Night Moves (The Night Songs Collection) (9 page)

E
rin was right. We all needed to sell a piece of ourselves to survive. At least she could live with the piece of herself she gave up to keep her bank account afloat. Who was I to judge?

“So how does this work?” I asked as we made our way back to The Raven parking lot. “Do you just follow the buses from town to town?”

“Sometimes.” Erin either didn’t pick up on my snark or chose to ignore it. “Or if I have a job, I just meet up with him later.”

“Do you have to wait to be summoned on to the bus?”

“Come on, Mel, it’s not like that. He lets me know when he’s ready for me.”

“And you just wait in your car until he crooks his finger? Jesus, do you have any idea how dangerous that is? These clubs are all in sketchy parts of town. Where do you sleep? When?”

“I’m fine! Seriously. Drake gave me some stuff to help me stay awake.”

Now it all made sense. Not eating, the endless chatter and fidgeting. “He gives you speed, you mean.”

“Something like that. It helps me do what I need to do.” Erin’s words were clipped.

“Oh, and let me guess, you can stop any time, right? What do your parents think of all of this?” Erin’s parents were old fashioned, super strict. She also had a bunch of big-ass brothers no one wanted to mess with, and an aunt who took being a nun very seriously.

Sadness washed over Erin’s face. I’d hit a nerve. “I haven’t talked to any of them in a while. Are you happy, Melanie? I’m fucking everything up. I’m sorry I can’t be perfect like you. But look, we both wound up in the same place, didn’t we?”

I made her cry. Shit. “Erin, I didn’t mean any of it like that. It’s just, I haven’t talked to you in so long and now you’re posting nudie pictures on the internet and chasing after some dead guy’s bus, and I know it came out all wrong, but I’m worried about you.”

“Then why did you never call me back?” Her voice was so small. “I kept sending you messages, and texting and I never heard from you.”

“I was busy. It’s not that I didn’t want to.” Don’t tell me this was my fault, too. I already felt badly enough.

“I know. Your big job.” She sniffled. I wanted to hug her, but it would just be all wrong. We’d already sailed right past that.

“My big fucking job that ruined everything. It ruined my whole life. And everyone else’s, apparently.” I slumped against the side of the bus. I didn’t want to just leave Erin waiting by herself in her beat up Honda, shivering and staring at her phone. “I’m so sorry, Erin. I missed you so much. All I’ve been thinking about the whole time I’ve been with the band is how much fun we had together, wondering what you were doing.”

“All you had to do was ask.” Erin hugged her arms around herself. Out of nowhere, she jumped, her face brightened. “I’ll be right there, baby,” she said as she answered the phone.

“Drake?” I asked.

She nodded, wiping the tears off her cheeks carefully so as not to disturb the black kohl lining her lower lashes. “Listen, I don’t want to fight with you, Mellie. I’ve missed you so much. I’m happy to have you back. But if you stick around, you’re just going to see things are different around here. You start thinking of things differently. And you know what? It all turns out okay. It always does.” She hugged me. I didn’t expect it, but I was more than happy to reciprocate. “I’ll see you at the show?”

“Of course.”

I climbed back on the bus still feeling unsettled and exhausted from my lunch date. I didn’t know Erin anymore. The person I knew used to be terrified that her parents might catch us when we’d head out on our adventures. She always stayed over at my house. My mother worked nights, so as long as we were back by seven thirty in the morning, nobody was the wiser. Erin always tried so hard to be perfect in their eyes, and now this?

I guess I could understand. Look where doing the right thing got me.

Ryder was somewhat awake when I collapsed in the bunk. “Where’d you go?” His strong hands rubbed my shoulders.

“Out to lunch with Erin.” His fingers stopped abruptly. “I take it you know her?”

“She’s here again?” Ryder sighed.

“Is that bad?” Poor Erin. Following jerk face Drake around in her own car and he didn’t even want her there? I hated him more by the second.

“Nah, she’s cool. But the last time she was around, Drake’s wife decided to show up and surprise him, and things got ugly.”

“Ugly how?”

“Polina tried to kill her. Seriously. Had her down on the floor, choking the life out of the girl. We had to pry them apart. She put some Italian curse on her, spitting on her hands and all that jazz. Crazy stuff. And you know, her family’s got some hold in the mob. If Erin doesn’t watch out, her next platform boots will be made out of cement, if you know I mean.”

“What a bitch.” My pulse raced with anger. “I mean, Erin shouldn’t be doing what she’s doing, but it takes two to tango. Did she do anything to Drake?”

“I’m sure she ripped him a new one, too. I don’t even like being in the same room as that nutcase. She’ll pull some Mediterranean voodoo shit on you when you’re not looking.”

“How did she take the news about the ever after?” I couldn’t imagine a woman like that would take it in stride.

“Please,” Ryder scoffed. “I’m sure that woman has been sucking blood for years.”

“She’s a vampire, too?”

“No. But she probably drinks blood for breakfast just for fun.” He smirked. “She’s always been a hellcat. There are some women that hold Drake in their spell. It always gets him into trouble.”

“Like The Mistress?” I couldn’t believe there were two women on earth that made Drake shake in his boots.

“Especially the Mistress.” Ryder sighed, pulling me down next to him. I nestled my body into his side, laying my head on his chest. We were two puzzle pieces who seemed to fit together perfectly. “I will never make you follow behind a bus and wait in your car for me.”

I picked my head up slightly, looking him in the eye the best I could. “So I’m sticking around?”

“As long as you can stand it.” He pulled my body up so my face was even with his. I angled myself so I could kiss him. “You make me feel whole again. It’s been a long time.”

I looked down at him, holding myself up with one hand and running the other along his cheek. His eyes looked so sad, vulnerable, like he could break into a million pieces at any moment. “You make me feel the same way. Everything, well almost everything, I hate about myself is gone when I’m with you.”

“I’m a murderer too, Melanie.”

That declaration made me shudder.

He wound his fingers around locks of my hair, pulling me in closer. “I don’t want you to be afraid of me.”

“I’m not.”

“I’m new to all of this, and I haven’t done anything I regret. Yet. I never mean to hurt you.”

“It sounds like you’re apologizing for something you haven’t done yet.”

“I guess I am.” He stroked my hair as my head settled back on his shoulder. “I mean, look at the three stooges out there. They’re idiots. They get loaded and things get out of control. We have a dead girl in the cargo hold, and she’s not the first. You need to know what you’re getting yourself into. We may look like people, but it’s a mirage. I think I have it under control, but my own wife didn’t trust me to be around my girls. I love them more than I’ve loved anything before. I’d never do anything to hurt them, would I? Is she right?”

“No.” I didn’t know what else to say. Every time Ryder mentioned his girls, his heart ripped apart all over again. There was nothing I could do to take his pain away.

“I know she’s protecting me, us, them. I tell myself that every day. But it doesn’t make it any easier.”

“Someday they’ll understand.”

Ryder scoffed. “Why daddy wasn’t there to put them to bed, or get them off the bus, or to play Santa? They’ll hate me. They’ll think I’m a monster, and they’ll be right.” His chest rose high and fell in defeat when he exhaled.

“I’m sorry.” I wrapped my arms around him, rocking him like a child. “I wish I could make it better for you.”

“You do.” His fingers trailed circles around my scalp, threatening to lull me to sleep. “I don’t want to lose you.” His voice rasped, barely more than a breath.

I crawled back up to meet his eyes, watery and frightened, and kissed him deeply. I wanted to show him he had become as much a part of what I needed as I was what he needed.

E
rin collapsed beside me in the round booth reserved for us, looking like the cat that ate the canary. Her brightly painted pink lips curled upwards in a satisfied smile.

“I take it you had a good afternoon.” I sipped my rum and coke.

The intermission music was loud and the small room was packed. Soul Divider still had a hold over Milwaukee. Erin leaned over and pushed her finger against my tragus so I could hear her better, just like old times. “It was wonderful.” She leaned back and fluttered her eyelashes.

“Dare I ask? Does Drake have an awful little bunk, too?”

Erin wrinkled her face in disgust. “Oh, hell no. He’s got a full bedroom in the back of the bus.” She leaned in closer, even though it was impossible to whisper. “There’s a mirror on the ceiling.”

Erin never had a problem sharing. In fact, over-sharing might be a little more of a problem for her. I guess it was a good trait to have in her line of work.

“Oh yeah?” I knew she was begging me to ask for more.

“Oh, yeah. I love watching his ass go up and down when he fucks me, and watching the blood appear on his skin when I scratch his back.”

That peaked my interest for the most macabre of reasons. “You draw blood on him? How does that work out?” A control freak like Drake would want to be in control of the blood, I would think.

“Um, yeah. Mel, you don’t know about the blood?”

“Sort of. I don’t know.” I sighed. “Tell me.”

“Have you drank from Ryder yet?”

I almost spit up my drink. “What?”

She pushed harder against my ear and spoke slowly. “Have you drank his blood?”

I pulled away from her, horrified. “Seriously?”

She dissolved into a fit of giggles. “Girl. Don’t knock it until you try it. It’s like traveling to another dimension.” She almost swooned. I still hadn’t recovered from the shock. “Words don’t describe unless you’ve experienced it. It’s like what ecstasy wishes it could be.”

“I thought people stopped doing E years ago.”

Erin rolled her eyes. “Not the drug, silly. The real thing.” Welcome To The Jungle began to blast from the PA, and the lights fell over the room, delighting the crowd. Erin grabbed my arm a little too hard. “Showtime!”

Erin got up to dance in front of the table, but I wasn’t in the mood. Ryder was in perfect character, joking and teasing the fans in front of the stage, playing the happy band mate, but it seemed obscene knowing how miserable he really was.

And the blood! How could I think about anything else? I could hear my own thrumming through my veins, my muscles clenching at the thought of drinking from Ryder.

“Let’s put on our own show.” Erin snapped me back to reality by grabbing both my arms to guide me out of the booth. I wrestled one hand free so I could bring my fresh drink along. It had been a long time since I’d put on a public performance. Who was I kidding? Before Ryder, I wasn’t even wearing cute underwear anymore.

God. Poor Jamie, he probably wished for death just so he could be rid of me. I had practically been a corpse myself.

Erin raised my hand in hers, spinning me around underneath it. She’d managed to clear out a space near the stage for our dance floor. The guys that surrounded us leered as their girlfriends looked disgusted. I wanted to run back to the table, but I knew Erin wouldn’t let me. She’d drag me right back. She shimmied down the side of my body, placing her hands on my waist to slide back up. I swayed back and forth with the rhythm in an effort to not look like a total ass.

I looked up at the stage. Drake couldn’t take his eyes off of Erin. Of course, four feet above us he had the best seat in the house. Erin’s cleavage swelled out of her black lacy corset top. A big pink bow held her in place like she was a present. I snuck a look back at her, but her eyes were locked on Drake as she nestled her butt into my hips and we rocked back and forth in unison. I looked over at Ryder and rolled my eyes. He just laughed.

I followed Erin’s routine for the rest of the concert. Our dance floor had closed in a bit, as people tired of watching our show and went back to viewing the one they paid to see. After the band took their final bow, a group of girls lingered near the stage, presumably pleading with the roadies to help them meet the band.

“They’re so stupid.” Erin threw her legs over mine. We were back in the booth, finishing off our drinks. The band usually did some sort of meet and greet after the show, so there was no need to hurry back to the bus.

Only three days into this and the bus already felt like a coffin. Windowless, airless, cramped. Of course, I was traveling with the living dead, so it made sense. Maybe Erin didn’t have it so bad in her own car. At least she could open a window.

“Hey, Erin!” A skinny, pretty girl in an off the shoulder T-shirt and torn jeans approached the table, flanked by three of her nervous looking friends.