.

“I love it. I would just love it better on the floor.” He nips at my ear.

“Oh.” I feel that familiar throbbing, down low in my belly. He presses his erection into my backside and I groan. He pulls the hem of my gown up over my head. He pushes onto the bed. My ass is in the air. He lightly smacks me.” I have missed this ass. I like it a little pink.”

He flips me over and positions me so that my ass is on the edge of the bed. He parts my legs. He stares down at me. His cock is lengthening and hardening before my eyes. He kneels, and licks me.” I’ve missed the taste of you. He has my moisture on his lips. It’s such a turn on.

“Please.”

My hands are in his hair. His tongue is magical, and my orgasm builds. He inserts two fingers inside me. I yank his hair.

“Come for me, baby,” he says.

Done. Just like that, my body explodes. He continues to gently lick me until I come back to earth.

“Please. August, I want you inside me.” My need for him is staggering.

“As you wish baby.” He thrusts into me, hard. It pushes me along the bed until my head is hanging precariously off the side.

“Too much?” he asks.

“Again.”

He slams into me three more times. We both fall off the bed, but somehow we manage to stay connected. I’m on top of him, but he’s sitting up. His hands are on my ass and my nails are running down his back.

“Ride me, baby.”

The lust in his eyes fuels my fire. I ride him just as hard as he was thrusting into me. He lets me bring us both pure pleasure.

After his own climax, we lay tangled on the floor. My feet are propped up on the bed and August lays between my legs. I can feel him breathing, and his body is covered in a light sheen of sweat. As I run my hands down his back, I feel raised areas. He has a few long scratches on his back. I guess I got a little carried away.

I rub them.” I’m sorry.”

He kisses my chin.” You can mark me anytime. I’m all yours.”

“I’m glad you’re back.”

He rolls off of me.” Don’t be too excited. I won’t be here for long.”

“Why, are things still crazy?”

“There’s still a lot of backlash. I’m going to have to do damage control for a while to save the company.” A dark cloud of stress seems to fall over him. It’s so different from the lust I just saw in his eyes.

“Why don’t you sell the company? You said yourself that you have more than enough money.” I rub his chest.

“Why would I want to sell the company?” He stands, abruptly. I’m left missing the warmth of his body.

I stand, too.” The company doesn’t make you who you are. Rylan Designs was built around secrets and lies. Why not start over with something else? Something that doesn’t require you to work all the time. Something that will let you enjoy your life.” We both get dressed as I talk.

“No way. I’ve spent my life building this. I’m not letting it go. I just don’t want to sell it, frankly.”

“What about what I want, August? I’ve tried to fit into your world, but you don’t try very hard to fit into mine!”

He runs his hands through his hair.” I don’t have the time or the energy to fight with you about my life right now.”

I feel as he just slapped me across the face.” Excuse me? I thought we were trying to build a life
together
. It sounds to me like you want everything your way. I’m just supposed to sit back and wait for you to squeeze me in somewhere!”

“That’s what I need from you right now. I’m on the verge of losing my company. My father was murdered. I’m holding on by a thread!”

“And I was kidnapped by the insane man that murdered your father!Or are you forgetting that?”

“No. I haven’t forgotten.” His voice is a little softer. He walks toward me, but I take a step back.

“I’m sorry.” He turns and walks out of the room.

As he disappears, I can feel my heart shattering into a million tiny pieces. I love this man with everything in me, but I can’t do this anymore. His life is too complicated. I never thought I could love someone so much, but not be able to be with them. My life has been in a constant upheaval since I met him. I have to face reality. It’s too tumultuous. Too many highs and lows. I just want stability.

I take the stairs slowly and purposefully, trying to prepare for what I know I need to do. He’s already in his office, working. He glances up at me, then turns back to his computer.

“August, I love you, but I can’t do this with you anymore.”

He stops typing.

I rush on before I lose my nerve. “My life has been chaos since I met you. I’ve tried to help you, and mold myself to you, but you won’t let me help you, and you won’t give an inch. This is not the kind of relationship I want. I need a partner. Someone who can share himself completely with me, like I do with him.”