Night Moves (The Night Songs Collection) (16 page)

“W
hat are you going to do when the tour is over?” I asked Ryder as we spent a lazy early evening in a tangle of sheets. We talked a lot about the past, but hardly ever about the future. Maybe because the past was the only thing we were sure of. Neither of us could even guarantee the present.

“I need to find a new place to live,” he answered, stretching. It seemed like he’d rather talk about anything than answer that question. “I’ve been thinking about Vegas. Twenty-four hour city, kind of easy to blend in there. Plus there’s a pretty good support system for my kind.”

“You talk about yourself like you’re not even a person.”

“Technically, I’m not.” The sadness in his voice ripped through me. “I’m going to work on some songs for my album, figure out where to go from there.”

“Are you considering leaving the band?”

“Not in the immediate future. I was hoping for a long career with Soul Divider, but when people started to lose interest, I’ve got to have other options. I never intended for this to last for eternity. At some point, I’m going to have to break away from the crutch that Drake created for all of us.”

“Maybe this album will be able to do that.” I traced my finger lightly along his bare shoulder and arm, up to his neck and cheek.

“Drake is going to go ballistic when he hears about it. All of us, working together without him. He’ll think we’re doing it behind his back. Which would be right. I tried to do this a couple years ago, but he freaked out, called us all back to the studio early. Which was stupid because that was the album that tanked.” Ryder sat up quickly and started looking for his clothes.

I hated that I was making him uncomfortable but he had to work through these things. Ryder had to figure out what was best for Ryder.

“He knows you’re better than him.” I sat up too, pulling the sheet up around my bare body for warmth as well as a scrap of modesty. Josiah could wake up any time, and I’m sure he’d seen plenty when I was otherwise engaged, but this still wasn’t a free for all.

“Drake’s mind doesn’t work like that. He just needs to squash any challenges, whatever it takes.” Ryder sat back on the foot of the bed, now fully dressed. He exhaled, his shoulders slumping forward. I crawled over to rub his shoulders to help him relax.

He pulled me into his lap, still loosely wrapped in the sheet. “What are you going to do, Melanie?”

My heart stopped at the thought of it. I panicked. For all the free therapy I wanted to offer Ryder, I needed a taste of my own medicine.

“I don’t know.” It was hard to force out the words. I couldn’t look him in the eye. “I’d never planned on life beyond working at the bank. A life with Jamie. Now, what am I going to do?”

“I hope you’ll consider Vegas.” He murmured against my cheek, using his free hand to wipe away the tears streaking my face. “If I’m going to live forever, I don’t want to do it without you.”

I pulled away from him slightly, in wonder. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t wrap my brain around his words. I wanted to ask for clarification, just like a stereotypical goddamned girl, but I didn’t want to give him a chance to take it back.

“But you’ve seen the news, baby. It’s only a matter of time before they catch up to me. I’m only getting away with this because we’re on the move, and I can hide out with you. I’m luckier than I am smart.”

“Well, then you’re pretty damn lucky.” He pulled me back in, slipping his hand under the sheet, tickling me. “Not to mention sexy as hell.”

I laughed too loudly as he tickled my rib cage. The distraction was only temporary, the threat of waking up Josiah snapped me back into reality. I stiffened and shied away from his hand. The heaviness returned.

“I’m afraid I don’t have a future,” I whispered.

Ryder tipped my chin back up from my chest and looked me in the eyes. My tears blurred his face. He kissed me, gently but deeply, to say that he thought differently.

The kiss took my breath away. We stayed close like that for more time than I could count.

“We’ll make it work,” he said finally. “Drake’s got people. I mean, we’re not even technically alive and they’re making it work for us, so I’m sure they could fudge some things for you.”

“Drake hates me. He won’t do that,” I protested. There was no upside to this.

“Drake needs me. So he will.”

“You’re willing to put everything on the line like that? I mean, you’re putting together this solo album.”

“Stop worrying about Drake and start worrying about Melanie.” He kissed my shoulder. I wanted the tension to melt away. But I couldn’t make it happen yet.

I couldn’t believe Ryder already felt that strongly for me, and not only did he want to spend all of the foreseeable future with me, but he was willing to jeopardize his livelihood for me. Sure, I’d fallen for him hard in a hurry, but I’d had the last decade of fantasies to prepare me for our time together. Everything about me was new to him. It was overwhelming that someone could feel like that so quickly, even when I felt the same way.

Why did I keep trying to get him to push me away? Just to see if he would do it?

“It doesn’t bother you that I killed two people?” I asked, wary of his answer.

“As long as it doesn’t bother you that I’ve killed more.” He couldn’t look me in the eye when he replied.

All I could do was turn his face back to me and kiss him. I didn’t know what to say anymore.

I took a long, hot shower just to give myself some time to think about our conversation. It wasn’t like we were going anywhere, I wasn’t in a hurry. I wondered what it would be like to go out on a proper date with Ryder. Sure, it would be hard anywhere because he was so recognizable, or was he still? These clubs they played were so small. Did anyone care anymore? And it wasn’t like we could go out for dinner, but I’d love to watch a movie with him on a blanket under the stars, or get dressed up, go have a glass of wine, and listen to some local band. What about doing normal things, like shopping and housework? I smiled at the thought of doing Ryder’s laundry.

And I’d never been to Vegas.

He wanted to spend forever with me. I tipped my head back to rinse the crappy hotel issue conditioner out of my hair and sighed.

I needed to stop thinking about what I thought was the right thing and just do what made me happy. Ryder made me happy.

It wasn’t like I was overwhelmed with any other options. And doing the right thing hadn’t worked out so hot for me so far. This was my now, and until someone came and pulled me away from it kicking and screaming, my future.

Wrapping my hair in a towel, I pulled my pajamas back on and headed back out to the main room. Ryder and Josiah sat on their beds, both of them still rumpled from a lazy start to their day, watching the news. Ryder changed the channel quickly when he saw me turn the corner.

“It’s okay,” I said quietly as I climbed on the bed beside him. “I should know what’s going on.”

“I don’t want to upset you.” Ryder’s eyes looked so sad. He could probably feel my tension. .

“I’m a big girl. I need to take responsibility for my actions.” I smiled weakly at him.

“Aw, Ryder’s just making excuses because he really digs Will and Grace. That’s why he changed the channel.” Josiah broke the tension. I couldn’t help but laugh.

We laid there like that, watching nineties sitcoms for most of the night. Josiah polished off a bottle of Venom. It was as close to normal as we could possibly get, two vampires and a murderer hanging out on tour in Texas, but it was perfect.

I could do this for a long time. Maybe even forever.

No one was expecting company, so we all looked at each other, puzzled, when someone knocked on the door. Josiah got up to answer it.

Erin’s voice drifted into the room, and I sat up and smiled when I heard it. I just wanted to get down on my hands and knees and thank God every time she returned from one of her adventures in one piece. I smiled even more when she made her way down the small hallway into the room. She looked so normal. She wore yoga pants and a hoodie with her hair pulled back in a high ponytail.

“How was your engagement?” I asked, noticing Josiah smirking at my question. I kicked at him playfully.

“Eventful. Lucrative.” Erin flopped herself down at the foot of Josiah’s bed. “Those bible belt dudes are full of pent up energy.”

“Oh Lord,” I snickered at my own pun. “I don’t know if I want to hear any more.”

“I do.” Josiah didn’t hesitate. Erin and I looked at him in such a way he knew he’d never get the details. He leaned back and laughed, knowing his chances of getting the scoop were slim to begin with.

Unless Thomas found it on YouTube, or wherever else Erin appeared on the internet.

“Mellie, Drake wants to talk to you.” Erin smiled as brightly as she could, even though she may as well have told me she wanted me to eat shit right then and there.

“Why? This can’t be good,” I whined. Ryder’s arm tightened around my waist. He had to agree.

“I didn’t ask. If he wanted me to know why, he would have told me.” She picked at her peeling pink nail polish. “I’m sure it’s no big deal.”

I looked back at Ryder, who shrugged. Josiah looked surprised, as well. “Fine, I’ll go and get this over with.” I looked back at Ryder. “Are you coming, babe?”

“Just you, Mel.” Erin said. Her voice shook a little bit.

I sighed. “Just promise me nothing bad is going to happen.”

“You’re really afraid of him? Come on, he’s not that bad,” Erin protested.

Josiah scoffed.

“I’ll be with you. It’s nothing. Really. Just come.”

This was the last thing I wanted to do. But I knew how Drake reacted to the word no. I didn’t want Erin to tell him she couldn’t deliver. She walked such a thin tightrope as it was with him, between his temper and his public family life.

I pulled myself away from Ryder, up off the bed. I could feel the tension stiffening his body as I left his arms. Just before I left the room, I looked back at Ryder, who hadn’t taken his eyes off of me.

E
rin held on to my hand as we walked back to Drake’s room. She must have known something she hadn’t wanted to say in front of Ryder. Or she just wanted to make sure she got me out of the room. Her uneasiness flowed beneath my skin.

“You totally should have come with me to San Antonio, it was so much fun!” She rambled. “I worked a total of ten minutes, signed some posters—”

“You have posters?”

“Of course. Those puppies sell for thirty bucks, signed. Took some pictures with some fans. The things those guys say. These big, burly men with huge cowboy hats and southern drawls wanting me to spank them ‘til they cry. I could hardly keep a straight face. Anyway, I got treated to a great dinner, put up in a nice room. The Riverwalk looked like so much fun, but I didn’t have anyone to play with. I feel like I miss out on so much. I mean, some of the guys from the club offered to show me the city, but I always say no to that type of stuff. You never know who you’re dealing with.”

“It makes me feel so better to hear that.” We were standing in front of a door that was probably Drake’s room. Erin didn’t make any effort to open the door right away. Maybe she wasn’t ready, either.

“I’m selling sex. It doesn’t make me stupid.” She frowned.

“I know you’re smart. But you know it’s risky. I worry.”

“And I love you for that.” Now she smiled, and then dug into her pocket for the key.

Showtime.

Drake sat at the hotel desk, in front of a laptop with a leather folder opened to the side. He looked over his reading glasses at us as we entered. I fought the urge to snicker at his granny glasses. They looked like he got them at the dollar store.

“Ladies.”

“Hey, honey.” Erin kissed him on the top of the head, then sat on the bed with a bounce. “Be nice to Melanie, okay?” She pouted slightly. God, she might not act stupid around these other guys, but Drake brought it out in her. Her voice even went up an octave. Maybe it was her way of flirting, but it infuriated me. Did she need to act like a child to capture his imagination?

Ugh.

“Why wouldn’t I be nice to Melanie?” He spun the chair around to face us. In addition to the glasses, he wore a T-shirt with the sleeves cut off to show his bad tattoos and red plaid pajama bottoms. I had changed into jeans and a sweater for the occasion.