Night Seeker (8 page)

Grieve let out a snort. “I know. I know. I just feel so damned helpless right now. I’m caught between being who I was and being a monster. I feel the urge to hunt rise in me and I push it down. I feel Myst’s call, but I fight it off because I hate her. I cannot let myself become one of her creatures. Yet…how much longer can I go on living like this? None of you trust me.” He reached down to stroke my cheek, smiling sadly at me. “And I understand why. I don’t even trust myself. But at least I recognize the potential within…the potential to become a ruthless killer.”

Grieve’s conflict made my heart ache. How were we going to resolve this? Luna’s suggestion that there might be a cure locked away within the Akazzani’s archives gave me a glimmer of hope. I just prayed it wouldn’t be dashed away.

Kaylin sat down next to Grieve, folding his elbows on the table, his expression sober. “I understand. Really, I do. When my night-veil demon entered my soul while I was in my mother’s womb, it forever changed the potential of who I could become. A fact I learned all too well when Cicely helped to wake my demon. There was a horrendous struggle between us—the night-veil and me. And I’m still not sure exactly who won. I don’t know if I’m Kaylin with the waking demon in his soul, or the demon with the memory of Kaylin in his soul.”

Restless, he crossed to the nearest window and stared out into the snow. “We’re all changing. Cicely, your memories are waking…You are beginning to remember the time when you were Myst’s daughter. The obsidian knife would have bent your nature if you’d kept using it.”

“It already did that.” I stared at my hands. I’d used one of the Shadow Hunters’ knives, only to find it strengthening the part of me that had once been Myst’s daughter. I would have gone into a killing frenzy if my father hadn’t stopped me. The taste of the enemy’s blood was thick in my mouth, and I still remembered the intense joy of stabbing the knife through his body. “We’re all twisted. We’ve all lost part of our souls because of our battle with Myst.”

Rhiannon came quietly over to sit by my side. “You are experiencing what happened to me when I was thirteen. When I…when I called the flame and burned up the little girl in the car, it took away a part of me forever. I know what it’s like to be ridden by a power. Perhaps this transformation, it’s something that links us all?”

“Perhaps.” I wondered if Luna had her story to tell as well. Peyton was consumed by her werepuma side at times. And Chatter…well…Chatter seemed the solid one. The one untouched by the madness. He alone stood as a bright shining beacon to me, a symbol of friendship and loyalty, but looks could be deceving.

“So, what
are
you going to do about the Consortium?” Rhiannon forced a smile and took my hands. “Marta wouldn’t let me be part of the community after my…accident. But Ysandra invited me in with you. So I consider that one a victory.”

I squeezed her hands, bringing them to my lips to kiss them lightly. “Yes, it is most definitely a victory. I’m going to tell Ysandra the truth. I have her card with her phone number. I’ll call her tomorrow and talk to her.”

Wrath stood. “I can take word to them. They are not always grateful to see the Fae, but they have never turned on us. I can fly there in my owl form.”

“No—we need you here.” I was worried. I’d just found my father, I didn’t want to lose him.

“You forget, my dear. I am King of Summer. King of the Court of Rivers and Rushes. I have many tricks up my sleeve.” He took my hand and pulled me to my feet. I leaned against him and he hugged me.
Warm, paternal, caring.
He would never be the suburban father I’d imagined, but
he was
my
father and he cared about me, and that’s all that mattered.

“I know. But don’t go. Please stay with us.”

“Very well. If you wish it.”

I turned to the others. “I want you all to know that whatever happens with the Consortium, happens. I’m not going to let our panic create a tangle of lies. There are a few things I’d rather not tell them, but I’m done with lying.”

“I think you’re making the right choice.” Luna gave me a sheepish smile. “They have so many ways to pick up on liars…”

Kaylin flashed her a quiet look, then shrugged. “As you will. But I still think we could pull it off.” Another sly grin, but I knew he was teasing.

“Truth is our best approach. Hopefully, we won’t look like total idiots.” I was regretting ever following Kaylin’s advice, but it had seemed the best way to hide the fact that Heather had been kidnapped. And at the time we didn’t dare tell them about Myst—we weren’t clear on who we could trust with the knowledge. Now that we knew we couldn’t deal with the Mistress of Mayhem by ourselves, we might as well admit it.

Kaylin finished spreading out the herbs and began sorting them into piles. Luna joined him.

“We need more supplies.” He held up a bag of dried leaves, squinting at it. “Is this mugwort or vervain?”

“Vervain, I think.” Luna joined him at the table, helping to separate the herbs.

“Thanks, Luna. You know, I think that tomorrow, we should sneak out of town, over to Monroe, and see what we can find. We’ll have to take my car. Your GTO is too recognizable, Cicely. I don’t want to be run off the road.”

“You don’t believe the Shadow Hunters would try that, do you? They don’t work with technology. I doubt if they can even get into a car, let alone drive one.” I picked up a couple of the bags containing woven garlic charms. “Maybe I should wear a strand of this while I sleep to keep Lannan out of my bed.”

“Not such a good idea.” Lannan interrupted, entering the room again.

I whirled around, blushing. I’d been joking, at least partially, but Lannan might not see it that way.

But he simply shook his head, and added, “While the Shadow Hunters may not try to run you off the road, Geoffrey might. If he even suspects you’re going to the Consortium for help, chances are he’ll try to stop you. He wants this war all to himself.”

“I had him pegged all wrong, didn’t I?” I’d thought Geoffrey the most reasonable of the vampires. But that theory had been shot to hell.

“What about me? Do you think you pegged me wrong?” Lannan cocked his head, flirting.

I glanced over at Grieve. “No, I think I’ve got your number down pat. Here, have a necklace.” I tossed the garlic charm his way but Kaylin caught it midair and pocketed it.

“What was that?” Lannan stepped forward.

“Nothing, just a stupid impulse,” Kaylin said. “Ignore her. She’s tired.”

“I see.” Lannan continued to stare at me.

I decided that retreat was my best ally. “I’m going to sleep. We’ll talk more in the morning. Grieve, join me, my love?” I’d been an idiot. Sassing Lannan was one thing. If he was in a good mood, he’d overlook it. But actively throwing a garlic charm at him? Stupid beyond the max. I could only chalk it up to exhaustion. I turned to Grieve. “Come with me?”

But he glanced at my father, who shook his head no, and reluctantly, Grieve leaned over to kiss me. “Not this evening. I suggest you and the other girls retire to your bedroom. We spruced it up today so it’s a little more comfortable. You’ll be safe there. Chatter and I will watch over you during the night.”

I wanted to protest that we didn’t need watching over, but that was stupid. We needed all the help we could get. We were all strong, but none of us was invincible, and even with Ulean at my side, I was as vulnerable as Myst’s next victim. Perhaps even more so.

I yawned, stretching as I avoided looking at Lannan. “Yeah, we’ll sleep. We need to rest. My body is weary and
my mind—wearier.” I motioned to Luna, Peyton, and Rhiannon. “Come on, girls. Let’s get some downtime.”

“Here, take these.” Chatter handed us cherry-stone warmers—cherry stones my aunt had sewn into bags that were heated in either a microwave or—in this case—in the range oven. We’d tuck them under the covers near our feet and they’d keep us toasty into the cold, chill night.

“Thank you. What about the space heaters?”

“Not a good idea to have around so many flammable items,” Kaylin said. “But the blankets are piled high like they were last night and the stone warmers should help take the edge off.”

And with that, we entered the shrouded room.

I made sure the door was closed before we tucked the warmers under the covers and changed for the night. We were relieved to have nightclothes again. The past couple of nights, we’d slept in our jeans and sweatshirts. While upstairs at the Veil House, Kaylin had managed to scavenge enough clothing to provide each of us with several changes of jeans, shirts, along with underwear, nightgowns, and robes. He’d also scrounged up a few more personal items that we might need and for that, I blessed his heart. I was PMSing like crazy and cracked open the ibuprofen after I slid into the comfy flannel gown.

The room was set up with a bunch of old cushions serving as one big bed. The four of us women could easily fit on the makeshift mattress. A half bath to the left offered a working toilet and sink. I longed for a toothbrush, but for now the tube of toothpaste Kaylin had found, and our fingers, would have to do. If we did make a supply run, we were laying in a supply of toothbrushes.

After we changed and washed up as best as we could, lingering under the hot water as it splashed across our hands, we slid beneath the covers, our heads together in the center.

“Do you think we can win? Do you really think we can take down Myst?” Rhiannon said after a moment.

“Dark thoughts aren’t the best thing to discuss before
bedtime.” I must have sounded a little too harsh because Rhia looked hurt. Relenting, I burrowed under the covers as far as I could and added, “I don’t know, but we’ll try. If we can get hold of Lainule’s heartstone, we’ll stand a better chance.”

Peyton sounded strained. “I wonder what my father will be like. You know what it’s like, Cicely—never to know your father. How do you feel now that you’ve met him?”

I thought about her question before answering. “Honestly? Relieved that he wasn’t some freak. That he wasn’t a junkie. Given Krystal’s addictions, there was no way to tell. It’s odd, because my birth was planned by Lainule and Wrath. Krystal was a tool. A pawn to bring me back into this world. I can’t help but wonder if Wrath cared about her. He…he’s so far beyond what my mother could ever have hoped to be. Or anyone she could hope to be with.”

Ever since finding out he was my father I’d played out a dozen scenarios in my head about how they met. Maybe she was out in the woods, walking, and he showed up out of nowhere and stole her breath away. Maybe he snuck into her room in bird form and then, like a prince out of a Faerie tale, turned into the handsome king, promising to take away her worries. Maybe…maybe I’d never know, and maybe that was best.

Peyton sniffled. “I used to imagine that Rex had to be dead. Otherwise, surely he would have come back to find me, to find out if we were okay. I couldn’t let myself believe that he was alive and happy, knowing that he’d left behind a daughter who never got to know him.”

Rhiannon murmured in soft agreement. “I’m still in the dark about my father. I have no clue who he was, or what I am. I’m just…a woman who once killed a little girl with my fire, and my mother is a vampire, working for an evil queen.” She sounded lost and frightened.

“Are you thinking about Leo?” I sat up, gathering the covers around me to wrap them tight against the cold.

Rhia let out a forced laugh as she scooted over next to me and leaned her head on my shoulder. “Leo? I don’t know if I ever really knew him. I thought I did, but now I
think…I was in love with the idea of being in love. Or maybe I loved the man I thought he was, but in reality it was a sham. He let me believe he was who I wanted him to be. Not once did he ever tell me he was interested in being a vampire.”

I hated sticking up for the scum, but there was a part of Leo that I understood. The all-too human side. “He probably knew how you felt. He wanted you to love him and said the right things, made the right moves…Don’t we all do that at times?” I paused, wondering whether I should ask the next question. But since we were having an impromptu girls’ night, I decided to go ahead. “And what about Chatter? Did you ever talk to Leo about him?”

She shook her head. “No, never.”

“But you thought about him.”

Rhiannon let out a soft sigh. “I met Chatter in the woods a few times when I was a teenager—I don’t think Grieve knew, we kept it secret. But I couldn’t believe we had a chance.” She looked up at me. “I don’t think I’ve ever loved anybody else. And I always remembered him. How caring he was, how gentle, how I trusted him and he never let me down. He gave me my first kiss, out there in the woods, when I was fifteen. But I couldn’t tell him about the little girl. I was too ashamed. I thought he’d hate me, so I never went back again.”

Luna had been listening to us, watching us in the dim light of the twenty-five-watt exposed bulb that lit our chamber. She pushed herself to sitting, too, huddling under the covers. “I listen to all of you and I think how lucky I had it. My family loves me, even if they don’t understand me. I’ve never had a great love, but I’ve never had great loss, either. I’ve only sung about it. I guess I’ve lived vicariously through my music.”