Nickels (28 page)

“He’s probably a half hour behind us.  They ended up having
enough volunteers with the youth, so he took off early.”

“Oh, Rick, you need to get the grill going then,” Brenda
suggested.

Kyle followed his dad outside as Brenda went into the
kitchen.

Niki stayed seated, looking around the small home.  She had
been here for Christmas last year, so it wasn’t her first visit.  The house
pretty much looked the same, except there was no tree in the corner next to the
TV and the décor had a definite Tuscan feel.  The large table just off the
kitchen was already set with nice china.  That’s how Brenda liked her family
meals, always making them a special affair.

“You’re awfully quiet,” Marcy said.

“I’m just tired.”  Niki deflected.  She just wanted to get
through this meal so she could get home and sort out her thoughts.

“What did you think of church?”

“Niki, you went to church this morning?” Brenda asked,
joining the conversation while stirring this or that on the stove.

“Yes, I did.  It was different.  The music was pretty
good.”  What did one say about a church service anyway?

The guys came in from the heat long enough to down some
water and pick up the chicken waiting to be grilled.

“I know I should know this already, but is this the first time
you’ve met Chad?” Niki asked directing her comment to Brenda.

“Oh, no.  Marcy has brought him by several times.  He’s such
a good young man.”

Marcy dramatically blew out a sigh of relief.  “I’m glad you
like him, Mom, because he’s going to be your son-in-law.”

Brenda and Niki both stared at Marcy as she held out her
left hand.  A lovely marquis cut diamond reflected the light.

Niki’s heart sank.  This was it.  She was losing her friend.

Brenda squealed in delight and rushed around the island
counter to hug Marcy.  Kissing her on the cheek, she said, “I’m so proud of
you, honey.  He’s a really good man and I would be pleased to call him son.”

Rick and Kyle returned from outside carrying the cooked
chicken.  Spying his wife and daughter in an embrace, Rick asked, “What’s going
on here?”

The doorbell rang.  Being the closest, Niki opened it,
letting Chad in.

“Daddy, Chad and I are getting married.”

Rick’s face went from shock to understanding.  Then he
smiled the most lovingly happy smile Niki had ever witnessed.  He pulled his
daughter close.  “I think you picked a good one, honey.”

As everyone passed around the congratulations, hugging Chad
and Marcy both, Niki plopped into a chair at the table.  She was happy for
Marcy, but couldn’t shake the feeling things were about to change forever.

Marcy took a seat next to her as Brenda loaded up the table
with serving dishes.  “Congratulations, Marcy,” Niki said, giving her a hug. 
“I’m so glad I gave him your number.”

Marcy laughed.  “Me, too.”

Rick took a seat at the head of the table, while Kyle sat
across from Niki and Chad across from Marcy.  Once Brenda took a seat at the
foot of the table, Rick offered up a prayer.  When he concluded, dishes started
being passed around the table.

Niki concentrated on dishing up her plate while the others
talked more about Marcy and Chad’s engagement and ensuing wedding.  Apparently
he proposed in Flagstaff last weekend and they were keeping it a secret until
today.

As she started eating the delicious grilled chicken before
her, Brenda pulled her into the conversation.  “So, Niki, Marcy tells us you
and Kyle work together.  Was it a surprise to see him after all these years?”

She almost choked on the bite she was chewing, but recovered
before anyone noticed.  “It was definitely that.”

“When is the last time you saw Kyle?” Brenda asked.

She looked up from her plate and eyed Kyle warily.  “High
school.”

“Really?  Are you sure?  I thought he made it home for
Christmas at least once since then,” Brenda said.

“I’m sure I would have remembered that.”

When there was a lull in the conversation, she finally got
the courage to ask the question brewing in her heart.  “So, Kyle, tell me how
is it that you were such a jerk in high school and now you seem so… Different.”

“Niki!” Brenda shouted over silverware dropping.  Gaping
mouths shut as Niki glanced around the table.

“It’s okay, Mom,” Kyle said silencing his mother’s
soon-to-be scolding.  “It’s a fair question.  Especially since I was such a
jerk,” he said.  His gaze locked with Niki’s on the last word.  “I’m sure it
must be confusing to think someone is one way, only to find out they might be something
different now.”

She kept eye contact with Kyle, challenging him to answer
her question.

“The simple answer is that I found Jesus.”

“And, exactly how did you do that?” She shot back.  She
didn’t want some blanket pacifist answer.  She wanted the full story.

Kyle laid his fork down next to his plate.

Rick spoke up.  “This is not dinner time conversation.”

“Dad, aren’t we supposed to be ready at all times to share
our story?” Kyle asked.  At his father’s nod, he continued, “Then, I think Niki
needs to hear it.”

The air filled with tension as Kyle told his story.

“You’re right.  I was a jerk in high school.  I was even a
jerk in college and in the Air Force.  I didn’t care how my actions affected
others.  I just wanted as much attention as I could get, regardless of who I
hurt along the way.  And sometimes I was a jerk because I thought making others
look bad was fun.

“Then, about a year ago, I was piloting a helicopter for a
recovery mission in Iraq.  The team with me was one I worked with on many
missions.  They were a dedicated group and did whatever it took to rescue as
many people as they could.  They had no qualms about putting their lives on the
line to save another.

“The recovery zone was rugged territory, deep in the
northern mountains.  The injured fighter pilot was stuck on the edge of an
embankment that rose into a steep cliff.  It was a tricky situation, but I knew
I could do it—after all, I trained for this sort of thing.

“At first things were going pretty well.  I had the
helicopter in position, holding it steady.  The team dropped the line.  Then
they zipped down to lend aid.

“Before they had the injured pilot in the basket, I noticed
the helicopter drifting. I checked my controls and it looked like it was
holding steady.  But, I knew it wasn’t.  I could see by the angle of the cliff
in relation to the corner of the cockpit window.  It had changed, I was sure of
it.

“I tried to adjust, even though I was sure the instruments
were wrong.  But, I was too late.  The rotor blade scraped against the side of
the cliff.  Once that happened, no amount of skill could save us.

“As the helicopter crashed to the ground, I remember
thinking that this was it.  And I wasn’t even scared.  I should have been,
because my eternal life was not sealed.  And I knew it.  But even then, I
didn’t care.

“Then, several weeks later, I woke up in the hospital.  I
couldn’t move.  They had me immobilized because I had two surgeries on my
back.  When I first woke up, they told me I would probably never walk again. 
At first, they wouldn’t tell me what happened or that everyone else was dead. 
When they did, I could only think about two things:  I killed them and I would
suffer penance by never walking again.”

Brenda and Marcy were in tears.  Rick sat stiffly in his
chair looking down at his plate.  Chad looked in Kyle’s direction listening to
every word.  Niki looked down at her plate, pushing food around.  She was
starting to regret pushing him to tell this story.

“Then one day this man came to visit me.  He sounded like an
older gentleman, but I couldn’t really tell.  I was still immobile and could
only stare at the ceiling.  He never came close enough to my bed for me to see
his face.  But, his voice was kind.

“He asked me how I was doing.  I wasn’t in much of a mood to
talk.  Self-pity has a way of muting you.  So he talked to me.  He told me that
it wasn’t my fault.  I guess he must have found out about the accident, because
he seemed to know a lot of the details.  Anyway, day after day he came to see
me.  Each day, when he first arrived, he told me it wasn’t my fault and he said
it again before he left.

“He asked me if I had been afraid of dying.  At first I told
him no.  But later, I told him the truth.  I was afraid.  I was more afraid
because I knew about God, but never felt I needed him—that when the helicopter
went down, I had no assurance of my future.  I told him I didn’t think I could
do this on my own—go through rehab, get past killing my friends.  He told me I
didn’t have to be on my own anymore.

“Then, one day he stopped coming.  I missed the
conversations.  I had looked forward to them every day.  When he stopped
coming, I asked about him.  But the nurses said no one had been to visit me.  I
told them they were wrong—that I talked to an old man day after day.  I thought
he might have been the chaplain.  So I asked them to send for the chaplain.

“When he arrived, he was a young man about my own age, maybe
even younger.  And his voice wasn’t the same.  It wasn’t the old man.

“But, I talked to the chaplain anyway.  I told him
everything.  I told him I didn’t want to do things my own way anymore.  That I
was tired of running.  So, he led me in a prayer—the prayer that changed my
life.  I asked Jesus to forgive me—for my sins, for killing my friends, for
ignoring him all those years, for hurting so many people.

“And he did.  He came into my heart.  He brought his peace
with him.  He changed me.

“Don’t you see, Niki, I didn’t change.  Jesus changed me
from being a jerk to being different as you said.  He was everything I had been
looking for.”

The words smacked her in the face.  Those were Jack’s words.

Chapter 25

 “What did you say?” Niki asked angrily.

“In Jesus, I found everything I had always been looking
for.”

She pushed back from the table.  She had to get out of
here.  She had to get away from him.  How could he know what Jack said?  What
game was he playing with her?

“Marcy, please take me home.”

“I can’t,” Marcy whispered.  “Chad and I are due at his
parents soon.”

“I’ll take you,” Kyle said.

She felt cornered.  Nowhere to run.  She would have to rely
on him to get her home.  See—this is why she always drove separate.

“Son,” Rick said.  “You don’t have to do that.”

In that moment she realized that she’d hurt both Rick and
Brenda by forcing Kyle to tell all.

“It’s fine, Dad.  I brought her, I can take her home.”

Niki wasn’t going to let this linger any longer.  She needed
out.  Now!

She walked to the front door and yanked it open.  She
hurried to Kyle’s truck.  She glanced back at the open door of the house and
saw Brenda and Rick speaking softly to Kyle.  She couldn’t hear the words.  She
didn’t care.  She just wanted to go home.

“Just pray for her,” she heard Kyle say.  Then he hugged his
mom and walked to the truck.

The second he disarmed it, she jerked the door open and
climbed in.  She put her seat belt on then crossed her arms.  When he got in
and started the truck, she looked out the window.

How could he have known what Jack wrote?  She never even
shared the letters with Marcy.  No one knew those words.  No one.

But, those were Jack’s exact words.  She read those letters
enough to have them memorized.  There was no way Kyle could have known about
that.

He reached over and touched her arm.

“Niki,” he said softly.

She slapped his hand away.  “Don’t touch me.”

“Talk to me.  What’s going on?”

“Shut up, Kyle.  I think you’ve done enough.  Just take me
home.”

She wanted to stay angry, but the tears threatened.  Her
carefully constructed wall was tumbling down and she didn’t even know why.

Her life was lame.  All she did was work.  Work, work,
work.  Work to chase away the loneliness.  Work to dull the grief sheltered
just under the surface of her fragile heart.

She was sick of it—her miserable life.  She wanted a change.

Jesus changed me.

Her anger faded some.  Goodness, if He could change Kyle,
surely He could help her.  She wasn’t nearly the mess that he was.

Slowly, her anger melted into sorrow and regret.  The miles
of freeway seemed to last forever.  She just needed to hold herself together
long enough to make it home.  But, it became more difficult the further they
drove.

As he pulled off the freeway, Niki could not keep silent any
longer.  She couldn’t face being alone right now.  Instead, she summoned her
anger again and focused it back on him.  “How did you know that was what Jack
said?”

“What are you talking about?”