Chapter 8
Shelly pursed her lips as she stared at a handful of paint samples. “I don’t like any of these.”
“Do you want me to see if they have more in the storeroom since there’s only a hundred thousand on this display?” Ryann asked.
“I told you this is a long and drawn-out process for me. Why did you want to come if you knew you’d be so impatient? My kitchen has been rebuilt for months, and I’ve seen every book and paint chip there is. I know I have to make a decision today, but I won’t make it lightly.”
“Shelly, throw me a bone here. I was patient when you turned your nose up about thirteen hundred times. It’s one room. If you decide you don’t like the color, we’ll paint it again.”
“I spend more time in my kitchen than I do anywhere else. Go sit on that bench over there and play with Anya’s toes. There’s a pacifier in the diaper bag, maybe that’ll make you happy.”
“You suck it,” Ryann said as she selected a sample. ‘“Amber light,’ sounds like beer to me, and it’s orange.”
“You haven’t sent that text.”
“Obviously not.”
Shelly cleared her throat and pulled another sample from the display. “I know it’s hard. I do consider your relationship like a marriage, and good or bad, it’s still hard to call it quits. Y’all have been together a long time.”
“I’ve done nothing but think about this. I need a break,” Ryann said wearily.
Shelly was quiet for a moment, then grinned. “Had we been born boys, your shoes and pants legs would’ve always been wet.”
“I don’t even know if I want to ask why.” Ryann glanced at her.
“Grant did something to tick Brody off the other day. They were playing with army men on the dirt pile in the backyard. Brody just whipped it out and peed all over Grant’s encampment. I would’ve done that to you.”
“I’ll throw a leg up on your shoulder and pee on you now.”
“Hey, I know you.”
Ryann whirled around and found Payton standing nearby with a tube of caulk in her hand. “Hey, what’re you up to?” she asked with a smile.
“Home projects today,” she said as she held up the caulk.
“Oh, let me introduce you to my sister, Chupacabra. Chup, this is Payton Foret.”
“I’m Shelly Corbello,” she said after she shoved Ryann out of the way and shook Payton’s hand. “This here in the stroller is Anya. She absolutely despises Ryann and goes to sleep anytime she’s near.”
Payton laughed at Shelly’s antics and said, “A pleasure to meet you both.”
“You’ve been to the gym?” Ryann asked as she took in Payton’s running shorts and damp T-shirt.
“Yes, you may want to keep your distance. I never run into anyone I know unless I look and smell bad. I knew better than to come in here like this.”
Ryann waved her off. “You smell a lot better than Chup.”
“I just started a couple of weeks ago and only now have stopped crying when I get out of bed in the morning. I’ve lost a few pounds, but I’m sure I’ll put them right back on at Thanksgiving.”
“You look great,” Ryann said with a genuine smile. “The movie you recorded the songs for, when does it come out?”
“Not until fall of next year.”
“I never asked you what the name of it was.”
Payton’s face colored a bit. “
Peanut’s Rebellion
.”
“That sounds like a gothic tale,” Shelly added with a laugh and quieted when Ryann elbowed her.
“Well, I have to get going.” Payton took a step back. “My to-do list is kind of long. Shelly, it was a pleasure meeting you and Anya.” She gazed at Ryann with a slight smile. “Till next time.”
Ryann nodded. “I hope it’s soon. I’d like to hear about all the things you’re working on.”
Payton waved the caulk tube and slipped down another aisle.
Shelly returned to her paint samples and whispered, “Who is she?”
“She’s Jana’s best friend, Jana is Melanie’s girlfriend.”
“Who…is Melanie?”
“My neighbor of four-and-a-half years. She’s been at most of our cookouts, you traded recipes with her a few times,” Ryann replied testily.
“Oh, yeah. Don’t cop an attitude. All the people at your parties are women. I’m lucky I can remember your name when I’m at one of them.” Shelly smacked her lips as she gazed at a sample. “I felt some tension—not the bad kind—and it was flowing from both of you.”
“No matter how bad things are, I won’t cheat on Leigh.”
“I’d never cheat on Evan, but there’s a guy that does yard work for my neighbors, and he makes sparks shoot out of my vagina whenever I see him.”
A slow smile spread across Ryann’s face as she regarded Shelly. “I have to see this guy because I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about being horny.”
Shelly stared off into the distance. “I was once, and that led to pregnancy and marriage, then more babies. It’s not a good state of being for me, but the lawn guy…he makes me want to share my candy. I hide behind my blinds and watch him, his shirt fitting snug against his chest and flat stomach, sweat glistening on his skin. I enjoy the sight for a moment or two, then I tell myself that it’s a mirage. He wants what all men want—a momma in the kitchen and a slut in the bedroom. They don’t seem to understand after you’ve wiped butts and runny noses all day, prepared food, and cleaned up after the horde that the last thing you want to see is what put you there in the first place.”
“I’m so thankful I’m a lesbian.”
“Yeah,” Shelly said with disdain. “You got that and the good hair. I hate you a little bit.” She looked at Anya sleeping contentedly in the stroller. “I hope you’re not absorbing any of what I just said into your consciousness.”
“If she is, you’re probably going to have a lesbian on your hands,” Ryann said with a laugh.
“So tell me, do sparks fly out of your business when you look at…”
“I can’t let my mind go there.”
“Uh-oh.”
“No.” Ryann shook her head. “I have enough to deal with right now.”
“So you break up with Leigh, then what? Let’s be honest here, you’re not one of those people who’re afraid to be alone, but you’re happiest when you’re part of a couple.”
“I can’t look toward the future until I deal with the present.” Ryann pulled another sample and handed it to Shelly.
“Fine, but it’s hard to ignore sparks in your crotch. Say what you will, but you have them.”
*******
Payton paid for her caulk, sprinted out to her car, and after she climbed in, she sat there without turning the engine. “She looked good, really good,” she said with the memory of Ryann dressed in a pair of jeans, a sweatshirt, no makeup, and her hair in a ponytail imprinted on her brain. “This is very simple. Right now, you’re eating healthy, and all you can think about is cakes, pies, and doughnuts. You can’t have Ryann, and that’s why she affects you this way. Get a grip. Erase her from your mind right now and go on with your life.”
She turned the engine, backed out of her parking spot, and hit the phone button on her steering wheel. The second Jana answered, Payton said, “I just saw Ryann at the hardware store.”
“How’d she look?”
The word “yummy” ran through Payton’s mind, but what came out of her mouth was “the same.”
“Leigh’s been avoiding Melanie’s calls. They were both into that show
Game of Thrones
, and they used to call each other and talk about it all the time on their lunch breaks. Melanie just bought the last season that was released on DVD and was going to offer Leigh the chance to watch it first. Hey, you haven’t been looking at your profile, have you? There’s like a dozen hits on it, and you don’t even have a picture up.”
“I know I need to look at it, but my creativity has been up lately, and I’m riding the wave because another drought will hit. Plus, I’ve been going to the gym a lot. I think the endorphins are what’s giving me the boost.”
“Have you met anyone there?” Jana asked with a hopeful tone.
“It’s all about the workout. I can run a mile now without getting light-headed. I feel good physically and mentally.”
“I’m proud of you.”
Payton smiled. “I’m proud of me, too. I haven’t seen you lately. When are you gonna come wreck my diet?”
“Maybe this weekend. Melanie’s sister is coming in from Birmingham, and they’ll probably want some bonding time.”
“Good, because I’ve forgotten what you look like, and I think I deserve some Mexican food.”
“I’ll treat. I have to get back to work now. I’ll see you soon.”
“All right, bye.” Payton pressed a button on her steering wheel and began to gripe. “Of course, you say that, but if her royal highness decides she wants you by her side, I’ll be out in the cold.”
Jana’s voice boomed over the speakers in Payton’s car. “You always hit the wrong button. You need glasses, jackass, and yes, I will hold the royal highness comment against you. Now this is how a person hangs up.”
The click felt like it rattled the car. Payton clamped her lips together tightly, then said, “Oops.”
Chapter 9
“What was it like seeing each other again?” Olivia asked after she pressed a button on a second recorder.
Payton threw her hands up. “Setback, total setback. I was doing okay, but when I saw her, I was right back at square one. I started thinking about her a lot again, but this time, I had the sense not to tell anyone, so they wouldn’t crush my dreams. They were all I had.”
Ryann smiled and kissed Payton on the cheek. “I’m thankful that you’re hardheaded.”
“You say that now.”
Olivia chuckled at them. “Ryann, what did you feel when you saw Payton?”
“Sparks. I denied it to Shelly, but they were there.” Ryann’s smile faded. “In hindsight, I know why I was dragging my feet with Leigh. We’d been together a long time, and even though I wasn’t happy, I knew what to expect with her. I wasn’t as brave as I thought I was. I was afraid of having to start over. It wasn’t until a stranger started the ball rolling, and I never even knew her name.”
*******
******
***
Two days later, Shelly was making false promises to Brody in an attempt to get him into the shower when the phone rang. “Boy! If you don’t get up there and bathe right now, I will jerk all kinds of knots in your butt!”
He shrugged. “How do you jerk a knot?”
“It’s a figure of speech. Do you not get the gist?”
Brody shrugged again. “No, ma’am.”
“Boy, into the shower now,” Evan said when he walked into the living room with the phone and handed it to Shelly. “It’s Ryann.”
“Hey, babe, you just saved your nephew’s life. What’s up?” Shelly knelt and picked potato chips off the floor.
“I’m at the Hampton Inn. The one four blocks from your house. I need you.”
Shelly stood slowly as chips rained out of her hand. “I’ll be there. Text me the room number.” Ryann hung up without a word, and Shelly began moving at warp speed. “Evan, my sister needs me. Brody has homework to do when he gets out of the shower, and we have another son in the house somewhere, but I’m not sure what he’s doing. Anya’s dinner is in the fridge.”
“What about our dinner?”
Shelly threw up both hands. “Don’t cook, swear to me that you won’t. The number to a pizza place that delivers is on the fridge. Order salad and make sure the boys eat that first.”
“Baby, you only have one shoe on,” Evan said as Shelly headed for the front door. She grabbed her purse and one of his work boots.
*******
Ryann’s face was puffy, and her eyes were watery when she opened the hotel room door. Shelly regarded her sadly as she stepped into the room wearing mismatched footwear. As soon as the door closed behind her, she pulled Ryann into her arms and held her while she cried.
“Nothing lasts forever, not even this pain. Leigh will get through this, you’re not a bad person.”
Ryann pulled away and sank slowly onto the bed with a faraway look in her eyes.
“I would’ve been here sooner, but I stopped for this.” Shelly pulled a bottle of rum from her purse and two cans of Coke. “You should’ve given me a heads-up that you were going to talk to her tonight, and I would’ve prepared better. I’m sure you haven’t noticed what’s on my feet, but I walked into a convenience store looking like this. I told the clerk I sprained my ankle, and I needed something oversized.”
“It didn’t go down how you think it did,” Ryann said numbly.
Shelly mixed Ryann a stout drink and placed it in her hand before settling beside her. “What happened?”
“When I got home from work, there was a car parked in front of the house.” Ryann took a drink, and her brow furrowed as she mentally recalled how it all played out. “I got out of my car and was about to go inside when this woman came marching up the driveway. She practically shouted, ‘Hey! Are you Ryann Seely?’ I had no idea who she was. All sorts of things went through my mind as she charged up on me. I was so stunned I couldn’t get the key in the door. She got in my face and told me she’d been sleeping with Leigh for over a year, and they were a couple, like I was the mistress. She said other things, but my mind just went blank. Then Leigh’s car came flying up in the driveway. She got out and started screaming at this woman. They yelled at each other for a long time, and all I could do was stand there and watch.”
Shelly’s blood ran hot. The muscles in her jaw twitched as she clenched her teeth. “This is what you need to do. Call into work and tell them you’re sick. When I’m arrested, you call Evan and have him come bail me out.”
Ryann went on as though she hadn’t heard a word she said. “I suspected an affair, almost wished for it, because I didn’t want to hurt her. When the confirmation—the reality—hit, I was floored. No…I was sick. I remember going into the bathroom and puking. When I came out, Leigh was in the hallway, and she began this bullshit about the woman being crazy, the interest was one-sided, and she was trying to break us up. I leaned against the wall listening to the story she was obviously cooking up as she went along, but she couldn’t look me in the eye. All I could think of was all the other times she pulled away from me, so I asked how many women she’d been with while we were together. She claimed there had only been four.” Ryann’s hand shook as she raised the glass to her lips and whispered, “Four…that’s a fucking lot, don’t you think?”
Shelly couldn’t think of a thing to say for about half a second. “And here you were worried about hurting her!”
“She begged me not to leave, swore she’d never do it again. She said she didn’t know what was wrong with her, but she still loved me.” Ryann shook her head slowly. “Am I the one with a problem because I don’t understand that?”
“You came here because you knew she’d expect you to go to my house, and you were afraid she’d show up there,” Shelly said as she stood.
“I knew you’d slap the piss out of her, but I think what scares me the most is what I’d do,” Ryann said with a glassy gaze. “Eight years, and the whole time she was sleeping with someone else. I felt so guilty for plotting to break up with her. I wondered a lot if I was being fair because I didn’t try harder to find out what was going on with her. What the fuck was wrong with me?”
Shelly began to pace with her arms folded. “Give me your phone, I’ll call in sick for you.”
“I already did.” One of Ryann’s brows rose. “I must’ve sounded horrible because I didn’t get half of it out before Barnes told me to take as much time as I needed and to call when I felt better.”
“You’re coming home with me.”
Ryann shook her head. “I can’t face Evan and the kids right now.”
“Then I’m staying here. I’m not leaving you alone. You need to eat.”
“I need to do a lot of things, but that isn’t one of them.”
*******
Payton was at her piano putting the finishing touches on a new song when her phone rang. “I’m sorry I made that comment about Melanie the other day and you heard it,” she said when she answered.
“I’m pulling into your driveway. Open up,” Jana said and hung up.
“Oh, she’s pissed.” Payton opened the front door and expected to find a seething best friend on her step. She did, but Jana was carrying a pillow with a bag slung over her shoulder. “What’s going on?”
“Melanie and I had a fight.”
“And you left your own house?” Payton asked as she closed the door.
“I left hers, but I know I’m not gonna sleep much tonight.” Jana tossed her pillow onto the couch. “I don’t even know why I brought that.”
“You want a drink?”
“No.” Jana dropped her bag in the middle of the floor and began to wander around with both hands in her hair.
Payton took a seat. “I can’t be unbiased. I’m always on your side.”
Jana’s back was turned when she said, “Leigh and Ryann broke up today. Leigh was most definitely cheating and got busted big-time when her bitch showed up at the house and told Ryann everything.”
Payton rubbed her forehead as her blood pressure spiked from the surprise. “Is Ryann okay?”
“More than likely not, but she was already gone when Melanie got home from work. Melanie is normally at my house by the time I get home, and she wasn’t, so I called. She was busy consoling Leigh, who is ‘devastated.’ So I told Melanie I’d come over, and she told me not to, it might make Leigh uncomfortable. I’m an understanding woman, but she’s got a fucking cheater in her arms, and I took issue with that. Maybe I’m speaking out of turn, but Leigh made her bed. If she needs consolation from someone, why isn’t she with the woman who she’s been sneaking around with?”
Payton blew out a breath. “I warned you I can’t be unbiased, especially in this situation.”
“I know you can’t.” Jana turned and plopped down on the couch. “Regardless of what Melanie said, all I heard was, ‘I have to be here for this prick, and don’t make her uncomfortable with your presence.’”
Neither of them said anything for a few minutes. Payton rubbed her temples with Ryann on her mind and knew that at least she had a sister who lived close by. She remembered the desolation when Courtney had left, and Payton didn’t wish that feeling on anyone except for Leigh.
“I can be reasonable. Maybe I will be tomorrow, but tonight, I’m pissed. Good or bad, Leigh is a friend, and Melanie is loyal. She’s probably really torn about how to handle this because I know she loves Ryann, too.” Jana propped a hand under her chin. “I thought saying that aloud would make me feel better, but it doesn’t. You’re thinking about Ryann, aren’t you?”
“Always, it seems.”
*******
“Eat it.”
Ryann snatched a piece of bread out of Shelly’s hand and stuffed it into her mouth. She turned her nose up at a piece of fried fish when Shelly shoved that at her, too. With effort, Ryann swallowed, then took a drink, wanting to be completely smashed.
“Let me tell you what’s gonna happen,” Shelly said as gently as she could. “Leigh is gonna try to get you to forgive her. She’ll probably send you flowers and long letters filled with promises and apologies. That’s what Evan’s ex-wife did, but she sent him teddy bears instead of roses. Like him, you’ll probably be tempted to remember the good times, and it’ll weaken your resolve because your world has been blown apart, and all you want is normalcy. Evan did go back, they went to therapy, and he was working on forgiveness when she did it again with the same guy.” Shelly folded her arms and chewed her bottom lip. “Some people get lonely, maybe their partner works on a job away somewhere. Other times, the relationship goes through a rough patch, and they make a huge mistake. Those people might be able to redeem themselves, but there are others like Leigh who have a pattern. So when she comes to you with sweet little lies, that’s all they are. Remember that you weren’t happy, and the relationship was really already over. Dwell on that, not the woman you thought she was.”
“I just feel really stupid,” Ryann slurred. “She was probably sleeping with someone else the first year after we got together. And there I was begging her to talk to me. It didn’t click, it just didn’t click.” Ryann contemplated the bottom of her empty cup. “I really loved her then. I think that’s where all the hurt comes from. She never truly loved me.”
“You’re in shock. After you’ve had time to digest—oh, I want to get my hands on that woman and Leigh, but that woman. She caught you completely off guard and screamed at you like you were the one on the side. What an audacious bitch! I can’t spend much thought on Leigh because I probably would really go to jail. I’d smash her car, and I’d kick her in the crotch.”
“Stop shaking the bed, I’m already queasy.”
Shelly plucked the cup from Ryann’s hand and set it on the bedside table. “You’re good and drunk, you don’t need any more of that. I wish you’d eat some more, you need it to absorb some of the alcohol.”
“I kinda wish that I would’ve told her I wasn’t happy, then moved out without knowing any of this.”
Shelly pulled Ryann’s head down on her shoulder and stroked her hair. “She might’ve morphed into the woman you thought you knew and won you back.”
“I have to go to the doctor and make sure I don’t have some disease. That’s what I have to look forward to after eight years.”
“I promise you this. If any of the tests they give you come back positive for anything, I
will
kick her in the crotch. Then I’ll rent a billboard next to her office and put her picture on it with ‘Do you know this diseased cooch? If you do, you’d better get yourself checked.’”
“I’ll help you pay for it,” Ryann said with a sad smile. “And I’ll give you a picture.” She closed her eyes. “I put away all the photos of us as a couple just to see if she would notice, and she never did. That was a year ago, during her last emotional hiatus. Don’t tell Mom or anyone else about this. I’m going to need some time.”
“Can I tell Evan, just in case he has to bail me out of jail?”
“Yes, but no one else.”
Shelly took Ryann’s hand and squeezed it. “When you can, start looking forward to a new and happy life.”
“I already am.”
“That’s the rum talking.”
Ryann suppressed a burp.
Shelly smiled. “And that too.”